The 'Shroom:Issue 212/Fake News
Director's Notes
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk)
Hello there, Fake News readers! All the Halloween decorations are down and we've resumed mostly normal operations here at the 'Shroom offices, besides me playing Waluigi Christmas carols nonstop since November 1st. I don't think the other writers mind, though. Those annoyed expressions whenever a new one starts are probably because there was too much silence between songs.
A few minor announcements for you this month. First of all, Cooking Guide is switching to a bi-monthly schedule starting with this issue. In collaboration news, Boo1268 has tagged along with TheBlueCatMenace on their latest excursion in The Sunshine Travel Guide, so be sure to read it and find out what those two got up to! We also have a bonus section because I felt like writing a guest Police Blotter based on current wiki happenings. If you know, you know! Finally, Shoey (talk) and Hooded Pitohui (talk) are taking a break from Mushroom Tribune this month, but there's a new edition of the Fungal Forager's Field Guide to hopefully make up for it, along with all your other Fake News favorites.
Section of the Month
Two ties! In first place we've got The Moonlight Travel Guide by TheBlueCatMenace with a Halloween trip to the Gloomy Manor, and DK Island Gazette by Shoey (talk) and Hooded Pitohui (talk) with breaking news about the seizure of Bluster Barrelworks! Following those, we have another tie between an Overlook Mountain Auction House Presents collaboration with Boo1268 featuring some beautifully crafted King Boo gems, and the spooky return of Cooking Guide by ClawgripFan9001 in collaboration with Boo1268 and a guest appearance by Anton (talk)! Thank you for showing your support to our writers, and be sure to keep it up!
| FAKE NEWS SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | The Moonlight Travel Guide | 10 | 22.73% | TheBlueCatMenace |
| 1st | DK Island Gazette | 10 | 22.73% | Shoey (talk) and Hooded Pitohui (talk) |
| 3rd | Overlook Mountain Auction House Presents | 6 | 13.64% | Shoey (talk), Waluigi Time (talk), and Boo1268 |
| 3rd | Cooking Guide | 6 | 13.64% | ClawgripFan9001, Boo1268, and Anton (talk) |
Dear Waluigi Time
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk)
Questions submitted by: FanOfYoshi, The_Donut1987, and an anonymous user
Heya, Waluigi Time. It's about my pet Spike Top... Over the past few weeks, he's been growing increasingly hostile towards anything that remotely resembles or reminds him of Wario, whether it's garlic, farts or anything of the sort. In extreme moments of stress and frustrations, he packs heat in a Looney Tunes-style fashion, or even would spin or run around in mid-air. Is this a normal behavior? -FanOfYoshi
This doesn't sound normal at all! Maybe there's some bad anti-Wario influences in your Spike Top's life? Or perhaps your Spike Top's been playing too much Mario Party online while you're away and lost to someone playing as Wario one too many times! It happens to the best of us, and not everyone has the temperament to handle it. Especially when you land on that stupid Chance Time Space in the last two turns and end up trading all four of your stars to the guy who didn't collect a single one the entire game and- I mean... I'm definitely not bitter about anything of the sort.
Wario's a public figure with a pretty divided reputation, but considering this behavior is extending to things that aren't even inherently Wario-related, I'd say it's a problem you'll want to get rid of as soon as possible. Who knows, he could even end up hating money next! So, we're going to try a little "reassociation therapy" to prevent your Spike Top from going bonkers the next time you want to order garlic bread.
Here's the way it works. Get pictures of things that set your Spike Top off while avoiding any distinctly Wario imagery, and pictures of other famous figures, then show them to your Spike Top at the same time! Money? That's not a Wario thing, that's a Mario thing, because they both start with the letter M. Also, there's that time Mario collected stacks of money and turned himself into actual gold. Garlic? Starts with G, like Lui-G. You get me?
If this doesn't work, I'm not a psychiatrist so don't blame me.
Dear Waluigi Time,
I decided to take the deal then all of a sudden me and the triangle got warped to what looks like Peach's castle but we look like Mario and Luigi, a text box then popped up saying "Welcome to Mario Wonderland! If you're feeling the adventurous sort, check out the castle ahead." I have a feeling I remember this sorta thing.
-----The Donut
Is it too late to say don't accept any deals with a suspiciously dapper triangle? Just speaking from experience here.
Well, it looks like you've gotten yourself trapped inside a video game, so hopefully you're seeing this! It's pretty impressive that you were able to send me the question at all then. I'd like to think I'm kind of genre savvy, so assuming you can't just leave via pause menu, you're going to have to beat the game if you want to escape. Unfortunately, your job is going to be a lot harder since you have "Luigi" with you - don't trust that guy, whatever he does - so you seem to have found yourself in a situation akin to New Super Mario Bros. co-op.
The good news is you appear to be in the classic Super Mario 64! The bad news is it looks like you're in an earlier or possibly modified build of the game, which means you can't cling to the hope of familiarity. The worst news is the camera sucks. But you know the drill! Jump through paintings, collect stars, hopefully fight Bowser eventually. Since "Luigi" is the one that got you into this mess, make him test the paintings first if you can, that way you're not smacking facefirst into a non-magical canvas by mistake. Leave no stone unturned, and you'll be back home in no time!
Hi, I am Steve from Minecraft. The problem is, creepers keep blowing up my house! I assume you have tips, because you’ve dealt with Bob-ombs (which are like creepers) all the time. Any ideas. I really need ‘em, because they exploded my bed, and I don’t have enough materials to make another one. If I have 3 days without sleep something bad will happen (besides sleep deprivation). A phantom will attack me. They’re like Boo birds, but if you look at them they’ll still attack you. Help!
If things are blowing up your house then the obvious answer is to keep them away from your house! And I don't mean putting a "no creepers allowed" sign on your door. You need to establish a safe perimeter around your house to keep the creepers out of exploding distance. A simple fence should work, but if you're feeling fancy, you could build a wall or dig a moat instead! My understanding is that creepers actually aren't too bright and don't understand the concept of jumping across small gaps. If you're feeling a little more devious, try putting up obstacles and traps to keep away unwanted pests! Nothing says go away like a blocky version of Home Alone. Also, dark places are ideal breeding grounds for all kinds of monsters, so make sure the surrounding area is well-lit.
As far as rebuilding goes, some materials are stronger than others, naturally! If it happens again, or even if you just need to make some quick repairs, stone or bricks are good materials that will hold up better against an explosion. Try to avoid building near the edge of a hill or mountain, you never know what could drop down on you from up there.
For the sleep thing... I don't know, can't you just crash on the floor, or something? Dirt would be more comfortable for that, I guess.
