Editing MarioWiki:Featured articles/N2/Shadow Queen
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===[[{{#titleparts:{{PAGENAME}}||3}}]]=== | ===[[{{#titleparts:{{PAGENAME}}||3}}]]=== | ||
{{ | {{FANOMSTAT | ||
|nominated=17:20, 21 February 2014 | |nominated=17:20, 21 February 2014 | ||
| | |passed=<!--When it is 5-0, put the time (such as 12:10, 11 December 2012) of the fifth support/removal of last oppose by copying it from the history of the page.--> | ||
}} | }} | ||
==== Support ==== | ==== Support ==== | ||
#{{User|Ashley and Red}}I worked hard on it, also the article looks good. There aren't any ''' ''major'' ''' grammar issues | #{{User|Ashley and Red}}I worked hard on it, also the article looks good. There aren't any ''' ''major'' ''' grammar issues | ||
#{{User|Epic Rosalina}} | #{{User|Epic Rosalina}} | ||
==== Oppose ==== | ==== Oppose ==== | ||
#{{User|Time Turner}} Similarly to [[Baby Donkey Kong]], the whole article feels... bare. Also, the History section often puts away focus from the Shadow Queen to give exposition or details, which shouldn't be the case since this is an article about the Shadow Queen. The first part of the Personality section gets a bit too flowery ("ruthless and humorless"?), and this kind of writing pops up a bit too much throughout the article for me to be comfortable with calling this an FA, even regardless of its bareness. Per all of my comments opposing this nomination. | #{{User|Time Turner}} Similarly to [[Baby Donkey Kong]], the whole article feels... bare. Also, the History section often puts away focus from the Shadow Queen to give exposition or details, which shouldn't be the case since this is an article about the Shadow Queen. The first part of the Personality section gets a bit too flowery ("ruthless and humorless"?), and this kind of writing pops up a bit too much throughout the article for me to be comfortable with calling this an FA, even regardless of its bareness. Per all of my comments opposing this nomination. | ||
#{{User|Randombob-omb4761}} Per Time Turner. | #{{User|Randombob-omb4761}} Per Time Turner. | ||
==== Removal of Opposes ==== | ==== Removal of Opposes ==== | ||
'''TimeTurner and Randombob-omb4761''' | '''TimeTurner and Randombob-omb4761''' | ||
#{{User|Ashley and Red}} Issues that you listed are fixed. The flowery writing is gone. | #{{User|Ashley and Red}} Issues that you listed are fixed. The flowery writing is gone. | ||
==== Comments ==== | ==== Comments ==== | ||
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:::::Yeah, I believe I've removed the vast majority, if not all of the flowery writing present in the article. Unless there are any further objections, the current opposes have been rendered invalid unless proven otherwise. {{User|Icemario}} | :::::Yeah, I believe I've removed the vast majority, if not all of the flowery writing present in the article. Unless there are any further objections, the current opposes have been rendered invalid unless proven otherwise. {{User|Icemario}} | ||
::::::I didn't see anymore "flowery" writing. You fixed all. The opposes should be removed TT and Random{{User|Ashley and Red}} | ::::::I didn't see anymore "flowery" writing. You fixed all. The opposes should be removed TT and Random{{User|Ashley and Red}} | ||
:::::::"creating an army of demonic beasts", "most vicious attacks", "in disgust of his beliefs", "When in a dire circumstances", "subduing the entire world"... Just through a quick glance, I can spot several instances of flowery writing, which is against our [[MarioWiki:Good_Writing#Epic.2C_flowery_and_grimdark_writing|standards]] for [[MarioWiki:Good | :::::::"creating an army of demonic beasts", "most vicious attacks", "in disgust of his beliefs", "When in a dire circumstances", "subduing the entire world"... Just through a quick glance, I can spot several instances of flowery writing, which is against our [[MarioWiki:Good_Writing#Epic.2C_flowery_and_grimdark_writing|standards]] for [[MarioWiki:Good Writing|good writing]] It also tries to [[MarioWiki:Good_Writing#Trying_to_fuse_game_mechanics_and_story_elements|fuse]] game mechanics with story elements, which, as I linked to, isn't good. Just go to the page I linked to, cross-reference it with this article, and then you'll see what needs to be fixed. {{User|Time Turner}} | ||
::::::::I've gone through the article once more using the given guidelines, and I don't think there's any flowery writing left on the page to fix now. {{User|Icemario}} | ::::::::I've gone through the article once more using the given guidelines, and I don't think there's any flowery writing left on the page to fix now. {{User|Icemario}} | ||
:::::::::At the time of your messages I was off. Icemario really fixed ''' ''all'' ''' the flowery writing. Thanks again. {{User|Ashley and Red}} | :::::::::At the time of your messages I was off. Icemario really fixed ''' ''all'' ''' the flowery writing. Thanks again. {{User|Ashley and Red}} | ||
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:::We can remove that giant empty space and move that screenshot to the gallery, although it still looks messy. {{User|Mario}} | :::We can remove that giant empty space and move that screenshot to the gallery, although it still looks messy. {{User|Mario}} | ||
::::How about moving the break to the end of Super Mario-Kun section? {{User|Icemario}} | ::::How about moving the break to the end of Super Mario-Kun section? {{User|Icemario}} | ||
