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{{italic title|List of ''Wario Land 4'' quotes}}
[[File:WL4-newspaper.PNG|frame|The Newspaper article seen in the game's opening cut-scene.]]
This is a list of quotes from the game ''[[Wario Land 4]]''.
[[File:WL4-Steaks.PNG|frame|The Newspaper article seen in the game's ending cut-scene.]]
This is a list of quotes found in the [[Game Boy Advance]] game ''[[Wario Land 4]]''.


==Quotes in the game==
==Quotes in the game==
*''"[[Golden Pyramid|Legendary Pyramid]] discovered deep in Jungle!! [[Legendary Treasure]] nearly found, but accidents hindered findings."'' – [[:File:WL4-newspaper.PNG|Newspaper article]] seen in the game's opening cut-scene.
*"''[[Golden Pyramid|LEGENDARY PYRAMID]] DISCOVERED DEEP IN JUNGLE!! [[Legendary treasure]] nearly found, but accidents hindered findings''" – {{file link|WL4-Newspaper.png|Newspaper article}} seen in the game's opening cut-scene.
*''"Owww!"'' – [[Dr. Arewo Stein]], when [[Wario]] hurts him.
*"''Owww!''" – [[Mad Scienstein|Arewo Shitain-hakase]], when [[Wario]] hurts him.
*''"Stop that, please!"'' – Dr. Arewo Stein, when [[Wario]] hurts him repeatedly.
*"''Stop that, please!''" – Arewo Shitain-hakase, when [[Wario]] hurts him repeatedly.
*''"Win [[Frog Medals|medals]] in mini-games."'' – The [[Game Bot]]s in the [[Mini-Game Shop]].
*"''Win [[Medal (Wario Land 4)|medal]]s in minigames.''" – The [[Game Bot]]s in the [[Mini-Game Shop]].
*''"Want to play some more?"'' – The Game Bots, after Wario finishes playing a mini-game.
*"''Want to play some more?''" – The Game Bots, after Wario finishes playing a mini-game.
*''"Don't you want to play?"'' – The Game Bots, when Wario leaves the Mini-Game Shop without playing a mini-game.  
*"''Don't you want to play?''" – The Game Bots, when Wario leaves the Mini-Game Shop without playing a mini-game.  
*''"Welcome to the [[Item Shop (Wario Land 4)|Item Shop]]."'' – [[Princess Game & Watch]] welcoming Wario to the Item Shop.
*"''Welcome to the [[Item Shop (Wario Land 4)|Item Shop]].''" – the [[shop owner]].
*''"Here's a [[Smile]] for you!"'' – Princess Game & Watch, when Wario selects the Smile item in the Item Shop.
*"''Here's a [[Smile]] for you!''" – the shop owner, when Wario selects the Smile item in the Item Shop.
*''"Leaving without buying?"'' – Princess Game & Watch, when Wario exits the Item Shop without buying anything.
*"''Leaving without buying?''" – the shop owner, when Wario exits the Item Shop without buying anything.
*''"Meow!"'' – The [[Black Cat]] in the [[:File:WL4-Boss Corridor.OGG|corridor]] before a [[Wario Land 4#Bosses|boss]] battle.
*"''Meow!''" – [[Kuro Neko]] in the [[#Media|corridor]] before a [[Wario Land 4#Bosses|boss]] battle.
*''"Oh no, no! Hurry up!"'' – Wario, when he hits the [[Frog Switch]] in a [[Wario Land 4#Passages|level]].
*"''No, no, no! (growls) Hurry up!''" – Wario, when he hits the [[Switch (Wario Land 4)|switch]] in a [[Wario Land 4#Passages|level]].
*''"Oh sorry!"'' – Wario saying sorry to the player when no [[Wario Land 4#Controls|buttons]] are pressed in a while, and he starts [[:File:Cute Jumprope Land.gif|working out]].
*"''Oh sorry!''" – Wario saying sorry to the player when no [[Wario Land 4#Controls|buttons]] are pressed in a while, and he starts {{file link|WarioJumpropeWL4.gif|working out}}.
*''"Hello there!"'' – English introduction to the Japanese vocal-covered [[Karaoke (Medamayaki)|Karaoke]].
*"''Hello there!''" – English introduction to the Japanese vocal-covered [[Karaoke (Medamayaki)|Karaoke]].
*''"Thank you, Wario…♥"'' – Princess Shokora, after Wario rescues her from the [[Golden Diva]] and brings her to safety outside the [[Golden Pyramid|Pyramid]].
*"''Thank you, Wario…♥''" – Princess Shokora, after Wario rescues her from the [[Golden Diva]] and brings her to safety outside the [[Golden Pyramid|Pyramid]].
*''"Steaks! Eat as much as you can!!"'' – [[:File:WL4-Steaks.PNG|Newspaper article]] seen in the game's ending cut-scene.
*"''Steaks! Eat as much as you can!!''" – {{file link|WL4-Steaks.png|Newspaper article}} seen in the game's ending cut-scene.
