Editing MarioWiki:Featured articles/N1/Bianco Hills

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__NOTOC__
__NOTOC__
===[[{{#titleparts:{{PAGENAME}}||3}}]]===
===[[{{#titleparts:{{PAGENAME}}||3}}]]===
{{FANOMFAIL
{{FANOMSTAT
|nominated=03:00, 15 June 2013 (EDT)
|nominated=03:00, 15 June 2013 (EDT)
|lastedit=07:00, 14 August 2013 (EDT)
|passed=<!--When it is 5-0, put the time (such as 12:10, 11 December 2012) of the fifth support/removal of last oppose by copying it from the history of the page.-->
}}
}}
==== Support ====
==== Support ====
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#{{User|Mr. Game & Watch}}
#{{User|Mr. Game & Watch}}
#{{User|BoygeyMario}}
#{{User|BoygeyMario}}
#{{User|Superluigirules}}
#{{User|A Paragoomba and the Koopa Bros.}}
#{{User|Gonzales Kart Inc.}}
#{{User|Pinkie Pie}}


==== Oppose ====
==== Oppose ====
#{{User|Time Turner}} There's quite a bit of problems with the tense, and it reads more like a walkthrough than an actual article. The parts that describe the camera's movements also seem rather odd.
#{{User|Yoshi876}} Per TT, it also contains a lot of unnecessary information 'the camera zooms away from the level access point, flies over the village to the lakeside in rapid motion' or 'This episode, which parodies the name of the movie Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (also parodying the level's episode number, this being the fifth episode)'


==== Removal of Opposes ====
==== Removal of Opposes ====
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==== Comments ====
==== Comments ====
I have one problem: the future tense is used a lot in this article. It needs to be changed to past tense. {{User|LeftyGreenMario}}
I have one problem: the future tense is used a lot in this article. It needs to be changed to past tense. {{User|LeftyGreenMario}}
:D'oh, I meant present tense. >.< {{User|LeftyGreenMario}}
Time Turner, what would you do if you thought the article is written like a walkthrough? I'm okay with the article being written as that. {{User|LeftyGreenMario}}
Trivia is a little long, and all that talking about camera is bizarre! {{User|Megadardery}}
@Lefty I swear I've read somewhere that we try not to have articles written in a walkthrough style, as we're a wiki not a help guide. {{User|Yoshi876}}
:Huh, but how would you rewrite the article? A walkthrough would include strategy, and I don't see strategy in the article. I see "Mario does this, then this happens, and Mario does that" rather than "Mario should use his super attack while staying in a small corner to avoid all attacks. The Cutter ability is not recommended." {{User|LeftyGreenMario}}
::Actually I looked through the page about avoiding walkthroughs [[MarioWiki:Good writing]] and from reading each word it seems it more pertains to the actual game page i.e. [[Super Mario Sunshine]] should be avoiding to sound like a walkthrough, so I'm not entirely sure that it applies to this. {{User|Yoshi876}}

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