Got a question you want answered? Stop by the forum thread for this section, or contact me on my talk page! We're approaching the holiday season again, so I'll be prioritizing relevant questions for it.
Written by: Boo1268
Falling Into Autumn Heights History
Hello, readers of all walks of life, and welcome to The Spectral Lens. I hope you all had a happy Halloween this year with plenty of tricks and treats to go along with them, and I hope you enjoyed my SpOoKy Story as much as I enjoyed researching for it. But now my friends, as the crisp, cool autumn air fills the breeze, the leaves change their color. The hint of cinnamon reaches our noses. I must say it is now November, but while everybody else was inside their homes enjoying freshly baked pumpkin pie, I was setting out on an expedition to discover the history behind the mysterious Autumn Heights. You see, a few weeks ago, I had asked my good friend Cosmo if he wished to join me on an expedition to Autumn Heights to discover its ancient history. However, during our journey we bit off a bit more than we could chew. Thankfully, we still had plenty of time to not only learn the rich history behind many of the island's locations, but now thanks to the island's archives, discover the history of the island itself! So without further ado, let us begin.
The history of the island during its founding is very obscure, but from what I could gather, the island at first mainly consisted of the native species of Hootz, Schnautzels, and Chesters, all species living simple farming lives, cultivating crops, and making their soon to be famous cheese with milk harvested from the local goats. During this time, the most “advanced” technology they had invented at the time were windmills used to automatically help stir milk to help in the creation of their cheese, alongside providing power to homes. Over time, Autumn Heights would begin to transition from a simple farming society and form its own government and political system. This would eventually cultivate into what was soon to be known as the Court of Owls, the Council of which consisting of only the highest ranking Hootz from the island's community, and even now, the court system still remains somewhat unchanged over the years. However, one thing that would change was when one day Kongs visited the island.
For you see, many years ago, ancient Kong settlers would visit the island in the hopes of spreading their culture and influence to others, and like they had done many other times beforehand, they had somewhat succeeded. The Kongs introduced many different ideas and elements that over time would become engraved into the island's culture, such as art, technology, and religion. This influence would result in the creation of the Autumn Hill Sawmill; the invention of cave refrigeration; the construction of homes located high up in the sky, eventually forming The Birds Nest, also known as Wing Ding City; and introducing a Banana Coin economy into their society. However, complications would arise as the Kongs constructed a holy temple dedicated to the Banana Bird, with its main purpose being to coerce the citizens into worshiping their god. However, this was in the eyes of the Court of Owls heresy to their way of life, so without hesitation, the Kongs were banished off the island, never to be seen again. Their influence would become integrated into the island's culture, claiming it as their own, and the name of the Kongs would be lost to history. The only thing left of their impact would be the shrine they once used.
Some years would pass, and as Autumn Heights continued to prosper, so too would the rich culture of the island, so much so that they would invent their own god, Minerva the Owl God, based off of the Great Banana Bird. They would even craft statues in her name and tell tales of how she granted all birds the gift of flight! All seemed peaceful, until one day, a wandering tribe of island conquerors called the Snowmads invaded their home. However, whereas in most instances the invaders would be rejected by the islanders, instead they were embraced due to familiar relation to their own culture, and due to this, Lord Fredrik would see the current leader, Skowl, Head of the Court of Owls, was a worthy candidate to be a general in his army. This dedication to the Snowmads was so deep that they even refurbished the old Kong temple into a Snowmad Shrine, and from that day forward, the Court of Owls and the Snowmads seemed inseparable.
That was until Donkey Kong the 3rd ventured into the Autumn Heights and stopped the Snowmads and the Startling King Skowl's tyrannical reign. Thankfully, after this, things would become better for all the citizens in Autumn Heights. With Skowl out of the picture and a new Head of Council appointed, peace would be restored to Autumn Heights. Nowadays, Autumn Heights is open to tourists of all shapes and sizes, all of which want to see the beauty the island has to offer! Currently, the island has reached the HEIGHT of its popularity and many can see its glorious future is just beyond the horizon. So remember dear readers, even when things seem grim, don't be blinded by false faith. There is still hope left in the world. Simply let the winds of change guide you. And so, with that, our story ends. I hope you all enjoyed the intriguing history behind this supposedly “uncharted” island, and if you want to hear more about my and Cosmo's adventures in Autumn Heights, go check out The Sunshine Travel Guide. And once again, thank you to TPG for the banner. Go support them anyway you can! And if you have any request for what I should cover next, then don't hesitate to check out my forum page! And with that I say: Merci, au revoir and happy Thanksgiving!
Written by: ClawgripFan9001
Ahoy, me crew o’ culinary connoisseurs! It be yer crustacean cap’n, ClawgripFan9001, ready ta take ye back ta the seas o’ seasoned treasures after me grand return in last month’s issue with the ‘elp o’ me paranormal pal, Boo1268, an’ famed New Wikisburg food critic, Anton von Magikoopa! This month, we be goin’ back ta me usual solo outin’s, an’ seein’ as we be in the middle o’ fall, I figured it’d be an appropriate time ta learn ‘ow ta make a dish fittin’ fer the season!
Fer more instructions on ‘ow ta make this scrumptious meal, I sought out the ‘elp o’ the most kindhearted chef I knew, Flipside’s own Saffron!
ClawgripFan9001 entered Saffron’s restaurant, Sweet Smiles, through the front door, gently pushing it open before scuttling inside and just as gently closing the door behind him. “Ahoy, Mrs. Saffron! I be ‘ere fer our cookin’ class!” The Sidestepper called out as Saffron emerged from the kitchen soon after.
“Oh, I’m so glad you made it here safe and sound, ClawgripFan! It’d been so long since I’d heard anything from you in The ‘Shroom that I was starting to get worried, but I’m pleased to see you return for another report!” Saffron beamed at ClawgripFan9001 with a warm smile.
“Aye, I be glad ta be back in Flipside fer business as well. Let’s save all the catchin’ up ta do fer later though, an’ let’s get ta learnin’ ‘ow ta cook this month’s dish, aye?” ClawgripFan9001 suggested as he proceeded to pull out his notepad, ready to start writing down the cooking instructions.
Saffron nodded in acknowledgement. “Of course, dear. As a news reporter, work often comes first before we can sit down to have a good chat. Anyway, you said you wanted to teach your readers how to make Shroom Soup for this month’s issue, correct?”
“Yar, that be the case.” ClawgripFan9001 nodded back in acknowledgement.
