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Hello again, and welcome to ''Random Image of the Month'', Palette Swap's most-voluntary section. After a month off (because voluntary, remember), I return to look at another image from the vast Mario canon. This month, we take a look at the boxart for one of my favorite SNES games and my second favorite puzzle game (after my beloved ''Yoshi'' (NES), of course), ''Tetris Attack'', the Yoshi-themed reskin of the popular fairy-based puzzle game ''Panel de Pon''. | Hello again, and welcome to ''Random Image of the Month'', Palette Swap's most-voluntary section. After a month off (because voluntary, remember), I return to look at another image from the vast Mario canon. This month, we take a look at the boxart for one of my favorite SNES games and my second favorite puzzle game (after my beloved ''Yoshi'' (NES), of course), ''Tetris Attack'', the Yoshi-themed reskin of the popular fairy-based puzzle game ''Panel de Pon''. | ||
[[File: | [[File:Tetris Attack SNES cover.jpg|center|500px|The North American SNES boxart for Tetris Attack. In the upper left, "Tetris" is spelled out in yellow lettering on green panels, while "Attack" is written underneath in blue lettering. The bottom left has an ERSB "E" rating, with the bottom right has the Super Nintendo Entertainment System logo and the words "Two Player Game!" in yellow lettering on a blue panel. The upper right corner has "only for Nintendo" written on an orange background. The bulk of the box is devoted to the central artwork, which shows the various panels which appear in the game falling together. An angry red block with a face is about to fall onto the rest of the panels.]] | ||
This boxart is a liar! In fact, even the game title is a liar! It calls itself ''Tetris Attack'', implying that it's either ''Tetris'' or a ''Tetris''-like game, but it isn't! It's not connected to ''Tetris'' at all. The only things it has in common with ''Tetris'' are that it's a puzzle game and that its blocks have colors! The boxart even asks you when you last had a "''Tetris'' attack", and, well, I hope your answer isn't a long period of time, because if you play ''Tetris Attack'', you're not about to end your ''Tetris'' drought! I get why, in theory, Nintendo would advertise it as a ''Tetris'' game. ''Tetris'' was and still is the most popular puzzle game of all time, and I'm sure using the ''Tetris'' name helped push copies. I'm less clear on why The Tetris Company would allow the usage of the ''Tetris'' name. Although, if I had to guess, it probably had something to do with Nintendo dropping off a big sack full of cash. | This boxart is a liar! In fact, even the game title is a liar! It calls itself ''Tetris Attack'', implying that it's either ''Tetris'' or a ''Tetris''-like game, but it isn't! It's not connected to ''Tetris'' at all. The only things it has in common with ''Tetris'' are that it's a puzzle game and that its blocks have colors! The boxart even asks you when you last had a "''Tetris'' attack", and, well, I hope your answer isn't a long period of time, because if you play ''Tetris Attack'', you're not about to end your ''Tetris'' drought! I get why, in theory, Nintendo would advertise it as a ''Tetris'' game. ''Tetris'' was and still is the most popular puzzle game of all time, and I'm sure using the ''Tetris'' name helped push copies. I'm less clear on why The Tetris Company would allow the usage of the ''Tetris'' name. Although, if I had to guess, it probably had something to do with Nintendo dropping off a big sack full of cash. | ||
Latest revision as of 03:52, June 20, 2024
Director's Notes
Welcome to the new year, all! It's the January 'Shroom!
I hope you all had a good December, whatever holiday you may celebrate. I had some time off of work and got to spend it with my family, which was much needed. January has already started out well- the epilogue for the Scarlet and Violet DLC was a real treat to play through, and I really hope Pokemon does this for future games. The care they put into crafting the narrative is obvious, and their effort is appreciated.
This month, we have a new section starting- ClawgripFan9001 is starting a story based on his Fake News section Sport Report: Sport Report: The Movie! You can read the first part of the story this month in the debut! Unfortunately, we are also losing a member this month. Our faithful poet, Meta Knight (talk), is ending Meta's Poem. You will still be able to find him in other parts of The 'Shroom, but Palette Swap will miss you, Meta Knight!
