Bluster's Sale Ape-Stravaganza

Template:DKCbox "Bluster's Sale Ape-Stravaganza" is the sixteenth episode of the Donkey Kong Country TV series. During the episode, Bluster is making a TV commercial, and agrees to Cranky appearing in it. However, Donkey Kong accidentally gives him a sleeping tonic when the old Kong is gasping for air, and, to make matters worse, Candy Kong can only get a promotion if nothing goes wrong. Meanwhile, K. Rool tries to use TV to become the ruler of Kongo Bongo Island.

Plot Synopsis

The episode starts with King K. Rool watching a Bluster Barrelworks commercial, annoyed that he is forced to watch it instead of "Gator Wrestling", until General Klump calls him and shows the "secret weapon" he created, a barrel cannon, and says that Krusha will be used to test it; when the platform raises, however, he is not on it. Klump informs K. Rool that he must be watching "The Sing Along Uncle Swampy Show", making the king angry. However, when Klump states that the show gets one million viewers each week, K. Rool gets the idea to appear on TV. After Klump's question about appearing in Uncle Swampy's show, King K. Rool explains that he will require everyone via TV to be crowned the ruler of Kongo Bongo Island by stealing the Crystal Coconut on national network, using the new cannon weapon. Soon, he orders the general to get to work while he prepares to appear on TV.

In Bluster Barrelworks, Bluster is complaining that the sales are still low. Candy says that Bluster's solo appearance in the commercial is the cause. Then, she says she hired someone to appear in it for free, making Bluster interested. Candy reveals she called Cranky to confirm that the factory barrels are the best, so the sales will increase. Her boss says that she can get a promotion for doing so, but only if she doesn't mess up. Candy is calm, convinced that all is under control. Soon, Donkey Kong arrives in the factory, asking his girlfriend if she will really put Cranky on the TV. Candy answers that the deed can upgrade her career. (singing Look Out World, Cuz Here I Come) She then has Donkey Kong make sure Cranky is ready for the commercial.

At Cranky's Cabin, Cranky is watching one of Bluster's commercial, feeling sorry to have accepted appearing on one of them. A rock music show aimed at the elderly then starts, and Cranky starts dancing around his house. DK kicks the door, launching the old ape to the ground. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong, seeing Cranky breathless, search for water. Donkey Kong grabs a potion bottle, thinking it's water and gives it to Cranky, making him fall to sleep, after scolding the big monkey. Donkey Kong and Diddy then realize that Cranky has to go to Bluster Barrelworks, and that Candy promised it. However, Candy arrives at the cabin, asking for the old monkey. Donkey Kong asks Diddy to hide Cranky, while he distracts his girlfriend. He blocks the entrance, acting strange and confusing Candy, although, she manages to enter. DK says that he can explain, before Candy questions about a explanation; he then tells her that he can explain why Cranky isn't home, though Diddy arrives and says that Cranky is cutting the hair. She hears Cranky snoring, but Donkey and Diddy excuses this as, "Mice. With allergies". Candy doesn't believe them, so Diddy tells her that he is coughing, and Candy decides to leave. The apes are calm, thinking they can take Cranky to the commercial in time. DK leans on a Trigger Barrel and asks where Cranky is. Diddy states that he was hidden on one of the bridge traps, and Donkey Kong pushes down on the barrel he is leaning on, activating the trap and launching Cranky. Diddy and DK go off in search him.

Funky Kong is out flying in his plane when Cranky suddenly lands in the back seat (right when Funky quotes his horoscope, which stated that "[...]a mysterious force [would] bring [him] ancient relics from unknown places"). He is shocked to see the sleeping ape in his backseat, and asks him to get off. In the jungle, Donkey Kong notices that Cranky landed in the plane, and Diddy is calm, telling DK that they can get Funky to bring Cranky to Bluster. However, as they are about to set off, Diddy realizes that they left the Crystal Coconut unguarded. DK thinks in someone to watch to Coconut while they're out. Dixie Kong reaches and greets the two monkeys. They choose her to the job.

Meanwhile, General Klump and King K. Rool are near Cranky's Cabin, getting ready to steal the Crystal Coconut. Klump notices that nobody is there, that they can simply walk in and take it, but K. Rool still wishes to use the secret weapon, stating that just going in and taking it would not look good on TV. After shooting down Klump's idea about speaking in code if he fails, K. Rool tells him to get ready; they were about to go live. In the Kremlings lair, Krusha is watching Uncle Swampy's show, just to be suspended by King K. Rools "show".

Bluster is waiting for Cranky and Candy. Candy arrives worried, because Cranky isn't there. Bluster forces Candy to find Cranky alone. Meanwhile, Funky forces his plane to go into a spiral, to force Cranky out of it. Candy goes to the jungle, where she encounters her boyfriend and Diddy. Candy asks where he is, and Donkey tells her he is getting a manicure, but Diddy, at the same time, states that he is at the doctors; Donkey Kong decides to combine both explanations. Then, Cranky falls out of the plane. Donkey and Diddy leave Candy, notice Cranky is in a mine cart, and give chase to him.

