List of Sammer Guy quotes
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This article is under construction by Ultimate Mr. L (talk). Therefore, please excuse its informal appearance while it is being worked on. We hope to have it completed as soon as possible.
This is a list of quotes by Sammer Guys in the Duel of 100. They are sorted in order of appearance.
Chapter 6-1 (Rounds 1-25)
| Sammer Guy | Pre-Battle | Defeated | Post-Battle |
|---|---|---|---|
| Jade Blooper | I am known as Jade Blooper, Keeper of the first-- Wait, you are that challenger from before! You fled this land like a crying whelp... The hole in the sky is gone, but the challenge stands until a victor is found! If you desire the king's treasure, step forth and challenge my skill. Leave the palace before the 100th fight ends, and your progress will be lost. And with it, your family's HONOR! | I am sunk... | Your skill is strong. Your master has taught you many ancient techniques... May we cross tentacles again, challenger! |
| Hill with Eyes | I SEE YOU! Look upon Hill with Eyes, keeper of the 2nd gate! You run along the earth, attacking immobile blocks... AND I SEE YOU! You leap above deep pits, dodging wandering beasts... AND I WATCH YOU! Soon you will fall in battle by my merciless hand... AND I LAUGH AT YOU! | Ow... Right in the eye... | You did not wither beneath my cold, unflinching stare... And so I am defeated... But defeat and victory are equally meaningless to one such as I. I will remain in the distance without remorse and... ALWAYS WATCHING! |
| Puffing Fist | An opponent blows in... My name floats like a ill wind, for I am Puffing Fist, guardian of the 3rd gate! I can send the mightiest opponent to his doom with a single strike! Pwaaaaaang! | Noo... It is you who has dealt the pwaaaanging... | I have failed the ancient Pwaaaaaaaang traditions! My strikes lack puff. I must go train at the cloud temple. I will use my remaining vacation days. |
| Squatting Birdo | Soon, challenger, you will scream in terror at the name of the FLIGHTLESS BIRD! For I am Squatting Birdo, ever-hunkering guardian of the 4th gate! Now you will know the fury of the most deadly fighting style. Birdo...SQUAT! | SQUAAAAWWWWWK! | The egg of my defeat burns hot on my face... I bow to your skill. Birdo be with you, challenger! |
| Leeping Cheep | Tell me, challenger, have you ever tried to catch a jumping fish with your bare hands? You will know the frustration soon, for I am Leeping Cheep, keeper of the 5th gate! The Cheep Cheep soars in the air and strike sits prey like a fishy tsunami! | But...that's so cheeeeeep! | Your skill is strong. If only my flying, fishy friends had leapt to my aid when I called out for them... |
| Master Wiggler | Before we fight, consider this haiku... "A challenger comes... Under the darkening sky... Wiggity wiggle..." Master Wiggler wiggles in defense of the 6th gate... WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE! | Wigggggoooorrttt! | Before you leave, contemplate this haiku... "The challenger came... Now my face wiggle sin pain... Wiggle wiggle wig..." Wiggle on, warrior, wiggle on... |
| Shoe of Kuribo | STOMPOW! I am Shoe of Kuribo! I protect the 7th gate! STOMPOW! Some try to tiptoe past me like little fancy slippers! I stomp them! STOMPOW! Shoe stomps all! STOMPOW! She of Kuribo will tread on you! STOMPOW! | STOMPOWED! | Stompow... I am stomped... You crushow my stompow... You boot shoe! STOMPOW! |
| Guy Who Fry | YOU FRY NOW! I am Guy Who Fry, master of Dripping Magma Punch, guard of the 8th gate. I see your eyes burn with purpose. Will I torch you today? Or will your burning desire to win extinguish me? I say... YOU FRY NOW! | It is I who fry today... | I am like a sad pail of discarded grease... Go now and fry Sammer Guys in memory of Guy Who Fry! |