Happy reading!
~FunkyK38
Section of the Month
It's time to see who won Section of the Month! Coming in first this time is winstein (talk)'s The ? Panel! Following that are Waluigi Time (talk)'s two sections, first Shmaluigi, Private Investigator and then Waluigi Time Comic. Thank you to everyone who voted this month!
| PALETTE SWAP SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | The ? Panel | 14 | 46.37% | winstein (talk) |
| 2nd | Shmaluigi, Private Investigator | 9 | 30.00% | Waluigi Time (talk) |
| 3rd | Waluigi Time Comic | 7 | 23.33% | Waluigi Time (talk) |
Meta's Poem
Written by: Meta Knight (talk)
The following poem you're about to read was created during Roserade's (talk) Poemtober 2022. For those unaware, during the month of October, every day you feel like, you create a poem! Each day had a prompt that was a singular word and you could write about however you interpreted it. This poem was written for the theme Perish. If you wish to know more about the creative process, or anything like that, you're welcome to read my commentary as well. This will be the last poem I submit for quite some time.
A Gift
As time passes to age is a side-effect of living,
Death is evidence of the beauty that once was.
To take the hours for granted is a waste,
Every grand and minute moment should count now make haste!
Random Image of the Month
Hello again, and welcome to Random Image of the Month, Palette Swap's most-voluntary section. After a month off (because voluntary, remember), I return to look at another image from the vast Mario canon. This month, we take a look at the boxart for one of my favorite SNES games and my second favorite puzzle game (after my beloved Yoshi (NES), of course), Tetris Attack, the Yoshi-themed reskin of the popular fairy-based puzzle game Panel de Pon.
This boxart is a liar! In fact, even the game title is a liar! It calls itself Tetris Attack, implying that it's either Tetris or a Tetris-like game, but it isn't! It's not connected to Tetris at all. The only things it has in common with Tetris are that it's a puzzle game and that its blocks have colors! The boxart even asks you when you last had a "Tetris attack", and, well, I hope your answer isn't a long period of time, because if you play Tetris Attack, you're not about to end your Tetris drought! I get why, in theory, Nintendo would advertise it as a Tetris game. Tetris was and still is the most popular puzzle game of all time, and I'm sure using the Tetris name helped push copies. I'm less clear on why The Tetris Company would allow the usage of the Tetris name. Although, if I had to guess, it probably had something to do with Nintendo dropping off a big sack full of cash.
Now on the complete flipside of advertising, I would argue this boxart fails to push Tetris Attack's greatest strength, that being its Yoshi branding. This is a game that features both Bowser and Yoshi! Furthermore, it came out at a time when the Yoshi brand was probably at its strongest, coming fresh off the release of Yoshi's Island, one of the SNES's best-selling games. I would assume the whole point of adding Yoshi to this was not just because Yoshi had his own little spinoff puzzle series already, but also that Nintendo wanted to use a really hot mascot to move extra copies. So why wouldn't they prominently highlight the fact that this is a Yoshi game on the boxart? Like, not only did Yoshi and Yoshi's Cookie feature Yoshi in the title, but both prominently put Yoshi on the cover. So you know that the consumer's eye is drawn to Yoshi! But you don't put Yoshi on the box of the re-skinned game! I just don't understand why you wouldn't, first off, call it something like Yoshi's Tetris Attack, or at least put Yoshi on the cover. That way the consumer sees it and immediately knows that this is a Yoshi game.
I'm not saying that this is a bad boxart per se. I like how colorful it is, and it it at least shows what kind of game it is. I think the pissed off block is a pretty good little touch and adds some flavor to it. I just think it's kind of a marketing mess. First, you use the Tetris brand, but, like, if somebody was a fan of Tetris, they're going to know that this isn't Tetris. Then you go through the effort to add Yoshi flavor all over the game, replacing all the characters with characters from the red-hot Yoshi's Island game. You even include Bowser as the main villain. But you don't put any references to Yoshi on the boxart at all? Like, I know that the back of the box features Yoshi and references Bowser, but that requires the consumer to be interested enough to pick up the box and read the back, and it just seems like it would have been a lot smarter to throw Yoshi on the boxart somehow. That way the consumer could immediately identify that this is a Yoshi game. My point is that I think they leaned into the wrong aspect. I don't think they needed to use the Tetris branding for this boxart; rather, I think they should have leaned into the Yoshi aspects.
