The 'Shroom:Issue 214/Critic Corner
Director's Notes
Hello everyone, welcome to the new year! 2025! Wow!! I remember when it was 1999 turning into 2000 and scared out of my mind because I was a kid who had been hearing stories about Y2K catastrophes and spent the night crying; if only I knew what real horrors were waiting for me a quarter-century later. While we all persist despite reality existing, why not try some escapism from your own life and listen to what we've been up to?? Let's go!
Thank you for voting Half-Baked Reviews as December's Critic Corner Section of the Month!! Be sure to give your love to all of our sections here, and give a shout out to our writers whether in chat or in their forum threads dedicated to their sections. Be sure to vote vote vote!
And now for my regular announcements: We've decided to implement in Critic Corner something similar to News Flush over in Fake News, where no formal sign-up application process is required for one-time or limited sections. From now on if you just want to send in a single review for something you just read, watched played, tried, whatever, you just have to send me your review privately either to me directly in chat, or in a message to me on the forum at least one week before each 'Shroom is to be released! There's no commitment or obligation to provide a full monthly section (although you absolutely can shift it into one if you so choose), just send us your thoughts on a thing and we'll feature it here! If you have any questions or curiosities about this, please feel free to ask!
As always, if you would like to help Critic Corner, we always have openings for more writers! You are free to write for sections such as Character Review and Movie Review, or really anything you'd like to do! There's no pressure to have a huge section; they can be shorter and concise! The application process is very simple, starting with reading the Sign Up page, and sending your application to Meta Knight on the forum. Any idea you have is welcome, and if you have any questions or need help signing up, please feel free to reach out to myself or other 'Shroom peeps!
Section of the Month
| CRITIC CORNER SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | Anton's Half-Baked Reviews | 14 | 51.85% | Hypnotoad (talk) |
| 2nd | A Critical Review of Why Brothership Failed Critically | 9 | 33.33% | Paper Plumm (talk) |
| 3rd | The Peanuts Sessions | 3 | 11.11% | Waluigi Time (talk) |
'Shroom FM
Welcome to the FIFTH ANNUAL 'SHROOM FM AWARDS 2024 where we look at the best and worst albums from 2024 and EPs which are shorter than albums, usually. 2024 was a fairly good year for music and a relatively good year for chart music which is rare. I could go on about that but I get a few words into a sentence about Brat Summer or Kendrick vs. Drake or Sabrina Carpenter and realise that I have nothing to add and we are now over halfway through January. The year is basically over, we have not had any new trends yet. We need to write this one off and start stockpiling feuds and new pop stars for 2026.
I don't have anywhere else to mention this but I saw three artists on this list live in 2024 - Arooj Aftab, Friko and Magdalena Bay. All very good!
Honourable Mentions
I have a few. Less than last year I think?
- Clairo - Charm - Aptly this is really charming stuff.
- Machine Girl - MG ULTRA - Not my favourite of theirs but the bangers here definitely bang.
- ØKSE - ØKSE - Very immense, very avant-garde jazz from Norway with some hip-hop influence (and some guest features from artists such as Billy Woods and Elucid which are among its stronger moments).
- Billie Eilish - HIT ME HARD AND SOFT - Very solid pop album, out of the two Billie albums I've listened to I don't think this one sucks so it's currently winning!
- Julia Holter - Something in the Room She Moves - Album didn't click as much as I wanted it to sadly, but I have to at least highlight "Spinning" which is one of the best songs of the year.
- Fat Dog - WOOF. - See above, substitute "Spinning" for "Running". Actually there are a good few bangers here.
- Jay Tholen - New Active Object - Interesting project here from the creator of Hypnospace Outlaw, which just dropped right at the end of 2024. Crafted using samples from 90s game-making software sound libraries which gives it a very unique, surreal atmosphere. There's a companion game coming this year too.
Top 40 Albums of 2024
| #40 |  |
Oren Ambarchi / Johan Berthling / Andreas Werliin Ghosted II |
#39 |  |
Nilüfer Yanya My Method Actor |
| Murky and atmospheric jazz, perfect to relax to late at night. | I liked her first two albums more, but it has grown on me slightly. | ||||
| #38 |  |
Rona Mac Honeymilk and Heavy Weather |
#37 |  |
Bill Ryder-Jones Iechyd Da |
| A really personal and emotive folk album, very immersive. | Really imaginative and evocative songwriting - often very melancholic but a few bright spots. | ||||
| #36 |  |
Mannequin Pussy I Got Heaven |
#35 |  |
English Teacher This Could Be Texas |
| It's a good indie rock record, no reinventing the wheel here but who needs that. | Imaginative, confident and charming, much better than their band name implies. | ||||
| #34 |  |
Hiatus Kaiyote Love Heart Cheat Code |
#33 |  |
salute True Magic |
| Solid neo-soul which completely goes off the rails at the end. | It's fresh! It's fun! It's fast! A big 'F' all round! Wait, no... | ||||
| #32 |  |
Charli XCX Brat |
#31 |  |
Storefront Church Ink & Oil |
| Hmm. Yes. I think it is pretty 'Brat'. | Super unique and well-crafted chamber pop; interesting dramatic turn in the second half. | ||||
| #30 |  |
Adorável Clichê Sonhos que nunca morrem |
#29 |  |
Priori This But More |
| Dreamy and lush; sublime guitarwork and vocals. Heavier stuff is super cool too. | Lot of cool textures here, very deep and mysterious and well-crafted. | ||||
| #28 |  |
NewDad Madra |
#27 |  |
The Cure Songs of a Lost World |
| Many songs here that I keep coming back to. Great sound to this. | Very Disintegration-esque. It's great to hear them back, and Robert Smith still sounds excellent. | ||||
| #26 |  |
Joey Valence & Brae NO HANDS |
#25 |  |
Clarence Clarity VANISHING ACT II: ULTIMATE REALITY |
| Went a bit off this briefly, but well back on it now. Fun, bombastic and really catchy. | Wild and inventive and chaotic electropop. And yeah, what year is this? | ||||
| #24 |  |
Vampire Weekend Only God Was Above Us |
#23 |  |
Mount Kimbie The Sunset Violent |
| Bright, fresh and great fun when it's noisy - very cool production. | Deep, mellow and atmospheric instrumentally, yet vocals are very down-to-earth. Works really well. | ||||
| #22 |  |
Jaubi A Sound Heart |
#21 |  |
Liana Flores Flower of the Soul |
| It's a nice and vivid jazz album with a neat, well-executed concept. | Absolutely lovely folk pop to sink into; really soothing and laid back. | ||||
| #20 |  |
Jessica Pratt Here in the Pitch |
#19 |  |
Joanna Wang Hotel La Rut |
