The 'Shroom:Issue 201/Palette Swap
Director's Notes
Happy holidays, everyone! It's this year's last issue of The 'Shroom!
First, I'd like to give everyone who contributed to the success of Issue 200 a HUGE thank you- it wouldn't have been such a massive bash without you! We hope you'll all stick with us to 300 issues and beyond!
Next up, we have a birthday today, 12/23, our lovely contributor MightyMario (talk)! Thank you so much for all of your stories this year, MightyMario, and all of us hope you have a great birthday! May your 2024 be full of inspiration for new stories for us to read!
The second part of The Hidden Treasure of Area Zero came out this month! I was able to get my hands on it last weekend, and got to work battling the Blueberry league and completing the Pokedex. As it stands right now, I'm waiting for my friend to catch up to me to complete my dex, but I found the Blueberry league a lot of fun! Crispin was my favorite character and fight, and I really enjoyed seeing Kieran complete his character arc. I don't like Terapagos as much as I love Ogerpon, but I'll give it time and I'm sure it will grow on me. Pokemon has recently announced an epilogue for the DLC releasing in January, so I'm happy to get to go back to Kitakami to have some more adventures.
This month, we've scaled back to our normal sections, but everyone here has put in a lot of hard work for these, so I won't keep you up here any longer. Happy holidays, all, and we'll see you in the new year!
Happy reading!
~FunkyK38
Section of the Month
Section of the Month results are here! In first, we have Waluigi Time (talk)'s Shmaluigi, Private Investigator! Following that in second, we have one of our Issue 200 guest sections, Mario jc (talk)'s From the Composer of.... Rounding this month out is winstein (talk)'s The ? Panel. Thank you to everyone who voted, we really appreciate it!
| PALETTE SWAP SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | Shmaluigi, Private Investigator | 13 | 36.11% | Waluigi Time (talk) |
| 2nd | From the Composer of... | 8 | 22.22% | Mario jc (talk) |
| 3rd | The ? Panel | 7 | 19.44% | winstein (talk) |
Meta's Poem
Written by: Meta Knight (talk)
The following poem you're about to read was created during Roserade's (talk) Poemtober 2022. For those unaware, during the month of October, every day you feel like, you create a poem! Each day had a prompt that was a singular word and you could write about however you interpreted it. This poem was written for the theme Glitch. If you wish to know more about the creative process, or anything like that, you're welcome to read my commentary as well.
404
Persistent routines encoded into a silicone shell,
A black box of mystery to the untrained eye.
Sequential zeroes and ones command a spell,
The will of its creator enforced to apply.
Should there be an oversight in the circuits that dwell,
Does not indicate a failure to comply.
A mere misunderstanding of the program's cell,
The wizardry of its maker just needs to retry.
The ? Panel
Peach: "*Sob* Why didn't they add me in the game? Did they forget me???"
{Luigi emerges from the Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars manual, listening to the complaints of nurse Peach}
Luigi: {Thinking} "Oh, I'm glad I got to appear in this game, even for a brief moment"
Shmaluigi, Private Investigator
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk) and Ninja Squid (talk)
Tidal Terror: Part 1
Well, there I was again. Grocery run day. Great. This city was long overdue for a grocery store that wasn't owned by the soul-sucking Joja Corporation, but I wasn't going to hold my breath. But still, every time I came to JojaMart, I get this disgusted feeling and just start to complain about it, and even I'm starting to get sick of my own internal monologue at this point. Give it a rest, Shmaluigi.
When I arrived, I encountered a peculiar scene. Mr. Morris decided to show up today to fulfill his regional manager duties, and I almost had to wonder if he has ESP or something. With how little I try to come here, it seems like I end up seeing him a lot more than I should... But that wasn't exactly what was peculiar. No, that descriptor belongs to the fact that he was standing in the middle of the store, arguing with one of my old investigating partners, the Sticky Warrior.
"Sir, we consistently comply with requests from legitimate law enforcement, but I'm afraid that without some official documentation, spending two days on our roof constitutes trespassing. Now, won't you consider ceasing your activities? I'm sure we can find an alternative arrangement. Oh, yes, how about a 15% discount on binoculars from our catalogue, perhaps? That will suffice, won't it?"
"Look Mr. Big Glasses, I really don't have the time to deal with your nonsense! I need your roof, since from a strategic point of view, there is no better place for a stakeout. Also, 15% discount for some useless binoculars? What are you implying? That I have some poor eyesight!?" the Inkling said, unsheathing his katana in the middle of the store. "I'm not the one wearing glasses, I'll have you know!"