The ? Panel
Goomba (others): [Repeating] Mario's approaching!
[Mario stops, looking at one of the Goombas]
Goomba #1: Ha, Mario! You shall not pass!
[Mario looks up at the towering Goombas]
Goomba #2: As you can see, we, the Goombas, have decided that enough is enough: we are not going to get stomped any longer! So, we formed a tower to stop you from stomping us. Impressive, huh?
[Mario rolls his eyes, arms akimbo]
Goomba #1: Nyeh, we even blocked you! We're unstoppable! What are you going to do now, huh?
[Mario rolls over the bottom-most Goomba, which was sleeping, knocking it away and collapsing the entire Goomba Tower]
Goomba #3: Hey, get back here! We have prepared our assault for days! You can't just let it all go to waste! Think about uuuuuuus!
[Mario got out of the roll running off, while the knocked away Goomba remains dazed. Mario grunts "Hoo Hoo!"]
[Luigi got knocked into the ground in the small state by the collapsed Goomba tower, implying that he got damaged. One Goomba has a pair of binoculars dropped on it.]
Goomba: Eh, close enough.
Shmaluigi, Private Investigator
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk) and Ninja Squid (talk)
Tidal Terror: Part 2
I rushed back home through the night, constantly looking over my shoulder the whole way. I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd been spotted and followed from the docks, but then again, situations like these tend to make me a touch paranoid. And yet, the only thing I could think about the whole time was the Sticky Warrior. I kept trying to rationalize it, but I saw him with my own eyes directly working with an infamous internationally wanted criminal. I told myself that there was some good reason and it wasn't what it looked like.
The fact of the matter is, I was probably kidding myself. I just couldn't bring myself to admit it.
Finally, I made it back home and locked up behind me. Getting back here brought a sense of relief, as if I was in a safety bubble of sorts. Then the bubble popped as I heard a voice behind me.
"Mmmm hmm hmm! Looks like you've found yourself something convenient sweetie! There might be an important roof in town where you'll make a crucial finding with these glasses. Mmm hmm! Yes, I can totally tell. Good luck out there, my little cheese stick! ❤"
I spun around to see the infamous badge thief Ms. Mowz standing on top of my desk. Before I could fully process that she was here or what she said, the next thing I knew she was jumping out an open window. I was sure I didn't leave it open when I left... After taking a moment to recover from the shock, I shut the window and closed all the blinds.
By now, I was physically and mentally exhausted. There was just too much buzzing around in my mind, and it had been far too long of a day. I'd have to deal with this tomorrow...
After a night of poor sleep, I dragged myself out of bed and went through my usual morning routine. I was only working with three, maybe four hours of sleep, but at least I sort of had a head start by spending a lot of that time awake figuring out what my next move was. Chasing down Kreep seemed, to me, like a fool's errand. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to take the guy down myself, but what's a lone private investigator going to do that countless law enforcement agencies haven't been able to?
No, my target was the Sticky Warrior. I just couldn't accept that he had turned. There had to be some explanation for this, and I was determined to find out exactly what he was up to. Then there was the whole thing with Ms. Mowz, which I still wasn't sure what to make of. I first encountered her during the Rogueport investigation all those years ago, and as far as I was aware, she was at least an acquaintance of the Sticky Warrior. I had to be careful about this, but she seemed to be pointing me towards the JojaMart rooftop... I figured it couldn't hurt to check. Hopefully I'd be alone up there, though, otherwise things might get a bit awkward. At least Mr. Morris wouldn't be giving me any trouble.
