The 'Shroom:Issue XIV/Fake News

Fake News

Fake News Team

Local News Where's the vigor? VANISHING PATROLLERS!!! Around two weeks ago, the MarioWiki's Patrollers disappeard without a trace. Booster, Blitzwing, and Stumpers left behind no notifaction as to their whereabouts or why they left. Shortly thereafter, three new SysOps of the same names appeared, thaking on their personalities as well. Whether or not they are the same users is still unknown, but the Fake News is too lazy to look into it. 3RD Anniversary The time has come yet again to prepare for the MarioWiki's anniversary. Wayoshi is the head of the team that gives out the awards. Members of the team have special access to a secret area of the Forums.

Obituaries By: Stooben Rooben Hullo there! I'm Stooben Rooben and I like it when people die! ...Huh? You think that's cruel? Well, that is my line of work... Biff Atlas - (A ghost, DEAD?!) Biff, just before falling from the wall. Biff Atlas, a toned bodybuilder, died last month from a hernia. While lifting several tons of iron, Biff collapsed under the weight of a 5,000-pound dumbbell. Unable to move and call for help, he died quietly two nights later. Luigi, being the lime-green plumber he is, decided to suck up Biff's ghostly remains with the Poltergust 3000. Later, during a vicious kart race through Luigi's Mansion, Biff's painting fell from the wall and was run over by Luigi's Poltergust 4000. It was then discovered why it's called Mario Kart and not Luigi Kart Yoshi (1 Billion B.C. - 2008 A.D.) Yoshi, trying to fix the crick in his back. Yoshi, perhaps the most loved dinosaur ever, died last week of a drug overdose. After carrying babies around for a good portion of his life, Yoshi suffered from severe back pains. With the unbearable pain, Yoshi had no choice but to go to a doctor. The doctor prescribed him Vicodinosaur. Yoshi was instructed to take half of a pill, but he instead took half OF the pills. A ceremony will be held on Yoshi's Island two weeks from today to honor the poor dinosaur. ...*sobs and runs away* Kamek (WHO CARES ABOUT THIS CREEP!?) Stinkin' Kamek on his stupid broom. Kamek, that stupid magikoopa dude that's always trying to kidnap babies and kill Yoshi, died last week. After hearing about Yoshi's death, he got so excited, he fell off his broom. He fell to the ground and made a big SPLAT until he liquefied or something into a puddle. He leaked down into a sewage drain, so he won't have a funeral. WHATEVER! HE'S DEAD AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS FREAK!!!

Cooking Guide By: Yoshster Yoshster: Today we are here with famous traveling chef, Chef Shimi! What are we cooking today? Chef Shimi: A pasty Healthy Salad! NO! I mean a TASTY Healthy Salad! Stupid tongue! Healthy Salad - Serves 3 Ingredients 8 Turtuly leaves 6 HorseTails 3 Fresh Veggies RECIPE Lay out all the turtley leaves against the side of the bowl. Grind the horsetails. Dice 2 of the fresh veggies.#Mix the horsetails and the diced fresh veggies together. It's a badge! ...But it's not a police badge. LAME! Slice the last fresh veggie into 2 pieces. Take the sliced fresh veggies and place them into the center of the bowl. Take the mixture of the fresh veggies and horsetails and lay them between the sliced fresh veggies and the turtley leaves. Yoshster: That looks scrumptious! Chef Chimi: Yes, thank you! It's one of my whiniest dishes! No! Stupid tongue! I meant, it's one of my FINEST dishes! Yoshster: I guess that's it for this issue! See you next month.

