The 'Shroom:Issue LXVIII
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| Issue LXVIII | November 17th, 2012 | About |
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STAFF SECTIONS
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SUB-TEAMS
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MAIN SECTIONS
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Director's Notes
Greetings to those that read this paper! This month, I do have some announcements to make, so please be sure to read.
Next month is the December 2012 issue. This means that the Holiday Season is amongst us, which also means that we need to celebrate! Henceforth, next month's issue will be a Special Issue. There will be fun events planned, special sections written, and much more! It will be an issue that will end 2012 on a great note, and will hopefully lead into a new year of prosperity and advancements for The 'Shroom. Be sure to check out the forum board for any new developments that might be announced about the issue.
There will be a chat party to celebrate the release of the Holiday Issue. It will begin at 12 PM EST on December 22nd, 2012 in #mwshroom (The 'Shroom's official chat channel), and each section will be released throughout the hours that follow. A more detailed schedule with timeslots and everything will be included in next month's issue. I hope for this to be an exciting and orderly function. The rules of #mwchat will be adopted for this party and will be enforced upon those that do not wish to behave in a proper manner.
The annual Director Election is coming up next month! For those who may not know, the individual that holds the position of Director of The 'Shroom is elected every December— candidates file their campaigns on the election article, attend sessions in which the candidates discuss their plans with each other and the voters, and the person with the most votes at the time that the January issue is released wins! If you are considering running for the position, you should probably start preparing your campaign, arrange to have a runningmate should you opt to do so, and coming up with plans that you want to implement in the following year. The election will run from December 22nd, 2012 through January 19th, 2013. Directorial Addresses should also be prepared for the January issue in the case that you are the winning candidate.
Also, I would like to announce that there have been new policies that Porplemontage (talk) is planning on implementing on The 'Shroom. It will affect certain long pages and will require for there to be some changes. To quote Porplemontage himself:
One thing we're beginning to crackdown on is super-long pages. It's why this policy was created for the main namespace, and changes need to be applied to the long issue pages of The 'Shroom.
To quickly solve this, I would take the contents of The 'Shroom:Main Page and make that how the issue pages are handled— linking to each individual section. If you guys want to do some restructuring/combining to end-up with less pages, that's fine. To give you an idea when combining pages, you probably don't want the result to be longer than The 'Shroom:Issue LXVI/Critic Corner.
Updates
- The 'Shroom:Issue ???? - How the Shroom main page is now.
- The 'Shroom:Main Page - Could use something more-distinct from the issue pages, but otherwise: {{The 'Shroom:Issue {{The 'Shroom:ShroomIssue}}}}
- The 'Shroom:Single - Gone/redirect to Shroom main page.
The changes do not have to be exactly along those lines, but the main point is that changes need to be made with the Single Page and the Issue Pages in order to comply with the policy. And after discussing it with him, the Core Staff has determined a timetable for implementation that will allow for the candidates in the Director Election to propose their own ideas on this topic! The timetable for the implementation of this new policy is as follows:
- December 22nd, 2012 - January 19th, 2013: Director Election candidates should come up with a plan for the Issue Pages and Single Page that fits in with the new policy,
- January 19th, 2013 - April 2013 Issue: The candidate that wins the Director title should work with their staff to plan the changes in question and come up with a plan to implement them,
- April 2013 Issue: The new designs and plans must be implemented, or the default plan that Porplemontage proposed will be implemented.
That said, should you plan to be a candidate in the Director Election, be sure to think of what you will propose to do with the Issue Pages. It is a very important topic that will likely generate a good amount of interest from the voters this year.
And that is all I have to say this time around. Please check back on December 22nd, 2012 for the Special Holiday Issue, and be sure to join us in #mwshroom (applet · Mibbit) at 12 PM EST on that day for the chat party! It will be a blast!
Until next month,
Section of the Month
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HI, readers! I'm your magnificent Statistics Manager, Tucayo, and I am once again here to bring you the results of the Main Team SOTM Poll. We had 30 votes in the Main Team poll, which is 2 more than last month and a record for this poll! However, the average for all polls dropped by 12 points, going down to an average 55 votes per poll. Now to the Main Team SOTM results... *drumroll*
Wait, the suspense is pointless, you already saw the winner in the table at the beginning of the section. The winner, for the fourth time in a row, is our historian-in-turn, Toad85 (talk). In last month's visit to the Toad Zone, Toad85 told us more about the handheld wars, and how Nintendo's victory back then shaped the handheld gaming industry as we know it. Oh, and this was Toad85's 12th 'Shroom section, so happy anniversary to him!
Since our vote average was way lower than last month's, I want to strongly invite you to vote for the best sections, all it takes is a click. For the Sub-Team SOTM, you'll find the polls at the end of each sub-team, you'll find the Main Team poll below. So please, remember to vote to acknowledge those writers who deserve it!
Fake News
Editorial
Hey guys, it's MCD, and welcome again to the REAL News. What, you were expecting the Fake News? Get with the times, old timer. Fake News is so last year, Real News is what everybody's* talking about. So let's see what's been going on this month with the real news.
Obama won something
Obama won the presidential election this month against Mitt Romney, meaning he'll be spending another month or so in the White House. If the world wasn't ending, it would be four years.
MarioWiki Presidential Election
Porplemontage lost this very badly.
The D Key
Porplemontage lost this very badly as well.
That's about all the stories I can remember. Thanks for reading the real news. Join us next month when maybe we'll be able to afford headers.
*by "everybody" i mean "maybe tucayo?" ([21:34] <Tucayo> Can we have a hot weather forecaster? If we can, I'm in)
Since some people want Fake News, you can have these sections some people sent to me. Who are these people, you ask? I DON'T KNOW!
*bursts into tears*
But we do have the small matter of the Section of the Month to deal with - and, this month, it went to Koopa K (talk)'s Shop Scout with 25 votes. Koohitsu's Monthly Inquisition came close behind (23 votes), and that was followed by Toadbert's Ads, with 19 votes. Congratulations!
Written by: Marshal Dan Troop (talk)
“This just in from the Mushroom Kingdom: The long forgotten King Toadstool has returned. For more on this incredible development we go live to Scoops McShroom”
“Well folks, what started as a normal day quickly turned exciting when after 30 years a door opened and out walked King Toadstool. This quickly sparked shock from those who were at the castle. And while I weren’t able to reach the King himself for comments, I was able to talk to those who saw him"
“It was amazing! I mean here I am just guarding the vault and then out steps the King Himself! Hell, I didn’t even know we had a king” said the Vault Guard.
“I was just standing there cooking when a man wearing a big crown asked me how I was doing” said Chef Torte.
“I couldn’t believe my eyes. I mean I, like most people, thought he was just a myth. I mean nobody had ever seen him so we always assumed that Princess Peach was in charge” said the King's Royal Adviser.
“So as you can see the King returning is very big news. But it does leave you questioning: Where has he been for all these years, and why hasn’t anybody seen him?” Scoops said.
“I can answer that”
“OMG the King Himself! Hello my majesty”
“Hello, kind sir”
“My liege, where have you been all these years?”
“I’ve been doing my job making sure this kingdom stays a float while my daughter gets kidnapped and plays Tennis”
“Oh…and there you have it folks from the King himself. Now back to the studio for sports with Jim Fungi”
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-
Oh, too long?
Hello, ladies and gents - it's Pryers on a Row, back with some more Travel Guide! I've been grounded - er, no, busy hunting stickers, so sorry for being late to Cirque de humus or whatever that show is called. Because the Fake News is the greatest show on earth!
Oh, whatever. Today, I'll be reviewing the Bouquet Gardens! This flowery grassland is filled with...flowers. When I made it to this blustery hill, I found a giant fan was blowing stuff all over the place. I was too lazy to shut it off, and I heard later that Mario shut it off anyways. Good ol' Mario.
The prices here to stay for the night are pretty expensive - a whopping nothing.
(Kersti: COINS ARE EASY TO GET NOWADAYS HOW CAN THAT BE A LOT)
However, the risks are low - unlike Plack Beach, you have a 98% chance of being attacked by a Goomba rather than a 99% chance of being attacked by a Toothy. And either way, the government blew up Plack Beach anyways. Apparently, there was a virus there.
Hah hah! Dr. Mario humor lol
Enough with the bad jokes. You can pull off stickers galore, and they're everywhere. No, seriously, EVERYWHERE! However, the stickers got stuck to me and I had to find the fan to blow them off.
So, that's it for Travel Guide! See you next time, where we explore further into Sticker Star, but I'm still on World 1.
