Crimes R Us

The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 episode
"Crimes R Us"
Production number	117
Airdate	November 10, 1990 (English) November 1, 1991 (French)[?]
Writer(s)	Heidi Holicker Rick Holicker
Opening curtain	Dark Land
Featured song	"Double Crossing" (non-Italian versions) "Burn Baby Burn" (Italian version)
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"Crimes R Us" is the nineteenth episode of The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3. It aired alongside another episode entitled "Life's Ruff." The name of this episode is a reference to the toy store company, Toys "R" Us. DIC Entertainment's Super Mario cartoons later parody this in an episode title again with the Super Mario World episode "Ghosts 'R' Us."

Plot synopsis

King Koopa and his Koopalings are all onboard the Doom Ship, and are flying over a town somewhere in the real world. Bully Koopa announces that they are about to reach a prison, and Koopa is quite pleased, noting that a prison is the only place in the real world with their kind of people.

Down below, in the prison courtyard, a large, muscular prisoner is playing a game of basketball with some of the other prisoners. When one of the other prisoners laughs at him for failing to make a shot, the larger prisoner rolls him up into a ball, and shoots him through the net. When the large prisoner challenges the other prisoners into beating him, they run away.

Suddenly, the large prisoner experiences a tremor, and looks up to see the Doom Ship firing at a guard tower. Bully then descends down to the prisoner from the Doom Ship on a rope ladder, and asks if he is Crime Wave Clyde, Real World Public Enemy #1. The prisoner assures him that he is, or else he would not have been sentenced to jail for 12,423 years with no parole. Bully tells Clyde that his father is giving him a pardon, grabs him, and brings him onboard the Doom Ship.

Surrounded by the Koopas, Clyde wants to know who the Koopas are, and what they want with him. When they arrive at Kastle Koopa, Koopa explains his background to Clyde, who can barely believe what he is hearing. He further tells Clyde that he busted him out of jail so that he could teach the Koopalings all the tactics he used to commit crimes. When Clyde wants to know what he will get out of this whole ordeal, Koopa tells him that he can keep half of whatever was stolen. Unaware that Koopa had crossed his fingers behind his back, Clyde agrees.

Later on, the Doom Ship pulls up above the First Mushroom Bank, and Clyde prepares to teach the Koopalings their first lesson in crime: bank robbery. Meanwhile, Mario and Luigi are going on a walk through the Mushroom Kingdom, where Mario points out that the clouds in the sky sometimes resemble things, including Princess Toadstool. Luigi first spots a cloud that barely resembles their Aunt Maria, and then the Doom Ship, which he at first mistakes for a cloud.

Realizing that the Koopas are pulling a bank heist, Mario and Luigi scramble to find power-ups. Mario finds a Super Leaf to become Raccoon Mario, while Luigi uses a Fire Flower to become Fire Luigi. Inside the bank, the Koopalings seize the Mushroom People there and steal the valuables they have on them. Just as Bully forces the banker to toss all of his Gold Coins into a sack, Mario knocks the sack away from Bully with his tail, and it hits Hip and Hop. Luigi shoots a fireball at Big Mouth, Kooky, and Cheatsy. However, Kootie Pie uses a fur scarf she stole to wrap up Mario with, while Bully sprays Luigi with a fire extinguisher. With the heroes down, the Koopalings retreat to the Doom Ship.

Back at Kastle Koopa, the Koopalings are beating each other up, while Clyde tells them that they failed lesson one in crime. He then proceeds to lesson two; getting rid of the good guys.

At some later point, Mario and Luigi come out of a Warp Pipe in Desert Land, where they hear a voice crying for help. The voice leads them to a Mushroom boy, who explains that some ugly monsters stole his lunch money, and directs Mario and Luigi to the pipe they escaped through. Once Mario and Luigi travel down the pipe, Cheatsy comes out of hiding, thanks the kid for leading Mario and Luigi down the pipe, and actually returns the stolen lunch money.

Mario and Luigi after running into the door from Crime Wave Clyde closing it.

Mario and Luigi come out of a pipe in a maze underneath Desert Land, which closes behind them. They then hear Clyde laugh, and turn to see him with Big Mouth, who tells them that they are trapped. Just after Big Mouth and Clyde lock them in, Big Mouth briefly opens the door to let in a Boom Boom that will "keep them company". The Boom Boom chases Mario and Luigi into some quicksand, with no visible ways of escape.