| Such a unique and oddly inticing atmosphere to this. Pratt's vocal style works perfectly here, gives this a really timeless feel. | Massively fun from start to finish, just a huge amount of creativity and energy in even the shortest songs here. | ||||
| #18 |  |
Kendrick Lamar GNX |
#17 |  |
Jack White NO NAME |
| Caps off one hell of a year for Kendrick, massively bold and charismatic. Production and beats really neat, too. | Never checked out any of Jack White's solo work before but loved this. I got my dad this on CD for Christmas and he seems to like it, so Jack White is now officially 'dad rock'. | ||||
| #16 |  |
Father John Misty Mahashmashana |
#15 |  |
Zach Bryan The Great American Bar Scene |
| Wasn't massive on Father John Misty until I listened to this; the best moments here - the longer tracks particularly - are breathtaking. | A very raw and well-written Americana album; long and sprawling, and still manages to feel engaging throughout and full of character. | ||||
| #14 |  |
death's dynamic shroud & Galen Tipton You Like Music |
#13 |  |
Confidence Man 3AM (La La La) |
| Listening to this reminds you that there has never been a better time to like music than now, and that you like music. | Very much feels like the most realised project from Confidence Man so far. Probably annoying if you hate it but bangs if you can get past that barrier! | ||||
| #12 |  |
Álex Anwandter Dime precioso |
#11 |  |
Iglooghost Tidal Memory Exo |
| Relatively short - especially when compared to his last album - but brilliant dance-pop album, full of really catchy and fun tunes. | Sharp and precise right from the start, with a super vivid, oceanic atmosphere. Absolutely sublime production. |
| #10 |  |
Friko - Where we've been, where we go from here |
|---|---|---|
| A hugely impressive debut which has such a bold and infectious energy, consistently feels fresh and new and exciting while still evoking that general 00s indie rock sound. Vocals, guitars and drums are all excellent, and do a great job of just erupting into these huge, cathartic anthems, or slowly building up as the song progresses. Very versatile too in the album's quieter, slower moments. | ||
| #9 |  |
Geordie Greep - The New Sound |
| Lyrically insane (I may have used the word insane elsewhere in this section but I don't mean it anywhere as much as here). Greep is really, really good at creating characters and voices and scenes through the lyrics here, accentuated well by his often-frantic vocal style. The songs here all progress in really cool and interesting, often chaotic ways, and there's a wide range of styles and instrumentation slotted in effortlessly. Bold title but more than lives up to it. | ||
| #8 |  |
Fontaines D.C. - Romance |
| Really cementing their place as one of the best bands around right now. Romance is just full of total bangers, even outside of the obvious stuff like "Starburster" or "Favourite". Grian Chatten brings such a huge energy throughout this (as do the rest of the band, of course) and it's an absolute joy to listen to. Instrumentation and production are grand as well. | ||
| #7 |  |
Floating Points - Cascade |
| Amazingly dense and dynamic; many long and deep songs to get lost in and frankly some of the longest here left me wishing they went on even longer so they could progress more and more. Synthwork is incredible, so many disgustingly good noises here; percussion is really intricate and tight as well, and the two work together like clockwork. The way fades out at the end, on a softer, more ambient note with "Ablaze", is very rewarding. | ||
| #6 |  |
Magdalena Bay - Imaginal Disk |
| Built up a lot of hype with the singles and the full album did not disappoint at all. Very heavy and conceptual, with a lot of surreal and nostalgic imagery used to evoke its central "story". Manages to tell that cohesively while also putting out some of the best pop songs of the year. Really fun and creative in every corner, does not disappoint at all. | ||
| #5 |  |
3776 - The Birth and Death of the Universe Through Mount Fuji |
| Honestly so dense that I think you could listen to this many, many times and still notice plenty of new things. The way the songs are tied into the themes - the titular birth and death of the universe explored step-by-step, represented by much more lowkey personal struggles - while still retaining its focus on Mt. Fuji, very much at the core of the band itself - is phenomenal. So much detail packed into every moment here, and plenty of great pop songs. | ||
| #4 |  |
Johnny Blue Skies - Passage du desir |
| An immaculate, warm country album that just clicked instantly with me; full of gorgeously bittersweet and evocative tracks, with heartfelt and interesting songwriting behind them. Guitarwork is obviously excellent but there's some gorgeous strings which too punctuate the most poignant moments here. Simpson's laid-back and soulful vocal performance also really adds to this. | ||
| #3 |  |
Blood Incantation - Absolute Elsewhere |
| As implied by the name, just a massive album. There's long passages across this album as things shift and evolve, with plenty of variety in the instrumentation, including some very cool synthwork (on a death metal album). The harder and softer moments feel earned, and both are just as engaging and atmospheric. Really awe-inspiring stuff. | ||
| #2 |  |
Arooj Aftab - Night Reign |
| Enjoyed Vulture Prince when that came out and took a while to check this out, but it is so good. The atmosphere Aftab cultivates here is phenomenal, with a wide range of instrumentation. The album also explores and blends different and genres and styles seamlessly, including chamber folk, jazz and Pakistani folk music. It's a perfect album to listen to on a summer evening. | ||
| #1 |  |
Nala Sinephro - Endlessness |
| A really incredible album, one that's perfect for a long journey; the synths and other electronic elements just weave together and intertwine with the acoustic instruments in such a natural and enriching way. Sometimes the way it changes are subtle, and sometimes it all just swells up and surrounds you, and it's perfect at doing both. Feels like a full, complete journey. |
Best EPs of the Year
My favourite EP of the year has to be Club Shy by Shygirl - a fairly short and uncomplicated but excellent collection of house songs. Every song feels interesting in its own way and it's just pure fun to listen to.
Nourished by Time's Catching Chickens is a really versatile and engaging project; he has a unique alt-pop-R&B sound and its strengths are clearly on display here, particularly in the production and instrumentation. Vocals are great too. Also enjoyed Mei Semones' Kabutomushi a lot - a very bright and lush pop EP, with some gorgeous instrumentation and well-written songs.
Connla's Well by Maruja is really cool; very dark and heavy post-punk. Huge energy throughout, particularly from the vocalist.
While I didn't love it overall, it's hard not to commend P.O.P. by Marina Satti for its very bold ideas. Great work!