Written by: 
Chivi-chivik (talk)
Hi everybody! Your hostess, Chivi-chivik, is back! And this is Cooking Guide, where we teach you how to cook excellent dishes!!
So, let’s go!
This time I went to Saffron’s. Long time I don’t go to see her.
Me: Hi!!
Saffron: Good morning! How you’ve been?
Me: *tired* The last month I had plenty of important things to do... Now I’m fine, I guess...
Saffron: Okay then.
Me: Do you know what we can cook? I didn’t come here with an idea...
Saffron: Let me think... *looks in her closets* I know! We can make some Choco Fruit!
Me: And... what is that?
Saffron: Something so easy to make! For this we need a Peachy Peach or a Keel Mango and a Mild Cocoa Bean! I have some cocoa beans, do you have some fruit?
Me: I have a Peachy Peach.
Saffron: Great! Let’s begin: We need to melt the cocoa bean. For that, we’ll melt it in a water bath. So let’s take a saucepan and a metallic cup.
Me: *nods while writing down*
Saffron: The water bath is and easy thing! We just need to keep stirring the cocoa bean until we have a chocolate cream.
- -o._.o-* After some minutes... .o-*-o._.o-*
Saffron: Okay, we’ve got a delicius chocolate cream! Let’s leave it in the pan and let’s take the Peachy Peach, we must cut it into pieces. *begins to cut*
Me: *keeps writing down*
Saffron: Now let’s put all the pieces into the cream *puts them in*. Let’s stir them until they’re all covered by chocolate and then let’s put them on a plate. And you’re done!
Me: Oh cool!! *takes one of the pieces and tastes it* Amazingly delicious!!!
Saffron: I knew you’d like it!
Me: Thanks for cooking this dish for our readers!
Saffron: *smiling* You’re so welcome.
Summary:
Choco Fruit
Ingredients: A Mild Cocoa Bean, and a Peachy Peach or a Keel Mango.
- Melt the Mild Cocoa Bean in a water bath.
- Cut the fruit in pieces and put them into the resulting chocolate cream.
- Put that on a plate.
Effects: Restores HP.
Thanks for being here reading, and until next Cooking Guide!!
Written by: Toadbert101 (talk)
Hello, readers! McZaky29 here with the November edition of Sports Report!
Today I’m going to take you inside some good ‘ol basketball. The matchup this time was between the Moleville Moles and the Bean Valley Stingers (the game taking place in Moleville). The Moles got possession first, driving to the net for a lay-up, taking the first lead 2-0. Things went downhill from there, though. The Stingers turned things around full circle, quickly amounting to a 20-2 lead with still 5 minutes in the first quarter. The Moles would knock down a 3-pointer, and the Stingers would get some more points in many ways, taking a 29-5 lead at the end of the first. Moleville took advantage of their first possession of the second quarter, pounding down a slam dunk. The Moles stole the ball from the Stingers before they could score again, swishing a teardrop 3. Moleville held Bean Valley only to 5 points in the second quarter, tying it up at 34 going into halftime. That’s when things got out of hand.
The Moles, once again, drove straight to the net first thing of the half. However, it bounced off the rim, with Bean Valley recovering and going all the way to the other end of the court to take the lead back. When Moleville tried to score, a pass to the Moles point guard was intercepted and turned into 3 Bean Valley points. The Stingers continued to rack up points constantly, outscoring The Moleville Moles 58-7 in the second half. Bean Valley won by a final tally of 92-41 in the season opener of the basketball season, which is likely a sign of good things to come, despite Moleville ending last season with a 1-81 record. Well, that’s all for this month! Come back next time for more heated rivalries and heart-stopping games. McZaky29, signing off.
We Interrupt your Clearly Unnecessary Program for this Weather Forecast! Yay!
Hey Marioverse! There may be some cool fronts coming your way! Oh yes!
- In Cool, Cool Mountain, even the little penguins may be getting chilly this November! Be sure to bulk up or fall into unsuspecting attics that just happen to be by a cliff!
- In Snowman's Land you're really in for a treat! The water is now very, very cold! Don't jump in or you'll be sure to lose your lives!
- In Sherbet Land, watch out for gigantic shy guys and ice blocks with eyes. They're just so out to get you.
Ah, but you lucky ducks, or bullies in some aspects, in the southern regions are staying very nice and warm!
- Lethal Lava Land. Is it even possible to freeze lava? Regardless, Bowser's minions are keeping the thermal region very warm indeed. (We aren't responsible for loss of postcards or appendages)
- Bob-Omb Battlefield is NOT feeling the results of Marioverse's latest ice-cool phenomenon, El Pinguino! Rather, there seems to be a La Pinguina effect caused by the heated tension between the Red Alliance Bob-Omb army and the Black Bob-Ombs. (Again, no sudden head loss or sudden desire to smash red floating blocks are not our responsibility)
And then for you indecisive Marioversers, we have that one place...
- Yoshi's Island in the Smash Bros Brawl region, is suffering from lack of ideas. You will be seeing both El Pinguino and La Pinguina effects, creating a parallel/paradox region of alternating seasons. (Sudden house destruction by large apes or muscular men screaming about punching falcons are not our fault or responsibility)
That's all for this broadcast. Now back to your meaningless regular programming!
HI, curious readers! I'm your wild Statistics Manager, Tucayo, and welcome to Ask Tucayo! This month I got six questions, thanks to everyone who submitted a question, I am happy with this outcome. If you didn't submit a question (or if you want to submit another one), just send me a PM (magical thing, PM's) and I'll answer it on the next issue!
Let's get to work; this month's first two questions come from Bowser45 who asks:
- What is your favorite court from Mario Hoops 3 on 3?
- Hello there! Oh good Poochy, it's been ages since I last played 3-on3, but I indeed remember my favorite courses. Yes, courses, there are two courses I really like and those are Jr. Street and Rainbow Ship. I love the first one because its game mechanic differs from the rest of the courses, and the slots add a nice touch of randomness and luck (well, the Mario games are filled with those, but whatever). Now on to Rainbow Ship, I love that one because it's simply majestic. It looks so grand and so luxurious. Also, here's where you face Ninja, Black Mage and White Mage, so that makes me like it even more.
- My
enemyfriend tucayo, - Do you eat pie,if you do what is your favorite kind?
- I do eat pie. Honestly, who wouldn't? I haven't tried many kinds, but I love one my mom makes, it's a banana and cajeta (it's a Mexican confection) pie. I also like any pie that involves chocolate.
Good ol' Nabber (or maybe not so ol') asks:
- What is your opinion on stray balloons?
- They bring chaos and despair into this world and are a threat to international security, and should be dealt with accordingly.
Next we have Pyro who asks:
- What's your favorite Pokémon?
Magikarp!It's gotta be a fire one, I love fire. I have to admit, I'm only familiar with Gen I and II Pokémons, so that's like what, less than half of them? I'd go with either Arcanine, since he's like this awesome lion/dog fiery beast, and those are three things I love; or Squirtle, not a fire one, I know, but he's simply awesome.
We also have marioman1213 who wants to know:
- Who is your best Super Smash Bros. Brawl character?
- Well, my favorite one is Pit. I don't even know why, I just remember visiting the Super Smash Bros. Dojo every day (god, that was awesome) and Pit was the first newcomer they announced; he had a bow that could split into two blades, he could fly and he had a shield that could reflect even the strongest projectiles, so I immediately liked him. Wait, I just realized you asked for my best character... Heh, I should pay more attention. Well, that was a nice story, wasn't it? Anyway, my best character is either Fox McCloud or Wolf O'Donnell. Falco is the same thing, I know, but he's not up there with Fox and Wolf. I usually choose a character at random, but when I want to beat someone I go to Fox or Wolf.
Last but not least, Pokemon Trainer Nate asks:
- what is your favorite type of milk?
- I love milk, my favorite type is chocolate milk, no doubts. Especially Borden's. I am a picky guy when it comes to milk, though. I don't like low fat, hot, skimmed, semi skimmed, 1% fat or soy milk. Basically only whole milk.
That's all for this month, if you have more questions, just send them to me! BYE and have a nice November!
Fun Stuff
Director Notes
by Gamefreak75 (talk) This is a sentence. Why are you reading this?
Congrats to Freakworld (talk) and Marshal Dan Troop (talk), who now write for both the Guess that Game and Guess Who Section!
Also, congratulations for General bob-omb (talk) for winning section of the month for his Hiding Koopa section.
Join me next month for some great stuff.
Mystery Images
Hey, I just found out this is my 100th Fun Stuff section! Enjoy it.