*''"If you continue with this saved data, every boss will be revived!"'' – Wario explaining to the player at the end of the game.
*"''If you continue with this saved data, every boss will be revived!''" – Wario explaining to the player at the end of the game.
{{br|right}}
{{br|right}}
==Quotes in the manual==
==Quotes in the manual==
===[[Wario|My]] Secret Diary (Do NOT read without my permission!) November 19, 2001===
On a peaceful morning filled with the chirps of cheery birds, I was reading the morning paper and doing a little nose-cleaning. "Wh-Wh-What!?" I exclaimed in surprise. I was so surprised by one article in the paper, I accidentally jammed my finger straight up my nose! "Aaargh! I think I just poked my brain!" Anyway, enough 'bout that. The headline of the article said that a [[Golden Pyramid|legendary pyramid]] had been discovered. Hmmmmm... When I read the article, I learned that the ruins held the buried pyramid where the [[princess Shokora]], who once ruled this area, had been put into a cursed sleep by the arrogant, selfish, money-crazed Golden Diva. "Do I smell treasure again?" I thought. "Heh, heh, hehhhh!" As this wicked laugh floated through my mind, I was already thinking about the money and nothing else! Forgetting even to take my mid-morning nap, I hopped into my fantastic [[Wario Car|Wario car]] and headed for the Golden Pyramid. "All that treasure for me! Guhahaha!"
===A fun day in my life! You! Pay attention!===
*'''7:00 a.m. – Wake Up'''
**Asleep in my favorite sofa bed, dreaming of treasure. ZZZ! ZZZ! ZZZ! All of a sudden, a cockroach crawls up my nose! I wake up, freaking out!! Is little roachie gone for good?!
*'''7:30 a.m. – Breakfast'''
**Inhale a light meal of two gallons of milk, three loaves of French bread, a little cheese, and six raw eggs in a gulp - all in one minute. And since I'm such a worldly guy, I read the paper at the same. I just skip all the hard words!! But today I get a great tip about some treasure!!
*'''7:40 a.m. – Bathroom'''
**I like to stretch out my daily scheduled bathroom time!! Ahhh, that's better! I think I may be having some plumbing problems, because my toilet always seems to block up. Whatever!! I don't care!
*'''9:00 a.m. – Going Out'''
**I feel like The Man hopping into my wonderful Wario Car, but I feel something weird on my backside!! Eww!! It's pigeon poop!! Guh!! I don't have a hankie, so I'll just wipe it away with my Wario hat. No problem! I thought I'd take a leisurely drive to the pyramid, but I run out of gas!! Oh no! I'll just have to push the car to the next gas station... haa haa-wheeze...
*'''12:00 p.m. – Lunch'''
**I ate ten hot dogs at the gas station at 10:00, but I'm still feeling pretty hungry, so I eat three plates of spaghetti. It's still not enough, but hey, I'm on a diet!! I have spaghetti sauce all over my mouth, so I wipe it on my Wario hat... Arrghh! Yeech! What's that taste?! Ahh, whatever!!
*'''3:30 p.m. – Treasure'''
**Huff! Puff! I finally find a treasure chest! As I slowly open it, I find a shiny golden... NOTHING! Crud! I've been tricked! That stupid newspaper!! I'm suffering from "Empty Chest Syndrome"!! Har Har!! Get it?!
*'''6:00 p.m. – Home'''
**When I open the door to the hideout, I notice - uggh, arggh-the toilet has spewed water everywhere!! I can't even describe how gross it is!!
*'''7:00 p.m. – Snack'''
**After taking care of the toilet problem, I settle down for an evening snack. I wolf down ten plates of the liver and onions I brought on the way home and ten pancakes!! I'm still a bit peckish!
*'''8:00 p.m. – Evening Exercise'''
**While listening to country music, I do ten sets of 100 push-ups each. That's how I do such powerful attacks!! And also because I watch pro wrestling!! I like to cheer for Big Bama and Neutron B!!
*'''10:00 p.m. – Sleep'''
**Bath - NO! Brush teeth - NO! Don't be like me, kids! Then off to the sofa bed and more dreams... For some reason, I dream of cockroaches!! I wake up and hear a strange clicking noise inside my head... Roachie?!!
===Miscellaneous quotes===
