- “You clearly don't value your lives much if you've come to this castle to disturb us. You will go no farther, and from this moment on... You'll be nothing but bones!”
- —Red Bones, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
Welcome to my lair. I'm 7feetunder, and I have returned from beyond the grave to edit this wiki.
If this page looks incomplete, that's because it is. Userpage editing is extremely low on my priority list.
Past projects
- Expanded the Wario: Master of Disguise location articles to include histories, enemy lists, and treasure chest locations. That last one was the most work since I had to play through the levels and get all the chests to pinpoint what and where they were (good sources of info on this game are hard to come by). Before I edited them, these articles had almost no content.
- Split Donkey Kong Jungle Beat levels off of their kingdoms' pages.
- Expanded Wario World level articles to include level layouts, information on the various red diamond sub-levels, and locations of the various collectables, including Gold Statue fragments as well as the treasures and Spritelings.
Characters I like (in no particular order)
Characters I don't like
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Character
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Reason
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Zess T.
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Despite her age, she has the maturity of a 5-year-old kid. The way she constantly calls Mario names like "Stompy" and "Mr. Squishy" despite him paying for a new contact lens after he accidentally stepped on hers is childish and obnoxious.
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Puniper
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Whiny and irritating. You could replace all of his dialogue with "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" and nothing would change.
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Mimi
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Aside from just being annoying in general, she's responsible for the atrocity that is Chapter 2-3. I do like how she wears a different outfit for each encounter, though.
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Shadoo
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Worst. Superboss. Ever. Not only does this prick have the gall to make you go through the Flopside Pit of 100 Trials a second time just to fight him, the fight itself is a complete joke that can be easily cheesed by using Bowser's fire breath. Did they even test this crap?
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File:BoomerPixl.PNGFile:Slim.PNG
File:Fleep.PNG
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Pixls
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Pixls suck. They don't look cool, they add nothing of value to the game, and they're not a valid substitute for partners in the previous Paper Mario games. With the exception of Tippi/Tiptron, they only ever speak when you first obtain them, and for the most part, the one time they do speak, they annoy the hell out of me. No Boomer, I don't want to say "yes" to a bunch of random, increasingly ridiculous questions before obtaining you. The only ones that get a pass are Tippi/Tiptron (for being an actual character), Thudley (for actually being funny, even if he is useless), Carrie (for being the most useful Pixl and helping to mitigate one of the game's major flaws), and Cudge (making him shout profanity is the best part of the game).
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Beetle (Donkey Kong 64)
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I HATE THIS GUY! He and his races gave me so much frustration as a child, and of course, every time you lose to him, you have to hear that EAR-RAPING LAUGH. It's bad enough that I would mute the TV just so I wouldn't have to hear it. Where's some bug spray when you need it?
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Starlow
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Ugh. Aside from the usual issue with characters of this type (being bombarded with forced tutorials), her snotty personality jacks up her obnoxiousness levels into the millions. Almost every time she opens her mouth, I want to punch her in the face. Though she became more tolerable in the later games, as far as I'm concerned, she'll never live down her debut, in which she has got to be the most loathsome, unlikable little puke ever to play the role of a tutorial giver in any video game I've played.
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Star Gate
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Officially, my least favorite Mario character ever. All he does is be a douche to Luigi for no good reason, then write it off as a "test" - what bull. Not to mention Toadbert and Kylie Koopa arriving at the Star Shrine on a Lakitu renders the whole scene pointless anyway. Baby Mario had the right idea whacking him with his hammer.
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My thoughts on various Mario games
3D Platformers
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Game
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Thoughts
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Super Mario 64
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My first video game and the beginning of my eternal Mario fandom. While the game is rather easy and the boss battles are a joke, I still enjoy revisiting it.
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Super Mario Sunshine
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Another game I have fond memories of. Not the best 3D Mario, but there's no other game in the series like it. Blue coins are a tedious chore though, and they stopped me from getting 100% for a long time.
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Super Mario 64 DS
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SM64 was not meant to be played with a D-Pad, and it shows, but this remake easily makes up for that with the additional characters and missions, and to a lesser extent, the minigames. Playing it on a 3DS with the Circle Pad alleviates the control issue. As a Wario fan, I'm annoyed at how useless he is in this game. Also, why is Wario going on this adventure anyway? There's nothing in it for him, unless he has an undying love of cake that I didn't know about.