Trivia
by Marshal Dan Troop (talk)
Did you know that…:
- Super Mario Bros. was originally going to be a shooter?
- That K. Lumsy is actually King K. Rool’s brother?
- That Spines often times replace Shellcreepers in the remakes of Mario Bros. so that people wouldn't mistake the Shellcreepers for Koopa Troopas and jump on them?
- That despite having the last name Kong, Funky Kong is not related to Donkey Kong?
- That King K. Rool built the Robot KAOS out of his wives' best pots and pans?
Guess Who
By Marshal Dan Troop (talk)
- This character has been emotional in the past.
- This character has played baseball, tennis, and kart racing with its past self.
- This character is one of the few characters with both a first and last name.
- This character made lotsa Spaghetti.
| Click to find answers! | |
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By Freakworld (talk) Rules: You'll get 5 Hints on a character, which should be used to guess the answer. This character can be from any part of the Mario, Wario and Donkey Kong Universe. If you scroll down you'll see a little Spoiler box, hiding the answer.
- This character hasn't yet appeared in any game of the regular Mario series (includes spin-offs).
- This character loves music.
- This character's existence began on a portable console.
- This character's levels are mostly sports themed.
- He/She is going to appear in an upcoming Wii U game.
| Answer? | |
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Jimmy T. (WarioWare) | |
Quiz
By Post-Damage Invincibility (talk)
Good evening (or whatever it is where you are) fellow non-followers of that crappy Call of Duty stuff! Super Mario Land 2 is twenty years old this month, believe it or not. And I highly doubt whether any other 'Shroom writer will write something to honor the great handheld marvel that introduced Wario. I hope I'm wrong, but by the time you are reading this, you will know. Enjoy Six Golden Questions to honor 6 Golden Coins.
- Name the item that drops down on screen when 100 enemies are bested.
- What item is needed to get the secret level in the Tree Zone?
- Mario needs Six Golden Coins to open up the door to his castle. On either side of the door is two columns that hold up the stone structure. The two statues that hold up the columns are of what two enemies?
- How many collapsing fish-skull platforms are in Mario's Castle?
- Active or inactive, how many giant Piranha Plant statues are in the castle?
- When Wario is ousted, Mario's castle magically transforms back to his decorative liking. A stone statue that looks like what appears above the door to his restored castle?
| Click to find answers! | |
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[[1]]
Guess that Game
By Marshal Dan Troop (talk)
- You cannot save this game.
- This game features a non Bowser final boss, who would appear in a later game.
- This game features Mario driving a submarine and airplane.
- This game does not take place in the Mushroom Kingdom.
- This game marks the debut of a major recurring character.
| Click to find answers! | |
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By Freakworld (talk)
Rules: Same as above, but now it's about games.
- In this game, Mario isn't a plumber, but he is also not a carpenter.
- This game has a sequel, but it never saw the day of light in America or PAL regions.
- This game has got 100 Levels.
- This game was one of the 3DS Ambassador games, released in 2011.
- This game also has a level editor mode (no Skyrim though).
| Click for the solution! | |
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Wrecking Crew | |
Word Search
By Gamefreak75 (talk)
I hope you had a spook-tastic time with the last word search! Here’s the answers to those of you who couldn’t find the time in your trick-or-treating schedule.
This Word Search is made up of fifteen random articles because I was too lazy to think of a theme. Next month’s word search will be themed, however.
Find the Differences
Edited:
Hiding Koopa
By General bob-omb (talk)
Mario is finally of on his papery adventure! and for some reason there are stickers everywhere! On the walls, on the floors, on enemies, behind bushes. Uh-oh, looks like one got stuck to that Koopa, better go peel it off... (and no, it's not the Para-Troopa)
Music & Artwork
Director's Notes (Smasher (talk))
Not much to say this month. Just want to say that Post-Damage Invincibility won Section of the Month for the October issue. Congratulations, PDI!
Alright, enjoy Music & Artwork and the rest of this month's issue.
Character Artwork of the Month (Rise Up Above It (talk))
Yes, back to the hand-drawn artworks. This is a group artwork but it displays one of the many talents of this month's character, the humble Chain Chomp. Some would have you think that it is their only talent, but you can ask them when you fail to survive the receiving end of a Chain Chomp's charge. They don't even require the presence of multiple plumbers to do so; it's second nature to them! Chain Chomps truly deserve this month's place! See you next time, readers/viewers/listeners!
Random Image of the Month (Paper Yoshi (talk))
Hello, fellow The 'Shroom readers, and welcome to November's Random Image of the Month!
This month's Random Image comes from Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story, one of the most popular Mario games for the Nintendo DS. It shows Bowser using one of his special field moves, the Sliding Punch.
Said move may be performed by punching normally using the 
button and holding the 
Control Pad in any direction. Bowser will then proceed to, as the move's name suggests, slide in that direction and punch anything in his way. Additionally, the Sliding Punch's impulse allows Bowser to cross ledges he would be unable to cross in his own.
P.S.: By the way, thanks everyone who voted for me in the October Music & Artwork Section of the Month poll!!
Music Factoid (Post-Damage Invincibility (talk))
Halloween may be over, but creepy Mario related stuff abounds. The Sunken Ghost Ship in Super Mario World has the usual Ghost House theme. But did you know that the the Sunken Ghost Ship is really one of Bowser's Airships of SMB3? Are the Boos there ghosts of the enemies from one of the Airships? Speaking of Boos, some of the eeriest music in Super Mario 64 is from Big Boo's Haunt. But did you know all of the Boo laughs are just Bowser's laughs sped up? Now you do know.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgNdL3ffMOU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HK0Mu8BkXwY
Sprite of the Month (FunkyK38 (talk))
Continuing my celebration of all things villainous, I bring you this sprite of Wario from Game and Watch Gallery 4: 
! Is he a villain? An anti-hero? A greedy, money-loving businessman? He is all three, I think, with special emphasis on that last one. But he is fun to play as, once in a while, if you can stand the smell and the ego. And you'll NEVER have to worry about being attacked by vampires, so he's got that going for him.
Pipe Plaza
Director's Notes (Paper Yoshi (talk))Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the November Issue of Pipe Plaza!! I have nothing special to say right now, expect for one little thing... The Pipe Plaza team needs more writers! There are currently three open spots, which are Featured, Projects Seeking Contributors and Anniversary Announcements, so please consider signing up for one of those. The process is really simple: all you have to do is send me a PM on the Super Mario Boards or leave a message in my talk page here in the Super Mario Wiki. I will then send you the application form, in which you must inform the position(s) you wish to sign up for, agree to the terms of writing for The 'Shroom and provide a demo for each section you want to write. The Core Staff will then proceed to review your application and decide if you're fit for the position(s). Section of the MonthLast month, the Section of the Month poll got a measly 19 votes. Feedback is highly appreciated in The 'Shroom, and that's not different for the Pipe Plaza, so please make sure you cast your votes in this issue's poll! The winner, with 10 votes (52.6% of the total) is... ...Upcoming Games, for the third time!!! The October Issue of Upcoming Games covered news on the Wii U, including specifications, prices and release dates for each region; and Nintendo's decision to make first-party retail Nintendo 3DS games, such as Mario Kart 7 or Star Fox 64 3D, available in the Nintendo eShop. The second-placed section was Community Report, written by Bop1996 (talk), with 4 votes (21%). Monthly Report, written by myself, Paper Yoshi (talk), got third place, with only 2 votes (10.5%). Well, that's all I wanted to say! Now go on and read this month's issue! Monthly Report (Paper Yoshi (talk))Hey, everyone, and welcome to this month's issue of Monthly Report! I don't really have anything to say regarding this section, so here are the wiki's statistics for September, October and November: (Credit goes to Stooben Rooben (talk) and Super Mario Bros. (talk) for the table coding. Stooben originally created it when writing this section back in Issues XXIII, XXV and XXVI, and SMB based his coding for Issues XXXIX, XL and XLI – which I am using in this issue – off of Stooben's coding.)