“Alright, this dish should be easy enough to make ingredient-wise and instruction-wise! When it comes to ingredients, all you should really need is a Mushroom, a Turtley Leaf and a Fire Burst!” Saffron informed ClawgripFan9001 as she spread the ingredients out onto the kitchen counter.
“Yar, I be listenin’, so lay it on me, an’ I’ll ‘ave it written down on me notepad.” ClawgripFan9001 responded as he scribbled the ingredients down on his notepad as he spoke.
“So, first thing’s first. You take the Mushroom, and you put it inside a cooking pot. Then, you put the Fire Burst into the cooking pot, which should melt the Mushroom into a warm, bubbly and gooey substance needed to create the Shroom Soup. Let it simmer for a good fifteen minutes or so, then grind the Turtley Leaf into tiny pieces using a herb grinder, apply it to the soup to give it that extra herbal bite, and you should be good to go!” Saffron happily explained to ClawgripFan9001 as she carried out the cooking instructions one by one, with our Sidestepper chef dutifully writing everything down onto his notepad.
“Aye, that should be a simple yet tasty enough dish fer the faithful reader o’ The ‘Shroom ta make at home fer the cold an’ murky fall days, I say!” ClawgripFan9001 chimed with his trademark grin as he put away his notepad and pencil.
“I definitely agree! Might I interest you in a free sample before you head back on your way, dear?” Saffron asked with a warm smile as she poured the Shroom Soup into a bowl before putting a spoon inside.
“Yar, I thought ye’d never ask!” ClawgripFan9001 beamed as he scuttled over to the kitchen counter before gently taking the bowl from Saffron and having a taste of the Shroom Soup. “Aye, this be delicious! It be great fer if yer short on time with cookin’ but still require an ‘ealthy meal, ye find yerself ‘ankerin’ a midnight snack, or if ye need breakfast after a Chuckola Cola induced ‘angover!” The Sidestepper grinned and licked his lips after having his free sample.
“Yes, there’s certainly a lot of opportunities for making and eating this dish, and I’m sure your readers will find them quite useful!” Saffron smiled some more with her eyes closed.
“Argh, that be right as rain! Thanks, Mrs. Saffron, fer takin’ the time ta meet with me fer a cookin’ class once again!” ClawgripFan9001 grinned and flashed a thumbs up at the Flipside chef.
“You’re always welcome, dear! If you ever find yourself in need of my help with a dish again, don’t hesitate to ask!” Saffron happily nodded in acknowledgement.
Argh, so ‘ere be the bare necessities fer makin’ Shroom Soup!
Ingredients
- A Mushroom
- A Turtley Leaf
- A Fire Burst
Appliances
- A cooking pot
- A herb grinder
- A bowl an’ spoon
Instructions
- Take the Mushroom, put it in the cookin’ pot, then put the Fire Burst in an’ let the Mushroom melt into an ‘earty delicious goo, then let it simmer fer fifteen minutes.
- Grind the Turtley Leaf into tiny pieces with the ‘erb grinder, an’ sprinkle it ‘cross the Shroom Soup fer an extra bite.
- Put the stuff into a bowl, get a spoon fer eatin’, an’ bon appetit!
Yar, ‘ope ye enjoyed me first solo outin’ in the Cookin’ Guide since all the way back in May! After a three month hiatus an’ the grand return courtesy o’ Boo1268 an’ Anton last month, I felt that a rather simple dish were the way ta go when goin’ solo again! Anyway, that be all the time we ‘ave fer t’day! Given that I be goin’ on a bi-monthly schedule beginnin’ with this month, ye won’t be seein’ me ‘round fer the ‘oliday special next month, so I just wanted ta get the ‘oliday greetings outta the way b’fore I sign off. So with that said, Merry Christmas, ‘Appy ‘Anukkah, ‘appy ev’rybody. ‘Appy ‘Olidays. An’ if ye ‘ave a problem with ‘Appy ‘Olidays, then ‘Appy Pipe The ‘Eck Down. I’ll be seein’ ye in 2025!
Dry Dry Data
Written by: DryBonesBandit (talk)
Hello, readers. Welcome back to Dry Dry Data, with issue #3! I would like to thank the nine voters for my highest Section of the Month placement yet with issue #1 in second place! I would also like to wish everyone who celebrates it a happy Thanksgiving! Without further ado, let’s get into the issue.
Today’s subject is the Enigma (mysterium minimus), bats with a name that perfectly describes these creatures.
The Adventure
When I got the request to do research on the Enigma, I had no clue what it was. The only tip I got was to go to Moleville to see what I could find. When I got there, I questioned the locals about the mysterious creature, and I was told about a large bat with a pig nose. I was intrigued, so I set out into their cave system to meet one of these puzzling beasts. However, I was soon lost inside the maze of tunnels. Still determined to find one of these questionable beings, I reached a large cavern and walked straight into what I thought was a rock. The second that happened, it attacked, and along with it, the conundrum swooped down to join the fight. It was quite the interesting creature to look at. I was talking to myself about how paradoxical it was when I suddenly found myself unable to speak. I immediately left after taking a picture of the being once I discovered that side effect. I found my way out of the cave, and discovered my wallet was missing. Dunno how I lost it. I’m still looking for it.
The Analysis
Appearance
Enigma aren’t these large pig nosed-bats as one would believe from the locals. Rather, they are small, furred pink creatures with two eyes and two pointy ears that cluster together to become a threatening bat with fangs and wings.
Behavior
Enigma are creatures that cluster together to make themselves look threatening to predators. When clustered together, they can use their echolocation offensively to cause harm to opponents. They only tend to work together on certain days, which I found from a book. Despite their scary appearance, they are herbivores.
Weaknesses
After paying a visit to Mario, who had encountered these creatures prior, he told me that they had a weakness to his jumping. I also presume they would have trouble battling if they weren’t awake and if they had no way to use their echolocation.
Conservation status
I have zero clue about this. All I know is that one cluster of them at least resides in the mines of Moleville.
The End
Editor’s note
Remember to submit requests for the next issue on the Mario Boards or my talk page! Since next month is December, try to send in some snow or ice themed submissions!
Fungal Forager's Field Guide
Written by: Patisserie Shoey (talk) and W.P. Hoodington (talk)
The following modified transcript is provided to The 'Shroom by MKBC. In this month's episode, the Fungal Forager's Field Guide's hosts travel to frigid, icy World-5 to locate (and eat) the rare Snailicorn.
Species: Snailicorn
Documented Range: World-5
Family: Gladiatorial Gastropods
Naturalist's Note: Some suggest that the length of a Snailicorn's horn could be a factor in mate selection, but strong supporting evidence has yet to emerge.