Worst Albums of the Year
It's not been too long since I initially reviewed it but my feelings haven't changed at all about Mk.gee's Two Star & the Dream Police. The forced "lo-fi"-ness of it all just grates on me so much, and it's so murky and drab that even its relatively short running time starts to drag very early. I'd highlight it as my least favourite album of the year but that's largely a matter of personal taste and there's others that are definitely 'worse' - Early Twenties by Cat Burns, for instance, with virtually no songs interesting or exciting enough to elevate her voice as a songwriter.
I was very underwhelmed by The Smile’s Wall of Eyes, to the point where I’ve not even bothered checking out whatever their other album from this year was. To be brutally honest, I feel like the “Radiohead but it’s not” well of ideas is looking pretty dry by now. (No offense to the non-Radiohead guy but he's on every jazz album that comes out of London so I think he's doing alright.)
A massive disappointment for me this year was Kelly Lee Owens' new album Dreamstate - 2020's Inner Song was one of my favourite albums of the year, and 2022's LP.8 wasn't great but definitely tried something different. Dreamstate is just so, so sanitised and safe, any energy here just falls completely flat. "Rise" and "Sunshine" are both really good but unfortunately most of the rest just falls right back into being competent at best. The final track "Trust and Desire", is abysmal - a sluggish, bland ballad which hardly develops over nearly five whole minutes, with lyrics just consisting of uninspired 'live-laugh-love' tier platitudes. It's not even the only ballad on this HOUSE ALBUM. Why is it all so stagnant?
Let's talk about Brat and It's Completely Different but Also Still Brat. It's not good and it's not even 'brat' when you get down to it. The remixes here largely fall into two categories - the first being those don't feel changed much from the original outside of an extra verse ("360", "Girl, so confusing", "Guess"), the second being those that have been changed up quite a bit but are just a worse version of the original song ("Apple", "Von dutch", "Club classics", "I might say something stupid", "So I"). There's barely anything here that feels as bold or experimental as it should, that feels like it reflects the ethos of the whole 'brat' thing, as far as my understanding of it goes. Ever since the full list of features for this was revealed, it's always felt a bit underwhelming to me. Billie? Ariana? Addison Rae? These are just... normal artists. Why is A.G. Cook featured on two of the tracks, I thought he was on most of them already? There's no real surprises or curveballs here, apart from Jon Hopkins (maybe The Japanese House). I thought the only two worthwhile remixes here were "Talk talk" and "365", and the latter just ends early out of nowhere right as it starts to get going. A remix album doesn't necessarily need to be better than the original, just distinct enough to stand out separately, but so often this did neither. Sorry. Brat Summer is over. Welcome to the Brat Hangover.
That's the end of 2024! Happy New Year and see you in February, or maybe March? Or maybe even April? Who knows!
A Curse Crackers: For Whom The Bell Toils Review
Written by: Paper Plumm (talk)
Hello yello, and welcome to another review. I obviously could discuss another Mario RPG, but I worry discussing the same things will burn out very quickly. So instead, I'm going to discuss something as far from that topic as I can, a 2-D pixel puzzle platformer by a humble indie team, Curse Crackers: For Whom The Bell Toils. I really got into this game in December and absolutely got hooked on it. Since it's a more obscure game, I really want to spread the word so others can gush on it too. Let's get into it!
From a story standpoint, Curse Crackers takes a very interesting point. While its surface story is simple yet compelling, it really is not the main focus here. From my understanding, Colorgrave (Curse Crackers' developers) is developing a universe of games with a complex and intricate world. By having a simpler story, Curse Crackers instead uses this as a backdrop to build and develop its world. The world of Ledamara is incredibly well written and built, and its efforts are certainly not wasted.
The basic story of Curse Crackers revolves around Belle and her partner, Chime, a mysterious sentient bell-like object, who go on a journey to rescue Belle's boyfriend Clyde from Belle's childhood friend Bonnie. While this may seem a bit basic, the story takes a very Kirby-esque style with some crazy late game shenanigans under a cool lore backdrop. I don't want to get too deep into it as I'm pretty confident much of the audience reading this haven't played it, and this is the sort of experience I would rather not spoil.
Gameplay-wise, Curse Crackers is a platformer through and through. Belle can run, do somersaults, high jumps, and bounce off of enemies. Chime is also controlled by Belle and can be thrown in any direction, and is used in all manner of ways throughout the environment, from being thrown on switches to being used as a double jump by Belle. Chime additionally can eat special sweets which give them special timed abilities, such as becoming an inflated hot air bell, and a longer throwing range. Belle can also enhance herself with artifacts which are gotten as side quest rewards. These also have varying effects, from a non Chime-induced double jump and a paraglider, while others had more niche applications like sliding into enemies to heal. Each level has numerous collectibles and typically ends in either a goal which you have to throw Chime into to end the level or bosses. Bosses in this game are well designed and each world features at least two. These oftentimes have incredibly unique concepts as well, some of my favourite include a rock and roll duel as well as a game of dead man's volley. While the gameplay may sound a bit confusing at first, once it's figured out it flows really well. The game's set pieces are incredibly well designed at making sure these chains can work as well, allowing one to bounce from obstacle to obstacle.
In terms of settings for the platformer, these are also just as great. The main areas of the game are really fun and unique. Additionally, the first three areas have a hollow variant, which are more challenging variants, as well a few extra bonus levels. All of this variety really helps to keep the game enjoyable. The world map also features a bunch of smaller settlements and shops and even a city to explore. Most of these areas typically feature a rotating cast of characters as well, with more than a few giving out some interesting sidequests that help tie the world together. The city Grevenfell additionally features a card minigame and a library where books you've collected in the levels can be read, and of which help to tie the world together. These settings are helped in great part by the game's tremendously good soundtrack. Whether it is the calming tune of Grevenfell, or the bouncy upbeat feel of the first world, each piece is incredibly catchy and will leave you humming them for weeks afterwards.
