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Revision as of 03:35, January 24, 2019
Hello, and welcome to the Fake News. I've got exams this month, so I won't really be able to type up a lot here. In terms of staff changes, Marioman1213 (talk) has resigned from the Police Blotter and Yoshi K (talk) has been hired as the writer of the Sport Report. We wish them good luck for the future and in their new postion, respectively.
Tucayo (talk)'s Ask Tucayo won April's Section of the Month with 35 votes, followed by my News Flush with 28 votes.
Hello, everybody, it's Pyro back with another issue of Torture - er, Travel Guide! Last month didn't go so well (I'm sorry - I forgot to get dat dereh Kirbeh), so this month, we'll go somewhere exotic! It's Waluigi's Taco Stand!
No, I kid. We're going to a HOTTER tourist spot than Waluigi's Taco Stand or Melty Molten Galaxy could ever be. What is this fiery, burning place you ask? Lavalava Island!
Lavalava Island is a great getaway for vacation, especially for Australians, as this place is really warm compared to your winter vacation. Aaand here comes some new 6-year old American users, having no idea what the heck I'm talking about. They do know what I'm talking about, though, if I say this island has Yoshis!
That's right, there is a village of dinosaurs on the island. There's some ragtag runaway Yoshis, a fat Yoshi, and ravens. I didn't make friends with any of them, especially the ravens. Tourist tip: don't bug the ravens.
The main island consists of lots and lots of grass and a jungle full of deadly, poisonous plants and carnivorous bushes. You can pratically imagine how well that turned out for me. There's also Fuzzies who jump so fast that it would probably be true if I said that they drunk Soda Lake dry. And the most terrifying monsters on the island...Coconuts! They hit you on your head! It hurts. ' There's also a massive tree on the island, totally barren of life. Except ravens. Whoop-dee-doo. I love ravens.
Finally, there's a massive volcano in the middle of the island - Mt. Lavalava. It's scorching hot, wonderful, full of treasure, and scorching hot! I'm absolutely sick of volcanoes, but I had to go into it, because it was the hottest tourist spot on the island.
BA-DUM-CRASH.
There's also plentiful zip-lines in Mt. Lavalava, which is quite fun if you don't fall off and land head-on into the Spike Tops and Putrid Piranhas below. I discovered a hammer and a vase as well, but I just left them there.
Finally, I was chased by a Spiny Tromp and crushed by it. After I stumbled out of the volcano, I was exiled to Shy Guy's Toybox by the Yoshis. "For the funniez!"
Then, I ran out of jokes.
Hello! Welcome to the next edition of Gamer Guide. Hosted by yours truly, Yoshi K.
This month we have another new sports game, and it has, you guessed it, ZELDA Mario characters!
General Info:
Name: Super Mario Rugby
Console: Wii U
Super Mario Rugby is a spinoff sports title that features the game American football was heavily based on. Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Yoshi, DK, Wario, Waluigi, Bowser, and Bowser Jr. are the captains you can choose from at the start of the game.
The controls are simple, use the Left Stick to run, A to Tackle, B to Pitch, X to Kick, and Y to place the ball down for a try.
In SMR, you can play World Cup, Exhibition or Multiplayer with the various players the game has to offer. In World Cup, you enter your team into a big rugby tournament and try to find out who is the best player of all, in four cups. The first cup is the Mushroom Cup, which is easy, Flower Cup is medium, Star Cup is hard, and Special Cup is expert. You can unlock different players by beating these cups a certain amount of times. In Exhibition, you just play a game for fun, like all the other games that have the mode, but you can still unlock certain things if you win enough exhibition games! Now the final mode, multiplayer, in multiplayer, you can go on the Internet and play someone, or, you can play another person sitting right next to you when they use a Wii Remote, always fun!
The game was pretty good, though it could have been better, I'd say about an 8/10.
That's all for this month! If there's a game you want me to review, PM Yoshi K (Spike) on the Super Mario Boards!
Written by: Alexneushoorn (talk)
Hello, folks. This is your loving Chief Alexneushoorn. I finally managed to make enough money to pay the rent and the penalty of 12 coins, so I'm allowed to use my HQ again. Anyway, time to get to the stories. And oh boy, these stories are certainly interesting. Just sit back and listen.
1. Missing: Oinker
This Friday, Orbulon, employee of the well-known WarioWare Inc. lost his spaceship, the Oinker during a flight over Diamond City. Eyewitnesses Jimmy T. and Jamie T. saw the bowling pin-like alien fly around Club Sugar at 11:21 PM, when the Oinker suddenly went out of control. Orbulon escaped unharmed, but the Oinker flew off, with Orbulon, Jimmy T. and Jamie T. chasing after it. They eventually lost the Oinker at the harbour of Diamond City. The Oinker is a pink pig-like UFO. Please contact Koopatrol Patrol Inc. if you found the Oinker. There is a 100 coins reward.
