List of Morton quotes

This is a list of quotes by Morton.

Games

Mario is Missing! (PC, unused)

• "Go away, plumber's helper! The only place you'll see your brother's face is on a milk carton!"
• "Want an onion bagel with that lock? It's the only lock you'll ever see!"
• "Nanny, nanny, nanny! Luigi fell on his fanny! Try again some other time, pipe cleaner!"
• "Still burning to find silly ol' Mario? Huh? Oh no! It's a fire flower! Yikes!"
• "The gold truth of the matter is, this turtle is only afraid of one thing, and it's one thing you haven't got, buddy! Fire flowers!"

Mario Kart 8

• "Morton!" (when unlocked)
• "Wah-hoo! Yeah!" (winning 1st place)
• "Hey! All right!" (getting 2nd - 6th place)

Paper Mario: Color Splash

• "MORTON! WHY MORTON HERE?"
• "OH YEAH! DA BIGGUN! BIG OL' PAIN STAR! NEED FIND BIG PAIN STAR!"
• "FIND RIGHT NOW, AND FASTLY!"
• "HELLO!"
• "BIG LARGE PAIN STAR!"
• "ME MORTON!"
• "NO PAIN STAR FOR DA MARIO!"
• "MORTON FIND PAIN STAR!"
• "BAD MARIO FIND PAIN STAR! BUT MORTON FIND IT MORE! MORE MORTON'S! MORE TONS! MORTON CRUSH MARIO!"
• "MARIO COME BACK! BACK FOR MORE TONS!"
• "MORTON STRONG! MORTON MORE TONS!"
• "BRING ME PEDAL STOOL!"
• "MORTON ON PEDAL STOOL! LOOK NOW! MORTON SAFE HERE!"
• "HIGH PLACE BROKE... LOW PLACE SCARY."
• "MORTON IS FIRED!"
• "HOT MALLET!"
• "REPLICA TOO PUNY!"
• "FIRE... BROKEN? MALLET GONE... JUST STICK..."
• "EAT STICK!!"
• "MORTON... MORTON LOSE. BAD MARIO GET PAIN STAR... MASTER ORDER MORTON... SAY GO GET PAIN STAR... MORTON? MORE LIKE... LESTON."

Mario & Luigi series

Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam

• "Bwahahaha! I’m gonna stomp ‘em silly."
• "That’s it! The fun and games are over!"
• "Peach’s Castle is the worst! Peach’s Castle smashed to dust! That don’t rhyme and I don’t care! Master Bowser’s harsh but fair!"
• "You couldn't possibly counter this! Not even the three of you together!"
• "Guhuhuh... I can't wait to watch this thing destroy Peach's Castle..."
• "How ya like that? I messed up your battle cards! Go ahead and cry about it. I'll wait!"
• "Gah! I thought for sure that'd make you cry!"
• "Lemmy! What are you doing? This is just getting started!"
• "What did you do to Iggy and Lemmy? I must avenge them!"
• "Guhuhuh... I knew I could beat ya!"
• "Forgive us…Bowser. I mean…Master Bowser…"

Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions

• "COME HERE NOW."
• "STOP HIM."
• "GRAB TOAD."
• "I’M GRABBING TOAD. YOU GUYS SMASH THOSE OTHER GUYS."
• "MINIONS AND TOADS DO WHAT MORTON TELLS THEM. BAHAHAHAHA. THIS IS MORTON’S TOWN NOW. LORD FAWFUL’S TOWN TOO."
• "SMART MINIONS JOIN ME. DUMMIES GET BEAT UP."
• "MORTON HITS BLOCK NOW!"
• "BWAHA! COME HERE!"
• "MORTON…ME…I…"
• "WHAT HAPPEN TO BOWSER?!"

Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story + Bowser Jr.'s Journey

• "MORTON GUARD LORD JUNIOR."
• "GET DA CURE. CURE DA BLORBS!"
• "JUNIOR. MORTON HERE!"
• "MORTON GIVE FOOD. EAT! EAT NOW!"
• "…MORTON COOK WITH FIRE. MORTON STRONG! BUT FIRE MORE STRONG."
• "THOSE MINION CAPTAINS! ORIGINAL CAPTAINS."
• "SMALL MINIONS, BIG HEARTS! CAPTAIN MINIONS EVEN SAVE LARGE BOWSER ONE TIME!"
• "NO WORRY, SMALL BOWSER! MORTON BELIEVE IN YOU!"
• "MORTON STRONG LIKE WALL! …BUT EVEN WALL FALL DOWN SOMETIME."
• "…OH. MORTON SORRY."
• "LORD JUNIOR. MORTON FORGOT. BROUGHT THIS FOR YOU."
• "SORRY AGAIN."
• "MORTON…STAY WITH LORD JUNIOR."
• "MORTON NOT KNOW…"
• "BULB IS…ROUND."
• "IGGY SAFE. IGGY NOT HURT."
• "IGGY NOT HURT. IGGY COME HOME…"
• "YOU! YOU ARE ONION?"
• "GIVE MORTON ONION. NOW!"
• "MORTON NEED ONION."
• "GIVE TO MORTON!"
• "SMALL BOWSER BATTLE HIM. SMALL BOWSER NOT LOSE. SMALL BOWSER GET ONION."
• "ONION! YOU GIVE! PROMISE IS PROMISE."
• "WHERE OTHER KOOPALINGS? MORTON WORRY."
• "MMM. SWEET…"
• "YUMMY…IN MORTON TUMMY…"
• "LORD JUNIOR. RUN…NOW…"
• "LORD…JUNIOR…"
• "…MORTON SLEEP?"
• "MASTER…EYES LEAK? STOP LEAK, MASTER!"
• "MORTON NOT CRY."
• "MORTON FEEL FEELINGS TOO."
• "BUT…JUNIOR WISE? MORTON NOT KNOW."
• "MORTON CRUSH FAKE MORTON!"
• "MORTON PROTECT SMALL BOWSER!" (before the start of a level)
• "MORTON PROTECT!" (before the start of a level if no troops are added or when Shield is used)
• "...MORTON LEAVE NOW." (Shield, after deciding to stop shielding)
• "MORTON LOSE...HURT. MORE LIKE...HURTON." (Shield, if his HP reaches 0)
• "MORTON HAVE LAST GASP!" (Shield, if his HP reaches 0)
• "THWOMP STOMP!" (Thwomp Thump)

Television shows

The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3

Sneaky Lying Cheating Giant Ninja Koopas

• "That's Prince Hugo the Huge, the new ruler of Giant Land! They say, he's the biggest, toughest, bravest prince ever! Even for a giant, he's a giant."
• "I've seen some ugly raccoons in my day, but these are the worst!"
• "Wrong, ya fuzzy fungus! I'll make THEM sorry!"
• "I love being a Koopa!"
• "You're a royal pain! And we need your cage for our prisoners!"
• "Don't shut that door! We gotta put Mario in there!"
• "Big deal! We've still got Prince Hugo and three more prisoners than King Daddy sent us for!"
• "Couldn't we stay like this and capture a couple more kingdoms?"
• "{*with Bully, Cheatsy, and Kooky*} Yaaaaay! ♪ For he's a jolly bad Koopa, for he's a jolly bad Koopa! ♪"
• "{*with Bully, Cheatsy, and Kooky*} ♪ For he's a jolly bad Koopa, which nobody can deny! ♪"
• "So, what kingdom are we Giant Ninja Koopas gonna conquer first?"
• "Yow! Yaaaah!"

Reptiles in the Rose Garden

• "Give that brat a country and she finally stops nagging!"