*''"So these are my basic controls! You got a problem with that? Pretty easy, huh? What?! You say it’s hard? Stop complaining and just learn it! If you can’t hold it in your brain, write it down on your hand!"'' – [[Wario]] describing his in-game controls.
*''"So these are my basic controls! You got a problem with that? Pretty easy, huh? What?! You say it’s hard? Stop complaining and just learn it! If you can’t hold it in your brain, write it down on your hand!"'' – [[Wario]] describing his in-game controls.
*''"I ain’t normal! And I don’t mean that I’m stupid! I can do aaalllll kinds o’ stuff that normal humans can’t, you know what I mean? How ‘bout that? Amazing, huh?"'' – Wario informs the reader of his skills.
*''"I ain’t normal! And I don’t mean that I’m stupid! I can do aaalllll kinds o’ stuff that normal humans can’t, you know what I mean? How ‘bout that? Amazing, huh?"'' – Wario informs the reader of his skills.
*''"My brain is amazing! It’s full of wrinkles, and… Uh… Wait… What am I trying to say?"''  – Wario messing up his words.
*''"My brain is amazing! It’s full of wrinkles, and… Uh… Wait… What am I trying to say?"''  – Wario messing up his words.
*''"Rumour has it that no one who’s entered the [[Golden Passage]] have ever come out alive! Scary!"''– Wario warning the player of the dangers found in the Golden Passage.  
*''"Rumor has it that no one who’s entered the [[Golden Passage]] have ever come out alive! Scary!"''– Wario warning the player of the dangers found in the Golden Passage.  
*''"HEY! Open up the [[vortex]] for me, you warty little frog!"'' – Wario urging the [[Frog Switch]] to open the vortex, in order to escape the level.
*''"HEY! Open up the [[vortex]] for me, you warty little frog!"'' – Wario urging the [[Switch (Wario Land 4)|switch]] to open the vortex, in order to escape the level.
*''"Yeahhhhh, that’s ME!!! More gorgeous than any Hollywood star! Get a good look at me while you can!!"'' – Wario describing himself.  
*''"Yeahhhhh, that’s ME!!! More gorgeous than any Hollywood star! Get a good look at me while you can!!"'' – Wario describing himself.  
*''"Have some fun, why don’t cha! Play [[minigame|mini-games]]!"'' – Wario showing his love for the [[Mini-Game Shop]].
*''"Have some fun, why don’t cha! Play [[minigame|mini-games]]!"'' – Wario showing his love for the [[Mini-Game Shop]].
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*''"My game has a lot of action in high places, but to tell you the truth, I’m afraid of heights!! Waaah! Scary! I’m wigging out!!!"'' – Wario admits his fear of heights.
*''"My game has a lot of action in high places, but to tell you the truth, I’m afraid of heights!! Waaah! Scary! I’m wigging out!!!"'' – Wario admits his fear of heights.
*''"I don’t always speak so crudely, you know. I’m just worried about you because you play so badly!! Why do I care? Because I’m the one that feels it when you screw up, that’s why!!! So just try to get better at this game, OK?! I’m begging you!"'' – Wario, worried that the player will lead Wario into some danger.
*''"I don’t always speak so crudely, you know. I’m just worried about you because you play so badly!! Why do I care? Because I’m the one that feels it when you screw up, that’s why!!! So just try to get better at this game, OK?! I’m begging you!"'' – Wario, worried that the player will lead Wario into some danger.
*''"For some reason, [[Coin (Wario Land 4)|coins]] appear when you smash enemies! For some other reason, crystals float around the stages! Don’t think about it too hard, Einstein! There are some supernatural phenomena in the world that just can’t be explained!!"'' – Wario informing the reader about the Coins.
*''"For some reason, [[Coin (Wario Land 4)|coins]] appear when you smash enemies! For some other reason, crystals float around the stages! Don’t think about it too hard, Einstein! There are some supernatural phenomena in the world that just can’t be explained!!"'' – Wario informing the reader about the coins.