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Super Mario Galaxy
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Everybody and their grandma has praised the hell out of this game, and I don't exactly disagree with them. Great concept, visuals, design, soundtrack, etc. People overrate the difficulty of the Purple Coin missions. Honestly, my problem lies with the slow and tedious Purple Coin missions, not the fast-paced ones with the amazing music. Flying Mario is severely underutilized.
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Super Mario Galaxy 2
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The superior of the two Galaxy games in my eyes. This game takes what made the original great and polishes it to near perfection (there's no such thing as a perfect game to me). The levels are overall better and the "slow" Purple Coin missions are no more. The final boss is a joke and a half though.
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Super Mario 3D Land
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A solid 3D platformer that mixes elements of 3D Mario with 2D Mario. I liked the special worlds, even if they were mostly just harder versions of regular levels. I did NOT like, however, that it was necessary to complete every level with both Mario and Luigi to unlock Special 8-Crown and get 100%. That's just dumb.
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Super Mario 3D World
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3D World does with 3D Land what Galaxy 2 did with Galaxy 1; takes what made that game good and makes it even better. However, 100% completion has gotten even more ridiculous with each level needing to be completed with FIVE characters. Seriously, stop that. Also, I've noticed that 3D Mario has gotten gradually more linear over the years. While the linear games are good, I'd like to see a return to the more open 64/Sunshine style.
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Luigi's Mansion games
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Game
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Thoughts
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Luigi's Mansion
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I've beaten this game more times than I can count. That has a lot to do with the unfortunate short length of the game, but also a lot to do with the fact that I really enjoy playing it. It's gameplay and atmosphere are unlike any other Mario game (aside from the sequel) and it introduces one of my favorite Mario villains. An excellent first starring role for the man in green. (What is this "Mario is Missing" you speak of?)
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Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon
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Luigi's Mansion needed a sequel, and Next Level Games delivers. The gameplay and atmosphere are as good as the original and the length issue is fixed. I also enjoyed the multiplayer mode despite its glitches. One thing that bothered me though, was the lack of Portrait Ghosts or anything like them. The fact that they were people with backstories and personalities who died added a sense of depth to the setting that Dark Moon lacks.
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| Box art
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Game
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Thoughts
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Paper Mario
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A highly memorable RPG and the game that got me into Mario RPGs. It has one of the best soundtracks in the Mario series, and that's saying a lot. It starts really slow though, thanks to the inability to use action commands until the end of the prologue.
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Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
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Even better than the first game, featuring a less standard plot and more character development. The art style and atmosphere are great and the soundtrack rivals the original. One of the Mario franchise's most shining moments, and unlike its successor, it actually deserves its praise. None of the Paper Mario games that followed even came close to its level of excellence.
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Super Paper Mario
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Excellent soundtrack just like the previous games and a wonderfully creative gameplay mechanic in the form of 3D flipping. Both severely undermined by the game's sluggish pacing, numerous instances of terrible level ideas and design (2-3, 5-1, Sammer's Kingdom, 7-2, etc.), the replacement of partners with the much lamer Pixls, and overall lack of everything I liked about the first two games. The game picks up at around Chapter 3, but starts declining in quality again once Chapter 5 and ESPECIALLY Chapter 6 come. Overall a mediocre game whose appeal I don't and will likely never understand.
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Paper Mario: Sticker Star
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Super Paper Mario tried too hard to be Paper Mario and failed. Sticker Star goes wrong in the opposite direction by throwing everything people like about the series out the window. That said, I don't hate it. I did however, hate the unintuitiveness of some of the puzzles; I paid multiple visits to GameFAQs before finishing this game.
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Paper Mario: Color Splash
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Basically, Sticker Star: The Good Version. Many of Sticker Star's flaws are patched up here, though the game still shares its almost complete lack of original characters and overabundance of generic Toad NPCs. It's environments are more interesting than its predecessor's generic NSMB-fare, and the puzzles are more intuitive; not once did I need to use GameFAQs. My favorite area is probably the Green Energy Plant; I really liked its creative use of SMB3 nostalgia alongside the 3-D flipping mechanic from SPM.
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