One of the most popular claims about Snailicorns posits that they evolved well-defined feet and legs (separate from muscular organ in gastropods which is referred to as a foot) in order to better traverse deep snowdrifts, elevating their bodies above piles of snow which they would otherwise be forced to push their way through. While perhaps an appealing explanation (if one that relies on the more basal misconception that evolution has any particular aim or goal) on account of its tidiness, this focus on locomotion as the benefit of this particular adaptation belies the much more fundamental challenge faced by Snailicorns - thermoregulation, or temperature control. Snailicorns live in a frigid environment, so they must do everything they can in order to avoid loss of heat. While popularly depicted as trudging through large snowdrifts, in actuality, World-5 is a very dry region where fresh snow falls rarely but ice and long-settled hard-packed snow are abundant, and Snailicorns spend most of their time upon the ice. Were their entire bodies to be pressed against the ice as they crawled along, Snailicorns would lose large amounts of heat at a rapid pace. Snailicorns which can stand on two legs minimize the surface area of their body which is directly exposed to ice, aiding them significantly in retaining heat. These did not immediately start as legs; rather, over successive generations, Snailicorns which "stood" upon protuberances survived and reproduced more often those that did not, and those protuberances slowly lengthened and developed into proper appendages. In another evolutionary innovation which actually is thought to have been driven by locomotion challenges, Snailicorns even developed a thick mucosal "shoe" which provides traction on slick icy surfaces.
Thermoregulation is but one of the major hurdles which Snailicorns must overcome to live in World-5, however. As with other terrestrial gastropods, desiccation is a constant threat for Snailicorns, a threat which is exacerbated by World-5's dry air and lack of precipitation. It is often claimed that the primary function of Snailicorn shells is to provide a defense from the horns of other Snailicorns, but while, yes, their shell may provide defense against injury, the true primary benefit of a Snailicorn's shell is protection against desiccation. The shell shields the moist body of the Snailicorn from the cold, dry air, slowing the rate of water loss considerably. When it comes to desiccation resistance, the shell even serves to shield the Snailicorn from both temperature extremes. As many unprepared travelers who thought themselves safe traversing the wilds of World-5 because they had packed a Fire Flower have discovered, the shell is heat-resistant, preventing fire from drying the Snailicorn out as well. This adaptation is thought to aid Snailicorns particularly against the Fire Piranha Plants population of World-5, though it is known to aid gourmands looking for stylish methods of preparing and plating Snailicorns, as well!
A final misconception surrounding the Snailicorn, tied to the claims regarding its shell, claims that the distinctive horn of the species is primarily used for fending off rivals and stabbing potential prey. To date, however, no hypothesis satisfactorily explains the role and significance of the Snailicorn horn. The very small number of puncture wounds seen in the Snow Spikes which Snailicorns primarily prey upon and in Snailicorns, combined with observational studies of Snailicorns, suggest that Snailicorns do not use their horns in combat intentionally. A thrust of its horn seems to be an option of last resort for Snailicorns, and many wounds from horns appear to occur accidentally. The horns and shells of Snailicorns are energetically expensive to grow and repair and require the input of scarce mineral resources obtained mainly by consuming the bones of Snow Spikes and the occasional scavenged Koopa Troopa. As such, the risk of permanent injury to the horn may discourage its use in fights. Instead, Snailicorns mainly attack prey and fend off rivals by shoving them, using their sturdy and well-armored bodies to push other individuals around. Snailicorns will persistently shove their prey and rivals until they are exhausted, then push them into chasms and pits from which they cannot get out of in their exhausted states. After those individuals die, the Snailicorn descends into the chasm to consume them, carefully climbing back out.
Many mysteries continue to surround these rare creatures, but Snailicorns retain the intense interest of the scientific community and the fascination of the general public. Efforts to educate the general public on Snailicorns and to clear up existing misconceptions continue, and the species remains an excellent case study for teaching the public how wildlife adapt to even harsh environments.
Delicacy Status: Frozen Delicacy
Weight: 2-5 lbs
Flavor Profile: Earthy
Chef's Tip: A Snailicorn's horn can be used as the skewer for opulent shish kabobs!
Instead, I have two recipes that I like to use, one for an appetizer and one for a main dish. For our appetizer, we're going to peel off the skin of the Snailicorn either with a sharp knife or a potato peeler if you're in a pinch. Then, melt half a stick of unsalted butter on a skillet. This is important. You cannot cook Snailicorn with salt! Salting Snailicorn meat causes it to shrivel up, becoming brittle and inedible. It's very important that you make sure that nothing salt-related touches the meat! Anyways, place the skin on the buttered skillet and fry until crispy. Then, add garlic and a sweet red wine, turn the skillet to low, and allow it to simmer for 6-7 minutes. This will allow the garlic and the red wine to imprint their flavors in the skin and mute some of the Snailicorn's more pungent flavors. After 6-7 minutes, remove the skin from the skillet and you now have an exotic, earthy, and garlic-y appetizer with a hint of a sweet aftertaste that will be sure to impress your guests.
As for our main course, we're gonna get a little fancy for our guests. We're going to do something a little unorthodox as we make Snailicorn stew! First, remove the Snailicorn from the shell and then mash the flesh with a meat tenderizer until it's nice and tender. Then, and stay with me now, we're going to put the Snailicorn back into the shell. So here's the thing. The shell of a Snailicorn is not only durable, but it's very heat resistant, and that's going to be important in a second. Next, fill the shell until it's about half full with chicken broth and one quart of maximum tomato paste. Then add two chopped Giga Carrots, two potatoes (either chopped or whole), two stalks of celery (chopped), and finally a chopped Omega Onion (optional). Then place the stew on either an open flame or a burner set to high for 45 minutes. Make sure you stir frequently and while stirring add a few shakes of pepper in there. Or, if you're looking to give it just a little kick, add in some ground Dash Pepper, but be careful; add too much Dash Pepper and it'll be like eating a fire!
As you stir, you'll notice that your tenderized Snailicorn will start to break apart, spreading itself throughout the stew. That's why you gotta make sure to tenderize it! If you don't soften it up, the Snailicorn meat won't break apart properly and you'll have a tough time serving it! After 45 minutes, remove from burner and you've got a gourmet stew to impress all your guests. Now, you might be asking "couldn't I just cook this in a pot?", and, yeah, sure, if you want to be boring you could cook it in a pot. But imagine you're having a dinner party and you're trying to impress your boss. You serve him this luxurious stew out of its own shell! You'll knock his socks off! And then that big promotion you're after will be yours in no time!