Community Report (Bop1996 (talk))Hello, welcome to November's Community Report. Policy Changes
Proposals
Proposals in Progress
Sitenotices
Promotions/Demotions
Forum Update (MrConcreteDonkey (talk)) Doesn't it look...somewhat edible? Hey, guys, and welcome to a very special Forum Update! Why is this a special Forum Update? Because, this month, I'll have been writing this section for a whole year! Time sure flies when you're Of course, you all realise I expect a gift for this, right? Anyway, enough of that, let's take a look at what's been happening on the forum in the last month. Top Stories The eighth rule of the Forum, Rule 8, has been updated. The new version of the rule is: "Show respect towards ALL members, no matter who they are. Do not insult, belittle, flame, or harass people, and don't bait them into flaming you. Don't be a troll. No racial slurs or any type of prejudicial comments." New Super Yoshi was banned for a month, for harassing other users. His ban expires around December 1st. MKGirlism (YamiHoshi) was banned for racist remarks. Her ban lasts for 14 days, and it ends on November 19th (contrary to what her avatar may tell you). Legault and ColonelKR's bans expired. Unfortunately for the latter, the thread he posted in a lot about the Mario movie was locked soon after his return. Finally, Waluigi has been elected President of the Super Mario Boards. Despite meddling by Mitt Romney, Porplemontage finished with about -47 votes. Special Annual Statistics In October, 602 topics were made. 33243 posts were made, which is the highest amount so far this year. 282 was the highest amount of people online at once, which has also been the highest amount this year! Yet, coincidentally, 29 new members joined, which is the lowest so far this year.
Blue signifies the user is at the same position as last month. Red signifies the user is at a lower position than last month. Bold signifies the user is a new entry to the top 10. Italics signify the user is banned. Mafia and Forum Games Currently ongoing Mafia games are Northern Verve's (SonicMario) Star Wars Mafia and Super Mario Bros'. (what do I do here with the apostrophe?!) a!lphab!et Mafia!, as well as the Mafia portion of Gir's (Pyro) Forum Game Triathlon. Currently ongoing Vote to Wins include Meowth's (Smasher) V2W: Forum's Choice IV, Doc Louis' (Magikrazy (talk)) V2W: Gamecube Games and Time Turner's (GreenDisaster (talk)) V2W: Video Game Characters. Other games that are ongoing include Phantom L's (Lily) User Big Brother 4, which is currently in Week 4, the most recent evictee being Monobear (Bop1996 (talk)), and The Undertaker's (GutsehMan (talk)) Vote to Redemption.
And that does it for my Forum Update...no, for my SUPER HYPER ULTRA ANNIVERSARY FORUM UPDATE Mk.II 2.0 57 9.24!! Thanks for reading, and see you next month! Tip of the Month (FunkyK38 (talk))When you are posting pictures in an article, always think about the size of your picture. If you are adding to a gallery, you do not have to enter a pixel size. Anything else, you do, including side illustrations and templates. If you make your picture in a template too big, it will stretch out the entire template, which will look bad. Bigger pictures in an article also stand out because they can sometimes displace to wording of the article, which can confuse readers or make them miss information they might be looking for. Always remember the pros vs. cons of image sizes. Smaller images are sharper, but harder to see. Bigger images are easy to see, but expanding many images too much will cause them to become pixelated and blurry. Sprites should not be expanded past their set size, because they are especially susceptible to pixelation. Mario Calendar (Paper Yoshi (talk))Hello, readers, and welcome to Mario Calendar! Once again, as we approach Black Friday and the Holiday Season as a whole, the list of games in this section only tends to get bigger and bigger. So, here are all the Mario, Yoshi, Donkey Kong and Wario games released in November:
And that's all for this month's issue! I hope you have enjoyed it! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Critic Corner
Director's Notes
Go away, I'm tired. I'm not dragging this out, so I'll say that Nabber (talk) resigned from his Mario reviews section due to his busy schedule and Hurricane Sandy, but he may be back sometime in the future. Marioguy1 (talk) has also resigned from Character Reviews on the count of his extremely busy schedule, so best of luck to both of them.
Critic Corner Section of the Month
Last month saw a three-way tie! I'm too tired to sarcastically care that no one likes my sections, so I'll just be professional and congratulate YoshiMonsta (talk), Marshal Dan Troop (talk) (Raven Effect), and Henry Tucayo Clay (talk) for winning the October Section of the Month! Keep up the good work, guys (except Tucayo, he's a guest writer and Mexican, thus not important).
Entertainment Section (YoshiMonsta (talk)) – 5 votes (%27.77)
Virtual Console Reviews (Marshal Dan Troop (talk)) – 5 votes (%27.77)
Book Reviews (Henry Tucayo Clay (talk)) – 5 votes (%27.77)
Marshal Dan Troop blows party bubbles for Milon's Secret Castle 2.
[read more]
Entertainment Section
This video is by Ninbuzz, it is called: Community Choice- Best Mario Kart Item and it reviews what people thought the five best Mario Kart item is throughout the games, and it gave a basic description of why the users picked what they picked.
Basically they stated that Spiny Shell, or Blue shell as it was called was 5th place. The Spiny Shell is slightly an evil weapon of sorts, it tracks down the user who made it into first and sends basically a homing Bob-bomb to go in. This Spiny Shell races surprisingly fast and makes the person in first wish he hadn't. This section of it contained information about why they picked it, though they gave little information about the downsides and advantages, some of the downsides are that the Spiny Shell hunts down and kills, which is good, but if the player goes down, so does it. In the Mario Kart: Double Dash the Spiny Shell would rather than hitting the user as it was falling it would go for another lap around the course before attacking.
In 4th place came lucky 7, created in Mario Kart: 7 which is basically a volley of 7 of the most common items, including a Bob-bomb, Red Shell, Green Shell, Mushroom, Star, Blooper, and a Banana peel. The reasons it was picked for second were that it was an item that contained valuable other items, though hard to control were fun to use either way. The 7's variety of items allowed good item placement choice, unless things get to rough and you get rushed, where 7 can be a haphazard, for when you are spamming the fire button you can accidentally do things you could endanger yourself with, such as throwing a Bomb-omb directly in front of yourself.
In 3rd place came Chain Chomp from Mario Kart: Double Dash, where as Baby Mario and Baby Luigi their special move is Chain Chomp, where that bounding mass of led bowls over anything in it's path. This only lasts for a few seconds and can be hindered by an item hitting the player trailing behind it. This is a smaller version of the obstacle Chain Chomps, and is prone to wild bursts, where it charged off the field bringing the player with it. This has an after effect, when the Chain Chomp escapes it charges forward without you for a certain period of time.
In second came Golden Mushroom, which was well liked for it's efficiency and unlimited amount of boosts until time runs out. The Golden Mushroom can be used to cut short cuts, take the lead, even avoid Blue Shells if used right. In battle mode, just like normal mushrooms, the Golden Mushroom can be used to take away somebody's balloons. Golden Mushrooms are the fastest way of getting around and having the freedom to take shortcuts.
And in 1st came Bullet Bill, who was somewhat of a surprise in Mario Kart: Wii where players loved to truck others in their path with this missile going at very high speeds. This was better than Chain Chomp because it had high control, and was not affected by other items. It is known for getting players to a considerably high place before letting go.
This is my 2nd edition of Entertainment Section and have a good day.
Virtual Console Reviews
Marshal Dan Troop (talk) (edited by RandomYoshi (talk) and Marshal's real life friend)
Last month, I reviewed the complicated historical simulator/real time strategy game known as Nobunaga’s Ambition. Well, this month I have decided to review a much simpler game, DoReMi Fantasy: Milon no Dokidoki Daibouken. Released by Hudson Soft in July 1996 for the Super Famicon increasing the amount of Wii points you have to use from the usual 800 points to 900 points; this game is the sequel to the confusing action puzzle game Milon's Secret Castle. Now, I know what you must be thinking, Milon's Secret Castle? But the guy who makes all those angry reviews said it was terrible." Yes, that game is probably terrible, but I wouldn't know because I refused it when a friend sent it to me as part of our "Whom can send the worst game to each other" game, but this game is much different, because while Milon's Secret Castle is a confusing mess, this game, which I shall now call Milon's Secret Castle 2, is a fun and simple platformer that fixes every problem that Milon’s Secret Castle had.
However, as soon as you start the game, you will notice something interesting; the game is in Japanese. This is because Hudson Soft decided to re-release this game without translating it, which is the first, and one of the only, real problems that I have with this game, because it appears that some characters give you hints when you talk to them, such as at the start of each world and near the very end you stop in a character's house and talk to them. But these hints will be lost on anybody who doesn't speak Japanese, which also means that most people will have no idea what the story is, so let me, and by me I mean Wikipedia, explain it. “Milon lives in the world of Hudson and a powerful wizard has stolen the 7 mighty musical items and Milon must travel through 7 worlds to stop him. So basically it’s your standard Platformer, and while the plot may sound ridiculous, it’s not a very big deal because most Platformers have rather ridiculous plots.”