Speaking of collectibles, let's talk about them, as this game is very much collectible oriented. Each level is sort of linear, however, there are numerous hidden secrets in them. Each level features three Ardel Roses, each one being typically visible, however usually in a tough to reach spot. These really work as a basic collectible for the level, however there isn't much of an incentive for them outside of a cool new skin for Chime. Each of these collectables typically only gives payoff for gaining all of them; however, this one is exclusively used as a story progression gate instead. The other main collectible are the challenge medals. Each level has three, a speedrun, longshot and target one. Target ones have you find a hidden target room in the level and hit all five targets in the room. These are typically clever little challenges, and especially near the end got really hard. Longshot challenges have you have to throw Chime as far away from the end goal target as possible, in the case of targetless end goals such as boss levels, you have to beat the level without taking damage. Speedrun medals have you beat the level in the allotted time, these in particular are extremely hard as the time given offers little to no leeway. If you can get all of these medals, you'll get another bonus Chime skin. It's a shame there isn't a good reward for doing this, because this is a challenge that deserves it for the amount of work you must put in. Next are the aforementioned books, these are exclusively found in the first four main worlds. These collectibles not only unlock a pretty invaluable artifact, but each individual book typically provides worldbuilding for the various traditions and cultures of the world. They are typically off the beaten path in a hidden wall or the like. These probably are my favourite due to how much use I've gotten out of all of the rewards it gives. Next are the Oath Blades. There is one in each main level of the game and typically has a small platforming challenge you must complete to gain one. In accordance with the game's lore, one of the scales (who are basically the gods of the world), Oathbind, split her soul into a series of blades which were scattered across the world, and bringing them together will reward you with a special power of the scales. Lost Souls are another collectible, being in plain sight with little to no difficulty to gain them, and being sporadically placed throughout the world. Again, this one feels even more like padding than the roses with there being not much of a reward, outside of a very interesting series of conversations with the soul collector, Riley. Next are the arc fragments, of which there is one hidden in each main world and two in each hollow as a reward for beating them. These help to build a gate in the library and give access to a great final bonus level. Another collectible-like thing is the Mages, who you rescue one of in each world. I love this one as each character is typically very interesting and has a fun side quest associated with them. Finally, there are the thirteen golden tickets which are hidden throughout in some of the hardest to find areas, and feature clever riddles or challenging platforming stages based on a specific artifact. These unlock a circus area that juggles massive story revelations while balancing on a tightrope of a challenging boss. These easily have the most individual merit, and of the collectibles, these are the ones I recommend collecting the most. A lot of these collectibles are really not about the destination, they focus heavily on the journey. A lot of these are genuinely fun challenges to find and gain, but I do wish there was more of an incentive with a lot of these.
Additionally, Curse Crackers features two side modes. The first one, an arcade mode, basically has one traversing straight through all the levels while racking up the most points. It's definitely a lot of fun to try and do so. Additionally, you can play through the adventure again as Bonnie, who has her own moveset. However, there is a significantly smaller story and a lack of unique character dialogue for Bonnie. So while the mode is fun, it unfortunately feels a lot more empty in comparison to the main mode, even if it features all the same content.
Curse Crackers is a great game and is one of my favourites this year with its snappy yet unique platforming, gorgeous soundtrack and excellent story, world and characters. While it is bogged down by having too many collectibles and weak side modes, this isn't enough to make this game problematic. I highly recommend trying it out.
I'm currently in the process of moving to New Wikisburg as well as working on another project in relation to that. So I wanted to do something a bit more quicker this time while I worked on that. My New Year's resolution has been to get more involved in the communities I care about, so I figured I'd start it off right by showcasing one I care about, the Curse Crackers community. I would also want to thank you all again for your support, my finale article managed to get first! That's huge, I hope you all enjoyed the Brothership article as well even if it aged poorly almost as soon as I posted it. Hope everyone starts their New Year off right, and as always, drive safely!
Book Review
| The Stolen Queen | |
|---|---|
| |
| Author | Fiona Davis |
| Release date | 2025 |
| Genre | historical fiction |
| Pages | 352 |
| Available From | |
Greetings, readers, and welcome to a new year of Book Reviews! Today, I'll be excavating the treasures of The Stolen Queen by Fiona Davis!
2025's reading season has already started off with a bang for me as my first scheduled book trip was earlier this month and included three books from authors I had read before and was eager to read again. This book, however, is not one of those- I saw an ad for it from Book of the Month, and after reading the summary they provided, I was hopeful that this story was for me. As my second book read of this year, let's jump in and review it, shall we?
The year is 1978. Charlotte Cross, an assistant curator at New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art, works day in and day out with artifacts from ancient Egypt, unable to shake her interest in the country even after a traumatic experience in her youth while she was on a dig as a budding archaeologist. She is working on a groundbreaking discovery involving the ancient Egyptian queen Hathorkare that could upend some of her colleagues' research on Egypt, until an ancient necklace (a broad collar) belonging to Hathorkare is delivered to the Met for display. This is the same as the one Charlotte herself discovered on her disastrous dig, and it is not supposed to be outside of Egypt. Charlotte must discover the secrets behind the broad collar's appearance in New York City, before disaster strikes and all of her research on Hathorkare is destroyed.
The year is 1978. Annie Jenkins lives with her manipulative mother, Joyce, in the basement apartment of their landlady's house, waitressing at a nearby diner and cleaning the landlady's house in exchange for a discount on their rent. Annie dreams of working in the fashion industry, and one day, her landlady sends her on an errand to deliver a prop to Diana Vreeland at the Met for the Met Gala's showcase of ballet costumes. Once she meets Diana, Annie's sharp eye and sense of style endear her to the woman, and Diana offers her a position as her assistant. On her first day, Annie suggests that a newly delivered artifact to the Met could be used in the display of one of the costumes- an ancient necklace (a broad collar) from the Egypt exhibition. But when the Gala goes terribly wrong, Annie is blamed for a major theft, and she must work to clear her name and rescue a priceless artifact from the black market.
I was cautiously optimistic about this book, as the last time I had gotten excited about a book involving ancient Egypt, it was the disastrous What the River Knows duology from last year. I love reading about archaeology, and ancient Egypt, and The Stolen Queen is everything I wanted What the River Knows to be. It tells Charlotte's story of love and loss while on her dig in Egypt while leaping forward to see what Charlotte and Annie are doing in New York, but the moment Charlotte's tale in Egypt has been told, the book jumps back to 1978 and stays there. It's fast-paced, and you will never find yourself getting bored once the characters have been introduced and the story gets going. The setting of the Met is lovely to read about, Davis describing the exhibits and the big archives of artifacts and art that the museum keeps. Charlotte's trip to Egypt is detailed and I felt like I was right there beside her in the tombs, watching her making a massive discovery.