Mario angers the Boom Boom by clucking like a chicken, and lures him into jumping into the quicksand. As the Boom Boom jumps at him, Mario jumps into the air and hits a Jump Block containing a Super Leaf. As Raccoon Mario, Mario picks up Luigi and flies across the quicksand.

In the Mushroom Kingdom, Clyde explains to the Koopalings that he has now taught them everything he knows, and sends them out to commit crimes. Big Mouth uses a Ptooie to hold up a Mushroom lady, while Kooky steals the coins in her purse. Big Mouth then threatens Kootie Pie into handing her stolen loot over to him, and they get into a fight.

After returning to Kastle Koopa, Bully reads from a list of everything that they managed to steal. When Big Mouth uses his Ptooie to demand a stolen yo-yo from Bully, Clyde gets mad, exclaiming that the Koopalings should not steal from each other. Hip and Hop take to Clyde's advice by stealing wallets from his pockets. Although Clyde is frustrated, Koopa is proud of his children, and announces that they need to pull the "crime of the Mushroom Century".

Bully wonders if they will rob the ruins of the Mushroom pharaohs, while Cheatsy thinks that they will pilfer the pyramids of the Koopahari Desert. Kootie Pie thinks it is getting rid of Princess Toadstool, but Koopa shakes his head at all their ideas before unveiling his plan: stealing one billion gold coins from the Mushroom Kingdom Treasury.

Mario and Luigi after finding two Thwomps.

Down in the maze, Mario and Luigi are finding themselves chased by Ptooies and Sledge Brothers, and find themselves locked in a room with two Thwomps. Luigi is fairly worried, because he is certain that there is no possible way out of the maze.

At the entrance to the Mushroom Kingdom Treasury, Crime Wave Clyde hands a Bob-omb to Kooky, telling him not to light it until he says go. Kooky then lights the Bob-omb and handcuffs it to Clyde's ankle. When Clyde asks what is going on, the Koopalings explain that they are following Koopa's orders, and that they did not plan on giving him anything. Not able to take the Koopalings' antics, Clyde jumps into a pond, dousing the Bob-omb's lit fuse.

In the maze, Mario and Luigi are trying to dodge the Thwomps. Just when Luigi tells Mario that they are finished, Clyde busts down the door, begging for Mario and Luigi to get him back home. Although they are angry at Clyde, he promises to help Mario and Luigi in stopping the Koopalings from robbing the Mushroom Treasury.

At the treasury, Bully uses a Bob-omb to blast open the front door, while Hip and Hop use a Chain Chomp to open a barred window. Kooky unleashes a Firesnake, which busts a hole on the roof, while Big Mouth blasts a hole in the wall with his Ptooie. Once the Koopalings enter the treasury, they begin loading up bags with coins. When Bully and Kootie Pie open a vault door, they are shocked to see Mario, Luigi, and Clyde waiting for them on the other side.

Up aboard the Doom Ship, King Koopa hoists up a platform supporting two money sacks. However, upon opening one sack he sees his children all tied up and gagged. The second sack falls open on its own, revealing a lit big Bob-omb, which blows away part of the Doom Ship, creating fireworks around it, causing it to retreat from the Mushroom Kingdom, and Clyde smiles.

Later on, Mario and Luigi return Clyde to his jail cell. Luigi remarks that he is never seen anyone so happy to actually be behind bars. Clyde responds by stating that his 12,423 year sentence with no parole is a lot better than one more day with the Koopas. Upon hearing Clyde's remark, Mario mentions that Clyde's lucky because he did not have to face the Koopalings on a bad day.