"Now, sir! I will not have you making threats and brandishing weapons on our property! Insult me all you wish, but do not think you can get away with spilling blood on the merchandise here! Do you see this?" Mr. Morris asked, holding up a phone and hovering his finger over a button on it. "Put the weapon away this instant, or law enforcement will be on their way! There will not be a second incident in this location after the dressing down I received for last month's inc-"
This seemed to be going well. I figured I should probably step in before things got ugly, and that was saying something since Mr. Morris was involved. "Hey, hey, what's going on here, you two?"
Mr. Morris sputtered meaningless syllables in response, clearly attempting to get the first word in while very frazzled at the same time. Finally, he adjusted his glasses and composed himself. "Our valued-but-violent guest has been conducting some sort of unauthorized operation from our roof. As you know well, Detective Shmaluigi, we cannot have that! Mandates from our insurer, and all, you understand. We want no accidents to befall our family or guests."
The Sticky Warrior turned back to look at me, returning his katana to its sheath for the time being. "Oh, long-time no see Detective! Just dealing with some fool who thinks I am scared of some 'law enforcement'. You know, I deal with this kind of guy on a regular basis. Anyway, I am on an important mission, which I need the rooftop here for that, and Mr. Grumpy Manager here does all he can to screw things up. I'm seriously losing my patience!"
I knew neither of them would back down on their own - or rather, Mr. Morris would have someone else do the not backing down for him - and that things would certainly get... dicey. As much as I hated to side with Mr. Morris on this one, or on anything, really, the Joja Corporation was well in their rights to not allow unauthorized uses of their own property. That being said, having personally seen the Sticky Warrior in action, let's just say that things wouldn't end too well for anyone who tried to stop him. I don't have much practice diffusing these sorts of situations...
"So... You need this specific rooftop?" I asked.
"Indeed! I did try other places, but none has that perfect spot like the roof here. As surprising as it may be, the JojaMart is very well situated," Sticky Warrior replied. At least it could be useful for something.
"Detective," Morris interjected, apparently not keen to let his position go unheard even though he had already made it clear, "you and I have cooperated on multiple investigations before. I understand the importance of these... investigative matters. However, you do remember from the incident with that robotic assassin, don't you? Some rules simply must not be broken!"
"Robotic assassin!? Where... I wanna try it!" Sticky Warrior exclaimed. I supposed it could be in worse hands - it already was, as a matter of fact. Mr. Morris merely let out a tired sigh in response.
"Yeah, that first investigation was real cooperative," I mumbled under my breath. "Okay, just bear with Shmaluigi for a second, how much longer do you think you would need to use the rooftop?"
"At least, for a week. Likely less than that if only they could stop bothering me!" Sticky Warrior said, his eyes turning toward Mr. Morris and piercing like daggers. "Actually, maybe I should handle him myself..."
"Nyeeeh!" Mr. Morris squealed. "Detective! Resolve this situation immediately! That's a threat! You heard it!"
The masked Inkling chuckled and looked at me. "Is this guy serious?"
I simply rolled my eyes and continued on. "Okay, less than a week isn't so bad, right? Listen, Mr. Morris, Shmaluigi can vouch for him, so if you can overlook this for just a few more days, then we can all just move on and be happy, or something. What do you say?"
Mr. Morris sighed again, pausing to think, then he clapped his hands together with a smile. Clearly, some idea had come to him, which I found rather disconcerting, to be honest.
"Well, such an exception is highly irregular, but if you believe it's in the interest of our family and merchandise, I may be able to make an exception... if I may ask a favor of you, Detective Shmaluigi. Until now, you've been reticent to officially purchase a membership and join our JojaMart family. If I were able to tie this exception to a sale of a year-long membership for yourself... I may be capable of producing some forms which will give the both of you permission to spend a week carrying out your work on our roof. Of course, I will need to enter a note into our system indicating that we cannot waive the termination fee should you choose to cancel the membership early...
What do you say? Do we have a deal?"
I nearly lost my breakfast at the thought of it, but if it would resolve this mess... "Yeah, fine, whatever."
"Excellent! Allow me one moment, and I shall return with all of the necessary forms."
Mr. Morris turned around and walked off, and as soon as he was out of earshot, the Sticky Warrior piped up. "This guy I swear... I have zero intention of spending a coin here, and I already have my own personal merchant anyway."
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't envious that he was able to take his business elsewhere. "Yeah, that guy's a real piece of work, to say the least. But enough about that corporate goon, what's up with you? It sounds like you've got a new mission on your hands."
"Yeah, just something I need to take care of, but nothing as complicated as dealing with the Morris, so I can handle it on my own. I'm sure you're quite busy yourself, Detective, so I would not want to take more of your time either."
"Not at the moment, actually, but that's not such a bad thing," I replied. It was only then that I noticed an odd logo on his sleeve. It definitely wasn't there the last time we met. "Hey, what's that?"