*''"Haven’t you kids ever done something that made you look stupid? Oh, is that right? Well, FINE then! But even the powerful Wario gets into some embarrassing situations in this game! I eat too much and get all chubby, a bee stings my face and makes it swell like a balloon, my body catches fire, and all kinds of other bad things happen to me!! But I’m a tough guy, so I keep coming back for more! You wimps could learn something from me!"'' – Wario gives examples of his tough times.
*''"Haven’t you kids ever done something that made you look stupid? Oh, is that right? Well, FINE then! But even the powerful Wario gets into some embarrassing situations in this game! I eat too much and get all chubby, a bee stings my face and makes it swell like a balloon, my body catches fire, and all kinds of other bad things happen to me!! But I’m a tough guy, so I keep coming back for more! You wimps could learn something from me!"'' – Wario gives examples of his tough times.
*''"Burp! Grunt! Wheeze! I sweat buckets with every step and I can hardly breathe! How could my slim, gorgeous body get like THIS? I shouldn’t have gotten so greedy and eaten all those apples!! I guess you really are what you eat!!"'' – Wario, just transformed into [[Fat Wario]].  
*''"Burp! Grunt! Wheeze! I sweat buckets with every step and I can hardly breathe! How could my slim, gorgeous body get like THIS? I shouldn’t have gotten so greedy and eaten all those apples!! I guess you really are what you eat!!"'' – Wario, just transformed into [[Fat Wario]].  
*''"Those pesky bees!! They’ve made my beautiful face swell up like a balloon! What?! You say I look better this way? I won’t even be able to star in my own commercials looking like this!!"'' – Wario, just getting stung by a [[Beezley]].
*''"Those pesky bees!! They’ve made my beautiful face swell up like a balloon! What?! You say I look better this way? I won’t even be able to star in my own commercials looking like this!!"'' – Wario, just getting stung by a [[Beezley]].
*''"When that twerpy little bat [[Minicula]] bites me and sucks my blood, I turn into a bat! My big, macho arms turn into puny little wings!! By the way, what’s my blood type? You sucked my blood, the least you can do is tell me that!! What a pest!!"'' – Wario, getting a little fired up after transforming into [[Vampire Wario|Vampire Bat Wario]].   
*''"When that twerpy little bat [[Minicula]] bites me and sucks my blood, I turn into a bat! My big, macho arms turn into puny little wings!! By the way, what’s my blood type? You sucked my blood, the least you can do is tell me that!! What a pest!!"'' – Wario, getting a little fired up after transforming into [[Bat Wario]].   
*''"I’ve been smashed flat by a [[Compressor|weight]]!! You’d expect my guts to be all squished and squashed, but wait! What’s this?! How mysterious! How could this be! Now I feel very light and I can squeeze into thin passageways!!"'' – Wario, just made [[Flat Wario|Flat]].
*''"I’ve been smashed flat by a weight!! You’d expect my guts to be all squished and squashed, but wait! What’s this?! How mysterious! How could this be! Now I feel very light and I can squeeze into thin passageways!!"'' – Wario, just made [[Flat Wario|Flat]].
*''"When a [[Menhammer|mallet]] hits my head, my long, toned legs turn into a spring! Not great, but it lets me jump amazingly high!"'' – Wario, just transformed into [[Bouncy Wario]].
*''"When a [[Menhanmā|mallet]] hits my head, my long, toned legs turn into a spring! Not great, but it lets me jump amazingly high!"'' – Wario, just transformed into [[Bouncy Wario]].
*''"Hey!! Wait a sec! What’s happened to me!? I’ve got a fork sticking out of me, but I’m no piece of meat! Who stuck this in me? I’ll get you!"'' – Wario, just transformed into a [[Zombie Wario|Zombie]]
*''"Hey!! Wait a sec! What’s happened to me!? I’ve got a fork sticking out of me, but I’m no piece of meat! Who stuck this in me? I’ll get you!"'' – Wario, just transformed into [[Zombie Wario]].
*''"Somebody! Give me some tissues! It’s not that I need to go to the bathroom or anything, but a lump of snow just fell from the ceiling, and I’ve become a big [[snowman]]! Now my nose is running like crazy! What’ll [[Nintendo]] do if their BIG STAR gets a cold?!"'' – Wario, overreacting about transforming into [[Snowman Wario]].