Now, let's move on to the gameplay, and being that this is a platformer, it is very simple. Milon has two basic attacks: jumping on enemies, which stuns them and allows them to be used as platforms, and Bubbles. Yes, once again, Milon is relying on Bubbles to get the job done, but have no fear, because unlike in Milon's Secret Castle where the bubbles fire into the air at an angle, these bubbles fire straight ahead of you. Bubbles can also be used to destroy blocks which contain shirts, which represent your health and power-ups, such as bowling balls that destroy every enemy in their path and bubble gum that allows you to survive falling into a bottomless pit, and musical notes; collect 100 and you get an extra life. The levels are split into two different types: first, you have your normal platformer levels where the idea is to get to the goal while also looking out for flashing stars with musical notes, which are required to fight the boss in every world after world 1, and levels that are reminiscent of Milon's Secret Castle where you have to go through the level, avoiding obstacles while activating switches that open up new parts of the level in order to find a key that opens up the exit to the castle and allows you to go to the boss stage. What’s cool about the latter type of level, which always happen right before the boss, is that each one has its own element, such as one level that has switches that turn the lights on and off.
The controls in this game are rather smooth with everything doing what you would expect it to do. Pushing left on the D-Pad moves you left, pushing right makes you got right, up makes you climb ladders, and down makes you duck as well as climb down ladder. The Y button fires bubbles, and holding it while moving makes Milon run, while the B button jumps and allows him to float if he has a certain power up; it also gives him the ability to swim faster while in the water. Holding down the Y button causes Milon to do a Super Bubble attack which sends Bubbles in 5 different directions. Also, when at the map screen, pressing L allows you to go to worlds you have already beaten. And pressing select while in a level you've already beat allows you to leave the level, with all the items you've collected.
The graphics look nice and are rather cartoon-y and I personally like them, but whether or not you like them is a matter of personal preference.
The sound, however, is not very good, because it’s just not very notable. I mean, yes it generally fits the mood and sounds cheerful, but in some levels it switches pace to a more creepy song which I don’t really care for, because it seems out of place in such a cute and charming game.
Now, the last thing I want to mention is difficulty because it’s a well-known fact among those who've heard about Milon's Secret Castle that Milon's Secret Castle is difficult for all the wrong reasons, such as having no continues and being extremely confusing. But let me assure you that this game is much more forgiving, for starters, this game has unlimited continues, and whenever you use a continue you get to start at the level you left off at. This game also makes it easier to collect extra lives since it contains minigames, minigames that I don’t know how to play because the instructions are in Japanese, that give you extra lives and you can collect notes which give you an extra life if you get 100. Plus, this game gives you a health bar of sorts that is represented by the color of your shirt — when it is green you can take three hits, when it is blue two hits, and when it is red then you die if you get hit. Now, that’s not to say this game isn't hard, because it can be and I found myself using a lot of continues, especially against the bosses. As well as the fact that some levels have fake exits that make you start the level from the beginning.
Overall I think this game is a great platformer and well worth the 9 dollars it costs. Yes, the game has some flaws such as its length, the worlds aren't that big, it’s repetitive nature, and the fact that it isn't translated. But the good of this game far outweighs the bad and makes this game a blast to play with its smooth controls and fun levels and I think that it’s a tragedy that Hudson never released this game in America during the SNES's prime, but that point is now moot because you can now pick this game up for 9 dollars on the Virtual Console (and on a completely unrelated note, the fact that the hit platformer Super James Pond isn’t on the Virtual Console pisses me off because that was a great game). Sure, it might not be as memorable as Super Mario World, but it’s an overall great platformer that I think most would enjoy, final score 8/10.
Crocodile Style Reviews
| Dishonored | |||||||||
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| Developer | Arkane Studios | ||||||||
| Publisher | Bethesda Softworks | ||||||||
| Platform(s) | PlayStation 3, XBox 360, Windows | ||||||||
| Genres | Action role-playing game, stealth | ||||||||
| Rating(s) |
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| Available From | |||||||||
- Mature
- Eighteen years and older
- Eighteen years and older
- Fifteen years and older…Dishonored… You do know the British came first, right, Arkane? I don't care if that's what you title it in your own weirdo land of grease and white supremacy, but here in the paradise of crocs and beady hats we expect the correct British spelling. It's not like it's that hard to add the extra 'o' to the box-art; sure it'll cost you a bit of extra dosh, but you should've thought about that before you chose a name with two different English spellings. I always get bothered by this sort of regional naming since it always feels like my very existence is being called into question.
Whatever, Dishonored… ugh, that feels dirty… is an action role-playing game set in the ruined city of Dunwall, unique to all those other ruined cities for being steampunk. You play as the faceless, voiceless man with horrendous dress sense named Corvo Attano, the most trusted bodyguard of the empress before she almost immediately gets assassinated and her daughter gets kidnapped. Good luck at the next employee evaluation, Corvo! Anyway, he's framed for her death, but escapes the prison with help from a morally dubious resistance group who assist him to take his revenge, rescue the empress' daughter, and restore stability to the region. Except there's also a massive rat plague spreading across the country that threatens to kill everyone anyway, and no one bothers to ponder that Corvo may be a bit unhinged and trigger-happy from this experience, so I can't help but feel everyone in this game are simply failing to see the forest through all the toxic mutant trees.
Those of you actually care for what I have to say in this newsletter know that I bashed the E3 trailer of Dishonored for failing to explain anything about the game beyond being a gleeful murderfest, and while the game most certainly is that it's also a whole lot of other things, namely Thief and BioShock. OK that's not completely fair; it's also Deus Ex as well. Seriously, though, Dishonored resembles a Frankenstein of ideas from other popular releases, which normally I would reprimand or call unoriginal but in this case it actually works. It's like mixing a good cocktail; drinking each ingredient on its own is all well and good but it takes true skill to blend them all together into a concoction that tastes just as swell, if not even better, and I'll be damned if Arkane can't make a damn good drink.
It really does seem like Arkane spied on me and just took all the best parts of every game I love more than a giant ribbon-shaped pavlova. On full display are the sprawling, open-ended levels of Thief 2 that always give me a great big hard-on, each level with a rich variety in the paths and options of progressing and accomplishing all the missions that Deus Ex did before the sequels discovered that was too fun for anyone to bear. There's a somewhat unbalanced power-up system akin to BioShock wherein you collect ancient arcane runes to acquire magic powers of your choosing, ranging from an invisible dash move, to a berserker skill, to stopping time to give generically evil policeman wedgies.
Among the many strategies you can employ entail sneaking across the rooftops or sewers (both good ways to get yourself covered in shit), possessing fishes, dogs, or other people to sneak by guards and security systems, mercilessly slaughtering everyone with a stupider mask than you, or summoning a swarm of hungry rats to eat everything in their path like a serial killer pied piper. I of course went for the stealthy no-kill run, me being the incredible pussy I am, and the game pleasantly avoids the System Shock or Deus Ex: Human Revolution mistake of forcing you into combat-only boss fights; Dishonored doesn't really have boss fights so much as boss targets, as each level generally has one or two specific assassination targets that you can bring down in a variety of ways, whether that be through brute force, careful espionage, or even just revealing incriminating evidence on them.
While I'm mindlessly praising the game for encompassing all of my game fetishes, the Empire of the Isles has got to be one of the most detailed worlds I've ever seen in a recent triple-A video game. It was about the eighth book I nicked from some crazed survivors house that I realised a tremendous degree of effort and detail rarely seen outside of toy train factories was invested into making the Empire of Isles feel rich and teeming with life. There are clear definitions of the societal, political, and even economic structures of the empire; you can collect maps detailing all the other locations in the isles you'll never be able to visit; and several books follow the progression of the rat plague and the political unrest leading up to the current events. This is pretty much the standard for Bethesda games, sure, but here it's actually presented in a manner easily understood for people who don't have 100 hours of cheeto-fueled delight every week to invest into reading every last bit of literature in the game.
Just so I don't completely spoil that Dishonored will be in my top five games of the year list, and to maintain journalistic integrity so it doesn't seem like I'm ignoring the bad on the count of the game catering to everything I like in my video games, let's actually get to the negative criticism. The game is certainly way too easy, quick-save being readily available to you if you have to sneak past a steam-powered AT-ST or are a complete wimp, and all the guards seem to have been trained at FOXHOUND since they're always too quick to dismiss any suspicious activity as the result of wind or rats even whilst knowing a highly trained supernatural assassin is on the loose. The nature of the upgrade system somewhat shoots specialisation in the leg since it's not hard to find runes, and the rat swarm skill is overpowered as shit and just plain awesome so most people will probably just wind up abusing that, although that was a strategy far beneath my crafty, boring roof-climbing brilliance.