Written by: Legend 8
Episode 12: One Reunion Too Much
It is a stormy day in the Mushroom Kingdom. It is dark, and the clouds in the sky are black, ominous and wet, only illuminated by the occasional lightning bolt. Any further description of the weather would probably violate some 'Shroom policies or something.
Suddenly, an especially crooked and powerful bolt rips through the sky, shining its bright light upon a huge flying monstrosity that dives out from the clouds, roaring loudly and releasing a fireball that is doused immediately by the endless flood of rain. Atop this creature stand two figures, only their silhouettes discernible, but recognizable nonetheless - they are Pyrokles, legendary Magikoopa and antilogician, and his companion Kroop, the reanimated, flaming skull. A huge umbrella is hovering above them to shield them from the rain.
Kroop: This weather is *BEEEEEEEEP*!!! Why the *BEEEEEP* are we flying to a *BEEEEEP* meeting of yours in the middle of a *BEEEEEEP* hurricane and why did we have to take your *BEEEEEEP* dragon?! You can't even command him properly!
Pyro: Well, we have to make an impression, you know. All my colleagues will be there! About the dragon... he just needs more treats!
Kroop: What?! As far as I know, that didnt really work out last time, in fact, it worked out really *BEEEEEEEP*!
Pyro: Don't worry, I updated the recipe! There you go... See? Now he'll happily fly a few more meters! And about the weather... I'm very sorry, but it's not like I could control it or something...
All of a sudden, something materializes next to Pyro and raises a spectral, glitchy finger as if wanting to explain something. It is, of course, the Explainer!
Actually, Pyro, as far as I know, YOU created this storm for dramatic effect during a show last week! The actual question is why it isn't gone yet...
Pyro: Well, I kind of made a TINY mistake, I only wanted to - but then, I, - I'm sorry... Yeees, it went awry again and I couldn't fix it, but next time, I promise...
Kroop: Pyro, snap out of it. That's what you tell me EVERY TIME. And that's usually seconds before you conjure up some kind of miracle from your sleeves. But no, of course you're unable to make the sun shine! These Antilogicians can be so annoying sometimes... By the way, are the others okay? I mean, mentally?
Pyro: Of coooouurse! I'm sure you'll love them!
I sense irony. Shall I explain what...
Pyro: Attention everyone! You complained about the long flight through the rain, so... get ready for a rough ride! This is gonna be fun!...
Kroop: Rougher than a bickering drag...? WHAAAAAT THE *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP*!!!!!?!??
Suddenly a lightning bolt strikes right in front of them, ripping reality apart for a split second as Pyro raises his staff. The gleaming gash between the clouds widens to form a sparking portal that the dragon flies right through. They all get converted to electricity and zap through multiple dimensions before landing with a strike of lightning on four free seats in a big hall crowded with strange people.
Kroop: That was... kind of shocking.
Pyro: Hey, I wanted to make that joke!
Where are we?
...said the Explainer as he looked around the room. His nonexistent eyes widened with surprise as he heard another bodiless voice with an even bigger habit to be annoying!
"Hello, Explainer! I am the Narrator!" said the Narrator.
Wha... Oh wow! That's, like, so cool that there are more of my kind! Do you want me to explain something to you?
Meanwhile, after feeding the dragon some more and getting him back into his master ball, Pyro and Kroop are already walking around and greeting some of Pyro's old friends.
Pyro: Hey! That over there is Frikrates, one of my old childhood friends! For some reason, he thinks he's a potato, but he's actually quite nice. Before he lost his sanity, he invented tons of potato snacks, so you should rather be grateful!
Kroop: Wait, you told me everybody is mentally fine!
Pyro: Oh, look, that's Oomba! They call her "the all-knowing"... Quite similar to the Explainer, if you ask me, but also really nice. Although she does look pretty strange riding that broomstick with those little Goomba legs.
Oomba: Hey! Who just- oh, Pyro, it's you! It's been ages since we last conquered a dimension together! And you must be Kroop... did you know that you have the same name as the current mayor of Petalburg?
Kroop: Huh??
Pyro: See? Even I didn't know that! Oh, but let's sit down now, the meeting is about to start!
The hall falls silent as a Boo with a long beard and a way too large wizard hat enters the stage. He introduces himself as Bhantomius, host of this milennia's Grand Congress of Antilogic, and starts to give a speech.
Bhantomius: Welcome, everyone, to my manor and to the tenty-fifth Grand Congress!
Kroop: Ten-ty? What's that supposed to be?
Pyro: Oh, only multidimensional numbers. Nothing special, really.
Bhantomius: As you all know, we come here once every 1,000 years to celebrate our victory over reality itself and to exchange new interesting spells and more. Once again, the time has come. Now, to show their newest acievements, I first call onto the stage...
Mid-sentence, the large wooden door to the main hall flies open. Everyone falls silent. In walk two dark figures, wearing large moustaches, sunglasses and bowler hats.
Agent 1: I am VERY sorry to interrupt you, but I'm afraid this meeting is over now.
Agent 2: We are Agents of Absolute and Uncreative Logic, and we have come to end all of this pseudo-scientific nonsense. You don't stand a chance.
Kroop: Wait, what?! W-wait a sec... those guys remind me of something. Remember that Halloween show of yours? That strange pumpkin guy who got crushed by a building in the end?
Agent 1: Yes, that was me indeed. A very - bah, I hate this word! - creative costume of mine, don't you think? And I've still got revenge to take, right, Pyro? Hehehehe...
Pyro: You again!... Er, I mean, what? Who's Pyro? Who are you? I've never seen you before!
Agent 1: Oh, you will remember soon enough.
Bhantomius: What is this supposed to be? My Reminder voice didn't tell me I had another appointment!
Agent 2: I'm afraid that you have already gotten your answer. As I said, no more antilogic. Now, do not force us to do something regrettable. Just come with us for some brainwashing therapy.
Bhantomius: Never! I'd rather play cheese hockey with the giant fleas of the endless grasslands!
Oomba: Exactly! I'm not gonna miss my opportunity to show off my brand-new crystal globe gloss to the world!
Soon, all of the antilogicians start protesting. A few deadly spells fly through the air but pass right through the uninvited guests. Incredulous gasps can be heard.
Agent 1: Sorry, but you will have to. 2, who is the most mentally unstable of them?
Agent 2: That potato costumed guy would be my best guess. You! Come here.
Frikrates walks towards the agents. One of them takes a hypnotic pendulum from his pocket and swings it around, trying to break his mind.
Pyro: Oh no, they got Frikrates! I mean, he's already long gone, but what if...
Agent 2: Brainwash complete. Potato guy, cast a portal spell.
The potato-costumed mage conjures up a portal in the large door frame.