"This? Well, let's call this a symbol for a vigilante group I have been involved with lately for some of my latest missions and the one I am in currently. Suffice to say, we experienced an imposter issue last time, and we decided to display a label on our clothing to make things easier during reconnaissance missions. So, nothing to worry about, really. Think of this like if all the investigators of our time in Rogueport were grouped together and used some sort of symbol or password to recognize each other."
"Hm, well that certainly makes sense. Good luck with everything, then."
The Sticky Warrior replied with a simple nod, turned around, and walked off. Guess I'd be signing the paperwork for both of us...
I returned home with groceries and... mild disgust. I may have been forced to shop there for the past couple of years just by lack of options, but I tried to avoid being an actual Joja member as long as I could. All good things must come to an end, I suppose. I mean, at least I had a good reason for finally doing it. Preventing the Sticky Warrior from slicing Mr. Morris into ribbons in the middle of the store was better for everyone involved. I like the guy, but his shade of morally gray goes a lot darker than I'm comfortable with.
By the time I had finished putting away the groceries and haphazardly tossed the crumpled paperwork onto my desk, I was considering taking a shower to wash off the feeling of lousiness, but those plans were interrupted by the arrival of a Goomba in my office.
"Excuse me, Mr. Shmaluigi?"
"You're looking at him. What do you need?"
"The name's Gil Goomer. There's something I need you to look into for me - well, more like someone."
This seemed pretty simple so far compared to a lot of the cases I've worked on, though I couldn't help but prepare myself for the other shoe to drop that would leave this a tangled mess.
"You're in luck, Shmaluigi's schedule is wide open at the moment. Who are they?" I asked.
The Goomba looked behind himself to both sides. "Are we alone?" he asked me.
"Of course."
"It's one of my employees. See, I'm a small business owner, and lately I've been having issues with funds, well, getting lost, for lack of a better term. I suspect my finance manager is up to something, but I don't have any proof, and, well, I'm not exactly the confrontational type... I was wondering if you could spend some time keeping an eye on him and see if you can find anything that I could take to the police."
Was that all? Not to make myself out to be some master detective or anything, but this was practically child's play. That being said, I welcomed the slower-pace assignment. "That sounds easy enough. Who is your finance manager?"
"Uh, Jim, he's a Koopa Paratroopa, yellow shell. You'll find him at this address, his apartment is the window all the way to the left on the fourth floor."
"Alright then, Shmaluigi's on the case!"
It was quite some distance away towards the outskirts of the city, but I parked my car a couple of blocks away from the apartment building, and stayed across the street, keeping an eye on the window that Mr. Goomer mentioned. I didn't see any lights or movement, so this Jim character must not have been home. Now I was tasked with doing something I wasn't exactly great at - trying to be inconspicuous. Specifically, doing that in one place for an extended period of time. I'm pretty well-known around here these days, and even if I wasn't, well, trenchcoats aren't exactly subtle.
While I waited for anything to happen, I stumbled upon something peculiar lying in the alleyway. A fairly small, rectangular container, colored black with red edges. The logo that I had seen the Sticky Warrior wearing earlier was crudely etched on it. Out of curiosity, I opened it and found a seemingly ordinary pair of glasses inside. I knew that the Sticky Warrior definitely didn't wear glasses, and even if he did, it was far too small to fit an Inkling's head, so I figured that it must have belonged to one of the other members of his vigilante group. I'd have to return it to him the next time I saw him, maybe he knew who lost it.
It wasn't a perfect fit for me either, but I decided to try them on just to alleviate some boredom. I must have looked pretty silly wearing two pairs of glasses at the same time, but hopefully no one was looking. Yep. They were glasses. Then as I moved to take them off, I must have activated something, and the lenses zoomed in. These were more like a pair of spy glasses! I debated if I should keep them on for the rest of the observation, but I had no idea what else these could do, and I didn't want them to accidentally explode. Back in the case for now...
The rest of the night passed with nothing whatsoever. Finally, I decided I might as well check with the receptionist in the apartment building.
"Hello there, what can I do for you?" the Shy Guy asked.
"Shmaluigi, private investigator. Do you happen to have as a tenant a Koopa Paratroopa by the name of Jim?"
"Jim, Jim... No, I'm afraid not. We have a Thwomp named Jim in apartment 302, if that's who you mean."
"No, it was definitely a Koopa Paratroopa... This is your address, correct?" I asked, holding up the piece of paper Mr. Goomer gave me.
"Yep, that's us."
"Hm, alright then. Thank you for your time."
I returned home, very confused about the whole ordeal. I would have to check in with Mr. Goomer, but it was then that I realized he didn't give me any contact information. Well, things could have been worse. After all, he was a business owner in the city, and the internet exists...
