The 'Shroom:Issue VI/Fake News

Fake News

by Confused and the Fake News staff

Poll of the Month Who is the strongest in terms of physical strength? A. Donkey Kong B. O'Chunks C. Kudgel D. Bowser Vote Here!

Updated Info Mario Party 8 Mini-games This month, we cover the exciting new entry into the Mario Party series, Mario Party 8! We snuck into Hudson headquarters and got sneak peek at the developing game, although by the time we'll get to post this, the game will be out. Mario Party 8 introduces some of the most fun mini-games ever and we list the top five here. Note: Some games may not appear in final version, which is probably the version you'll be playing. One game is real. Can you find it? Mushroom Fighter – in this game, the player will have a boxing match with another player in a tournament style. The last one standing wins the mini-game and the cool looking belt. Chomp 'em Up – in this game, the players choose Chain Chomps to pit against other Chain Chomps. Pick the one you think is strongest and let 'er rip! Whoever's Chain Chomp is standing at the end wins. The 200 Yard Dash – players shake the Wii Remote and press the corresponding buttons on the screen to make your character run. Whoever can reach the end first wins the mini-game. Spikes – spikes will appear all over the field, causing any players who touch it to become paralyzed. However, this paralysis lasts longer than the one caused by Earthquake. Remix Battle – the players dance to the tune and follow the song. Follow the instructions on the screen step-by-step. Whoever is the last one dancing wins the mini-game.

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Local News by Great Gonzo Lottery 3dejong and Max along with their cheese. In today’s big news two lucky people/friends 3dejong and Max2 won the Happy LuckyLottery. Collecting 2,000 Contributions and 2 Tons of Cheese each. In history only two other users have won the lottery, but two people at the same time was outrageous. The winning number was “232323”. When asked about they’re luck they said this : Max2: I can’t believe I won! 3dejong: C|-|3353 4 a y34r NO WAI! (translation:Cheese for a year NO WAY!) When asked what they were going to do with the contributions they answered with this: Max2: Well now I can live in piece at my house with my Dog = Max. 3dejong D0|\|4t3 50|\/|3 2 C|-|4r1ty (translation: Donate Some to Charity) Haunted Cabin? A small footage of the ghost. Also in the news we traveled to Poshley Heights via the Excess Express to see if Cabin 004 was really haunted. When we arrived the room seemed normal so Kylie Koopa and her camera left the room to eat, not knowing that camera was left on, nestled next to the bed. When they returned they noticed the problem, Kylie suggested that they’d watch the video. When watching they spotted Ghost T. in the cabin. A few words about the wall paper and jumping through a pic was said by the estranged Ghost.