Agent 1: Great. Now, if you would please follow us... Anyone who tries ANYTHING will be brainwashed immediately, so don't even think about it. Potato guy, arrest them. Conjure some anti-antilogical handcuffs or something.
Frikrates summons energy handcuffs around everybody's hands. The last few powerful, though still ineffective spells vanish into thin air as the antilogicians realize the mess they're in.
Agent 2: Now. Come with us. You don't have a choice.
...said the Agent as he and his companion walked towards the gate, followed by those that were so much more powerful but had nonetheless been defeated. If only the captives knew that the Agents were vulnerable to only one thing. But, not knowing the Agents' weakness, they got transported away without a chance of escaping.
Oomba: I know their weakness! It's surprises! They can be caught off-guard, because they can only dodge what they can expect!
Agent 1: Shut up, you don't know ANYTHING!
You shut up and listen! Because now, I'm gonna explain the meaning of NO to you! You're NOT gonna take them!
...the Explainer cried as he materialized behind the Agents, reaching out to punch them. The Agents braced for the impact, ready and therefore invulnerable, but the strike flew right into their coat pocket, taking the hypnotic pendant and throwing it into the air towards...
Kroop! Now! No more time for explaining!
Kroop jumps into the air and blasts a stream of fire at the pendant, which shatters into a thousand scorched pieces.
Kroop: Sometimes I'm REALLY glad I don't have arms to be tied up! RAAAAHHHHH!!!
Agent 1: No! It can't be!
Agent 2: Oh no! He's freed the potato guy! The spell will break! Let's make a run for it!!
Suddenly, Pyro, freed from the cuffs, teleports right in front of the fleeing agents, taking them by surprise.
Pyro: Where do you think you're going? YOU... SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!
Pyro conjures up a hail of flaming bolts, but as expected, they pass right through. Still he continues, but one of the agents pins him to the floor and takes out a new pendant.
Agent 1: Oh, but I will pass! Because this is how it ends... Any last words?
Pyro: Actually, yes. First of all, who in existence is called "Hell O'Ween"? - I should have noticed that it was a fake name much earlier. And also, the second thing I wanted to say is, BYE-BYE!
Agent 1: Huh?!
...but what he had forgotten about was all the other freed antilogicians! And so, the ritual they had casted in the meantime succeded and the surprised Agents were forever banished, condemned to play cheese hockey with the giant fleas of the endless grasslands for the rest of eternity.
The End!
Agents: NOOOOOOO!!!!!
The Agents are sucked through the portal, screaming, and the portal slams shut behind them. Everybody cheers.
Bhantomius: And now, let us continue our Congress. First up is Frikrates. What have you got to tell us?
Frikrates: I'm not a potato anymore! Also, I invented something that's gonna revolutionize the softdrink industry - mayonnaise and fries-flavoured energy drink!
Bhantomius: That's very... interesting. Now - who's next?
Pyro: Kroop! Explainer! Oh, and you too, Narrator! Thank you so much for saving us. Although, I guess this is not the last we'll see of these Agents...
...said Pyro, worried. Little did he know, exactly HOW SOON he would be proven right...
Do you really know what's going to happen?
No, I'm just guessing. Probably.
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk)
On the morning of Thursday, November 7th, several residents of the New Wikisburg area awoke to find that their homes had been broken into. All of their tables had been carefully disassembled overnight, and the parts were unceremoniously left behind in piles where they once stood. Nothing was taken from the homes, and no other items were damaged, furniture or otherwise. As reports came in from across the city, it became evident that these bizarre crimes were not isolated incidents. The disassembling spree has continued nightly since then, with the culprit still remaining at large. The New Wikisburg Police Department has stated that the lack of any apparent pattern has made it particularly difficult to predict where they will strike next. In something of a twist, the latest disassembly at the time of writing did not take place in a residential home, but at the furniture store Toad's Stools. All of the models on the showfloor were found disassembled, however, all of the tables for sale were removed from their boxes and properly assembled. The store's manager, Commercialla T., begrudgingly commended the workmanship for putting together so many of these tables in a short timeframe and noted that they can be shifted to display models, but laments that the opened stock will now have to be sold at a heavy discount.
According to multiple eyewitnesses and corroborated by CCTV footage from Toad's Stools, the perpetrator is a lanky, humanoid figure who disguised their identity by covering their eyes and mouth. One eyewitness claims that the perpetrator referred to themselves as "the Table Disassembler" and spoke in a nasally voice, but they were not able to get any further information before being struck with a table leg and knocked unconscious. Because of the high amount of breaking-entering-and-disassemblings that have occurred in a short timeframe, and one night's spree not being localized to any particular area, it is still unclear if these are all the acts of this individual, or if there is a larger group involved. Authorities have noted that it would theoretically be possible for one person to be responsible if warp pipes and power-ups were being utilized. No motives are known at this time.
If you have any information on the "Table Disassembler" or have been the victim of a recent disassembly, please contact the New Wikisburg Police Department.
The Sunshine Travel Guide
Written by: TheBlueCatMenace and Boo1268
Autumn Heights: High-Tier Destination
Howdy folks, it's me, Cosmo, back again. I have a bit of a story to tell you. You see, a few weeks ago, I was approached by academic and fellow Fake News writer Boo1268, who had a proposition. He offered to take me on a trip to Autumn Heights, an island in the middle of nowhere.
Over a frankly delightful cup of tea, I accepted the request. However, there was a catch in our plan. Autumn Heights was currently uncharted, so we had to forage for food and stuff. Luckily we were still able to write this section, but for a while, I thought we were dead…
Cosmo's Travel Logs
Day 1 | Weather: Sunny | Morale: High
We've set foot on Autumn Heights. We're still down on the coast though. We've currently got a full kit of survival supplies, including tea leaves. I can make out a windmill on the horizon, which is weird because I thought this island was uninhabited. We've made camp for the night in a cave. Tomorrow we're planning to investigate the windmills.
Day 2 | Weather: Windy | Morale: Surprisingly high, considering the circumstances
NOOOOOOOO!!!!! OUR SURVIVAL SUPPLIES ARE RUINED!!!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!! Ahem, this morning we woke up to discover our camp was flooded by the rising tides. Fortunately Boo1268 had a spare supply of tea. I don't know how he does it. We decided to explore the windmills today.
It turns out that there was an entire community living on this island! I mean, I guess no one would check to see if random uncharted islands have civilization, but I'm still shocked. Boo1268 decided to do all the fancy academic stuff, and I just ate chocolate and cheese.