While the story may not be anything special at its meaty centre, it's paced and presented well enough to maintain interest which makes it a mighty shame that the characterisation dressings were made from grime and cow urine. Virtually every single character only ever spouts exposition to link one mission to the next without so much as a comment on the weather to liven the conversation up, all whilst glaring at Corvo through Bethesda's typical terrifying fixed eye contact, like they're all Barbie dolls being controlled by the universe's biggest asshole of a god. While I understand the city has become quite dreary since those good ol’ days, that shouldn't mean the people need to be dreary as well. If not for my own personal adoration for stealth and the knowledge that there was a good ending and a bad ending dependent on how much of a big murdering bastard Corvo was, I probably would've just killed all the guards just to stop their repetitive blithering because none of them have any personality or charm that would otherwise incentivise seeking out passive means to progress.
So Dishonored has the gameplay and world-construction depth I like, but it just can't seem to get characterisation right. And that's a pretty big fucking problem considering how story-driven the game is, especially when your protagonist can't speak. How much of the conflict in this story could've been solved had Corvo just explained what actually happened and offered to help correct the problem? He wouldn't even necessarily have to speak to do that; he could've just written it all on a piece of paper and saved a lot of guards their nasty headaches. But hey, a good game is a good game, and it's great to have another open-ended stealth experience again after so many years. Kudos to you, Dishonored, for filling in a gap that's long needed to be refilled again! Now fuck off while I play Assassin's Creed III.
Caiman Gamin'
So for an introduction I was going to write a little about a certain topic that's been bugging me a lot these past few days, but it ended up being way too long so I decided to just make it another section, but…you'll see that one later.
Anyway, on to the review of the game I said I was gonna review, what, three months ago? Y'see, I actually completed Mass Effect 3 more or less when I was doing the other two reviews, BUT, I couldn't find any time to actually gather my thoughts and make a coherent review about it. And, in order to make this review, I had to replay like 1/3ths of the campaign so that this isn't based on LIES and BLASPHEMY. Still, that replay was made in the last days of September, and the review was done by October. So, you're probably wondering, why did I withhold the review from you people? Well, the Wii U version of Mass Effect 3 is coming out this month (actually, by the time this is published the game will probably be already out), and I figured most of the people who would buy this game are getting that version, so that's that.
So, just in case you forgot, I'm going to review Mass Effect for the Playstation 3, Xbox 360, Wii U and PC, developed by Bioware and released March 6, 2012. This review is based on the PC version of the game downloaded though Origin, and is solely focused on the single-player aspect of the game, simply because the multiplayer takes like 10 days to load to the title screen.
Starting with most likely the reason you would play a Bioware game, the story. This is probably the only time I didn't like the story in a BioWare game, so let me explain why. The Reapers are invading the Earth and everything in the Milky Way because fuck humans and aliens, that's why. So Commander Shepard, who was in jail because nobody will pay attention to what he/you have to say because they're a bunch of idiots, gets out of Earth quickly, gets his old squad back plus some Latin dudebro nobody asked for and they are off to make sure the aliens stop fighting against themselves and start trying to "prevent the end of civilization", because if Shepard didn’t exist nobody would get anything done.
Why does this piss me off so much, if it sounds like standard sci-fi adventure crap? Well, in the second mission you're introduced to the "deus ex machina" of the series, an old and ancient weapon that has just been discovered called the Crucible that can somehow destroy the Reapers in one fell swoop because science! So, you thought this game was gonna be all awesome and shit with you going forming alliances between humans and alien races, going to their homeworlds and killing Reapers, while at the same time having the ultimate goal of getting back Earth? NOPE! All the game you spend time getting resources for the Crucible, in the meantime getting like 2 of the hundreds of subplots in the series resolved. I do have to admit there are some cool moments in the story, but as a whole it just feels like BioWare didn't really know how to end it so they just made up shit thinking we wouldn't care.
That's not even going into the character dynamics this time. Instead of having private conversations with each of your teammates whenever you want, they'll only say one sentence to you except for scripted events, making the whole situation a whole step down from previous games.
The other important thing in a BioWare game is gameplay, right? Well… I really don't have a lot to say about it, because it's the same fucking thing every level. I mean it; every level is just SHOOT WAVE OF ENEMIES, GO TO NEXT AREA, and SHOOT NEXT WAVE OF ENEMIES. Now, this was fine for the other two games, because there were actually other interesting things to do in the game, but this time, there's only one hub for the whole game, The Citadel, but don't think that since there's only one hub, it's the most detailed area of the game. I'm pretty sure the Mass Effect 1 Citadel was more detailed and developed, and that game had four hubs! Four! And the only thing you can do in there anyway is to eavesdrop on conversations so you can go do side missions.
But don't think those side missions are something playable, though. They consist of going to the galaxy map and scanning a certain planet and… that's it, mission complete. The only challenge is the fact that the game forces you to not use the scan function too much because Reapers will suddenly appear on the map and won't leave that part of the galaxy until a day later in real time (note: I actually don't know what causes the Reapers to leave, but I assume it's just a fuckton of time.)
The music and graphics are fine, I guess, but that won't matter if the game isn't any good, right? Well, you're right, because at the time of writing I honestly can't remember any music at all; all that's stuck in my mind is the fact that this game is really bad.
So, to conclude with this... review (even though it was mostly anger management class), I'll say that, be it the PS3/360/PC version you're getting to complete the trilogy, or getting a game for your brand new Wii U of a franchise you were interested but could never try out, you're better off not playing this game, because, I swear to Clippy, its lack of payoff and baffling design decisions will end up ruining the rest of the trilogy for you. You'll go "meh, why bother if I already know the disappointing payoff?" and don't muster enough strength to play again. I hope the hypothetical (I know this is supposed to be the end of the trilogy, but you and I both know that a franchise so popular as Mass Effect will continue) Mass Effect 4 will go back and take the best of Mass Effect 2's gameplay BUT with the exploration and characterization of the first game, because that would honestly be the only way I would be interested in it.
Dippy's Matilda
Hey guys, it's your sub-team director again, with a subject I've been waiting several months to write about; Non-Combat Games. It's something I was going to write to coincide with my Prototype 2 review, but I wanted to do that sarcastic E3 article instead so decided to put it off, but now I think I have a good opening to discuss this so let's take a crack at it.
Games are violent and packed with action. So are many movies, books, and television, sure, but video games seem to be particularly bad in this regard. Almost every hugely popular game or series of the past twenty years has involved action, violence, or combat in one way or another, and that's understandable; as humans, we naturally find violence entertaining and fun, especially if it's on fictional avatars that don't exist. And there's nothing inherently wrong with combat games at all, in the same way there's nothing wrong with a good action film. But I think it's fairly hard to deny that the industry is overflowing with combat-focussed titles, from Mario's light-hearted stomping and fireballing of large turtles, to Kratos' brutal dismemberment of Greek deities; a quick look through your game collection will probably yield less genre variety than your film or book collection.
So why is this industry so geared towards combat, to such a degree that even Kirby isn't able to avoid harming other creatures? Simply put, combat is easy to make, understand, and sell; something attempting to harm you creates challenge, their attempts at harming you gives you context to harm them, and overcoming the obstacle creates a sense of accomplishment. There's no deep art to it, it's simply a formula that we've long since known to just work for creating conflict and entertainment, and that's a totally acceptable algorithm. I'm not saying we should abandon that for all games, not at all, the reason it gets used so often is because it just works for a lot of settings and scenarios.
But with people – both developers and consumers – still clinging on to the logic that games are just light-hearted recreation akin to toys rather than interactive art, there's not really much reason for most developers to deviate from combat games especially when it tends to limit broad appeal and sales, and often gets you branded pretentious or casual. But I always like to think of it in this context; could you imagine if every movie was a careless, fun summer blockbuster like Transformers, The Avengers, or Bourne? Sure, they may be fun action films that you can lose yourself in just to unwind, some might even be deep and interesting beyond the immediate flash and thrill, but they would become incredibly stale and bland if that's all we're being subjected to every time a new release comes out. Explode-y action fun isn't all there is to life, after all.
I guess the base argument here is we need more variety in our games, but it goes deeper than that. What could possibly make a game about negotiating or debating, or about constructing a town or city and maintaining it as mayor, be less engaging than a game where you slice living things up or crush them under your shoes? Where in the game development rules does it say a game about romance or character interactions alone couldn't be as interesting as casting fire and lightning spells on orcs? Why are these non-combat themes so rarely explored as full interactive triple-A games, instead delegated primarily to indie development teams without the sustainable budget to really flesh out these experiences to something with more substance?