*''"Somebody! Give me some tissues! It’s not that I need to go to the bathroom or anything, but a lump of snow just fell from the ceiling, and I’ve become a big [[snowman]]! Now my nose is running like crazy! What’ll [[Nintendo]] do if their BIG STAR gets a cold?!"'' – Wario, overreacting about transforming into [[Snowman Wario]].
*''"Uh oh! Trouble! I can’t get out of here! I’ve been trapped inside a big [[bubble]]!! I’m in bubble trouble! That’s just a little joke of mine, heh heh!! How ‘bout it? Funny huh? You should write that one down!"'' – Wario, just transformed into [[Bubble Wario]].
*''"Uh oh! Trouble! I can’t get out of here! I’ve been trapped inside a big [[bubble]]!! I’m in bubble trouble! That’s just a little joke of mine, heh heh!! How ‘bout it? Funny huh? You should write that one down!"'' – Wario, just transformed into [[Bubble Wario]].
*''"Goo-waaah!! Help! I’m on fire! Somebody! Help! In the time it’s taken me to say this, my whole body’s been covered in flames! Don’t you think this is just too much?! I blame the game programmers! I’ll remember this! GRRR!!"'' – Wario holding grudges when transformed into [[Flaming Wario]].
*''"Goo-waaah!! Help! I’m on fire! Somebody! Help! In the time it’s taken me to say this, my whole body’s been covered in flames! Don’t you think this is just too much?! I blame the game programmers! I’ll remember this! GRRR!!"'' – Wario holding grudges when transformed into [[Flaming Wario]].
*''"Hey! After burning, I have to freeze?!! Aaah! What’s going on with this game?! Is this some kind of cruel experiment? Anyone else would’ve given up by now!!"'' – Wario, [[Frozen Wario|Frozen]] and fed up.
*''"Hey! After burning, I have to freeze?!! Aaah! What’s going on with this game?! Is this some kind of cruel experiment? Anyone else would’ve given up by now!!"'' – Wario, [[Frozen Wario|Frozen]] and fed up.
*''"Taking care of most of my [[:Category:Wario Land 4 Enemies|enemies]] is easier than taking candy from babies – which I highly recommend, by the way!! What enemies, you ask? All those stupid little creatures, of course!! Still, there are some enemies that can give me trouble… but I just power through ‘em anyway! Wham! Pow! Blam!"'' – Wario, explaining how he handles his enemies.
*''"Taking care of most of my [[:Category:Wario Land 4 enemies|enemies]] is easier than taking candy from babies – which I highly recommend, by the way!! What enemies, you ask? All those stupid little creatures, of course!! Still, there are some enemies that can give me trouble… but I just power through ‘em anyway! Wham! Pow! Blam!"'' – Wario, explaining how he handles his enemies.
*''"He brags about being a great painter, but trust me - his personality is anything but great! I know, because I'm so charming, right?! Whatever!! I just wish he'd wear pants!! It's only polite, don't you think?!"'' – Wario describing [[Hoggus]].
*''"He brags about being a great painter, but trust me - his personality is anything but great! I know, because I'm so charming, right?! Whatever!! I just wish he'd wear pants!! It's only polite, don't you think?!"'' – Wario describing [[Hoggus]].
*''"He looks like a pushover... Too bad he's not an enemy! I'm out here risking my life and he just sleeps all day! Hey! Keyzer! You'd better wake up and smell the coffee or I'm to smack you one real nice!!"'' – Wario giving his opinions on [[Keyzer]].
*''"He looks like a pushover... Too bad he's not an enemy! I'm out here risking my life and he just sleeps all day! Hey! Keyzer! You'd better wake up and smell the coffee or I'm to smack you one real nice!!"'' – Wario giving his opinions on [[Keyzer]].
*''"You guys know what [[CD]]s are right? That's right, those little shiny record-things! I still listen to records, but maybe you kids don't know anything but CDs these days... Whatever!!"'' – Wario explaining to the reader what CDs are.
*''"You guys know what [[CD]]s are right? That's right, those little shiny record-things! I still listen to records, but maybe you kids don't know anything but CDs these days... Whatever!!"'' – Wario explaining to the reader what CDs are.
{{BoxTop}}
 