Day 3 | Weather: Overcast | Morale: Good
We decided to hike to Horstop Haltiza today, being told it was a nice town, with gift shops, for some reason. We didn't make it as far as we wanted to though, because halfway there we got ambushed by a rhino and got lost. We decided to cut our losses and make camp for the night.
Day 4 | Weather: RAIN RAIN RAIN | Morale: Worse than my childhood
We woke up soaking wet for the second time this trip. A massive storm had arrived, causing us to retreat into a cave. Our food rations are running low too, and I'm getting tired of chocolate and cheese…
Day 5 | Weather: Finally Sunny | Morale: Seeming better
FINALLY!! OH SWEET MUSHROOMS WE'RE SAVED!!! The rain FINALLY cleared up, and we didn't quite make it to Horstop Haltiza, but made it to the Apple Cider Inn. Unfortunately, the inn was run by a few Little Mousers, and we all know cats and mice don't mix… Fortunately I managed to fight back my natural urges. Anyway, I bought a few souvenirs, and for some reason, when I brought up the island being uncharted, everyone looked at me like I was crazy. Weirdos…
Day 6 | Weather: Cloudy | Morale: Confused
We've got a problem. Like, a big problem. This morning, Boo1268 and I got to Horstop Haltiza, only to run into a massive commotion. Apparently an artifact called "The Grand Horn" was stolen! The locals blamed us immediately, because their legal system is about as good as Isle Delfino's, so we had to make our escape. Don't even know how they thought we stole it, it's one big horn. We're planning to catch the criminals to prove our innocence. Wish us luck…
Day 7 | Weather: Stormy | Morale: Alright
Boo1268 and I found a great clue today. We were wondering how the thieves stole The Big Honkin' Horn, until we found a small backpack, terribly camouflaged. Putting a singular leaf on a backpack doesn't hide it. Anyway, inside we found a whole bunch of power up scraps, including the remains of a Mini Mushroom. Therefore, the thieves likely shrunk down The Big Honkin' Horn to make it easier to steal. We thankfully found a trail of chocolate and cheese, leading us to the Alpine Skyline Balloon Station.
The weather was ridiculously stormy, so the stall was closed, but fortunately we found an old hot air balloon in a ditch. It was still in pretty good condition, so we took it up. We barely survived the storm, in fact I even got struck by lightning! For some reason, instead of killing me instantly, it only shrunk me down for a few seconds. Then, our balloon crashed into the cliff. I survived thanks to my handy cat skills, and Boo1268 survived thanks to already being dead, so he couldn't die again. After THAT particular near-death experience, we decided to make camp for the night.
Day 8 | Weather: Oh NOW it's calm | Morale: Steadily rising
Good news! Only after about an hour of hiking, we found a fresh campsite. That means the thieves must have been here recently. There's bad news too, however. We're nearing Mount Owlminjara, following the trail the thieves left behind. Apparently it's an important place, so we need to take them out soon. We couldn't quite reach them today, but we'll stop them tomorrow.
Day 9 | Weather: Ominous | Morale: Strong
As we arrived at Mount Owlminjara today, we noticed two shadowy figures sneaking into The Court Of Owls. I sprinted towards them at full Cat Speed! I tackled one just as he was about to reach The Archives. We tussled for a bit, until he threw me off of him, and rolled into a fighting stance. His dumb bandana had ripped and fallen off, and I realized he was a Pianta!
"Cosmo, you will pay dearly for what you did to me and my buddy," He screamed. "I swear on my favorite pants that I, Bar D. Jokue, will defeat you and take my rightful place as esteemed writer for The Sunshine Travel Guide! Prepare to die!" Just as he lunged at me, the limp body of a Shy Guy slammed into me and sent me flying across the room.
"Noooo!! Guy!!" Bar D. Jokue burst into tears and began punching me over and over. I easily flipped him on his side and delivered a swift kick to the groin, incapacitating him. Boo1268 soon came floating in, with The Big Honkin' Horn, still shrunken. He apparently took out the Shy Guy while Bar D. Jokue was shouting. We tied up the two, descended the mountain, and returned The Big Honkin' Horn, after restoring it to its regular size, of course.
There was something I didn't understand, however. How did Bar D. Jokue and his pal get onto this island? It was uncharted, right? Well I decided to ask the locals, and it turns out… THIS ISLAND WAS NEVER UNCHARTED?!?! WHAT!?!?! HOW DID I GO FOR SO LONG WITHOUT ANYONE TELLING ME!?!? AGGHHHHH!!!!
History
Unfortunately, I wasn't really paying attention when Boo1268 told me about the history of the island, nor did I do any academic work while exploring, but fortunately my Boo buddy goes over the facts in detail in his own section.
Locations
Windmill Hills: A small scenic town located near the Autumn Woods. It's known for its stunning windmills which the residents use for power, and to help make their famous chocolate and cheese.
Horstop Haltiza: This town is only a few miles away from Windmill Hills. It is most famously known for its interest in music. The horns here are crafted with care, and this place is where you can find most of the gift shops. It's most famous for its notable landmarks, mainly the Großarting Corno or "Grand Horn", a humongous horn that actually functions! You can also find the world renowned Fonti Formaggio Cheese & Chocolate Bakery here.
Alpine Skyline: Come take a balloon ride up HIGH and see the scenic Alpine Incline. Being able to see the sprawling landscape from up high truly is a treat! Alongside that, you get to see all the strange but wonderful natural owl-shaped mountains, and if you can, stop and enjoy the naturally found Thermal Baths.
The Birds Nest (Wing Ding City): The capital of Autumn Heights, this place is located high up in the air and features one of the most notable landmarks, this being the Twilight Bell. This place is also the main home to the Hootz species. If you plan on visiting, rent a hot air balloon or get yourself a pair of wings.
Camembert Cavern (Crumble Cavern): This cavern is directly connected to the Fonti Formaggio Bakery, acting as a natural refrigerator for the plentiful amounts of cheese located here. Due to the moistness of the cave, with it being connected to a natural water source and all, this makes the cavern very much prone to collapsing rocks. Eating the cheese located here is ill-advised due to the Cheesy Chesters guarding the delicious dairy. Fun Fact!: It appears that the Chesters are in fact the ones responsible for making the cheese and also responsible for shipping it out, truly a fascinating corporation.
Apfelwein-Gasthaus: Also known as the Apple Cider Inn, this quaint little inn was founded by Mr. and Miss Mouslet, Little Mousers who migrated to the island some time ago. (Also, this place was where we stayed on our 5th day we got here. I don't know why but Cosmo insisted on sleeping outside for the first few nights. I kinda feel bad for the lad. I'll tell him I knew about this place before we got here? Maybe later).