With my objective set, I set out for JojaMart with the spy glasses I'd found yesterday still stashed away in my trenchcoat pocket. Those things made me nervous, but if I was understanding Ms. Mowz right, they would be crucial here. I just couldn't shake the feeling that I'd touch the wrong thing and activate a deadly laser beam or something. Actually, hopefully there wasn't a tracking device on them... Then again, if there was, I probably wouldn't have found them lying in an alley.
Getting on top of the JojaMart roof was... well, it was an experience. I'm not quite the acrobat that the Sticky Warrior is. Let's just say it involved leaping off of a dumpster and grabbing onto a ladder and that it probably didn't look very graceful, and leave it at that. Thankfully, I was alone - both on the ground and up here.
"Alright, let's see what we've got," I said to myself, putting the spy glasses on top of my regular glasses once again.
I gave the city a good scan, looking around, adjusting the zoom, and moving around the rooftop. Surely there was something important to see from here, and I had a feeling it wasn't that incredibly distracting hot dog vendor on the sidewalk over there. Seriously, who puts that many flashing lights on a hot dog stand? That thing is absolutely gaudy.
I kept looking around, but all I saw was the usual city life. Pedestrians moving along the sidewalks, vehicles driving here and there... That one guy just tossed a banana peel out of the driver's window. There's a traffic hazard.
Then I finally saw it - the Sticky Warrior himself, entering what looked like a hidden passageway. I tried to get a closer look, but stepping closer made it become practically invisible. Of course, big deal, a ninja entering a secret passage. That doesn't really mean anything. I had to examine this building further, which the zoom function proved more than adequate for. And...
Kreep.
That had to be the most soul-piercing gaze I'd ever seen. It had to be coincidence, right? He was staring directly at me, but from that far away, surely he didn't see me... I wasn't sure if the horrible feeling in my stomach was from making direct eye contact with a criminal of his caliber or from getting yet another confirmation that the Sticky Warrior was working for him, but one thing was for sure - I felt sick.
That seemed like my cue to leave, so I hightailed it out of there as fast as possible.
Well, the business at JojaMart wasn't comforting, for more reasons than one. But I still had another lead, and that was this so-called vigilante group the Sticky Warrior was working with. I didn't have a whole lot to work with, but one thing I did have was connections. I figured if anyone willing to cooperate would know about this organization's presence in the city, it would be Chief Palmer, so I went over to NWPD headquarters to have a chat with the big guy.
"Ah, Shmaluigi, I didn't expect to see you again so soon," he said with a welcoming tone, "I assume you need something?"
"You know Shmaluigi too well, chief. Sort of ran into a dead end on an investigation," I said, pulling the glasses case from my pocket and setting it on the chief's desk. "It seems there's a vigilante group operating around here with this logo. Are you aware of, well... anything about them, really?"
"Hm... Yeah, I am, actually. Just came up in an active case. Now let me see, where did I put that..." the chief trailed off as he got up from his desk and began to shuffle through some files. "Truth be told, we weren't sure what to make of it ourselves. How's your intel?"
"At this point, kind of questionable, to be completely honest..."
He continued rummaging before finally pulling out a single folder and returning to his seat. "Found this poor guy strangled to death and dumped in an alleyway earlier this week. Looks like the same symbol here."
He showed me the folder which contained photographs from the crime scene. The Chomp Bro. in the photos looked a lot worse for wear, but that was clearly the same logo that the Sticky Warrior had on a patch on his shirt. I took particular notice of the scratch marks around the unfortunate soul's throat, and from what I'd heard, I had a feeling I knew exactly who left them there.
"That must have been the guy Kreep was talking about," I muttered to myself.
The moment I mentioned the name, Chief Palmer's expression soured. You'd think I just told him his dog died, from the looks of it. "Kreep? Shmaluigi, what have you gotten into now? He's an international menace."
The chief could be a worrier when it came to me, but then again, it's not like I hadn't given him good reason many times. "Well, Shmaluigi was out last night and saw Kreep at the docks. He's up to something here in the city, but the details are pretty fuzzy. And... it seems like an old acquaintance of Shmaluigi's is working with him."