Dadzilla

• "What's it?"
• "Yeah! Someone magnificent, like we are! Let’s go find him!"
• "It's THIS way to Hollywood!"
• "Wow! Look at that! He's so strong!"
• "{*with Kootie Pie*} He's our real dad!"
• "Don't worry, Dad! Our magic wands will make you well in no time!"
• "Yowza! You showed him!"
• "It's Big Mouth and Kootie Pie! Remember? You put us up for adoption!"
• "But first, we want a car! A big, bad, convertible!"
• "Yeah! We want a streeeeeeeeetch limo!"
• "Yeah! We want our clawprints in the Walk of Fame!"
• "The Mario Bros.!"
• "With those budinskis out of the way, we could take Hollywood by storm!"
• "Okay, Dad! Now it's YOUR turn!"
• "Ya can't sleep now, Dad!"
• "DAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!"
• "Yeah! Show him who's boss! Heh heh heh!"
• "{*with Kootie Pie*} We HATE naps!"
• "{*with Kootie Pie*} We HATE chores!"
• "Yeah! They're even bossier than good ol' bad King Dad!"
• "Yeah! Anything's better than this!"

Misadventure of Mighty Plumber

• "Hey look! King Dad's doing aerobic exercises and getting in shape with more madness! Great idea!"
• "Hey, King Pop! What are we havin' a tantrum about?"

A Toadally Magical Adventure

• "HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! The wand is as good as ours!"
• "Oh yeah?! Who says?!"

Do the Koopa

• "Besky blumbers? What are besky blumbers?"
• "These Marios are tough! Whadda ya think they're up to? The nerve of these guys, sneaking into Dark Land, reminds me of-"
• "They have a map, to the Doom Dancer Music Box!"
• "No, it must be true! If Mario gets it, we'll be doomed to be good for good! He'll control everything! We'll be dancing to his doom! We'll be all tap-dancing at his tip!"
• "Yeah! Let's do an ambush..."
• "Augh! Not my favorite string! It's invaluable! Oh, there's a story behind this string. Our great grand-Koopa mama-"
• "I got it! I got it! Big Mouth Koopa calls for the ball! The crowd (imitates crowd) roars!"
• "Ohhh! Bully, brother! Old pal, that thing doesn't work on me and Cheatsy, does it? I mean, you wouldn't make your favorite brother dance, would ya?"
• "Yeah! Dancing lessons are expensive!"
• "I'll help you, daddy dearest!"

Mush-Rumors

• "Aliens! Billions of them, Kootie Pie!"

Crimes R Us

• "It's curtains for you creeps! You're history, you've had it, you're done for, it's ALL over, we win, time's up, your clock is cleaned! The sun has set, the fat lady has sung, the cheese has molded, the Super Mario Bros. are no more!"
• "So you won't be lonely! Here's a little something to keep you company!"
• "Stick ‘em up! Give me your purse! I’m a real bad robber Koopa! I’m also a baaaaaaad dancer!"
• "Hey, Kootie Pie, stick ‘em up! Put your hands in the air! I’m a thief and a crook!"
• "Stick 'em up! This Ptooie Plant is loaded!"

7 Continents for 7 Koopas

• "I made an Abominable Snowkoopa!"

Recycled Koopa

• "See, King Dad? See? We cleaned up all the trash, and I did the most!"
• "Look at all this neat stuff you got, King Dad! We used to have a lot of these stuff like this, but we got rid of it! We-"
• "...if ya want something done..."
• "Yeah, and they're gonna pick YOU to be our leader! Isn't that always the way? Treat people lousy, dump garbage on their heads and they'll follow you anywhere- Yeah, I heard him! And YOU hear him? You're a lazy bully, Bully! If you don't help us, I'M gonna tattle!"