Autumn Hill Sawmill: This sawmill is the main supplier for all the island's wood, allowing for the creation of many products. This place also handles the distribution of lumber to those who need it. They also create the minecarts for cheese shipping. This allows Autumn Heights to have high profits from said lumber. It is truly the life blood of the island. By the way, this place is very dangerous so be cautious.
Refurbished Kong Temple?: It's Cosmo here, tagging in to give Boo1268 a rest. He's done so much writing, it might as well be his section. Anyway, this temple was recently rediscovered and repaired by the Kong Archeologists. It's only open to the public very limitedly, as some of the later sections of the temple are too dangerous for the average Joe, but they're working on a safe scenic route.
Funky's Flights: Funky's Flights is an airport run by Funky Kong. It's currently only used to transport people from all around the world to different islands in the Archipelago of Kong. Somehow I went for ages without knowing this existed. Anyway, tagging Boo1268 in again.
Mount Owlminjara: The tallest mountain in Autumn Heights. It's so large and high you can see it from miles away! A bit of the peak is hollow, which allows for the Court Of Owls Courthouse to be stored here, alongside the island's archives.
(Treasure Chamber?): A hidden chamber filled to the brim with bananas and Banana Coins! I didn't tell Cosmo about it because I wasn't able to stay in it for long. I managed to grab 10 coins and was kicked out after only 30 seconds! I wasn't allowed to come back in even with my ghost powers! That place is beyond even me.
Attractions
Großarting Corno (Grand Horn): This massive horn was created using a massive tree known originally as the Elder Tree. It is commonly used for announcing meetings of the Grandcoucel located in the Court Of Owls.
The Twilight Bell: A mystical bell located in the Grand Bell Tower in Wing Ding City. It is used to announce the time, however some say the bell has connections to the Spirit Realm, and that even the spirits can hear the bell chimes. Fun Fact!: It is said that the bell was created from the debris of an asteroid, which may explain the spiritual connections the bell has.
Fonti Formaggio Bakery: The world renowned cheese and chocolate "factory", each batch handcrafted with all natural ingredients. Come see the process first hand! Fun Fact!: All products are made with locally sourced, farm fresh goat milk!
Mountain Thermal Baths: Enjoy the mineral rich Thermal Baths, located high up in the mountains. You may need to take a bit of a hike to get there, but in the end it's worth it. Fun Fact!: it is theorized that the owl-shaped imagery in the mountains was caused by a volcanic eruption and was not man-made. This heat is still present in the mountains which is what causes the Thermal Baths' heat!
The Court Of Owls: The main courthouse for all the island's political disputes. Made inside the mountain thanks to being hollow inside. It also acts as the island's archives. Many political problems happen here. Fun Fact: Did you know it's theorized that the mountain itself was originally a volcano? This might explain the hollow insides.
Yearly Pumpkin Carving Contest: We were just in time to see the yearly Pumpkin Carving Contest located in Windmill Hills, featuring many different pumpkin themed products, such as: Pumpkin Pie, Pumpkin Coffee, Pumpkin Cookies, and Pumpkin Soup! There were so many wonderful pumpkin carvings all brimming with personality! Fun Fact!: This competition always takes place sometime in November, because who says you can't carve pumpkins in November?
Catalog
You can buy these souvenirs from gift shops all over the island, even the Funky's Flights plane.
| Mini Bronze Bells | ||
|---|---|---|
|
These bells are styled to look like the ones in Wing Ding City. They're extremely expensive, but high quality. | |
| PRICE: | 200 coins | |
| Mini Alphorns | ||
|---|---|---|
|
No, it's smaller than the version in the image. The mini alphorn is very normal horn sized, and not the size of your entire body. | |
| PRICE: | 50 coins | |
| Puzzle Piece | ||
|---|---|---|
|
This was the strangest souvenir. Rather than selling you an entire puzzle set, they just sell each piece separately? You might even get doubles! This is beyond me... | |
| PRICE: | 1 coin per piece | |
| Hootz Figurine | ||
|---|---|---|
|
This Hootz Figurine is exclusive to the Funky's Flights capsule machine. It's very detailed, and can fly if you throw it really hard. | |
| PRICE: | 5 Banana Coins | |
| Authentic Milk Chocolate | ||
|---|---|---|
|
This delicious chocolate is freshly made and wrapped in authentic Autumn Hill Sawmill paper. If you're worried about cats eating chocolate, don't worry, I built up a tolerance! | |
| PRICE: | 5 coins | |
| Goat Milk Cheese | ||
|---|---|---|
|
More freshly made food, this cheese is fresher than fresh. Though, I don't appreciate the holes someone put in it. | |
| PRICE: | 20 coins | |
Practical Advice
Not much to say here, but here's a short list.
Travel
For goodness sake, make sure you know that Funky's Flights exists. Otherwise, things will get embarrassing. Funky's Flights have their own airports, so you'll probably have to make a bit of a trek to get to one. Good luck finding one. Also, don't worry, they've switched to actual planes rather than firing you out of a barrel.
Weather
The weather swings unpredictably at Autumn Heights, so the best you can do is pack lots of different kinds of clothes and gear.
Food
There's plenty of food at Autumn Heights, but the island's specialties include chocolate, cheese, fruits, and especially bananas.
Conclusion
Phew! It's nice to be back home, if home were 'Shroom HQ. I still can't get over the fact that no one told me this island was charted and fully inhabited. At least I made it back alive. Still, I can't shake the feeling that there's some loose end I didn't tie up. Oh well…
Autumn Heights Jail
"What do you mean they escaped?" The chief of Autumn Heights Police was pacing back and forth in his office. He had just been given news that the newest prisoners, who stole The Grand Horn, had managed to escape. "How could you let this happen?!" The Hootz in front of his desk cowered.
"Sorry sir, I'm just the messenger," the Hootz stammered nervously. "Bad excuse," the Chief shouted. "You're fired!!!" "Sir, I'm a citizen. The police were all busy at the crime scene, so they asked me to deliver the message." "...So I can't fire you?" "Sorry, but no." The Chief sighed. This day couldn't get any worse…
How did Bar D. Jokue escape jail? What could this mean for our hero? And will anyone ever give me a suggestion for a location by contacting me on the forums? Find out next time on The Sunshine Travel Guide!!!
| The 'Shroom: Issue 212 | |
|---|---|
| Staff sections | Staff Notes • The 'Shroom Spotlight • Poochy's Picks • Awards Director Election • Credits |
| Features | Fake News • Fun Stuff • Palette Swap • Pipe Plaza • Critic Corner • Strategy Wing |
| Specials | Mario And Luigi Brothership Custom Instruction Manual |