Let's talk about Charlotte and Annie next. Charlotte has been through a lot, but you can really feel her passion for Egypt coming through every chapter. She's been beaten down over and over, both from the trauma that she suffered in 1936 and from being a woman in the late 1970s where she is still struggling to get her research published against the opposition of her boss. I loved how strong she is, and how she finally allows herself to show weakness to others and find her own way in the world. In contrast to that, Annie is just a teenager struggling to get by. Her mother is a model who struggles to find work but has no problems spending their food budget on makeup, and I felt bad for Annie, that she is trapped in that situation with little way to get out. Annie, however, is quite scrappy. She doesn't give up, even in the face of her whole world crumbling around her after the Met Gala. I was rooting for her the whole book, and her quick thinking and genuine heart endear her to everyone.
The Stolen Queen is a whirlwind journey that will have you cheering for Charlotte and Annie while you marvel at the splendor of Egypt and the Met. It's a treat of a novel, a book that truly feels fabulous and fascinating at the same time. I honestly can't recommend this book enough to you, especially if you are someone who enjoys National Treasure, Lupin III, or Indiana Jones. I especially can't recommend this book to you enough if you if you were disappointed by What the River Knows, like I was. If you love a good story about archaeology or ancient Egypt, give this one a try.
That's all for me this month, readers! I've got a lot of great books in store this year, so I'll see you next time and we'll talk about a graphic novel!
The Peanuts Sessions
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk)
Guess what, 'Shroom readers? The holidays are over, which means it's time to talk about the soundtrack for an obscure-ish Peanuts special again! This month I'm covering the soundtrack to You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown, which just came out back in September 2024. This one's all about Linus running for student body president (Charlie Brown never actually runs after Lucy's preliminary poll shows him getting destroyed, hence the title). For anyone who wants to listen, here's the Vince Guaraldi YouTube channel playlist.
| # | Title | Time |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Incumbent Waltz | 1:20 |
| 2 | You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown | 0:14 |
| 3 | Oh, Good Grief! | 1:02 |
| 4 | Cookin' Snoopy (Fast Piano Jazz) | 0:16 |
| 5 | Blue Charlie Brown | 0:34 |
| 6 | Incumbent Waltz (Reprise) | 0:50 |
| 7 | Linus And Lucy / Poor Charlie Brown | 0:59 |
| 8 | Joe Cool (Vocal) | 5:03 |
| 9 | Incumbent Waltz (2nd Reprise) | 1:46 |
| 10 | Elect Linus (Dilemma) / Woodstock's Wake Up | 0:45 |
| 11 | Joe Cool (Unused Reprise) | 1:21 |
| 12 | Oh, Good Grief! (Reprise) | 0:54 |
| 13 | Deserted Charlie Brown | 1:06 |
| 14 | You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown (Reprise) | 1:16 |
| 15 | Linus And Lucy (Reprise) | 1:18 |
| 16 | You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown (2nd Reprise - End Credits) | 1:02 |
| 17 | Joe Cool (Alternate Take 1) | 2:54 |
| 18 | Joe Cool (Alternate Rehearsal Take) | 1:20 |
| 19 | Blue Charlie Brown (Alternate Take 1) | 0:33 |
| 20 | African Sleigh Ride | 3:02 |
| 21 | Cookin' Snoopy (Fast Piano Jazz) (Alternate Take 1, 2 & 3) | 0:43 |
| 22 | Incumbent Waltz (2nd Reprise) (Alternate Take 1) | 1:43 |
| 23 | Incumbent Waltz (2nd Reprise) (Alternate Take 3) | 1:43 |
| 24 | Incumbent Waltz (Unused Cue) | 1:45 |
| 25 | Linus And Lucy (Acoustic Piano Mix) | 0:46 |
You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown was early on in Guaraldi's experimental era, so this is where things really start to get a little bit funkier. Lots of interesting stuff going on with this one! It's the first special to heavily use electronic instruments, there's some Dixieland in here because why not, and the highlight is undoubtedly "Joe Cool", the theme for one of Snoopy's many alter-egos with Guaraldi's vocals (predating "Little Birdie" from Thanksgiving by a year).
Ah, and speaking of "Little Birdie", the latter portion of track 10, "Woodstock's Wake Up", is especially significant since it was the first time Guaraldi scored a scene featuring Woodstock. (Not the first time that Woodstock appeared in animation, however. His proper debut was earlier that year in the film Snoopy Come Home, the only Peanuts project without Guaraldi's involvement during his lifetime - the music was instead done by the Sherman Brothers of Disney fame.) It's a pretty short piece, not even taking up half of the track's 45 second runtime, and it's just flute with some quiet piano backing, but manages to be very distinctive nonetheless. The flute became heavily associated with Woodstock, even as composers changed over the years, and I feel that he was one of very few Peanuts characters to get a real "sound" to him. The only other ones I could say this applies to are Snoopy's desert-dwelling brother Spike (who we won't be getting to at all in this section, since he didn't appear in animation until long after Guaraldi's passing) and maybe Schroeder with his association with Beethoven, but that's mostly just him playing the piano and not ever really part of the score elsewhere, so I don't know if that counts. Other characters get motifs associated with them (e.g. Peppermint Patty) but there's not much going on to set them apart from the rest of the soundtrack. I just went on a tangent there, didn't I? Better get back to the point.
So yeah. Jazz. This is another solid album, yet again. There's a few returning tracks from earlier specials, although they've been heavily rearranged here. Aside from the reprise of "Linus And Lucy", if you didn't have a track listing then I don't find it unlikely that you might think the entire album was brand new compositions. The compositions that are actually brand new take up most of the space here. "Incumbent Waltz" is a pretty good one that pops up a few times through the special. I like the first rendition the best since it feels the most like the earlier soundtracks to me. My favorite, though, has to be "Joe Cool". I mean, come on, just look at the name! You set out to make a theme song for a character with cool in their name and you get a song that is, in fact, cool. There's even an unused instrumental reprise! Kind of a shame because it's pretty good, but I can see why they scrapped it for the special since the main track is already five minutes long. Oddly, it's included with the main tracks instead of the bonus ones - my theory is that it was meant to be used in the special before getting cut, so that's why it's there. The actual bonus tracks are pretty standard stuff, mostly alternate takes plus "African Sleigh Ride", which wasn't used on You're Not Elected but ended up appearing on the next special, There's No Time For Love, Charlie Brown.
I do appreciate that the Dixieland influence is only on the renditions of "You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown", which appears as tracks 2, 14, and 16. Not that I have anything against it, but these more or less bookend the main tracks, making a more coherent listening experience. I imagine if it was constantly swapping back and forth between Dixieland and the more traditional jazz style of the other tracks, it would be a little bit like musical whiplash. Although, if we're talking whiplash, going straight from one of the most melancholy points of the soundtrack in "Deserted Charlie Brown" to the bombastic in comparison "You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown" is quite the mood rollercoaster.