"Shmaluigi... I'm not saying this as your boss, since what you do as a private investigator is your own business, really. I'm just saying this as someone who's been around the block a few times. You need to back off. You are not equipped to deal with him by yourself, and for that matter, I'm not even sure if this department is. A while back, I talked to the police chief over in Inkopolis. She said they tried to take Kreep down the last time he was active over there, and they lost some of their best men during the operation. All for nothing, of course, since he's still at large."
"But chief-"
"Look, if Kreep's plotting something here, I'll call around to some of the other cities. Maybe I'll even contact the crown and see if we can bring in the big guns. But for your own good... stay out of it. Please."
Before I could say anything, I heard a loud bang and the whole office rumbled.
"What in the world?" the chief exclaimed.
We didn't have to wonder long. Almost immediately, the calls came pouring in to report a massive explosion and fire at the New Wikisburg General Hospital. As if this day wasn't bad enough for me personally, now we had to have something go horribly wrong on a massive scale. Naturally, it called for an all-out response.
"Mind if Shmaluigi catches a ride?" I asked.
"Well, be my guest," the chief replied.
We arrived at the scene, which was already swarming with fire and police presence trying to mitigate the disaster. No doubt the reporters would be here soon to join the fray. We got out of the squad car and Chief Palmer rushed to convene with the rest of his officers. I stayed back, just staring in disbelief at the devastation as the flames and smoke pillared ever higher. I could only hope that there were no fatalities, but I wondered what could have caused such massive destruction...
In the midst of the chaos, I glanced away from the blaze, and I could have sworn I saw a short figure obscured in shadow observing the scene. It was literally a blink and you'll miss it moment - the figure was gone on a double take, and I wasn't even sure if I actually saw it or I was getting really paranoid. But it sure did resemble the Sticky Warrior...
At this point, I couldn't take it anymore. Was Kreep behind this attack? Maybe. He was certainly heinous enough. I had hoped the Sticky Warrior hadn't gone full-blown criminal, but now, with everything I'd seen, I was convinced that what was left of those hopes was nothing more than mere delusions.
I stormed off with clenched fists and grinding teeth. This was going to end now.
As night fell, I returned to the docks where I'd seen Kreep and the Sticky Warrior the night before. Presumably they would be meeting here again at some point, and when they did... I actually didn't think it through much. A bit too blinded by rage at the moment. But something would happen.
Anyway, I climbed into the nearest trash can and lied in wait for them. It's not exactly sanitary, but hey... old habits die hard.
Unfortunately for me, things didn't exactly go according to plan. I wasn't sure what was going on out there, but the trash can started moving. Surprisingly enough, that's never happened to me before, although I have had people throw garbage on my head... For now, I decided to wait and stay hidden.
Eventually, the moving stopped. I waited for a while to make sure the coast was clear and then peeked out...
Only to find myself face to face with a bunch of baddies armed to the teeth, and Kreep himself.
"Well, well, well... What do we have here?"
To be continued...
We like doing cliffhangers in this arc, can you tell? Thanks for reading the second part of this story, and special thanks to my co-writer Ninja Squid who also wrote the dialogue for Ms. Mowz! Be sure to come back next time to see what happens in the conclusion of this arc!
Sport Report: The Movie
Written by: ClawgripFan9001
World 1: The Great Rescue Operation Begins - Part 1
It was a gorgeous sunny day in the Mushroom Kingdom, and Toad Town was chock full with people from all over the Mushroom World. You may be wondering why Toad Town was so full of people today? Why, today was the day the Annual Mushroom World Games took place! The Mushroom World Games were the biggest sporting event in the Mushroom World, with people from all over the Mushroom World coming to the Games to either participate or spectate. News reporters from all over the Mushroom World also came to the event to give a live coverage of it, with one news reporter in particular being present to cover it all.
This particular news reporter was a large red Sidestepper wearing a blue bandana on his head, and he was holding a microphone in his left pincher. A grin was plastered on his face as a Lakitu cameraman was filming him. The Lakitu cameraman gave the Sidestepper reporter the sign that they were good to start filming, so the cameraman hit “Record” so that the reporter could start doing his coverage.