| Name | YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZK! The shrill shriek of the SCREEEAAAAMING MANTISSSS paralyzes you at gate 9! You are motionless with fear! Now I prey on you face! YEZZZZZZZZZK! | HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEEEEEECHHHHHHZZZZZZ! | Screaming Mantis's throat grows hoarse... Screaming mantis requires a lozenge... |
| Koopa in Winter | And so you come at last... like a young bloom poking through an early spring snow. I am called Koopa in Winter. I wait, immobile, by the 10th gate. The plant that blooms early freezes and perishes...and so, too, shall you! | N-N-N-Noooooo! | The cold sun of winter has set upon my soul... It made you bloom this day, but beware... The Ice and snow know no allegiance. They will consume you too! |
| Footsteps of Coins | The 11th gate... A place of power. And here you find Footsteps of Coins! Tell me, warrior, do you walk with your eyes open? Do you see many coins? Coins in blocks, coins on clouds... Everywhere there are coins glittering. it is I who leave them. It is I who wander the wide world, coins falling from my heels. Does this mean other should pick up my coins? OF COURSE NOT! The coins are mine alone! And now, I will make change out of YOU! CHA-CHING! | I'm broke! | My wealth was in my battle skills and you have robbed me of them. My poverty of spirit is now matched by my empty pockets. And now I am faced with... NO! A loan from Mother! She will frown upon me! I would rather sell my weapons! |
| Urchin Lung | So, you challenge your skill in the Duel of 100? I am the guardian of the 12th gate... Urchin Lung. Hah hah. So... You must be wondering, "How many more of these guys must I fight?" FOOL! There are 88 more of us! Does your resolve falter? Do you have what it takes? It is a rleentless marathon of martial artistry! Now, come at me! | A cramp! I yield... | Hah hah. So you are not a slacker after all, fresh challenger... You may have the stamina to defeat us all. Or perhaps you will get a side ache! |
| Crow Who Eats | KAKAAAAWWWW! KAKAAWWW! I will feast on the delicious flavor of your defeat! I am Crow Who Eats, guardian of the 13th gate! I will make meals form your shame! KAAAKAAAAWW! | Kawwwwww...kawwww...kaww... | Cruel irony...now it is I who must eat crow... |
| Swollen Tongue | Hewwo, pwaything! I am Swollen Tongue, maste rof the 14th gate... Flear me! You shall not gas! Wait, I mean gwass! I mean...PASS! Oh, who cares! Lettuce fight! Gahh! | Glaagb... I have been fit! I mean...HIT! I wish I was more fit... | So... Had enough, have you? Buy now! I mean BYE! |
| Slipping Grip | The foe you face next is Slipping Grip, fearless guardian of the 15th gate. I am a new student of the Sweaty Palm Martial Arts Academy... But I recently passed my Slapatology exam with the highest marks! Now it is you who reap the benefits of my industrious note taking! | Grip...slipping... | I bring shame upon the Sweaty Palm Martial Arts Academy! But you will be no match for my brothers! Their palms wield the fury of the winds! |
| Clammy Hand | So you have defeated my brother... I am the second most famous student of the Sweaty Palm Martial Arts Academy... You have no doubt seen me in the academy newsletter. Guarding the 16th gate is my senior project. I WILL NOT FAIL! | The world...grows...clammy...So...clammy... | You must face my other brother next! He got *detention/expelled* for studying the forbidden Wicked Palm of a Thousand Sweats! |
| Forbidden Slap | I am Forbidden Slap, former top student of the sweaty Palm Martial Arts Academy... But I was expelled for learning forbidden slapping techniques from dark tomes. Now I wield history's most feared and reviled sword slaps! | The Forbidden Slap yields... | You have defeated the three star pupils of the Sweaty Palm Martial Arts Academy... We three will train for months to regain our honor. as for you... You may pass! |