There's quite a few shorter tracks on here - seven of the main ones are less than a minute long - but unlike Short Summer, I don't think that's actually to this album's detriment. Even the shorter tracks here feel pretty well-developed, and I don't walk away from them with a sense of "that's it?". If you'll venture with me a bit into the land of musical things I'm probably not qualified to talk about, I think the main reason for this is the amount of new compositions on this album. Short Summer had a lot of returning themes from earlier Peanuts specials that had to be crammed into short scenes. Here, the shorter songs feel more like proper incidental pieces. They're composed specifically for shorter scenes, so they're able to get in, do their thing, and get out. There's also a lot less tracks here competing for attention - compare Short Summer's whopping 26 main tracks to You're Not Elected's more standard 16. So there's a lot more room for the key tracks - "Incumbent Waltz", "You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown", and of course "Joe Cool" - to shine.
This has been going for a while so before you get bored and stop reading, I'm going to do the usual casual/completionist perspectives and then sign off. For a casual listener, this album holds up pretty well and feels pretty tonally consistent as a whole, for the most part. The mood whiplash from "Deserted Charlie Brown" is the biggest sticking point, but uh, honestly it's not that great of a track anyway, so maybe just skip that one! The Dixieland feels a lot more appropriate coming off of "Oh, Good Grief". The only other part that feels iffy is the first rendition of "You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown", which is pretty short since it plays over the title card. Obviously it's arranged the way it is because there's a cold open, but it would've felt less out of place as track 1, in my opinion. That same track is also relevant for completionists - it only features the instrumental portion and is lacking the vocals. Probably separate recording sessions since it's just a bunch of kids doing it (they sing "you're elected, Charlie Brown", the original title for the special before it was changed for not making any sense). But you're not going to get to hear it without vocals anywhere else, so...
Anyway, that's enough of my rambling now. Tune in next month for another review that will probably be shorter than this one.
Written by: Hypnotoad (talk)
Art by: LittleGreenWyvy
Winter (Still)
It’s January now, almost February, but it’s still winter for most of us!! It is, I promise!!! But with spring rapidly approaching and Valentine’s Day items already for sale three weeks ago it’s time to flush out the pantry a bit of lingering holiday nonsense to make room for the inevitable pastel and bunny-themes.
Holiday M&M’s
I can always trust M&Ms to release seasonal flavors constantly, bringing back old ones and showing off the new. Unlike Reese’s that can diddle with their fillings a bit more, M&M’s seem bound to being a chocolate with candy coating with either nothing, a peanut, or a flavored white créme filling, so innovation in this realm tends to just be with flexing new artificial flavors. This month I have one of each, because that’s what they were selling at Target when I walked by as the most average consumer would.
Toasty Holiday Peanut
New as of November 2024, their website describes these as “a winter treat made with roasted peanuts infused with cinnamon, vanilla, spiced sugar, and caramel”. It’s nice that they said it somewhere, at least, because there’s absolutely nothing on the bag other than the Yellow M&M mascot with a cone of roasted peanuts to indicate what depths this vague flavor is meant to be. Sure, sure, you can assume that a ‘Toasty Holiday Peanut’ will come with cinnamon, but you can also assume that it doesn’t, and I vastly prefer having the specifics laid out to me on the product that sits on the shelf instead of having to navigate to a website that very regular removes information and hides it within tabs. What grants these the ‘Holiday’ moniker beyond just being red, green, and ? yellow? will be a mystery we will I guess explore.
Very much a fake candle taste to them that’s incredibly off-putting. There’s definitely an added nut flavor, on top of the peanut that’s existing within, that makes it uncanny and wrong. I’m genuinely wondering where the cinnamon flavor is, as it’s typically one that ends up being overpowering when included, as well as where any of the other flavors are because I don’t taste any of them. I actually didn’t want to proceed past the single piece I initially ate, as the aftertaste of just one on its own was lingering for way too long, but I put on a brave face and ate a few more to try to pinpoint what’s going on here. What I actually taste more is a fake maple flavor and a strange bitterness of office breakroom coffee, even a bit of liquid smoke to it that gives it a grotesque savory tone to it that I absolutely never want anywhere near sweet chocolate candies, and a lot of other people posting reviews on the webpage are saying the same thing. Is this a soapy-cilantro gene thing going on? A bad batch? As I continued eating more of them, filling myself with only these to not sense anything else, the rancid flavor subsided a bit as I got accustomed to it, and relaxed into a vague caramelized cinnamon sugar that did sorta hint at a praline pecan flavor, though there is an actual nut in there so how much legwork has to be done? Unfortunately, I would much MUCH rather just eat praline pecans than to suffer through a terribly mimicked version of it with a textural quality that is just not befitting of it.
Rather than having all of those flavors combined into an unholy amalgamation that just absolutely does not work because it’s all just added flavors rather than natural textural elements you can separate, they should’ve just stuck with a simple cinnamon and called it a day. They also could’ve just called this Peanut Brittle and had it actually be recognizable as that without changing anything else and still have it fit the holiday theme. What I think would be a really bold idea, game-changer, iconic bit of risk would be to just use a cinnamon-dusted candied roasted nut in the middle. Perhaps it wouldn’t make the most beautiful shapes, but how often are you all finding monstrously deformed M&Ms in regular bags as it is with it being no problem?
Holiday Mint
Around since 2013, Holiday Mint M&M’s have remained a popular flavor, coming back every year since. Mint-flavored M&M’s have been around in varying forms since at least the 1980s, with Dark Chocolate Mint being the most recent iteration that has just been discontinued since roughly July 2024, with this Holiday iteration being the larger format M&M and being made with milk chocolate.
By the time I’m getting to writing this part of the review in the first week of January there is already no useful information on this product anywhere I can find, including official sites. I have to go back to find reviews from 2017 to figure out and hope that some details have remained the same, including that these are made with milk chocolate rather than dark chocolate. I could’ve looked at the ingredients to see that, but, ehhhh why can’t it just be on the front? The mint smell is strong immediately after opening, but the actual mint flavor not so much. Very one-note, but in a way I can appreciate. The minty coolness is there, but not too offensive, only building stronger if you willingly grab a handful at once, with it becoming slightly noxious if you eat too many at once. The milk chocolate has this leaning quite a bit sweeter than I’m used to with other mint chocolates, with a bit of a creamy aftertaste and subtle coolness in my breath.
Compared to the Toasty Holiday Peanut, the Holiday Mint shows that simple and straightforward can be the key to a permanent placement on seasonal shelves.