...Except a Tiptro! search came up with no one named Gil Goomer even living in New Wikisburg. So the person I was sent to observe apparently didn't exist, and my client didn't really exist either. Seriously, what was going on?
Well, unless something else came up, I figured I may as well spend some time tracking down the Sticky Warrior to return those glasses. He did enjoy being active at night, so he was probably still out there in the city somewhere. If I could tie up that loose end, then I could go back home, go to bed, and wash my hands of today's ordeal for now.
But I had to say, the city was relatively peaceful this late at night. Cold, but peaceful. Barely anyone was walking around out here, and traffic was much lighter. I figured that maybe the Sticky Warrior was still perched up on the roof of JojaMart, so I made my way there. The walk was, for once, almost serene.
The fluorescent lights within JojaMart still poured out through the front doors, a break in the city's relative darkness, and I could see just a couple of customers walking around inside. The joys of 24/7 shopping. Unfortunately though, my guess was wrong. There was no sign of the Sticky Warrior up on the roof, or anywhere in the vicinity as far as I could tell.
As long as I was already out here, I decided to keep searching for now. Was wandering around the city aimlessly this late at night a bad idea? Probably. At least the line of work I'm in has trained me to keep my wits about me.
My wanderings eventually led me down to the harbor. It wouldn't be the first time I ran into the Sticky Warrior here, though the last time that happened, I almost got clobbered by some bulky Koopas. Hopefully that wouldn't be the case tonight, but I still found myself exercising what was perhaps an overabundance of caution as I looked around the place, weaving through the shipping containers waiting to be taken to their destinations.
I continued to explore, and soon heard voices in the distance. One thing I've learned is that when there's someone out here this late at night, there usually isn't anything on the up and up going on. Maybe the Sticky Warrior was here, maybe not, but whatever the case may be, I figured it couldn't hurt to take a closer look.
"...and everything is going quite well and ahead of schedule. This branch of operations has been performing exceptionally well since the undesirables were... dealt with," a voice said, speaking with sophistication, yet an unmistakably sinister tone.
I peeked around one of the containers, but nothing could have prepared me for who I saw. A towering, muscular Kremling, wearing a dapper black suit and an eyepatch over his right eye. We had never met before, but I recognized him instantly. Kreep was the name, and it was quite the fitting one. This guy was a criminal tech giant, topping most wanted lists all over, well, basically the known universe. Here, the Beanbean Kingdom, Inkopolis, even on Planet Popstar, last I heard. And that was just to name a few, but now wasn't the time for a geography lesson. No one I had ever faced before lived up to his reputation, even Monty Brando himself was small-time compared to him. But what was he doing here in New Wikisburg?!
Then things got worse...
"Quite glad to hear of this Kreep! With the next shipment going along just fine, I wager that this means the preparation for our next mission is proceeding just as well... Right?"
No... That voice was unmistakably the Sticky Warrior's. I couldn't bear to peek further to confirm it, but somehow I did anyway. There he was, my old ally, conversing with one of the most wanted criminals alive. From the way they spoke, clearly they had managed to establish some sort of working relationship. I tried to tell myself that it was an undercover mission, but it was just the two of them there! If the Sticky Warrior was here to take Kreep out, he had the perfect opening, and he just wasn't taking it... It's not like he was trying to work up to the top - this was the top.
"Yes, as long as you all remain in line, everything should be proceeding on schedule. I don't care to waste my time having to strangle another imbecile for breathing too loud," the Kremling snarled, not even making eye contact with the Sticky Warrior, instead intently focused on his own claw.
I ducked back out of sight, and my face must have been paler than a Boo at that point. I didn't know what to think about the Sticky Warrior right now - or more likely I did, I just didn't want to believe it - but I did know that if either of them saw me now, I was as good as dead. I snuck away as quickly as I could while keeping the element of stealth, and once I got out of earshot, I booked it out of there as fast as I possibly could.
...And I even bought a JojaMart membership for this guy?!
To be continued...
Thank you for reading the first part of this brand new story arc! Things are getting interesting for our poor detective now... Extra special thanks to Ninja Squid for collaborating on this story with me and writing the dialogue for the Sticky Warrior, and thanks as well to Hooded Pitohui for writing the dialogue for Morris yet again! It's a lot of fun working with these two, and I'm super excited for you all to see the rest of what NS and I have planned! Be sure to come back next month to see how things continue from here!
| The 'Shroom: Issue 201 | |
|---|---|
| Staff sections | Staff Notes • The 'Shroom Spotlight • End-of-the-Year Awards • Director Election |
| Features | Fake News • Fun Stuff • Palette Swap • Pipe Plaza • Critic Corner • Strategy Wing |