“Ahoy, lasses, gents an’ wee nippers o’ all ages! Welcome ta this very special edition o’ the Sport Report! I be yer sports lovin’ reporter, ClawgripFan9001, comin’ at ye live from the biggest sports event o’ the Mushroom World; The Annual Mushroom World Games!” The reporter, whose name was revealed to be ClawgripFan9001 spoke in an excited tone of voice.
“This year’s edition o’ the Mushroom World Games be shapin’ up ta be an excitin’ one, ‘cause there’s famous athletes from all o’er the Mushroom World competin’ this year; Mario, ‘is brother Luigi, Princess Peach o’ the Mushroom Kingdom ‘erself, Princess Daisy o’ Sarasaland, Wario, Waluigi, Toad, Toadette, Koopa Troopa, Yoshi, Birdo, Bowser, Bowser Junior, the Koopalings, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Dixie Kong, Funky Kong, Rosalina, an’ the list be goin’ on, mateys! We be moments away from the opening ceremony fer this year’s Games, an’ the tension be so thick, ye could cut it with a cutlass! Argh, argh, argh, argh, argh!” ClawgripFan9001 laughed happily, clearly excited to be covering this sports event today.
Suddenly, ClawgripFan9001 could hear a drum roll as he turned to the large stage he was standing in front of, as Super Troupers began shining across the stage, and Princess Peach herself, along with all of the famous athletes that ClawgripFan9001 mentioned earlier came onto the stage, with the crowd erupting into loud cheering, with ClawgripFan9001 happily joining them.
“This is it, mateys! The opening ceremony fer the Mushroom World Games be about ta commence! Now listen carefully ta what Princess Peach ‘as ta say, ‘cause I be pretty sure she ain’t gonna tell us again!” ClawgripFan9001 told the camera as he turned back to the stage, with his Lakitu cameraman doing the same thing, focusing his camera on the stage.
Princess Peach smiled and waved to the crowd, wearing her pink sports outfit that she became known for whenever she attended a sporting event in the Mushroom World or even the Olympic Games in the real world for that matter. Once the cheering of the crowd died down, the princess began to speak.
“Good day, ladies and gentlemen, good day, boys and girls, and welcome to the opening ceremony of the Annual Mushroom World games! I’m so glad you could all join us here today for the biggest sports event that the Mushroom World has to offer, and I can promise you that you won’t be disappointed by what this year’s edition of the Games have to offer! We have all the events that you’ve come to love and expect from the Games, including the 100m Sprint, 110m Hurdles, Long Jump, Triple Jump, Javelin Throwing, Hammer Throwing, 100m Freestyle Swimming, Synchronised Swimming, all of those events, they’re here this year!” Princess Peach spoke with excitement as the crowd cheered once more.
“Now, before we commence this year’s edition of the Games, I would like to give the word to the hero that’s saved our kingdom for years on end; Mario!” Princess Peach continued as Mario stepped forward, the crowd cheering as he did so.
“Thank you, thank you. Both to the princess for letting me give this speech, and to the audience for giving me this warm welcome,” Mario spoke with a lighthearted chuckle before clearing his throat. “So, I’m aware that it’s been a long time since I’ve shown my face in the Mushroom Kingdom ever since Bowser kidnapped the princess in an attempt to marry her. I’m sure you’re aware that for a while, Bowser and I have had a shaky relationship with the princess as a result of her rejecting our marriage proposals,” Mario explained as the crowd murmured amongst each other as the red clad plumber said this.
“As a result of the shaky relationship I had with the princess for a while, me and my brother Luigi found it a good idea to leave the Mushroom Kingdom for a while to live in New Donk City, in the Metro Kingdom. Likewise, Bowser found it a good idea to leave the Mushroom Kingdom alone for a while to spend time with his family in Dark Land, and after having spent some time away from the confines of the Mushroom Kingdom, both Bowser and myself found ourselves able to speak with the princess again, which, I’m sure most of you are aware of, has led to the peace treaty between the Mushroom Kingdom and the Koopa Kingdom,” Mario continued to speak as the crowd began speaking a bit louder amongst themselves.