| Hairy Arantula in the Grass | Come closer! I am just a harmless leaf on the trimmed lawn of the 18th gate... HAAACHHH! NO! I am Hairy Arantula in the Grass! I leap on your head and bite your earlobe! HAAACHHH! | Tchchchch-Tchch-Tch... | Your earlobe, it is like IRON! I skitter away... |
| Another Castle | Stoic and impenetrable, Another Castle stands vigil over the 19th gate... Many challengers attempt to lay siege on me. All leave in tears. Tire yourself all you like pummeling my stony abdomen... I WILL NOT FALL! | Walls...falling... | Well done...but your prize is in another castle... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. |
| Rolling Thwomp | SMOOOSH! TO ROLLING THWOMP, THERE IS ONE THING BEST IN LIFE... ROLLING. SQUISH! I ROLL OVER YOU AND MAKE YOU FLAT LIKE SHEET OF PAPER! | BYORGG! | WHY DO YOU NOT SQUISH FOR ROLLING THWOMP? ROLLING AND SQUISHING IS NOT THE SAME AS IT WAS... YOU GO NOW... I HAVE LOST PASSION FOR SQUISH... |
| Thrashing Prawn | The guardian of the 21st gate simmers in hot, savory fury! I am THRASHING PRAWN! You will never pierce my briny husk! I will flail mercilessly at your face with tiny arms! | I thrash...in rage.. | So you have defeated the briny terror of the Sammer Kingdom... But there are crabbier challengers ahead... |
| Thousand-Year Roar | GRAAARRRR! It is I, Thousand-Year Roar! I will make your ears explode with a guttural, manly shout! | Yelp! | Grarrr...? The Thousand-Year Roar is reduced to a pitiful whimper... |
| Unshy Guy | I am Unshy Guy. Public speaking holds no challenge for me! I will bludgeon you with confidence and charm! | My confidence is shattered... | The balloon of my self-esteem has been savagely punctured. I feel so...deflated... |
| Useless Badge | I am...Useless Badge. Living a life without utility enrages me! I may exist only for novelty, but that won't stop me from attacking you with futility! | It is...useless... | Bleh! You reek of shrooms... It is a most disgusting odor! Is that the secret to being less useless? Do you eat them and be useful? I hate shrooms, but I will eat them by the handful if they make me less ineffective... |
| Sunshine Flood | FOULNESS! I am Sunshine Flood, the shining beacon that exposes your filthy filth! I will mop the stage with your filthy clothes! FILTHY FILTH FILTH! | I have been dirtied... | You have shamed me. You are truly a champion... A filthy champion, but a champion nonetheless... Now you may go and prove your filth to even stronger Sammer Guys... |
Chapter 6-2 (Rounds 26-50)
| Sammer Guy | Pre-Battle Quote | Defeat Quote | Post-Battle Quote |
|---|---|---|---|
| Grand Master Kickface | Tell me, challenger, do you come to the 26th gate seeking a kick in face? I am Grand Master Kickface, foremost dispenser of swift kicks in face. You seek face kick...AND FACE KICK YOU RECEIVE! | Ughh...my face... | Many faces have I kicked... But this day, it is my face that feels foot... I must climb the highest peak and meditate on my failure to kick face... You may pass. May your feet swiftly impact the faces of a dozen warriors... |
| Soaring Cape | You arrive at the 27th gate, but you foolishly do not look to the skies. I do not wear it now, but I am Soaring Cape. I would have swooped down on you. But my cape has shrunk, and now I must defeat you tethered to the earth. I am at a great disadvantage. If you have honor, you will not use your best ability! I will fight you, but know that you do not face my full soaring wrath! | I am...grounded... | If only I had my cape! They will pay dearly for shrinking my cape of soaring. Take your victory and run, but always turn and look to the skies behind you! |
| Yowling Yux | WAACHAAWW! KEEEEYAAAAWWWWWWWWW 28TH GATE HICHOOWWWWWWW YOWLING YUX HYAAWW! .............. PACHOWWW! | Keyaawww... | My battle screams had no effect on you... That was the first time I had to fight... Everyone else ran away when I started shouting long, crazed strings of nonsense... You may pass, but do not tell the others! They think I am an insane grandmaster... |
