Bedtime for Drain-Head

The cover art.

Bedtime for Drain-Head is an issue of the Nintendo Comics System featuring Mario.

Plot

The story begins with Mario laying in bed after having spent 72 straight hours reading his favorite comics, Dirk Drain-Head. He moans that he'd do it all over again if he could before falling straight to sleep. But as soon as he dozes off, Luigi rushes in with disturbing news: Toad has been kidnapped by Bowser. Mario tells him to "write a strongly-worded letter to the Mushroom Times... in the morning!" Luigi tells Mario he has ten minutes to get out of bed and stalks out. Eight minutes later, outside Mario's room, Luigi walks up with a plunger, bucket of water and an alarm clock. He and Princess Toadstool walk into Mario's room, Luigi telling her that this could "get ugly." Mario is up, but announces, "You're mistaken, my friend, I am Dirk Drain-Head!!!!"

Luigi tells the Princess about Mario's sleepwalking habit, but neither of them notice the fact that he is going out the window with his sheets as a rope. The Princess and Luigi find Mario's comic books all over the castle, and decide that they'd better just stay home, as Mario will be fine, as long as he doesn't think he's rescuing Dirk's "teenage comedic sidekick" Snakey. Meanwhile, Mario is traipsing about on clouds in the sky, all the while calling Snakey's name a total of eight times, ending with, "It's all my fault!" all the while avoiding the Snifits swarming about him. Luigi and Toadstool seem to have changed their minds, as they are now coming after Mario.

Mario is now inside Bowser's Castle, and smacking away Sparkies while droning lines such as "You must understand, my dire-yet-tragic foes, it is not you I am personally going after." Luigi and Toadstool are walking up to Bowser's home, amidst wreckage of Flurries, green Cobrats, and Bob-ombs. A crowd of enemies tell the two that "Luigi's brother" fights dirty, and they're reporting this to Bowser. Luigi is embarrassed about all the damage Mario has caused, and wonders how much trouble they're in with the Koopa King.

Mario knocks out Birdo, who gives him exact directions to Bowser. Upon arrival, he finds Toad is smart-mouthing Bowser, (who wants to see his father on "Kingdom's Most Wanted") when Mario knocks down the door with Dirk's catchphrase, "It's Plungin' Time!" "Dirk" and Bowser prepare for battle.

Luigi and Toadstool were unable to find Mario, Toad, and King Koopa, but upon return, they find the missing Bowser serving the Mushroom King, Wooster, and Toad grape sodas with paper umbrellas. With Mario being surprisingly strong, Koopa had decided to make a truce to avoid any further harm. The King slaps Mario heartily on the back, enough so that the sleep-walker awakes. Koopa, realizing that he was captured single-handedly by a sleep-walking plumber, storms off, humiliated, as do all the others. Mario, however, decides to read the comic book he hid in the royal throne.

Trivia

• In the original printing, Princess Toadstool says "Mario, my father was once turned into a lizard" while talking to Luigi. This is corrected in later printings.
• The phrase "With awesome power comes better-then-average responsibility" is a parody of Spider-Man's motto, "With great power comes great responsibility".