That's not to say non-combat games don't exist, that would be a tremendously foolish statement. Some have even become huge successes, like The Sims and Guitar Hero, even if these games are just simulators instead of story or theme-driven interactive experiences. But that success tends to be used as an example in utterly baffling rhetoric for why they only appeal to casual non-gamers just trying to waste time, rather than being any legitimate gaming experience; in fact, in general it seems almost every time a game doesn't feature any sort of combat they get pinned as casual, niche appeal, or just pretentious indie crap. That is a terrible logic to have. Dismissing anything that you don't personally like under a derisive category just so you can pretend they don't exist or don't count is the very reason people still think of this medium as childish, non-inclusive, and stuck in its own world, and this closed-minded attitude is why games aren't evolving as steadily as they probably should.
Think about this year's indie darling Journey, a game I and several more professional critics gave a very positive review. Journey – as well as its predecessors FLOW and Flower – feature no combat whatsoever, no semblance of malicious action on your part. Sure, Journey does have monsters you need to hide from, but you never attack them; all you do is travel through a variety of locations in a large, strange world with another online player whose details are completely unknown to you. No name, no voice, no way to interact with them on a conventional level, all that matters is that they are another person in a land that's seemingly barren and empty, and that's enough to make your limited interactions with them so full of meaning and purpose. No fighting, no harming others, and yet still one of the most emotional, engaging experiences in the entire history of the medium. Why can't we have more major releases – especially big budget ones – that are so emotionally profound without having to use combat as the conduit through which we get engaged?
Imagine a role-playing game where the battle sequences are political debates and the popularity you gain allows you to pour experience into political-inspired stats instead of the usual fantasy stats? Or taking control of William Wilberforce in his endeavours to end the slave trade in the British Empire, viciously arguing in the court room while partaking in direct activism to garner support for the cause? How about a game where you travel around the entire world seeking your one true love, along the way taking part in a variety of different events and experiences across many different cultures? Imagine the rhythm genre being reborn as something more deep and story-focussed, as you take the role of a real musician – say, Johnny Cash or Eric Clapton – in a detailed biopic of their lives? And these are just a few ideas from one idealistic gamer; what might happen if an entire company of professional, devoted developers were conceptualising deep and emotional gaming experiences that don't employ combat at all to engage its audience? The possibilities are endless!
I know it can seem a bit scary to make such a radical change to the way we approach serious game design, and almost as if what's made the medium so entertaining and appealing to us could be taken away, but this industry will never mature if everyone just refuses to accept change, however bizarre or uncertain that change may seem. Admitting that games could explore other aspects of the human condition without requiring inflicting pain on other things or fast-paced action at all times to keep it interesting, isn't going to ruin the medium for anyone; the action games – both the carefree fun ones and the story-driven ones – will always still be there as they should, and they may always be the dominant force in the industry, and there's nothing wrong with that at all. We'll just have a whole new pool of interactive experiences to dive into and completely immerse ourselves – and hopefully more people who otherwise wouldn't spend that much time on video games – in.
Maybe many of the examples currently out there aren't quite up to scratch – I mean Ace Attorney is engaging as hell, but it's still a bit low on the interactivity side – but we'll never make progress if we don't start somewhere, even if we're not going to get it right the first time. Rather than looking at these games as sloppy, pretentious, and unengaging, we should maintain an open mind and observe them; think “well this isn't brilliant, but how could it be brilliant? How could we take inspiration from this to make it work in the future?” Once we start thinking that deeply about game design, thinking outside the box of the accepted status quo of combat games into new, unexplored realms of player engagement, I think you'll find we'll have a much more rich, varied, and exciting medium! Hopefully this was interesting, and I'll see you again next month!
| Plumber | |
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| First article: | Riddles, Issue III |
| Last article: | Director’s Notes, Issue XI |
| Sections Written: | Main/Staff: 9 Fun Stuff: 4 |
| Positions held: | Director, Editor-in-Chief |
HI, readers! I'm your intellectual Statistics Manager, Tucayo, and welcome to another installment of Retro Feature! After reviewing Ralphfan's job last month, this time I'm going all the way back to Issue III to bring you the work of former director, Plumber (talk)!
Plumber joined the MarioWiki on January 2007 (he's old, right?) and signed up for The 'Shroom shortly after. At first, he signed himself up to write Fake Characters, which had been last written by WarioLoaf on Issue I, but then-Director Wayoshi rejected his sign-up, since no additional sections to the ones WarioLoaf already wrote were allowed. He later signed up for a Fake Article, but was rejected once again by Wayoshi. After that he signed up for the Riddles section, which was created by him. After seeing Superchao (talk) and Xzelion (talk)'s sections (Quiz and Jokes, respectively) could fall under the same category as Plumber's, Wayoshi decided to group them under a new "section", then called the Fun Section. This Fun Section would be later renamed to Fun Stuff, but back then it was just a small compilation of a handful of sections. It wasn’t really directed by anyone, it was just compiled by the Director.
One of the pioneers of what is now a well-established Sub-Team, Plumber wrote four Riddles sections before making the jump into the directing staff. Wayoshi retired from his administrative and Shroom duties after Issue V, and left then-Editor-in-Chief HK-47 as Director. Since the Editor-in-Chief job was vacant, HK appointed Plumber as his EiC; however, that distribution would only last one month, since HK retired after directing Issue VI, which left Plumber as Director. During that time (mid-2007), there was a drought of contributors in the Super Mario Wiki, which was of course reflected in The 'Shroom. That is why, The 'Shroom's first year was a rough one, but Plumber managed to keep The 'Shroom active and alive, and even made some important changes in the process. Plumber revamped the Sign-Up page to make more organized; removed the EiC position he had previously held, claiming anyone could check grammar (the position would later be reinstated under Stooben's and my directorship, only to be removed again); but, most importantly, he created the Election process. As I had mentioned before, the old method to choose the new Director was simply to appoint the EiC as Director, which Plumber didn't quite like, so, before he retired, he held the first 'Shroom Director Election, which Glowsquid (talk) won.
As an additional piece of trivia, writers like Beanbean (talk), Crocodile Dippy (talk), Glitchman (talk), Stooben Rooben (talk) and Xpike (talk) wrote their first 'Shroom section under Plumber's directorship.
Without more, I leave you with one of the first Fun Stuff sections ever, Plumber’s Riddles from Issue III, enjoy!
RiddlesCan you figure out who or what is being described in these clever lines? From Plumber, Riddles of the Pipe. Riddle #1I used to just sit around all day without moving Riddle #2If you want something destroyed, Riddle #3I kidnapped someone in a video game once, you know
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Oh, and I almost forgot to say Plumber is the reason I changed my username to Henry Tucayo Clay. That’s all for this month’s Retro Feature, I hope you enjoyed this trip into the newspaper’s past, and remember, history is cool!
What? No, that’s a dumb phrase, please forget I said that. BYE!
Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. -King Soloman, Ecclesiastes 1:2
What? Another character comparison of fuckin' plants in only two months? Oh God, here we go again. I'm going to be comparing the two most vain characters in the history of Mario's world. And you know who they are: They are both vain, conceited, self-worshipping, and... blossoms. They are, no doubt, King Croacus IV of Super Paper Mario, and Rosie of Paper Mario. Croacus IV comes from a long lineage. He is a descendant of Croacus I, the original King Croacus, known to his subjects more commonly as the Iron Rose. He basically united all the Floro Sapiens into one kingdom, the Flora Kingdom. When his son wilted, he went mad, corrupt, and tyrannical. This period is known as The Darkening. He was overthrown by his own daughter in a coup d'etat and he wilted. However, the Floro Sapiens of today still regard him as a hero, despite his descent into madness late in his life. Most of his rule saw great prosperity for the young kingdom he formed and benevolence from their great leader to whom they still owe very much.
Pretties... Beautiful things... Ooo-wee! Bring them to me... More! More! More! – King Croacus IV
King Croacus uses Floro Sprouts to brainwash the Cragnons into rebuilding his castle before trying to murder Mario and company. His philosophy is "Do as thou wilt". Until he does wilt, that is. No, even after... Lord, between Rosie, King Croacus, Piranha Plants... Murderous plants abound. It's sort of like Audrey II from Roger Corman's Little Shop of Horrors. Croacus is obsessed with beauty and all things worldly. The fact that he went crazy from drinking Cragnon-polluted water is similar to how monarchs of centuries old went crazy from drinking from lead chalices. He is sooo effeminate he makes Harhall seem like manly Heronicus. But, again, it is reminiscent of behavior of monarchs of old, who acted in such a manner due to being spoiled rotten from cradle to grave. His size is equal to his ego. To defeat him, use Bowser to fry his ass. Let's face it: Practically speaking, as soon as available, Bowser/Carrie is the best possible combination for any fight in the game, hands down, with the sole exception of Bonechill. Use Luigi. Once he is "dead", the Floro Sapiens will lament that he was a great and righteous ruler, and that it was all the Cragnon's fault for polluting the water supply.