“Since our shaky relationship has been repaired, I have decided that the time is finally there for me, Bowser and Luigi to return to the Mushroom Kingdom. For that, I would like to thank the princess. For giving me the opportunity to repair our shaky relationship, I would like to thank the princess. Finally, for allowing everyone, including the members of the Royal Koopa Family to participate in this year’s edition of the Mushroom World Games, I would like to thank the princess. This year’s edition of the Games wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for the princess. Thank you,” Mario concluded his speech as the crowd cheered once more.
As Mario stepped back and Princess Peach stepped forward again, the princess began to speak again. “Well said, Mario. You really have a way with words,” she said with a smile before turning back to the crowd. “Now, without further ado, it is time for the Games to begin!” the princess announced as the crowd cheered once more before the ground suddenly began rumbling, and fireballs began raining down on Toad Town as the crowd began screaming in panic.
“Yar! It appears Toad Town be under attack! What dastardly dock rat would ‘ave the gall ta interrupt the biggest sports event o’ the Mushroom World?!” ClawgripFan9001 asked his cameraman before his cameraman pointed up at the sky, with ClawgripFan9001 looking up as a black hippopotamus/pterosaur hybrid was flying in the sky alongside seven similarly black hippopotamus/pterosaur hybrids.
This hippopotamus/pterosaur hybrid also had bright red hair styled in a military haircut along with orange eyes, and he wore a white general like uniform. He laughed evilly as him and his species began descending towards the crowd.
“Greetings and salutations, Mushroom Kingdom! It is I, that panic provoking warlord, General Zellon!” The hippopterosaur spoke as most of the athletes on stage looked shocked while Mario scowled. “Now, I am terribly sorry for interrupting the Mushroom World Games today, but unfortunately, the Mushroom World Games were responsible for overshadowing the biggest sports event of my lands; The Zellon Games! And if me and my people cannot enjoy the same amount of publicity that the Mushroom World Games get, then you people cannot enjoy the Mushroom World Games today!” General Zellon continued to speak before raising his hands.
“And now, to teach you people a lesson!” General Zellon declared before firing a tractor beam from his hands that proceeded to open up a portal to his Dark Lands, and all of the athletes on stage, as well as the audience began to get sucked into the portal.
“Yar, I won’t stand fer this behavior! Let those people go, ya hurley burler!” ClawgripFan9001 told General Zellon as he pulled out a cutlass and proceeded to leap towards General Zellon to attack him.
“Oh, what is this? Someone other than Mario himself is brave enough to stand up to me? Such courage will be punished! Begone!” General Zellon shouted as he fired a blast of dark magic at ClawgripFan9001 that knocked him back towards the ground before firing a second blast of dark magic at ClawgripFan9001 that caused him to fall asleep.
“Ha, ha, ha, ha! Now there won’t be anyone to interfere with my plan! Off to the Dark Lands we go!” General Zellon declared as him and his species went through the portal as well, and the portal closed. ClawgripFan9001 was still out cold on the ground, snoring as he did so.
“ClawgripFan…” A voice spoke to ClawgripFan9001 as he slowly began to wake up, snoring lightly. “ClawgripFan…” The voice spoke again as ClawgripFan9001 began to yawn. “ClawgripFan, wake up!” The voice spoke once more as ClawgripFan9001 fully woke up, grunting as he got up from where he was on the ground earlier.
In front of ClawgripFan9001 were his Lakitu cameraman and a White Shy Guy. “Finally, you’re awake! I’ve been trying to wake you up for a few hours now!” the White Shy Guy beamed.
“Yar…Thanks fer wakin’ me up there, laddie…Blasted General Zellon got me real good…” ClawgripFan9001 groaned as he rubbed his head. “By the way, do ye ‘ave a name?” he then asked the White Shy Guy curiously.
“I do! My name is Winston!” the White Shy Guy replied.
