Excess Express waitress
The title of this article is conjectural; an official name for the article's subject has not been found, so it has been given a fitting title by the editors. If an official name is found, then the article should be moved to its appropriate title.
| Excess Express waitress | |
|---|---|
 Sprite from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door | |
| Species | Toad |
| First appearance | Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (2004) |
| Latest appearance | Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (Nintendo Switch) (2024) |
- “Welcome, welcome!☆ Today's dinner is the... Mushroom Full Course!☆”
- —Excess Express waitress, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
The Excess Express waitress is a Toad who works on the Excess Express in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door and its remake. According to Goombella, she probably is not a very good waitress but likely attracts many men. The waitress is a huge fan of Zip Toad, overjoyed with his apparent presence on the train. The waitress often uses star symbols in her text, only in the original game, and speaks in a hyperactive, line-by-line sequence.
History
Mario first meets the waitress after boarding the Express Express on their way to Poshley Heights in their quest for the Garnet Star. Shortly after the train departs, Heff T. steals Chef Shimi's pot of stew, leading detective Pennington to randomly accuse passengers of the crime, including Zip Toad. The waitress is quick to defend her idol. She jokes about Shimi being only able to cook with mushrooms.
Later, her Shell Earrings are stolen by Doopliss (who has been disguised as Zip Toad all along) at the behest of Beldam. The earrings were given to her by her ex-boyfriend, apparently an unnamed Little Mouser Mario can speak to in Podley's Place who wonders if she still keeps them. The Three Shadows planned to mix the Shell Earrings with Toodles's Gold Ring and some Nitro Honey Syrup stolen from the Businessman's briefcase to set off an explosion, destroying the train and fulfilling the "sticky, yummy doom" Mario has been warned of. Mario eventually catches Doopliss, who reluctantly relinquishes the stolen items. If Mario returns the Shell Earrings to the waitress, she will reward him with a Star Piece in gratitude, calling him the nicest, old mustachioed man she's ever met. She also confesses she had doubts about Doopliss really being Zip Toad.
At the start of the third day, the waitress, along with the other passengers and staff, goes missing, being absorbed into a hoard of Smorgs that attacks the train. Mario finds the waitress and the Excess Express conductor being held hostage in the baggage car. After freeing them, the waitress notes the Smorgs must have abducted her in her sleep. Mario eventually defeats the rest of the Smorgs, causing them to blow away in the wind, and allowing the rest of the passengers to arrive safely in Poshley Heights. The waitress remains on the train for the rest of the game, continuing her duties alongside Shimi.
After Chapter 6, there is a blue Toad in Cabin 001 who reveals he has taken the train countless times because he is in love with the waitress and wants to approach her but cannot muster the courage.
In the remake on the Nintendo Switch, the waitress is added to the group in Poshley Heights as they shout support into the Crystal Star to aid Mario and his partners during the final battle.
Tattle
- "That's the waitress of the Excess Express. Kinda spacey. Think she's an OK waitress? Probably not... but guys always go for girls like this, don't they? Why is that, Mario?"
Goombella has an alternate tattle for the waitress after Mario rescues her from the Smorgs in the baggage car.
- "That's the waitress of the Excess Express. I bet she's a little shocked by all this!"
Gallery
Concept art of the Excess Express passengers and staff, including the watiress.
Trivia
- In the original game's end credits parade, the waitress' silhouette can be seen with the Poshley Heights characters.
- In the remake, she, Chef Shimi, Toodles, Zip Toad, Heff T., and the businessman follow behind Pennington as he investigates the stage. This is until Ghost T. appears and spooks at them, resulting in them all fleeing in horror as Ghost T. ascends into a bright light.
- She is the only Toad with hearts on her cap in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. This resembles Vanna T. from Paper Mario.