| Mystical Whistle | The 29th gate. A place of gossip and legend. Here you find Mystical Whistle. I am here, deep in the Duel of 100, to keep my intoxicating power safe. Many have sought to harness my power to ride the wind past the obstacles of life. Some succeed. There is a name for them. That name is CHEATER. Now, I will CHEAT you out of your life! | You must have...used...a...code... | You have defeated Mystical Whistle, but I will not whisk you to a faraway land... Cheaters are only cheating themselves out of the great journey... You have honor, and so I know you would not wish to dishonor yourself. You may pass. But know that Mystical Whistle always waits, ever tempting... |
| Laughing X-Naut | HAH HAH HAH. You are that famous hero form a faraway world! HAH HAH. Long have I heard legends of your brave deeds and comical hijinks! HAH. Never did I, Laughing X-Naut, expect to meet you here at the 30th gate! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I hate you. |
Hah...hah...hah...hah... | Hah. Hah. Hah...X-Naut. I laugh on the outside, but I cry on the inside... Always crying... |
| Dances on Turtles | Some men dance on dance floors... Some men dance in jubilant celebration... And some men dance on the heads of turtles... I AM THAT MAN. I am... Dances on Turtles. Today, it is you who are the turtle! | You have danced a lively jig upon my honor... | I gained so much joy from dancing upon turtles and kicking their shells... I must find a new hobby, like sliding down hills INTO turtles. I will change my name! |
| Fathomless Chasm of Falling | Gingerly you step into the 32nd gate, and for good reason... For Fathomless Chasm of Falling stands between you and the gate. Many have attempted to leap beyond me, only to plummet to their game over... You cannot leap what is unleapable... NOW YOU PLUNGE TO YOUR DOOM! | I have been...vaulted... | You leap into Fathomless Chasm of Falling, and yet you are unscathed! Go now! Leave me to ensnare less fleet-footed interlopers... |
| Thirsting Bones | Creeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak! Thirsting Bones guards this 33rd of gates... My dry, dry bones grow parched and juiceless. They yearn for dampness... I WILL MOISTEN THEM WITH YOUR TEARS! | Creeeeaaaaaak...CRACK... | Your drenched bones are an embarrassment of juicy riches! Why do you not share your watery abundance? Thirsting Bones is so dry...So dry... |
| Molten Panther | Rweeowr! You stop now, at the 34th gate. Half cat, half geological event, Molten Panther erupts in a flaming sludge of RAGE! Like a searing, smoking river of magma running down a volcano, you cannot flee me! PUURRRRRRRRR! | Hisssss... | You did not combust in a fiery display...and so I am defeated. I will smolder, ready to burst again from the ground in a flaming spurt... |
| Peeking Boo | A snicker in the darkness... A blurry glow... The prickle of a neck hair... It is I, Peeking Boo, who watches from the shadows and haunts the 35th gate... Whatever you do, interloper, DO NOT LOOK AWAY! | Boooooooooooooo... | You have won this day, but you will never be rid of me... You will never have a moment that escapes my peeking gaze... |
| Action Commander | You are late. You have much to learn about timing from Action Commander! No audience can contain its applause when I execute moves of great style. Here at the 36th gate, you meet timing perfection! NOW IS ACTION TIME! | It is not...my time... | My actions were commanded with perfection, yet you still shamed me. I am humbled. Never again will I let cheers of "stylish!" cloud my head... |
| Bullet Ill | Bleeechhh... I am Bullet Ill, guardian...ughh...of the 37th gate... I will blast into you with the raw power of a violent stomach cramp... | Hurrrrgggggghhh... | The bitter taste of defeat makes me queasy... I should never have used my last sick days on that week at the beach... Go! Go quickly...before I fire another round of projectiles... |
