Editing List of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes by character (S–Z)

{{italic title|List of ''Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door'' quotes by character (S–Z)}}
{{main|List of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes}}

This is a list of quotes from ''[[Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door]]'' and its [[Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (Nintendo Switch)|Nintendo Switch remake]] by character (S–Z).

==[[Screamy]]==
*"''...I'm Screamy. I wonder what future is plotted for us by he who holds the compass...''"
*"''For I must deliver something...''"

==[[Shadow Queen]]==
*<i>"Who...has called me back?"
*"[[Grodus|You]]...''"
*"Very well... Where is the [[Princess Peach|vessel]]?"
*"Yessss... A fine vessel..."
*"Now..."
*"Muh huh huh huh... Witness my rebirth..."
*"My soul has not yet fully accustomed to this vessel..."
*"But I will learn to control this body soon enough..."
*"Who are you that would command me?" 
*"What sort of being are you?"
*"You would do well to learn your proper place, slave. No one commands me."
*"My powers are not yet fully restored..."
*"But...they will come in time..."
*"Ahh, [[Beldam]]... What ages have passed?"
*"So... You are the one truly responsible for calling me back, yessss?"
*"Yesss... You have fulfilled your duties admirably."
*"And who are these...[[Partners|beings]] that stand before me?"
*"Yesss... They do not appear to possess power... ...But they may be of use. If you will become my faithful servants, I will not harm you." </i>(GCN)<i>
*"Yesss... They appear to possess some modicum of power and may be of some use... Mortals...if you will become my faithful servants, I will not harm you." </i>(Switch)<i>
*"Yesss... You are obedient... Good, my pet..." </i>(Become her servant)<i>
*"Now you are mine..."
*"You will serve me for eternity."
*"I see... So you defy me..." </i>(Refuse this witch!)<i>
*"How...amusing..."
*"Then, you wretched fools...you will learn the error of your ways!"
*"You are foolish to oppose me."
*"Yesss...and that foolishness...will have to be punished..."
*"Hmm... So, you are not weak. Maybe you are less useless than you appear."
*"This body is unfamiliar to me..."
*"Yesss, too unfamiliar... Let me assume my true form and show you real power..."
*"In this form, your attacks are like those of a child to me..."
*"You are lucky... You will perish with the honor of having seen true terror and power!"
*"Muh huh huh huh huh huh!''"
*"Muh huh huh huh... Why do you delay? FACE ME!" </i>(Player does not attack for a turn; Switch version only)<i>
*"Muh huh huh huh huh huh! Is that your idea of an attack? Foolish..."
*"Struggle as you might, it won't be enough!" </i>(Switch version only)<i>
*"Muh huh huh huh huh... Now, taste my power!"
*"Hmmm... What a troublesome little pest you are. Muh huh huh huh huh..."
*"Yesss... I have recovered from any slight damage you many have caused earlier... And now...I will punish you for your resistance..." </i>(GCN)<i>
**"Yesss... I have recovered from any slight damage I've taken... And now...how I will punish you for your resistance...''" </i>(Switch)<i>
*"I will ask you again... Will you serve me? If so, I will forgive you for this..."
*"Muh huh huh huh huh... Very well..."
*"Then you will perish."
*"What... What is this?"
*"Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What... What are these vile voices?''"
*"What is this...light?''"
*"Oh..."
*"Ohh..."
*"Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhh......"
*"Wh-What?!?"
*"[[Princess Peach|You wretched little girl]]! You disobey me?!?"
*"You brat! Obey me, girl!"
*"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Very cunning, Princess!"
*"But you will not undo me!!! Know me as your queen!"
*"Enough! This ends now!''"
*"Wh-What..."
*"H-How is it that you can hurt me?"
*"Fooooooooools!"
*"Muh huh huh... You do not know what you have done...''"
*"Uuurghh..."
*"No... It... It cannot be... How..."
*"AAAAAIIYEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
*"Impossible... Unthinkable..."
*"How could I... I cannot be beaten by lesser beings such as these..."
*"And I had just been reborn into this world... I cannot... I must not..."