Miscellaneous

• "Trash problem! Trash problem! We have took all the toxic Koopa trash, and dumped it into a Warp Zone! It's horrific! Right on the Mario Bros.'s heads! What a way to conquer the world! Ahahahaha!" - NBC promo for "Recycled Koopa"

Super Mario World

Send in the Clown

• "Not here, Kootie Pie! Use your head for something BESIDES makeup! Those faucet fixers might see us! They got eyes everywhere! They got ears too, so keep it quiet! We don't want THEM at our circus, we just want Cave People like Papa Koopa said! Then the more, the better! And furthermore-"
• "Come one and come all, to the greatest circus of them all! The Koopaling Bros. Circus! Greatest show in Dinosaur Land! Because of me, Big Mouth, the greatest ringleader of them all! Master tamer of dangerous dinosaurs! Master of the amazing Mechkoopas! Lord of all he surveys! Purveyor of-"
• "Oh, the brave klutzes! I am not part of your stupid act! I am the ringmaster! The greatest ringmaster of them at the greatest circus of them all! I am your fearless leader! Your master of hope and ceremony! I am to be treated with-"
• "...Respect!"
• "I don't! Come back here, you poor silliness perambulator! You negligent nudnik! You-"
• "On to the next act, folks! There'll be lots of audience participation! Fun for all, and all for fun! The time of your life! The LAST time of your life!"
• "Have a good time! Have a nice day! Sayonara! So long! Ciao! See ya later, alligator! Ciao! Bon voyage! Hasta la vista! Be sure to write!"

Rock TV

• "Welcome to All-Star Prehistoric Wrestling! A splendid gladiatorial spectacle! A fight to the finish! In this corner, in the pink and purple trunks, with the orange ruffles, weighing in at 90,000 pounds each, the totally-terrible toothsome, titanic, thunderous, thumping, throttling, towering, thrusting, threatening, top-heavy, top-notch, top-flight, tip-toe, tip-top, top-tip-"
• "Wait! I am just about to finish! Finish big... BIG finish! In this corner, the Tyrannosaurus Twins! A totally terrific twosome, a terrifying, tenacious, two-fisted-"
• "Thank you! Thank you! And in this corner, from the bucolic borough of Brooklyn, in that rollicking Real World, these two fat fumbling, faucet-fixing freaks, those forever foolish fur-brained, fishhead...fishhead? Uh, foolish, flabby, fudge-eating- Yaaaaahhhhhh!!!"

The Yoshi Shuffle

• "Yooooouuuu're looking live at the Koopa Dome, where football is played the way it was meant to be played, in a dark, damp, and dusty dungeon!"
• "Welcome to today's game, featuring those bad boys of the Neon Castle, The Koopa Karcass Krunchers, vs. the Dome-Heads: Mario and Yoshi, who by the way don't seem to have any fans of attendance!"
• "And before I forget, we would like to extend a SPECIAL welcome to Mario's brother, Luigi! Without his presence as a football, none of this would be possible!"
• "Today's game will be refereed by honest Cheatsy Koopa! It's not easy being a referee... Sure, Cheatsy might let a lotta penalties go unnoticed, but ya HAVE to let them play the game! Cheatsy is so unbiased that, in a gesture of good will, Mario and Yoshi will start the play!"
• "So it'll be first and ten, but it might as well be fourth and long because it's now or never, it's do or die, and it's sudden death if that egg breaks open! Boy, that missed extra point sure looms big now! All the excitement's building now folks and-"

Print

Super Mario Adventures

Issue 37

• "Double cheese, too!"

Miscellaneous

• 「フムフム。結構やってくれるじゃんか。マリオに変身されると、どーも手強くなりそうだ。よし、オヤジに報告だ。」 ("Hmmm. You're pretty tricky. If Mario transforms himself, he'll be difficult to beat. Well, I'll report this to our dad.") - Super Mario Bros. 3 Japanese instruction booklet, page 8.
• "Grrrr. You're pretty tricky. With all of these new moves, Mario will be difficult to beat. I'd better report this to our Dad!" - Super Mario Bros. 3 English instruction booklet, page 9.
• "Grrr... Mario, I ain't feelin' too good today. My hair looks terrible and I can't be bothered wit' you. So come over here where I can blast you wit' dis here wand. (We'll just see if you can stomp me on the head three times. I may be slower than little Larry, but I'm faster on the draw.)" - The Super Mario Bros. 3 Nintendo Power Strategy Guide