==Media==
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[[Category:Wario Land 4]]
[[Category:Quotes|Wario Land 4]]
[[Category:Wario Land 4|*]]

Latest revision as of 08:57, June 4, 2024

This is a list of quotes from the game Wario Land 4.

Quotes in the game[edit]

  • "LEGENDARY PYRAMID DISCOVERED DEEP IN JUNGLE!! Legendary treasure nearly found, but accidents hindered findings" – Newspaper articleMedia:WL4-Newspaper.png seen in the game's opening cut-scene.
  • "Owww!" – Arewo Shitain-hakase, when Wario hurts him.
  • "Stop that, please!" – Arewo Shitain-hakase, when Wario hurts him repeatedly.
  • "Win medals in minigames." – The Game Bots in the Mini-Game Shop.
  • "Want to play some more?" – The Game Bots, after Wario finishes playing a mini-game.
  • "Don't you want to play?" – The Game Bots, when Wario leaves the Mini-Game Shop without playing a mini-game.
  • "Welcome to the Item Shop." – the shop owner.
  • "Here's a Smile for you!" – the shop owner, when Wario selects the Smile item in the Item Shop.
  • "Leaving without buying?" – the shop owner, when Wario exits the Item Shop without buying anything.
  • "Meow!" – Kuro Neko in the corridor before a boss battle.
  • "No, no, no! (growls) Hurry up!" – Wario, when he hits the switch in a level.
  • "Oh sorry!" – Wario saying sorry to the player when no buttons are pressed in a while, and he starts working outMedia:WarioJumpropeWL4.gif.
  • "Hello there!" – English introduction to the Japanese vocal-covered Karaoke.
  • "Thank you, Wario…♥" – Princess Shokora, after Wario rescues her from the Golden Diva and brings her to safety outside the Pyramid.
  • "Steaks! Eat as much as you can!!" – Newspaper articleMedia:WL4-Steaks.png seen in the game's ending cut-scene.
  • "If you continue with this saved data, every boss will be revived!" – Wario explaining to the player at the end of the game.

Quotes in the manual[edit]

My Secret Diary (Do NOT read without my permission!) November 19, 2001[edit]

On a peaceful morning filled with the chirps of cheery birds, I was reading the morning paper and doing a little nose-cleaning. "Wh-Wh-What!?" I exclaimed in surprise. I was so surprised by one article in the paper, I accidentally jammed my finger straight up my nose! "Aaargh! I think I just poked my brain!" Anyway, enough 'bout that. The headline of the article said that a legendary pyramid had been discovered. Hmmmmm... When I read the article, I learned that the ruins held the buried pyramid where the princess Shokora, who once ruled this area, had been put into a cursed sleep by the arrogant, selfish, money-crazed Golden Diva. "Do I smell treasure again?" I thought. "Heh, heh, hehhhh!" As this wicked laugh floated through my mind, I was already thinking about the money and nothing else! Forgetting even to take my mid-morning nap, I hopped into my fantastic Wario car and headed for the Golden Pyramid. "All that treasure for me! Guhahaha!"