2. Dribble and Spitz's Taxi Adventure
Dribble and Spitz, cabbies at Diamond Taxi, got a crazy taxi adventure last Wednesday Night. Late at night, the furry cabbies were just doing their work, and drove down Route 99. Dribble almost fell asleep, but Spitz, who was the smartest of the two, gave Dribble a big bowl of sugar. Dribble ate the bowl empty in one go. Suddenly, the burly speed freak went on a sugar rush, kicked the gaspedal and speeded off. Spitz realised he made a big mistake. He tried to calm Dribble down, but failed. Soon they speeded by a Diamond Police Car, who joined forces with a nearby police car of Koopatrol Patrol Inc. in order to catch the speeding cabbies. Spitz saw the cops, and then said: I already got a partner on sugar rush. I don't want the police to get involved with this. Spitz then grabbed a laser gun, opened the top of the taxi and attempted to shoot at the cops. After 2 attempts to hit the police cars, he shot both of them at the same time. Dribble and Spitz escaped from the cops. We from Koopatrol Patrol Inc. are currently looking for them.
Written by: Toadbert101 (talk)
Hey readers! I'm sure you all want some sports updates! Well, I want a way to get into sports events for free! So I decided to write Fake Sports! Wait, hold on...
*talking*
Wait a minute...
I HAVE TO PAY FOR THE TICKETS?!?!?!?!?!?!
I thought you did that!
Boss: Hey, you've got to be committed to work for us.
Ok, fine. Where am I going today?
Boss: Tennis!
What?
Boss: Just kidding, you're going here.
Well, it appears I'm going to witness a good old game of American Volleyball! Oh wait, it's the same everywhere in the world? Ok, sorry about that, it's Indoor Volleyball!
The teams that are squaring off today are very interesting, this game is between The Nimbus Land Rainbow Warriors and The Other Team. In case you were wondering, The Other Team is made up of people such as this fellow to the right. Nobody knows exactly what they are, so they're just called The Other Team.
Anyways, enough with the teams, let's explain the rules for those of you who don't know. (If you do know, you can just skip over this part)
Volleyball teams are made up of 6 players, all on the court. These teams are trying to score more points than their opponent (who knew?). To score a point, a team must either land the ball on their opponents side of the court, or have their opponent fault, which can be done by any of the following scenarios:
- A team hits the ball out of bounds.
- A team hits the ball 4 times in a row before sending the ball over the net.
- One player hits the ball 2 times in a row.
- Catching and/or throwing the ball.
- Touching the net during play.
- The server's foot crosses over the boundary line when serving.
Volleyball is played in a best-of-five series of sets, to win a set a team must score 25 points, although in the fifth set, a team only has to score 15 points. To win the match, a team must win 3 sets, anyway, let's get to the actual game.
The game got off to a slow start after the Rainbow Warrior's serve was eaten by a member of the Other Team, who misunderstood the concept of "serving". The officials didn't know what to do, so they awarded the Rainbow Warriors the point. After the clarification of the "serving" part of volleyball, The Other Team began to play extremely well, going up 20-2 in the first set before a timeout was called by the Rainbow Warriors. Me being a news reporter, I just had to get a front row seat, and it happened to be right in front of the Warriors' bench. So naturally, I heard some of the coach's speech, like "You guys are playing horrible!" and "I'm going to quit if we lose to these idiots!" You know, friendly stuff a coach would say. After the timeout, the Warriors played great, scoring 20 consecutive points to make the score 22-20 but the Other Team wasn't giving up, they scored 2 to make it tied at 22. The Warriors scored next, but The Other team eventually wins the set 25-23. That makes the score,
Other Team: 1
Rainbow Warriors: 0
Onto the Second Set, the two teams continually go back and forth and play hard. At this point it's clear the Rainbow Warriors are trying to tire out the Other Team with a slow-paced match, and it's working! After the score was tied at 12, the Warriors go on an 8-point hot streak to make the score of the set 20-12. As expected, the Other Team calls a timeout to regroup. After the timeout (an ads for AMAZING products such as the Poison Mushroom Detector), the set continues, the Rainbow Warriors pick up where they left off, scoring 3 straight, but the Other Team reads them like a book on the next 5 serves, scoring each time to make the score of the set 23-17 Warriors. After 3 more OT points, the Warriors surprise the Other Team by playing up-tempo and get 2 quick points to win the set 25-20. Making the score of the match,
Other Team: 1
Rainbow Warriors: 1
Ah yes, now it is the hard third set, where you are tired from the first two sets and need to somehow save energy for the last two. The Other Team starts off trying to conserve energy, but that doesn't work well as the Rainbow Warriors continue to play up-tempo and score 15 right off the bat, but the Other Team's coach is not concerned as play continues as normal. The Warriors continue to burn their opposition by scoring 9 more, but the serve goes out of bounds on the next play, ruining the Warriors chance at a shutout set. The Warriors do score the final point, making the score of the set 25-1 The score of the match at this point is,
Rainbow Warriors: 2
Other Team: 1
Before the fourth set, I went to ask the coach of the Other Team how he felt about his team getting crushed in Set 3, he simply said, "Right now, the Warriors are playing right into our hands with the super-fast game, that's what we want them to do, and if that includes getting demolished in one set, so be it." I honestly had no idea what he meant when the Rainbow Warriors score 12 consecutive points right at the start of the fourth set, but then after a four-hit fault by the Warriors, I saw what he meant. The Warriors are starting to burn out. The Warriors still do well, scoring 7 more in a row, but after that everything went downhill, like the beginning of the game, the Other Team scores 20 points straight in a row, making the set score 21-19 Other Team. It looks like we still have a game on our hands. The Other team then scores 3 in a row, until a Warriors player taunts a player on the Other Team, that player then throws the ball at him, starting a brawl. The officials then call a timeout to sort things out. After the best sports fight I've seen in years, the Other Team wins the set 25-20. Making the score
Other Team: 2
Rainbow Warriors: 2
Rainbow Warriors: 23 25 25 20 15 3
Other Team: 25 20 1 25 13 2
That's all for this month! Tune in next month for some more exciting sports action!