Animation and continuity errors

• When the Doomship attacks the prison, the sky is that of the Mushroom Kingdom instead of the real world.
• When Bully points to Crime Wave Clyde, one of his claws is colored orange like his hands instead of white.
• When Clyde asks why King Koopa broke him out of prison, he is layered over some controls.
• When King Koopa introduces himself, Clyde's shoes turn completely brown. This also happens when Kooky ties the Bob-omb to him.
• In several scenes, Hop's hair turns completely yellow.
• When the Mario Bros. realize that they have to stop the bank robbery, two Cheatsys can be seen.
• When Luigi becomes Fire Luigi, his clothes do not change color.
• In one scene, Kootie Pie's scarf is a coin sack instead.
• When Cheatsy approaches the Mushroom boy after the Mario Bros. enter the Warp Pipe, his underbelly is colored orange instead of cream. This also occurs when he says that he is following orders.
• When Bully trips Clyde, the background moves behind them.
  • In the same scene, the stripes on Clyde's uniform are darker than normal.
• When Bully reviews the stolen goods, his mouth does not move.
  • In the same scene, Hip and Hop's hair turns completely pink.
• When Bully pulls out the yo-yo, it is a Coin on a string, but when Big Mouth plays with it, it is an actual yo-yo.
• When Clyde starts the second lesson, the number on his uniform disappears briefly.
• When Mario and Luigi are in the mud, Luigi has four fingers on each hand instead of five.
• When Big Mouth steals Kootie Pie's money, the rim around his shell is colored white instead of yellow. This also happens when he steals the yo-yo.
  • In the same scene, the bow on Kootie Pie's tail disappears, and shortly after, spots appear on the bow.
• When Clyde says, "This is giving me a headache...", Cheatsy's head is orange instead of green. This also happens when Kooky ties Clyde to the Bob-omb.
• When Mario flies in the air when Kootie Pie wraps him in the cloth, his raccoon ears and tail are missing.
• In several scenes, Kootie Pie's shoes are missing.
• When Clyde explains the tactics of bank robbery, his skin is much darker than normal.
• As Mario and Luigi run through the door while fleeing the Ptooies and Sledge Brothers, the wall closest to the screen shakes.
• Initially, the prisoner that Clyde turns into a ball has dark-orange skin.
• When King Koopa says that it is time for the big finale, Clyde's belt is colored blue like his uniform instead of yellow, while Hop has one spike on his shell instead of two.
• When Big Mouth uses a Ptooie to open a hole in a wall, his snout is tan instead of brown.
• When Cheatsy and Kooky are on top of the treasury, its sign misspells it as "tbeasury".
  • In the same scene, Cheatsy's hair is yellow instead of blue.
• When the Mario Bros. are suspicious of Clyde, the background is the treasury instead of the maze.
• When the Koopalings steal the money in the treasury, Hop's sclerae disappear.
  • In the same scene, Kooite Pie appaeras from thin air and spikes appear on her bracelets.
• In the Italian dub, the Burn Baby Burn instrumental is used instead of Double Crossing instrumental.

• 

  Kootie Pie's missing shoes

• 

  The incorrect background

• 

  The misspelled sign

Characters

• Mario
• Luigi
• King Koopa
• Cheatsy Koopa
• Kootie Pie Koopa
• Big Mouth Koopa
• Bully Koopa
• Kooky von Koopa
• Hip Koopa (no dialogue, but laughs in one part)
• Hop Koopa (no dialogue)
• Crime Wave Clyde
• Prisoner

Cast

• Walker Boone — Mario
• Tony Rosato — Luigi
• John Stocker — Prisoner
• Harvey Atkin — King Bowser Koopa
• Dan Hennessey — Bully Koopa, Crime Wave Clyde, banker, Singer #2
• Gordon Masten — Big Mouth Koopa, Singer #1
• Michael Stark — Kooky von Koopa, Singer #3
• James Rankin — Cheatsy Koopa, Singer #4
• Paulina Gillis — Kootie Pie Koopa, Female singer
• Stuart Stone — Hip Koopa
• Tara Charendoff — Hop Koopa, Mushroom boy

Names in other languages

Language	Name	Meaning	Notes
Chinese (simplified)	罪犯反斗城 Zuìfàn Fǎndòu Chéng	Criminals R Us
French	Le crime ne paie pas	Crime doesn't pay
German	Gauner gegen Gauner[?]	Crook vs. Crook
Italian	La scuola del crimine	Crime school; might be a nod to the film Scuola di polizia
Korean	범죄도사 클라이드 Beomjoe Dosa Kulaideu	Crime Wave Clyde
Polish	Plugawcy to my	Awful is us
Portuguese (NOA)	O Crime Somos Nós	Crimes Are Us	TV dub
	Crimes e Mais Crimes	Crimes and More Crimes	BKS dub
Russian	Уроки суперпреступника Uroki superprestupnika	Supercriminal lessons
Spanish	Enemigo público número uno	Public Enemy #1
Spanish (NOE)	El crimen es lo nuestro	Crime's ours	original dub

Trivia

• Toad and Princess Toadstool do not appear in this episode.
• King Koopa calls himself "King Bowser Koopa" when he introduces himself to Crime Wave Clyde.
• Clyde's line about how he is "a supercriminal, not an animal trainer" may be a reference to the famous "I'm a doctor, not a..."-catchphrase used by McCoy in Star Trek. This had been previously referenced in the episode "Misadventures in Babysitting."
• When Big Mouth says that he is a bad dancer, he performs the Moonwalk.