A fun day in my life! You! Pay attention![edit]

  • 7:00 a.m. – Wake Up
    • Asleep in my favorite sofa bed, dreaming of treasure. ZZZ! ZZZ! ZZZ! All of a sudden, a cockroach crawls up my nose! I wake up, freaking out!! Is little roachie gone for good?!
  • 7:30 a.m. – Breakfast
    • Inhale a light meal of two gallons of milk, three loaves of French bread, a little cheese, and six raw eggs in a gulp - all in one minute. And since I'm such a worldly guy, I read the paper at the same. I just skip all the hard words!! But today I get a great tip about some treasure!!
  • 7:40 a.m. – Bathroom
    • I like to stretch out my daily scheduled bathroom time!! Ahhh, that's better! I think I may be having some plumbing problems, because my toilet always seems to block up. Whatever!! I don't care!
  • 9:00 a.m. – Going Out
    • I feel like The Man hopping into my wonderful Wario Car, but I feel something weird on my backside!! Eww!! It's pigeon poop!! Guh!! I don't have a hankie, so I'll just wipe it away with my Wario hat. No problem! I thought I'd take a leisurely drive to the pyramid, but I run out of gas!! Oh no! I'll just have to push the car to the next gas station... haa haa-wheeze...
  • 12:00 p.m. – Lunch
    • I ate ten hot dogs at the gas station at 10:00, but I'm still feeling pretty hungry, so I eat three plates of spaghetti. It's still not enough, but hey, I'm on a diet!! I have spaghetti sauce all over my mouth, so I wipe it on my Wario hat... Arrghh! Yeech! What's that taste?! Ahh, whatever!!
  • 3:30 p.m. – Treasure
    • Huff! Puff! I finally find a treasure chest! As I slowly open it, I find a shiny golden... NOTHING! Crud! I've been tricked! That stupid newspaper!! I'm suffering from "Empty Chest Syndrome"!! Har Har!! Get it?!
  • 6:00 p.m. – Home
    • When I open the door to the hideout, I notice - uggh, arggh-the toilet has spewed water everywhere!! I can't even describe how gross it is!!
  • 7:00 p.m. – Snack
    • After taking care of the toilet problem, I settle down for an evening snack. I wolf down ten plates of the liver and onions I brought on the way home and ten pancakes!! I'm still a bit peckish!
  • 8:00 p.m. – Evening Exercise
    • While listening to country music, I do ten sets of 100 push-ups each. That's how I do such powerful attacks!! And also because I watch pro wrestling!! I like to cheer for Big Bama and Neutron B!!
  • 10:00 p.m. – Sleep
    • Bath - NO! Brush teeth - NO! Don't be like me, kids! Then off to the sofa bed and more dreams... For some reason, I dream of cockroaches!! I wake up and hear a strange clicking noise inside my head... Roachie?!!

Miscellaneous quotes[edit]