Later on in the game, the game cops out on his "death" by somehow bringing him back. It's just like Luvbi. I guess the developers did it to not disturb little kids. But what's their fucking point? The kid might have gone days before finding out both characters were still alive, or they might not have revisited the chapters at all!
Next we have Rosie... You are my Posie! No, not really. She is a black-hearted bitch. It's like she is beautiful on the outside, but wickedly hideous on the inside. I have never heard of that happening before. I commend Paper Mario on breaking new grounds! Like one of the Three Hags in Super Paper Mario said, we love a flower because we know it will soon fade. She has a point, I mean, who ever loved a stone? Or a Cleft? But anyway, you won't love this rose! You'll want her to wilt! They say even the prettiest rose has thorns. She calls herself a Rose Spirit. So on that token, her soul protrudes from her stem. She and all plants in Flower Fields are rooted to the ground, so how the fuck do they even know each other? How many people can even see Rosie's beauty? Only people who go through the annoying hedge maze! How many have there been? So hah! If you seek someone more full of his or herself than Croacus, look no further. I need do no more than quote her so you'll understand how she lacks a scintilla of decency: "Oh, hello. I'm Rosie, a Rose Spirit. I'm ever glad to meet you. Please, admire me all you like. Breathtaking, aren't I? Aren't I just incredible? Really? I'm that beautiful? You're so honest and charming underneath that scruffy mustache. I like you. And because I like you, I'll show you this. This stone, isn't it beautiful? I found it just the other day. Some strange creatures on clouds dropped it. I couldn't resist it's gorgeous glitter, so I made it mine. I could look at it all day... Huh? What did you say? I should give you the stone? Oh dear... You're saying Lily's in trouble..." Fuck it, I'm through quoting her thorny ass. You know what happens. She knows Lily will die without and, and STILL will not give Mario the stone without giving her something more beautiful. If I were Mario, I would have given her something, but not a Crystal Berry! I would have stuffed myself at Tayce T.'s, thrown off my trousers, squatted over her while she remained unmoving (as she is rooted to the ground, therefore helpless) and given her some stinky, Italian-made fertilizer! Hah! Take that! It may technically be good for you and the grass around you, but let's see how beautiful you are when you're covered in shit! Oh, and the Water Stone's mine, bitch, there's not a damn thing you can do about it! Females such as Rosie have made entire civilizations fall! I swear, had Rosie not been a flower, she would have destroyed my faith in humanity! But she is hot though, you have to admit...
So who is the wiener, I mean winner? If I had anything to say about it... hold on, I have everything to say about it. Lemme get this straight: If I name Croacus the winner, than Rosie don't get the prize? Gooooood! Therefore, King Croacus IV, A WINNER IS YOU!
What's up, Brawlers? FunkyK38 here with the latest edition of BRAWL TACTICS!
For this month, I will be starting a 3-part series examining the Pokemon Trainer and his team of Kanto starter Pokemon, I will be starting, naturally, with Squirtle!
Squirtle is a small- sized fighter that is very light. It has a decent jump for its size, and its speed is average.
Squirtle's Standard Special is Water Gun. Despite this move's useful nature in the Pokemon series, it is pretty much useless in this game. Your attackers will be repelled by a stream of water from Squirtle's mouth. Depending on how long you charge this stream for, your opponent could go far enough away for you to prep another attack. This is a good move to use if you need to get an opponent off of you who has been following you around relentlessly. Other than that, it's basically just a hose down for your opponents.
Squirtle's Side Special is Withdraw. When Squirtle uses this move, he glides along the stage, bashing opponents out of his way and getting away from any dangers that may have tried to corner him in the first place. Although this move is more effective than Water Gun, it has a fatal flaw that can be exploited by experienced Mario players: if you jump on Squirtle while he's gliding along, he will stop like a Koopa and your attack will fail. So be warned! If you don't want your Squirtle to end up like a poor Koopa at the end of World 2-4, always watch out for players who are more than willing to take the risk to stop your attack.
Squirtle's Up Special is Waterfall. It's one of his better moves, as you can use it in a couple different ways. First off, if you ride your 'fall on top of your opponent's face, you will adamage them. I suggest using this move to drag them upwards so you can get the full attack in. Start out with some basic attacks that draw them close, then attack with this move to finish off the combo. This move can also be used as a third jump if you need it, but be careful where you aim. Like most third jumps, Squirtle will be rendered helpless after using this, but he is relatively easy to push towards the side of the stage since he is so light. And this move actually goes fairly far, with no big tricks attached to it.
Squirtle's Down Special is Pokemon Change. This move is not an attack, it's just a change of place for Ivysaur. Like other transformation moves, such as Zelda's, Squirtle gets invincibility during the switch, but when Ivysaur comes out, be ready to fight. If you need to switch Pokemon, this move can be used pretty much anywhere, so give it a try if you're getting tired.
Squirtle combines with its Pokemon teammates to form the Final Smash known as Triple Finish! This is a beam-style Final Smash, so get to one side of the stage when using it. Squirtle's role in this is to blast opponents with its Hydro Pump, perhaps to cool them down from Charizard's fire? Not likely. Probably not possible when you're getting blasted with water at the pressure of a fire hose.
Well, that's all for me this month, Brawlers! Be sure to check in next month as I report on Ivysaur! Happy Brawling!
Hello, Mario Karters to the Mario Kart: Wheel Tips Corner. This is a special month, guys. Nintendo has chosen this date to finally release the Wii U in North America! The new Nintendo console will be released on Sunday, November 18, but Europe and Australia will get it too on Friday, November 30. And while we wait for those dates, Nintendo reveals new information about its features, new details about its software, online service, Miiverse, etc. We expect that the Wii U will get successful sales during these releases, and listen to reviews and other unknown details about the console and its launch games.
Now let's continue with our tip for this month. Today I'll talk about two more vehicles from Mario Kart Wii. These are the Jetsetter and the Flame Runner. Both of these vehicles are suited for Large characters, so the other size classes, Small and Medium cannot use them.
The Jetsetter (or Aero Glider in PAL Regions) is a Kart that resembles a Le Mans Prototype, a vehicle used in races. The Jetsetter features a three-pointed nose with the central point being shorter and thicker. The points on the sides each have a big headlamp. It has blue wheels, a rear fin and a single dual exhaust port in the back. The decals of the characters are located over the nose in the center and the sides of the kart. It is unlocked by receiving at least a one star rank in all the 150cc Retro Cups. These are its stats:
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Vehicle type: Drift |
Like it's real life counterpart, made for races at great speed, this kart has great speed. The Jetsetter is the fastest kart in the game. Its weight looks average but it is the lightest kart among the large class, making it comparable to some karts of the medium class. However, despite its great speed, the other stats of the Jetsetter are rather low. The drift and acceleration are below average, something common in the vehicles within this size class, but the handling, off-road and mini-turbo are the worst in the game. These stats can be challenging for an expert player, specially during professional races, as the kart does not have enough strength to surpass the obstacles that are present in the competitions, like the items and the in-course gimmicks. The Jetsetter, however can be useful in time trials.
The next vehicle will be a bike, the Flame Runner also called Bowser Bike in PAL regions. As it PAL name suggests, this bike resembles Bowser in the shape of a motorbike. The front is shaped like his head. No other vehicles in the game has such features for other playable characters. The characters' decal is rather small on this bike and is located on the sides. The rear of the Flame Runner has a pair of little spikes behind the seat, resembling Bowser´s tail and a pair of large exhaust pipes come out behind the bike. Now let's see its stats:
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Vehicle type: Hang-on |
The Flame Runner's highlights are its speed and weight. It's the second fastest bike of the Large size class and its weight is tied with a Standard Bike L. Its Mini-Turbo and Drift are quite good, one of the best large bikes at this. In contrast, its acceleration and off-road are low, which is typical for a large bike. The Flame Runner has overall excellent stats, that is the most used bike by expert players in several types of races. The reason comes specially with its Mini-turbo power and drift combined with a great speed. Because of its quality, it's not surprising when playing online that you see at least eight players out of twelve using this bike just to be the fastest.
And that's all the tips for today, Karters. See you next time for the last tip of this year here in Mario Kart: Wheel Tips Corner.