Near Cranky's house, Klump is spying the house again and sees Dixie arriving. He interrupts King K. Rool's explanation of his plan to tell him the news in code, annoying the king, while Krusha continues to watch the broadcast. In the jungle, the apes are still chasing the mine cart, until Candy asks what they are doing and where Cranky is. They tell her that he will be there as fast as he can, and she leaves, having accepted the explanation, and DK and Diddy run off to find the old monkey. Cranky's minecart collides with another, launching him into the air. Meanwhile, Klump is still trying to tell K. Rool his news in code, though the king tells him to get the weapon ready when Cranky lands inside it. Both notice him, and they simply launch him once more. Donkey and Diddy arrive at the barrel factory when Cranky lands through the top. A barrel labeled "007" is made around him, and he is sent through the conveyer belts and is put on a rocket with various other barrels. They try to get to the rocket, though Candy, who is very angry, shows up once more and Angrily screaming where Cranky really is right when the rocket launches. Bluster then arrives and says that she will be fired if Cranky isn't there soon. Candy apologizes to them for her anger, (singing Just Remember Who You Are) and DK promises that he will find Crank, to Diddy's dislike. They decide to use Bluster's barrelcopter.

Krusha is still watching K. Rool's plan in motion, yawning, as the Kremlings show their secret cannon. Klump tries to explain the features of the weapon, but is ordered by K. Rool to get into the weapon. The Kongs notice the rocket fly right past them, dropping barrels. Donkey Kong states that he has a plan, and has Diddy pilot the copter.

Cranky's barrel rolls into K. Rool's lair as Krusha watches K. Rool about to launch Klump out of the secret weapon. However, as the weapon is about to launch the crocodile on TV, Donkey Kong lands in K. Rool's base, leaps onto Cranky's barrel, and rolls it back out; Klump takes notice of this, but disregards him when Klump is launched. He flies toward the cabin, but Dixie notices him, and closes the door. He slams into it, and the cord he is attached to causes him to fly back toward K. Rool, knocking them and the weapon away.

On the way to the factory, Donkey Kong flies off the barrel and into a rock when it slams against a log. He then grabs the barrel, and throws it toward the factory. The barrel lands on a chair set up in front of Bluster Barrelworks, releasing Cranky and waking him. Not knowing what to do, Cranky says what he is told by Bluster to the camera. Krusha is watching the commercial, and, as his TV shuts off, he wonders what happened to K. Rool. On cue, the king and Klump land in the factory, followed by the weapon, which lands on top of Klump, trapping him. He then presses a button, taking the lift they are on to a lower level.

Donkey Kong rushes to the site of the commercial, asking if everything is okay. Candy states that everything is great; Bluster told her that his mom is so impressed with everything that he wants to promote her. Donkey Kong is impressed by this, but is surprised to hear that she does not want it. She informs them that she does want big things to happen, but to her and not Bluster, and that she thinks that the life of being a TV actress is stressful. Cranky then asks Donkey and Diddy Kong what happened as she leaves, telling them that the last thing he remembers is gasping for air and being handed a bottle. Both apes, however, run away, angering Cranky.

Lyrics

• "Template:Conjecturaltext"
  (Sung by Candy Kong)

Never felt so alive
I'm a mover and a shaker with a jumpin' jive

Hey diddle diddle, forget about the middle
Take me to the top 'cause I've finally arrived
Watch out down below
I'm a-wheelin' and a-dealin' like a C.E.O.
See me shout, I feel like bustin' out
There's no tellin' how far I could go

Bull by the horns, tiger by the tail
Get out of my way, I got barrels for sale
Don't you see that I'm second to none?
Look out, world, 'cause here I come!

Ooh, swing it, baby...

World's my oyster, can't you see?
Everything's growing exponentially
There's so much opportunity
For a one-woman advertisin' factory

Never felt so alive
I'm a mover and a shaker with a jumpin' jive
Hi-dee-hi-dee-ho and a skoo-de-lee-bebop
I'm just like cream; I'm rising to the top
The future's so bright that I've got to wear shades
Look out, baby, I've got it made
Don't you see that I'm second to none?
Look out, world, 'cause here I come!

• "Template:Conjecturaltext"
  (Sung by Candy Kong)

I was blinded by ambition
When I lost my inhibition
Now suddenly I'm wishin'
To be back where I belong
In the advertising rat race
At a crazied, frenzied pace
I was taking full advantage
And that's where I went wrong

Just remember who you are
If you are what you ain't and you're not where you're at
Then you know you've gone too far

I was steppin' on my friends
I would ridicule and offend
I didn't mean to condescend
Forgive my foolish pride
I couldn't see the jungle for the trees
The business brought me to my knees
You gotta learn how to
Cheat and scam and lie

Just remember who you are
If you are what you ain't and you're not where you're at
Then you know you've gone too far
Just remember who you are
It's never too late to set yourself straight
Self-respect will make you a star

Trivia

• The announcer on Cranky's TV is voiced by Tony Rosato, the voice of Luigi in The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Mario World.