  • "So these are my basic controls! You got a problem with that? Pretty easy, huh? What?! You say it’s hard? Stop complaining and just learn it! If you can’t hold it in your brain, write it down on your hand!"Wario describing his in-game controls.
  • "I ain’t normal! And I don’t mean that I’m stupid! I can do aaalllll kinds o’ stuff that normal humans can’t, you know what I mean? How ‘bout that? Amazing, huh?" – Wario informs the reader of his skills.
  • "My brain is amazing! It’s full of wrinkles, and… Uh… Wait… What am I trying to say?" – Wario messing up his words.
  • "Rumor has it that no one who’s entered the Golden Passage have ever come out alive! Scary!"– Wario warning the player of the dangers found in the Golden Passage.
  • "HEY! Open up the vortex for me, you warty little frog!" – Wario urging the switch to open the vortex, in order to escape the level.
  • "Yeahhhhh, that’s ME!!! More gorgeous than any Hollywood star! Get a good look at me while you can!!" – Wario describing himself.
  • "Have some fun, why don’t cha! Play mini-games!" – Wario showing his love for the Mini-Game Shop.
  • "This game is perfect for empty-headed dunces that don’t like to think much!! Of course, I’m a genius… I wonder why I’m so good at it?!" – Wario describing his skills for the mini-game The Wario Hop.
  • "My game has a lot of action in high places, but to tell you the truth, I’m afraid of heights!! Waaah! Scary! I’m wigging out!!!" – Wario admits his fear of heights.
  • "I don’t always speak so crudely, you know. I’m just worried about you because you play so badly!! Why do I care? Because I’m the one that feels it when you screw up, that’s why!!! So just try to get better at this game, OK?! I’m begging you!" – Wario, worried that the player will lead Wario into some danger.
  • "For some reason, coins appear when you smash enemies! For some other reason, crystals float around the stages! Don’t think about it too hard, Einstein! There are some supernatural phenomena in the world that just can’t be explained!!" – Wario informing the reader about the coins.
  • "Haven’t you kids ever done something that made you look stupid? Oh, is that right? Well, FINE then! But even the powerful Wario gets into some embarrassing situations in this game! I eat too much and get all chubby, a bee stings my face and makes it swell like a balloon, my body catches fire, and all kinds of other bad things happen to me!! But I’m a tough guy, so I keep coming back for more! You wimps could learn something from me!" – Wario gives examples of his tough times.
  • "Burp! Grunt! Wheeze! I sweat buckets with every step and I can hardly breathe! How could my slim, gorgeous body get like THIS? I shouldn’t have gotten so greedy and eaten all those apples!! I guess you really are what you eat!!" – Wario, just transformed into Fat Wario.
  • "Those pesky bees!! They’ve made my beautiful face swell up like a balloon! What?! You say I look better this way? I won’t even be able to star in my own commercials looking like this!!" – Wario, just getting stung by a Beezley.
  • "When that twerpy little bat Minicula bites me and sucks my blood, I turn into a bat! My big, macho arms turn into puny little wings!! By the way, what’s my blood type? You sucked my blood, the least you can do is tell me that!! What a pest!!" – Wario, getting a little fired up after transforming into Bat Wario.
  • "I’ve been smashed flat by a weight!! You’d expect my guts to be all squished and squashed, but wait! What’s this?! How mysterious! How could this be! Now I feel very light and I can squeeze into thin passageways!!" – Wario, just made Flat.
  • "When a mallet hits my head, my long, toned legs turn into a spring! Not great, but it lets me jump amazingly high!" – Wario, just transformed into Bouncy Wario.
  • "Hey!! Wait a sec! What’s happened to me!? I’ve got a fork sticking out of me, but I’m no piece of meat! Who stuck this in me? I’ll get you!" – Wario, just transformed into Zombie Wario.
  • "Somebody! Give me some tissues! It’s not that I need to go to the bathroom or anything, but a lump of snow just fell from the ceiling, and I’ve become a big snowman! Now my nose is running like crazy! What’ll Nintendo do if their BIG STAR gets a cold?!" – Wario, overreacting about transforming into Snowman Wario.
  • "Uh oh! Trouble! I can’t get out of here! I’ve been trapped inside a big bubble!! I’m in bubble trouble! That’s just a little joke of mine, heh heh!! How ‘bout it? Funny huh? You should write that one down!" – Wario, just transformed into Bubble Wario.
  • "Goo-waaah!! Help! I’m on fire! Somebody! Help! In the time it’s taken me to say this, my whole body’s been covered in flames! Don’t you think this is just too much?! I blame the game programmers! I’ll remember this! GRRR!!" – Wario holding grudges when transformed into Flaming Wario.
  • "Hey! After burning, I have to freeze?!! Aaah! What’s going on with this game?! Is this some kind of cruel experiment? Anyone else would’ve given up by now!!" – Wario, Frozen and fed up.
  • "Taking care of most of my enemies is easier than taking candy from babies – which I highly recommend, by the way!! What enemies, you ask? All those stupid little creatures, of course!! Still, there are some enemies that can give me trouble… but I just power through ‘em anyway! Wham! Pow! Blam!" – Wario, explaining how he handles his enemies.
  • "He brags about being a great painter, but trust me - his personality is anything but great! I know, because I'm so charming, right?! Whatever!! I just wish he'd wear pants!! It's only polite, don't you think?!" – Wario describing Hoggus.
  • "He looks like a pushover... Too bad he's not an enemy! I'm out here risking my life and he just sleeps all day! Hey! Keyzer! You'd better wake up and smell the coffee or I'm to smack you one real nice!!" – Wario giving his opinions on Keyzer.
  • "You guys know what CDs are right? That's right, those little shiny record-things! I still listen to records, but maybe you kids don't know anything but CDs these days... Whatever!!" – Wario explaining to the reader what CDs are.

Media[edit]

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