Lake Champlain Peppermint Hot Chocolate
I’ve seen Lake Champlain Hot Chocolate listed as America’s Best Hot Chocolate and other accolades that I’m suspicious about the metrics of, but I never got around to trying it as it’s rather expensive at $14.99 for a 16 oz canister. I was always curious, though, as it was always the only traditional hot cocoa I ever saw available at any Earth Fare location–if we’re to not consider the weird mushroom ones and drinking chocolate nibs. But spending that much on just the regular flavor was giving me enough pre-emptive buyer’s remorse, so I went with their Peppermint Hot Chocolate for that little extra bit of pizzazz.
Just their base hot chocolate mix that uses sugar and dutch-process cocoa, but with natural peppermint flavor added. The absence of dried milk powder makes the next step obvious, requiring hot milk to be used as the liquid base; only 2 tablespoons for 8 oz of milk felt like a lot for how expensive this was, and it turns out that’s quite a bit more than the standard 1.38 oz packets everyone is used to. The peppermint smell is strong, but not overwhelming, which is what I always expect upon opening up a package of anything minty, but it persists after stirring it in and dissolving that had me a little surprised. Sweet, smooth, creamy, standard hot chocolate taste, but with a coolness in my breath after each sip. A good cup of cocoa, but for it lacking all of the fillers you’d find in mixes more like a Swiss Miss I wish it was more rich. Perhaps the amount of sugar in it is just too much, as using this much powder should’ve definitely made this feel thicker, and they should’ve let this veer more towards the darker side and let anyone drinking it choose to render it sweeter with their choice of whipped cream topping.
I’m not quite sure what this actually puts forth to justify the price tag; Organic? Fair Trade? Quality ingredients? Status as a Certified B company? Being sold primarily at notoriously expensive grocery stores? For it being on so many Best Hot Chocolate lists as #1 or near the top I really expected a more grand experience; I sincerely believe that all of these people professing how deliciously rich this was to have skewed the results by not following the recipe and added more scoops of powder, which, yeah, would make it richer. Perhaps I should lay off of this as Swiss Miss quality and prices can’t be the mental standard when applied to gourmet, but perhaps instead this should be a boost to Swiss Miss taste perceptions when the expensive gourmet option doesn’t do much more than what you only experience through reading its label. It’s a shame garbage brands can be good so cheaply because it makes it so hard for genuinely righteous brands to make their point. This review sounds negative, and perhaps it is, but I liked it! My gripe is more with the machinations of cheap fake food and how it alters perceptions of how things should be, and the padded reactions many food reviews tend to project that don’t set good expectations for reality. Sometimes you just need to accept that something produced in an ethical way just isn’t going to taste any different, and you have to have the strength of character and bank account of upper management to reward those ideals for a hallucinated karmic refreshing that you will almost certainly never personally witness.
After I had bought this, tried it, decided I’m done with it, I found it locally at The Fresh Market for $10.99; still expensive, but that $4 difference left a stronger taste in my mouth than what the hot chocolate itself did. I love you, Earth Fare, but please.
Honey Bunches of Oats Frosted Bunches
This limited edition version of just regular Honey Bunches of Oats cereal makes its holiday spirited known by being frosted, complete with a snowy landscape and yeti footprints for that complete secular appeal. In the cereal world ‘frosted’ means a sweet sugary coating, like Frosted Cheerios, Frosted Mini Wheats, or Frosted Flakes. What this actually is is a marketing gimmick I’m suspicious of constantly, and hoping is the case for an eventual resurrection of Chocolate Peanut Butter Chex Mix: a pre-existing item that was made limited edition after the fact to push sales.
Why it’s called ‘Frosted Bunches’ is a mystery when what’s frosted here are the flakes, with the bunches being sparse and rather dull. What this essentially amounts to is Post’s version of Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes with a less-than-generous amount of granola clusters, with no more pizzazz than that. No vanilla flavor, no other hunks of something else, the regular versions of this brand actually have more taste and textural appeal, so this is just an incredibly simple cereal concept with a sweeter spin and box art that gets your pantry well on its way to being thematically decorated. It’s not bad, and in a vacuum I would say I like it, but there’s just far too many that are similar that are just more satisfying to eat.
Three Trees Organic Nog
I’ve tried Three Trees before, about 5 years ago now, and wasn’t very impressed. Yet, as I wandered through a Whole Foods as I tend to do, there it sat in the refrigerated seasonal display. After a quick search through my own reviews to see if I tried it before, and a deep breath as I considered the absolutely vile price of $7.89 for a 28 fl oz bottle, I decided to give it a whirl to check this box off. Unfortunately their website, like many others, gets rid of all seasonal information as soon as the clock strikes 12:01am December 26th, leaving Instagram posts as the only remaining source.
Obviously organic given the name, and the absence of ‘egg’ next to their ‘nog’ implies dairy-free, it also proudly boasts that it’s oil-free and gum-free, with just these as the ingredients: filtered water, oats, almonds, cane sugar, chicory root fiber, vanilla extract, french grey salt, nutmeg, cinnamon, and cardamon. French grey salt sounds rather pretentious, but has its use as being a moist salt due to the unique harvesting procedure and will not absorb as much moisture from the foods it’s added to. I’m hoping this does a magic trick of ridding any odd bitterness and sink water taste that nut milks and chicory root fiber can have, but allowing the other flavors to stand out more, and as it tends to be with the more hope an organic product gives the more hollow those hopes ring.
Absolutely no eggnog flavor to this at all, neither the egg nor the nog, with all that’s noticeable being the oat flavor and cinnamon and absolutely nothing else at all. I appreciate that they went through the effort to include cardamom and nutmeg, as that’s more than what most bother with at all, but it would’ve been great if they had any presence. The drink itself is just so thin, approaching skim milk levels of watery which is just so intensely unsatisfying on all levels: as a nog, as a dairy alternative, as a substance I allowed to enter my body. As time moved forward, the free hand of the market was revealed to stand in solidarity with me as Three Trees Organic Nog quickly became one of the last remaining items to not sell out in the seasonal displays and likely met its fate in a trash compactor.