Fake Music By: Smiddle I, Smiddle, have stalked The Thes for months just to get an interview. However, to tease you, I won't post it here. I will just post the songs of the album, which you can find by just going to any online encyclopedic site. Wow, I sure do phail. Anyway, like a chocolate chip cookie sitting, waiting to get eaten, I've sat and waited for something funny to happen. While that funny thing, which I will not speak of here, was being awaited, I wrote this beautiful table. Isn't it just so cute? Go ahead. Look at it. Run 5 laps around your house while eating old papers. Read this list. You can dare to be stupid. Did I mention I was wearing my shirt the wrong way when I wrote this? No I don't think so. How about now? Yes. Why do I even bother you with this text? Reply hazy. Concentrate and ask again. Artist: The Thes Album: What's In The Wiifridgerator? Track number Song name Length Description 1 "Bouldergeist" 3:02 Parody of "Apologize" by Timbaland. 2 "NES" 3:57 Parody of "SOS" by Rihanna. 3 "Dirty Pipes" 3:22 Original song, about what can sometimes be found in pipes. 4 "Macaroni" 4:14 Parody of "Macarena" by Los del Río. 5 "Plumb" 4:20 Parody of "Numb" by U2. 6 "Gadd" 4:06 Parody of "Bad" by Michael Jackson. 7 "It's Only a Paper Shroom" 3:21 Parody of "It's Only a Paper Moon" by Harold Arlen. 8 "Don't Throw Throw Throw That Thing At Me!" 3:40 Original song, about Boomerang Bros. 9 "L33t Dreams" 3:45 Parody of "Sweet Dreams" by Eurythmics. 10 "Axe-man" 2:31 Parody of "Taxman" by The Beatles. 11 "Spice Spice Baby" 4:28 Parody of "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice. 12 "This Is Mushroom Kingdom" 2:15 Original song, about a Koopa who demands that Mario & the guys bow to Bowser's will.

Fake TV By: Glitchman Everybody Hates Waluigi The second season of the infamous Everybody Hates Waluigi show has been confirmed to be in production during late April. If you are among the few who have not heard of the show, it’s about an underrated tennis player named Waluigi who goes into exile after losing his fifth straight tournament and lives with his mother. Because it is a sports-related TV show, a new episode airs every Wednesday on the ESPM channel. This month, Plumber will be appearing in the show as Waluigi’s long-lost stepbrother. Plumber has been filming more than 5 shows already, and he was interviewed about why he accepted this job. “Well, the director guy said he thinks that he can pay me five quabillion dollars a week if I was on the show, so ah accepted it.” Only ten episodes have been aired so far, all of which were a part of the prologue. In the first episode, Waluigi was horribly disfigured in a strange waffle surfing accident, so he was unable to play tennis well. The show then told viewers about his now life-long humiliation, and in the next episode Plumber will attempt to teach Waluigi how to play tennis well. More on this underrated TV show next week, so tune in tomorrow night at 7, only on...ESPM!!

Fake Games By: Purple Yoshi Today, a new game was released. A game bigger, and better than any other game made before! It is..... Super Mario...Cooking? Yes, that's right! Mario puts on an apron (not really) and starts cooking! Game: Super Mario Cooking For: DS Genre: Minigames So, you use the touch screen to do certain things. You can put items in pots, turn on ovens, blend things, and etcetera, while defeating enemies that are trying to ruin your cooking! Why, I dunno. Every time you complete a cooking stage, you get coins and points. This obscure game doesn't even have a storyline! It's just a fun game. *rumble* Oh, no! I hear Cooking Mama fans! I bet they're gonna sue me. Bye!

Poll of the Month By: Master Crash What is the best Clone Brawl Character?: Luigi Ness Falco Wolf Ganondorf Toon Link VOTE NOW!

Interview By: Goldguy Today, a rare goomba was squashed by Mario. Goldguy was here to interview. Goldguy: Why did you do it?! Mario: It's-a my job to destroy Bowser's goons. Goldguy: He wasn't one of Bowser's goons.You could go to jail for this. Mario: But..But-a I.. Goldguy: Take him away! (Security enters room) Guy 1: Come on. Guy 2: Yeah! Mario: But how will-a Nintendo make-a games? Goldguy: Well,everybody wants Waluigi to have a game... Mario: NOOOOOO!!!!! (Security sends Mario to jail.) Goldguy: Thanks for reading the interview.And get ready for the new Waluigi RPG game! Waluigi: Yaaah,Waluigi number one!

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