Interview of the Month by 3dejong Interview with the Axem Rangers *BEGIN TRANSMISSION* 3D: Yello! This is 3D, interviewing the Axem Rangers for the world-infamous Fake News! Axem Red: We fight for evil! Axem Black: We live for disorder! Axem Green: We like what we do! Axem Pink: We struggle for chaos! Axem Yellow: We are... line? All: THE AXEM RANGERS! The scene of the interview. 3D: Sounds like you are one kamikaze fighting force. Axem Red: We used to be; especially while we were serving Smithy. But after he was defeated by that red-clothed guy, we decided to use Blade as a tour ship and make people pay for tours of the Mushroom Kingdom. 3D: But you still stick together, I believe. Axem Black: Yup. Even if Yellow gets into trouble, we all help out. Axem Yellow: Hey! I only got you into trouble once! And that was ecause I slipped on a ‘Shroom Shake that a Toad spilled and crash-landed us on the Shroob home world! Axem Pink: You have an answer for everything, Yellow. Axem Red: Yeah, an answer for everything but questions. Axem Green: Am I ever gonna get a line? 3D: OK, let’s begin the questions. Where did you come from? Axem Green: We’re natives of Smithy’s dimension; we made our living by fighting for a price. Smithy bribed us to battle any comers who might cause trouble for him. Axem Red: But we realized his evil purposes would only lead to estruction of the universe, so we decided to turn against him. Axem Pink: Liar! The only reason we quit was because he wouldn’t pay for our repairs to Blade after Yellow crashed him. Axem Red: No way! I realized early on that I would have to… Axem Yellow: HEY! I told you it wasn’t my fault we crashed and… Axem Black: Shut up! You’re fogging my shades! Axem Green: Am I ever gonna get to say anything more? 3D: ORDER IN THE INTERVIEW ROOM! *slams gavel* Axem Black: Where’d that gavel come from? 3D: No idea. Now, for my next question. What happened to you after you crashed in Barrel Volcano? Axem Black: We floated on Yellow to the edge. Axem Pink: It was a comfy ride. Axem Yellow: Was that an insult or a compliment? Axem Green: I used magic to protect us from burns from the lava. Axem Black: We ended up on Circuit Break Island and paid through the nose for some beetle with a wrench on his back to repair our ship. Axem Red: We decided to use Blade for tours. But later, on a tour, Yellow crashed us on the Shroob homeworld. Axem Green: To keep the Shroobs from killing us and our tourists, I bribed them with a time machine and special technology that would allow them to brainwash other species of creatures for them. Then we split back for the Mushroom Planet.. Axem Pink: Yeah, and I saw in the news that the Mushroom Kingdom of the past had been invaded by purple mushroom-like creatures that were brainwashing Mushroom species and spreading to the future and present. Any connection, Green? Axem Green: HOW WAS I TO KNOW THAT THEY WOULD… Axem Red: You should use more forethought and diplomacy in your dealings with foreign… Axem Yellow: I’m hungry! Axem Black: You just ate a ‘Shroom Cake and had two cans of Able Juice! Axem Yellow: I’m STILL hungry. 3D: One last question. If you were paid enough, would you fight back on the side of evil? Axem Green: How DARE you instigate that against us? Just for that, we blast you with our secret weapon! *Blade Cannon pops up from under auditorium* 3D: How’d that happen? Axem Green: Magic. Axem Black: HA! I planted that under the auditorium in case someone would insult us. Axem Red: That shows great forethought and… Axem Pink: Hey! My seat doesn’t match my purse and… Axem Yellow: If you’d close your big bazoo and quit babbling about fashion… Axem Red: All together now! Blade Cannon: *THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM* *3D is blasted with energy! 3D lost 500 HP!* Axem Red: We defeated the jerk who insulted us! Axem Yellow: Is there a shop anywhere near here? I need a ‘Shroom Cake… Axem Green: BLADE SUMMON! *Blade crashes through roof and destroys auditorium* Axem Red: Everyone on Blade! Axem Black: How’d that happen? Axem Green: Magic. Axem Yellow: HA! I happen to know that I parked it on the roof in case someone… Axem Green: IF you’d close YOUR big yap-hole and LET me explain… *Blade flies into distance* Axem Pink: Red, would we fight on the side of evil if anyone bribed us enough? Axem Red: What a silly question! Axem Pink: Good. I’m glad to know your love of money wouldn’t… Axem Red: Of COURSE we would! Axem Pink: You JERK! *slaps Red* *Back at the auditorium…* 3D: Next… time… I’ll… be… interviewing… someone… without… weapons… of... mass… destruction… *collapses* *END TRANSMISSION*