Credit where credit is due, it didn’t taste horrible, only disappointing, which is an adjective that’s relative to expectations set; I just don’t feel like my expectations of custardy richness are unwarranted and in all actuality kinda set the base definition of using the word ‘nog’ because if we’re going to bastardize the meaning of the word to be just ‘cinnamon milk’ then are we to call what’s left in a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch a nog as well? Too many of these non-dairy drinks have been relying on oats for natural creaminess in lieu of thickeners and emulsifiers and it’s just really gotten out of hand, how hallucinatory it’s all become, and at the end of the day if you start removing facets of nature from something you eventually lose all meaning to the point that maybe this gate should be kept locked, maybe if you can’t have dairy, gluten, oils, gums, anything that either is eggnog or can properly mimic an eggnog, then maybe it’s just not something you’re meant to have.
Oberweis Dairy Eggnog
With every trip I take to a new city I always check out what their local dairy farms are up to, and for Chicago it looked like Oberweis was among the easiest to find and most notable. From what I saw of their selection it was rather basic, standard homogenized milk with a line of organic versions that seemed to be stocked more readily given the only kinds of stores that carry glass bottle dairy. With only a mini fridge in my hotel I had to budget the space, and I just wasn’t feeling particularly inspired to try any of these relative to the amount of hassle I’d have to deal with transporting and storing it, until I saw that they make eggnog.
I bought this at an Oberweis Dairy store that primarily sells ice cream but also has some fridges tucked in the side that stock various products of theirs. I was kinda shocked that they didn’t carry the full line, and rather had just a couple of the basics. Pictures I’ve seen online while looking at places to check out indicate that just a couple years ago they had fully stocked fridges with complete representation of their lineup, so it being barebones implies to me either some kind of issue, whether it's the store’s manager not ordering properly, or more likely issues with manufacturing, processing, and distribution, which, spoiler alert. I was going to get ice cream but felt weird and bad because it was like 40 minutes until closing and I was the only one there being ignored by two workers, so all I did was grab the eggnog from a cooler. It was $12.99 for the half gallon, which is reprehensible and absurd, even with the glass bottle included, made worse by how I didn’t find out the price until it was rang up and by that point I was committed and locked into the transactional social etiquette. I expected it to be expensive, but like maybe $8, maybe even $10, but that nudge to $13 just feels horrible and vile.
To their credit, though, it was very good. What caught me the most was the texture: creamy, silky, but unmistakably frothy. I thought, maybe, it's because I shook it up first, but no other eggnog has been that frothy for me even after the most violent of shakes. Even after I let it settle for a few hours and purposely did not agitate it before taking a sip straight from the bottle, it was still super foamy, which gave a feeling more of being airy and light rather than rich and heavy. The ingredients fully include: milk, cream, sugar, corn syrup, skim milk, corn syrup solids, sugared egg yolks, Grade A whey powder, dextrose, corn starch, nutmeg, annatto & turmeric extract, guar gum, carrageenan, salt, and locust bean gum. This list here confirms all of my thoughts: it’s exceptionally sweet, creamy but a bit thin, and mild nutmeg flavoring. The thickness and creaminess is given by the cheaper fillers and additives rather than more heavy cream and whole milk, so I’m not sure why this has to be as expensive as it is other than trying to pad an impending bankruptcy. I’m not quite sure I’d describe this as ‘decadent’ like other reviewers have said, as I’d save that word for something more lush and velvety rather than liquified sugar held up with corn starch, though I do appreciate the visible nutmeg specks as that’s definitely a solid visual clue that the ingredients at least lean natural. Thankfully the glass bottle fit in my suitcase back home and did not put it over weight, so I at least have that memento to add to my collection and stretch the value of my $13 into a piece of quirky home decor.
This review was basically complete, all but this paragraph being a full product, until I read a bit further down in a comment section that piqued my curiosity. I’m always interested in the internal politics and machinations of otherwise smiley food companies, and my failure to be a Chicago local or aware of more going on in the world than my own personal horrors at the age of 13 kept me from being aware that the (former) Oberweis owner and chairman, Jim Oberweis, is an incredibly racist and homophobic politician. It’s very difficult to maintain purity of mind, body, and spirit when you start thinking about who benefits from what in capitalist endeavors such as ‘consuming products’, as digging deep into any of these rabbit holes will net you a steaming pile of crap you’d rather not have been made aware of, but it’s part of my moral compass to set a bar on what can be ignored and 40 years of this guy isn’t it. It’s very interesting that they sidestep mentioning him in their About Us, but regardless the knowledge is known and can’t be forgotten. There’s plenty of other milk companies that produce effectively the same products and overall experience, complete with nearly all of the same services they offer, and a particularly pleasant eggnog will not wash away my now immutable thoughts about what every penny this company gets goes to, because as of recently we know it’s not going to paying their bills.
South Mountain Creamery Egg Nog
South Mountain Creamery follows the same business model as every other regional local milk brand in that they are farmer-operated, family-owned, and also functions as a wholesaler and delivery service. I appreciate these things being all over the country because it gives me something to seek out everywhere I go that dares to offer local brands. As they are based in central Maryland–forcibly reminding me that Maryland is included in the Appalachians with a robust Piedmont region and has more to it than just DC, Baltimore, and the Chesapeake region–Harris Teeters in the Charlotte area (and the single HT in Florida) had this available when none of the others did; Lowes Foods, Whole Foods, Earth Fares woefully lacked anything more exciting than the much more far-reaching Homestead Creamery I've already tried.
The South Mountain Creamery Egg Nog was $8.99 for a 32oz bottle is insane; that’s $18 for a half gallon, when the Oberweis felt like robbery at its $13 for a half gallon. Yeah yeah, part of the price is due to the bottle deposit, but depending on your source that’s $3 which still takes this to an alleged $5.99/32oz. Nearly the exact same ingredients, too, just without the cornstarch, corn syrup, carrageenan, and other sprinkles of nonsense, instead being rather streamlined. Grass-fed, farmer owned, non-GMO, but what I most care about is that it comes in a cute glass bottle that I can add to my collection and use as decor. I can definitely taste the higher quality milk used here, higher levels of milkfat and a little barnyard grassiness. Very sweet, absolutely from the cane sugar that’s 3rd in the ingredients behind the Grade A milk and cream and before the non-fat milk, with a fresh taste that adds a satisfying crispness when chilled that progresses to a full dairy flavor as it approaches room temperature. Very thick and rich, but not a goopy sludge, what I would truly refer to as decadent as it was not something I could get a full-throated chug from and instead sipped and savored.
| The 'Shroom: Issue 214 | |
|---|---|
| Staff sections | Staff Notes • The 'Shroom Spotlight • Poochy's Picks • Directorial Address • Credits |
| Features | Fake News • Fun Stuff • Palette Swap • Pipe Plaza • Critic Corner • Strategy Wing |