| Sliding Shell | You arrive at the 38th gate, the treacherous grounds of Sliding Shell. Always do I glide upon the ground, undercutting the legs of my opponents. No line of warriors is left standing after I ravage the landscape. You stand now upon dangerous ground Now you must... LEAP FOR YOUR LIFE! | Clink... Clonk... | This shame will bounce in my head for eternity like a shell between two pipes... Glide on, challenger, and cut down all those that stand before you! |
| Software Pirate | YARRRRRRRRRRRR! Me name be Software Pirate, barnacle-booty'd scourge of the 39th gate! I be plunderin' yer bits an' yer bytes and downloadin' 'em into me britches! Me treasure disks'll be full of cyber-riches after I swipe yer "Downloads" folder! DIGIBOOTY AHOY! | Arrrful... | Yarrr, I be washed up... Sunk by me unquenchable lust for digibooty... |
| Flailing Boom Boom | BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Flailing Boom Boom is master of this place, the 40th of gates! First I FLAIL! Then I go BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! FLAIL! BOOOOOOOOOM! | I fizzle... | But I FLAILED! Then I went BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! But I lose... Next time, I go BOOOOOOM! Then I FLAAAAAAAAAAAIL! ...AND I WIN! |
| Sun of Displeasure | Beating relentlessly upon your sweaty brow, it is I, Sun of Displeasure! My burning disapproval burns like a furnace in the sky! No oil or lotion can spare you from my white-hot wrath! SIZZZZZZLE! | I hang low...in the sky... | You fight with honor and skill, even in the angry face of a force of nature! Sun of Displeasure looks upon you with approval! |
| Furious Fang of Goomb | In you sneak to gate 42, only to be confronted by the Furious Fang of Goomb! My fangs are small and have never pierced the hide of any creature... But today, you will carry the shame of being the first to fall to them! | I think I lost a fang... | My life is a lie! My fangs, they are not so furious... What is a fang if it is only to be ridiculed?! |
| Zesty Recipe | Challenger! You approach the 43rd gate, yet you bring no sandwiches? I am Zesty Recipe, and you dishonor yourself by not bringing a savory snack. No matter. I am cooking my own special recipe for you... The soup of your DEATH! | Hoisted by my own...spatula... | You held the ingredients to my downfall... You may pass, but take that secret recipe to your grave! |
| Warping Pipe | And so you appear, as if by some hidden byway. I am Warping Pipe. I guard the 44th gate, true, but that is not all... I hold hidden knowledge... Yes! All worlds are linked, and I travel among them! No, I will not show you how. Such Power is not for you, who would cheat through life. true warriors must see all worlds before skipping among them. NOW, TO BATTLE! | Reality has warped! | You command the power of time and space, I see... I underestimated you... You fight in the fabled Warp Zone, where the mighty warriors tread. I concede. |
| Fruit in Belly | Fruit in Belly welcomes you to the 45th gate! As you see, no plump fruits hang from lush trees and bushes... I have picked them all clean. The only colorful fruit left ungulped...IS YOU! | Gulp... | Fortune smiles on you. The seeds of ten thousand fruits weighed me down... Hyaawnn... So sleepy... Now I will nap, dreaming fresh, dewy melon dreams... |
| Last Sheep | Reaching the 46th gate is not easy. I, the Last Sheep, applaud you. Surely you are exhausted, challenger. You are in need of blissful rest. I linger at the hind end of the herd, but it is I who finally brings sleep. Snuggle close to a soft and wooly blanket... Make your defeat a groggy one... | Baaaaahhhh! | Many have dozed off to the rhythmic sound of my prancing hoofs... But how do you resist the bewitching charm of the pillow? You have an iron will... |