Cooking Section Putrid Wormy Apple Pie by Bottle Wizzerd WARNING: Area restricted to all people who stump on a lady's contact lenses, obviously on purpose. This is deadly serious. We may discuss it unless you wear overalls and have a funny 'stache. If you apply to that description, then you can go go away. I hate you. Welcome to Zess T's Cookin'! I'm Zess T., the best chef in Rogueport. The only one, in fact, since Podley buys his food online. From now on, I'll be revealing my exclusive, delicious recipes to average people like YOU. I'm that nice. Today we will be cooking a recipe I made for a Putrid Piranha Food Contest, the Putrid Wormy Apple Pie. Its delicious content and perfect mix of flavors will leave a smile on your face, I can assure it! Unless you are a Putrid Piranha. Then you will absolutely love it. Ingredients (For 6 people): 3 Apples 15 Garden Worms 2 Ratooey Tails 500 grams of Flour 700 grams of Sugar 5 Eggs 2 80's CDs Fertile Soil Cleanser (Optional) Aspirins (Optional) Note the recipe works better with rotten apples, although normal apples are fine, too. Preparation: First of all, get a huge bowl and throw some random fertile soil in it. Bake with your fingers and introduce the bowl into the microwave for 5 minutes. While the soil gets warm, grab your Garden Worms and cut them in several pieces. Be sure to spread the least blood possible - it's the best part of them, alongside the jelly-like eyes. Once the soil is boiling inside your excuse of a good microwave, take it out and toss the eggs as hard as you can into the bowl, trying to break them inside the actual bowl. Once that's done, take your worm pieces and throw them into the mix. Bake well with a wooden spoon, always clock-wise. This helps it look like a swirly tornado, and it's PRETTY. Sue me. Now, pick your 80's CDs and use a butter knife to cut them into heart-shaped figures. For some reason I have been unable to check, this makes the dessert taste much better. Mix again and throw the other ingredients in whichever order, however you like. Each order gives a different flavor to the pie... choose wisely! Just don't throw the Ratooey Tails after the sugar. That's not good. At all. Bake and mix well, and kick your bowl into the oven. Yes, the bowl too. And kick it. Kind of like if you were about to score in a soccer match. Like that. Wait around thirty minutes and take your melted bowl out of the oven. Pour in a beautiful container or whatever you want to use and optionally decorate the pie with delicious Cleanser, preferabily Shroom-O-Matic or Tide. And if you are cool, like me, then also add aspirins on top for a neat presentation. Serve cold or warm. This dessert is perfect for special occasions, like a hamster's funeral or the marriage of that aunt you hate so much. Eating too much could poison you, suck all of your Heart Points and give them to the opponent, or just plain kill you. So watch out. Well, kids, that's it for today. Next time we will be a featuring an even better dish for those of you who aren't satisfied with simple desserts. The next one will take things TO THE NEXT LEVEL, know what I mean? Heh. Of course you don't. I'm so clever. Bye, and 'til the next time! Zess T. out! Kooky Cookie by HK-47 Welcome to the Bronze Chef, where every month we create something ineffably delectable! This month our amazing recipe is for the Kooky Cookie. This delectable consumable can be prepared in a variety of ways and tastes so mouth-wateringly amazing, the Yoshi Cookie would slink off-stage embarrassed. Needless to say, this cookie is good. Now, most people would tell you that the best way to prepare this treat is with Cake Mix and a Koopa Leaf. You can do that if you want, as its your choice, and I can't make that decision for you, it is up to you. To prepare it this way, you need to travel to Koopa Village, which is a very lovely town, and the walk there is amazing, but then you need to walk to Toad Town. To combat this, I proposed that there may be a way to do this without leaving Toad Town. I found quickly that there is. On the west side of town, the Shy Guy's Toy Box contains all the ingredients you need to prepare this treat. Head off to the Shy Guy playground, near the blue station. It is here that we find both Cake Mix, the main ingredient, and Maple Syrup, the mysterious substance that replaces the Koopa Leaf. After the trek back to your abode, you may wish to pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees. Mix the Cake Mix with one half a cup of water, and an egg. Slowly add the Maple Syrup. Heat in oven at 350 degrees for ten minutes. Serves only one, although the quality more than makes up for the quantity. This cookie restores 15 FP, and may cause status effects such as Invisibility, Electrification, and Sleep. Travel Guide Gwarhar Lagoon by Monty Mole Come and see the fabulous Gwarhar Lagoon! Nestled in the southern corner of the lush Beanbean Kingdom, this tropical resort comes with everything! Points of interest include the famous Gwarhar Stone Bridge, a mysterious bridge made of stepping stones just situated in the water. No one knows how it got there, but rumor has it that certain statues around the resort hold the key. A great spot for fishing, too! Looking for a little peace and tranquility? Come and relax in the Jellyfish Sisters’ Relaxation Room. This spa will massage away all your troubles for just 200 coins per person per hour!* The proprietors, Gigi and Merri, have between them over 30 years** experience in top-of-the-line therapeutic techniques. “One of them is guaranteed to work!” says Merri. Don’t miss it! Lodging prices start at just 60 coins a night. You’ll get a fabulous room nestled right in the cliffs of the lagoon for easy access to the beach and pavilion. Complete with room service, air conditioning, and much much more! Buy your ticket to Gwarhar Lagoon today for only 80 coins.*** Go to www.gwarharnow.con for details. See you on the beach! *Refunds not available. **In Jellyfish years. In human terms, this equates to approximately six weeks. ***For underwater travel. Surface travel is an additional 120 coins, and air travel is an additional 300 coins. Glitzville by Great Gonzo Here I am! When I arrived at Glitzville to see its majestic beauty, I was greeted by a Man in a Red Hat and a Bandaged Koopa. Aside from that the main Attractions include the Glitz Pit. Also the best place for food is Mr. Hoggle’s Hot Dog Stand. Also the Juice Bar is a great place to get to know everyone. The living conditions are high, but pay is pretty good. I got the chance to meet a few special people there. Such as the Wealthy Goldbob Family. Also I met Toodles the kind toad, who had me over for dinner. The Main Attraction is the Glitz Pit, Rawk Hawk can really get people to pile in. Minor attractions are the fountains, does are fun. Especially if you jump in it. After my short stay here the Atmosphere is nice and the people are nice. Finally I blew all my money at the Souvenir Shop. As my Blimp lifted off I smiled and laid back to rest. Wanted A Great Movie is also Wanted to be Seen by an audience! Any info should be sent to 1-700-HEYGUYS Mario enters the matrix, who wouldn't want to see that movie? Front Page About Archives Comments Forum Boards (Main — Writers) Subscribe Spotlight Contact us Manual of Style Sign up