Located in the dark, damp, musty sewers of Rogueport, this run-down little shop has quite a few amazing items, but most of them aren't exactly what you'd call "cheap"; if you're on a budget, stay away! The shop owner, a young female Toad, says the reason her items are so expensive is "because, um, I just recently opened, and, um, I need money for myself and my family." I think she might not be the most confident person...
Anywho, let's get down to the items. Every single one of these babies can't be found anywhere else, unless you defeat an enemy and you're lucky enough to get one. Let's take a look-see;
- Slow Shroom; These oddly-colored mushrooms are far from disgusting; they actually act like medicine, healing you a bit with every single bite! Cost; 15 coins.
- Gradual Syrup; This syrup of unknown origin is said to have an almost-magical effect on plants when a few drops are sprinkled on them. It's also great for pancakes! Cost; 15 coins.
- Ultra Shroom; I guarantee you this will be the best mushroom you've ever tasted. Warm, shroomy flavor, buttery coating, amazing uses... extremely healthy... -drool- Cost: 200 coins.
- Jammin' Jelly; Made from the sweetest, ripest, best-tasting fruits, you will never, not once, be disappointed with a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich if you have this! Cost; 200 coins.
- Gold Bar; Rumor has it that these came from a haunted mansion, and someone in green used them to build another one... Either way, these babies are worth LOTS. Cost; 110 coins.
- Gold Bar x3; Three gold bars that are worth even more than just one. How creative, just put three things in one and it's automatically a new item... woo hoo.Cost; 350 coins.
And that is all for this shop. Before I sign off, I heard from an anonymous source that if you mix an Ultra Shroom (-drool-) and a Jammin' Jelly, you'll get something amazing... Well, I'll find out later. This has been Goomba, signing out!
Ask Paper Yoshi
Written by: Paper Yoshi (talk)
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the – well, after the original Ask Tucayo, Ask '3K and the second run of Ask Tucayo, I guess this is Season 4 of the Ask... series, so let's go with that – ANYWAY, welcome to Season 4 of the Ask... series, now with myself, Paper Yoshi (talk), as your host! Before saying anything else, I would like to thank Tucayo for giving me the amazing opportunity of writing this section, one I greatly enjoy reading. I'll be sure to do my best in this new position, and I hope we all have fun with it. However, this section depends on you, the reader, in order to be featured in the paper, so please keep the questions coming!
I've held you long enough, so let's get to what really matters: the questions! As of the time I'm writing this, I have got only two questions. Both come from this section's previous writer, Tucayo (talk), who asks:
- Why did you decide to take over Ask Tucayo?
- Well, the answer is pretty simple. If you didn't know already, I love writing for the paper, so, naturally, I wanted to write as many sections as I could, which is pretty evident in the Pipe Plaza team (I write three sections there, going over the previous limit of two sections). However, since I'm in college now, I looked for sections that are easy to write, which made me apply for Crossword and Ask Tucayo this year. Additionally, as previously stated, this is one section I have always enjoyed reading, so that's another reason I decided to apply for it.
- Since you asked me this some months ago, and I had trouble answering, I want to know your answer to the question. What is your favorite Coldplay song?
- Now that's a tricky question! Right now, my favorite Coldplay song would be... Yellow, I guess. It's a beautiful song overall, and I really like it. I also enjoy Hurts Like Heaven, Violet Hill and the live version of God Put a Smile Upon Your Face.
And that's all for this section! Remember to send me a PM if you have any questions! See you all next month!!
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