“I see…Well, it be great ta meet ye, Winston. I wish it be under more lighthearted circumstances, ‘owever…” ClawgripFan9001 sighed, sounding bleak.
“You’re not alone, ClawgripFan. After General Zellon knocked you out cold, everything went downhill. Him and his children, the Zellonlings took all of the athletes and all of the audience members to his Dark Lands. The only people he left behind were you, your cameraman and myself. And now that we have no athletes and no audience, we’ll be unable to commence the Mushroom World Games,” Winston told ClawgripFan9001.
“Yar, then we know what ta do, laddie! We’re goin’ ta General Zellon’s Dark Lands, an’ we’ll be takin’ back every single athlete an’ audience member ‘e took from ‘ere! Are ye with me?” ClawgripFan9001 asked Winston and his cameraman.
“You said it, ClawgripFan9001! We’re just in time to save the Mushroom World Games!” Winston beamed, being ready to go on an adventure to save the Mushroom World Games.
“You know it! As Mario himself always says: “Let’s-a-go!”” the Lakitu cameraman chimed in as the trio began making a dash for Toad Town Harbor so that they could get ClawgripFan9001’s ship in order to sail to General Zellon’s Dark Lands and rescue the people that General Zellon abducted.
Meanwhile, back at his castle at the heart of his Dark Lands, General Zellon was gloating as he was holding Mario and Luigi captive in a cell. “Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Now that I got Mario, his scaredy cat brother along with all the other heroes of the Mushroom World in my evil clutches, no one will be able to stand in the way of initiating the Zellon Games without any resistance!” General Zellon spoke happily.
Suddenly, General Zellon’s eldest son, Johann Sebastian Zellon ran up to him. Johann was a hippopotamus/pterosaur hybrid, much like his father, except that Johann possessed white hair styled in a neat combover along with yellow eyes and wore a commander uniform.
“Father, we have a problem!” Johann spoke as he proceeded to inform his father of ClawgripFan9001 and his party sailing towards the first of his Dark Lands.
“What?! That overgrown Sidestepper from before has gathered up a party and is making their way towards our Dark Lands?!” General Zellon asked Johann in disbelief.
“Yes, and they are making their way towards that land with the eerie stone ground and swamp!” Johann informed him.
“The land with the eerie stone ground and swamp? That would be Dreary Moors,” General Zellon replied back.
“What will we do to hinder their progress, father?” Johann then asked his father.
“Not to worry, Johann. I will send your youngest sibling and his troops to take care of this,” General Zellon assured him before pulling out a communication device and speaking into it. “Phillip, could you come over here, son?” General Zellon spoke into the communication device before putting it away again.
Shortly afterward, General Zellon’s youngest son, Wonga Phillip Zellon flew into the area and landed in front of his father. Much like his father and older brother, Phillip was a hippopotamus/pterosaur hybrid and had black hair styled in a pompadour along with light green eyes and wore a commander uniform, much like his older brother.
“You called for me, father?” Phillip asked his father with a smile.
“I did. There is a group of heroes on their way to Dreary Moors, and they are likely to try and free the heroes we have locked up around there. I need you and your troops to go to Dreary Moors and stall the heroes’ progress,” General Zellon explained to Phillip.
“Not to worry, father. I will do anything in my power to stop the heroes from advancing into their journey,” Phillip assured him before flying off into the air, towards Dreary Moors.
"And there it is! The start of my Fake News reporter persona's greatest adventure yet! I actually had this section intended to be featured in Issue 200 of The 'Shroom, but due to how big it was going to be, it obviously wasn't going to be finished in time for Issue 200, so instead I decided to launch it as a regular section here in Palette Swap! Hopefully you'll enjoy ClawgripFan9001 and Company's adventures in the Dark Lands over the months that are to follow!"
| The 'Shroom: Issue 202 | |
|---|---|
| Staff sections | Staff Notes • The 'Shroom Spotlight • Directorial Address |
| Features | Fake News • Fun Stuff • Palette Swap • Pipe Plaza • Critic Corner • Strategy Wing |