| Infinity Shlurp | SHLURRRPUPRYLURPSHLURPPSHLOORPYROP-SHLUUUURRRPPURRRPSHLYRRPYSHLUUURPPP! INFINITY SHLURP SHLURRP YOU NOW SHLOOOOORP! NO SHLORPING GATE 47 GURRP! SHLURRRP! | No shlurpy shlurpy... | Sad about no shlurp shlurp... Oh shlurpy well shlurp gurp... Still hungry...shlurrrrp... |
| Spanner of Rock | Up I pop form the bowels of the city, my wrenches wheeling through the sky! It is I, Spanner of Rock, who pelts you in defense of the 48th gate! I fling a whirling wrench into your plans! | To the...manhole... | The bitter, rusty taste of defeat fills my mouth... I must return under the manhole to train with Grandmaster Rocky... |
| Star of Seven Shards | Twinkle and glitter I do, for I am Star of Seven Shards! You are drawn to my shimmer at the 49th gate like a moth to a flame! I catch your eye, like a fleck of gold in a pan! You will try to take me... but it is you who will be shattered! | I am...broken... | Your victory has shattered my delicate facets, but it is you who loses most... For one day, you must travel every land in an epic search for my many shards... |
| Ice World | A hostile wind ripples up the small of your back... It is the hoary breath of Ice World. Every traveler must come upon me eventually...and you find me at the 50th gate. You try to tiptoe past my stormy wrath, but you bring down...THE AVALANCHE! | And so I melt... | You have beaten Ice World, which means you can fight Bonus World! Just kidding. |
==Chapter 6-3 (Rounds 51-75)
| Sammer Guy | Pre-Battle Quote | Defeat Quote | Post-Battle Quote |
|---|---|---|---|
| Weeping Pokey | WAAAAAAAH! I, Weeping Pokey, guard this 51st gate! Soon you will know the sadness of defeat! And I, Weeping Pokey, will know the empty sadness of victory! And I will cry vigorously! And you will see me cry and laugh at me...and your laugh enrages me! Now we fight! | EEEE...WAHWAHWAHWAH! | Wrathful tears blinded me... My weeping hands lost my sword... Such is my defeat... The righteous tears of the victor fly from your eyes, but I laugh at your sad joy! ...Sob... |
| Hammer Uncle | Interloper, you have come to the 52nd gate! And I, Hammer Uncle, guard it! When you are below, I lurk above! Leap above, and I plunge below! Like hammers from the sky, my blows will rain upon you! I am the hammer of justice! SMASH! | SMASH! | You have reminded me of myself in younger days, when I traveled with my brothers. Yes, we were brothers of the hammer, but long years have intervened. Yes, many hammer nephews and hammer nieces now... They are the hammer future. They must hammer on... |
| Squatting Toad | Look upon Squatting Toad! The 53rd gate is my ward! My strength has no rival! I lift with my legs, and never with my lower back! Never! Prepare for squatting! | HRRRRRRRRRRGH! | Your skills amaze me! Today, it is you who has squatted best! My joints have grown stiff with idleness! I am shamed! Soon I must limber up! Begone from me! |
| Ageless Goomba | Welcome to you... You have come upon Ageless Goomba... Guardian of the 54th gate. Time casts no shadow on me. Stomping boot and flaming flower hold no fear, either! You will learn to fear my relentless perambulation! GOOMBAAA! | GOOMBAAAAAARGH! | I have not been flattened. Always will I lurk, creeping slowly forward like time itself. One day, when your will falters, I will be upon you! But for now, go from here! |
| The Negative One | It is about time you arrive! As usual I am forced to wait! Such is my life! I am The Negative One, guard of the 55th gate and warrior who fate laughs at! My life is misfortune! My wishes always perish! And so someone must pay! IT IS YOU! | Defeat. Why does this not surprise me... | Being crushed at your hands is but one more affirmation that fate loathes me. Why must I always suffer so? Do I not deserve better? Will I never find solace? |
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