*"AAAAAIIYEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"</i>
===Japanese===
*ダレじゃ⋯ わらわを よびおこすものは⋯ (''What... What brings me here...'')
*そちか⋯ (''...and...'')
*まあ よい⋯ わらわの たましいの {{ruby|入|い}}れ{{ruby|物|もの}}は いずこしゃ？ (''Well, okay... Where is the vessel for my soul?'')
*ふむ⋯ なかなかのものじゃな⋯ (''Well... It is considerable...'')
*よかろう⋯ (''Very well...'')
*ふふふふ⋯ これで わらわは ふっかつしたわけだ (''Fufufufu... Now, my life is restored.'')
*まだ たましいと {{ruby|体|からが}}が かんぜんに {{ruby|一体|いつたい}}とは なっておらめが⋯ (''Though my soul and body are not yet united as one...'')
*しばらくすれば わが たましいも あたらしい{{ruby|体|からが}}に なじむであろう⋯ (''After a while, I will be able to adapt my soul to my new body...'')
*この わらわに めいれいを {{ruby|下|くだ}}そうとは⋯ (''Who are you to claim a position of authority over me...?'')
*そちは いったい なにものしゃ⋯? (''What in the world are you...?'')
*みのほども わきまえず わらわに さしずしようとは なんたる ぶれい (''You have no sense of propriety. And you have no sense of what is required of you. What a disgrace!'')
*まだ チカラも かんぜんには もどってあらめか⋯ (''My strength has not yet returned to me. I can't seem to get it back...'')
*ふむ⋯ それも しかたあるまい⋯ (''Hmm... That's the way it is...'')
*ん マジョリン⋯ ひさしいのう (''Ah, Beldam... It's been a long time.'')
*そうか⋯ そちが わらわを よみがえらせてくれたのじゃな (''Well, I see... So it was you. You brought me back to life.'')
*うむ⋯ ごくろうじゃったな (''Hm... Thank you for your hard work.'')
*ところで そちたちは なにものだ？ (''And who are you, by the way?'')
*ふむ⋯ {{ruby|見|み}}れは なかなかの {{ruby|面|つら}}がまえ (''Hmm... You're not so bad looking.'')
*どうだ わらわに つかえめか？ わらわの しもべに なれば わるいようには せめぞ (''Well, how about it? You want to be my servant? If you become my servant... I won't do anything bad to you.)
*なかなか ききわけの いいヤツじゃの⋯ よかろう⋯ (''You are a very good man, a man who knows his place... Good...'')
*これで そちは わらわのものだ (''Now you belong to me.'')
*{{ruby|一生|いっしょう}} わらわに つかえるがよい (''You will serve as a slave to me for the rest of your life.'')
*なるほど⋯ そちも わらわに さからうと いうか⋯ (''I see... So you are disobeying me, as well...)
*おもしろい⋯ (''Interesting...'')
*ならば そもむくい しかと うけるが よいわ (''In that case, you will receive your punishment.'')
*わらわに いどむとは なんと おろかな⋯ (''How foolish you are to threaten me...'')
*その おろかさ⋯ {{ruby|自|みずか}}らの しを もって つぐなうが いい⋯ (''Your foolishness... You will pay for it with your own life...'')
*ふむう⋯ そちも なかなか やるではないか サスガに わらわが {{ruby|見|み}}こんだオトコだ (''Hmm... You're not so bad yourself, are you? As is expected of someone whom I have watched so carefully.'')
*おもうように {{ruby|動|うご}}がなかった {{ruby|体|からが}}も じょじょに なじんできた⋯ (''My body wasn't moving like I wanted it to. I'm getting used to it...'')
*そろそろ わらわの {{ruby|本当|ほんとう}}の チカラを {{ruby|見|み}}せてくらよいそ⋯ (''It's about time. I'll show you my true power...'')
*この すがたで あれば そちの こうげきなぞは {{ruby|虫|むし}}に さされたほどにも きかぬ (''In this form, your attacks would be as minuscule as an insect's whisper.'')
*この すがたを わらわに とらせたことを こうえいに おもいながら しんでいくが よいぞ (''You shall rest in peace, knowing that you have earned the honor of being shown this form by me.'')
*ホーホッホッホッホッホッホッホッホ！(''Hoohohohohohohohoho!'')
*ホホホホ⋯ それでも こうげきしているつもりかえ？(''Hohohoho... You think you're still hitting me?'')
*ホホホホ⋯ わらわの チカラを おもいしるがよい！(''Hohohoho... You will feel my power!'')
*なんとも ふがいないヤツよの オ〜ホホホホッ⋯ (''What a poor fellow. Oh-ho-ho-ho...'')
*これで そちから うけた キズも ほうんど もとに もどった⋯ (''Now the injury from the other side is back to normal...'')
*さて⋯ あとは いかに そちを こらしめてやるかじゃな⋯ (''Well... Now we'll see how badly I can beat you...'')
*いまいちど そちたちに {{ruby|問|と}}う わらわに つかえる{{ruby|気|き}}は ないか？いまなら ゆるして つかわそうぞ⋯ (''I ask you once again. Are you going to serve me? I'll forgive you this time, and I'll spare you...'')
*ホホホホ⋯ よかろう⋯ (''Hohohoho... Very well...'')
*ならば そちたちの のぞみ{{ruby|通|どお}}り トドメを さして つかわそう (''Then I'll finish you off.'')
*な⋯ なんじゃ！？ (''What... what!?'')
*な な な なんじゃ⋯ この わずらわしい こえは⋯ (''W-w-w-what the heck... What's that annoying sound...'')
*こ この{{ruby|光|ひかり}}は⋯？(''Th-this light...?'')
*あ⋯ (''A...'')
*ああ⋯ (''Aa...'')
*ああああああああああああああ⋯⋯ (''Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa...'')
*な⋯ なんじゃ！(''What... what!'')
*こ {{ruby|小娘|こむすめ}}えつ！わらわに さけらう つもりか！！(''Y-You little brat! You think you can get away with this!!'')
*おのれ！{{ruby|小娘|こむすめ}}えーーーつ！！(''You! You little brat!!'')
*ええい！どこまでも こざかいい {{ruby|小娘|こむすめ}}め！！(''Hey! You're the most annoying little girl I've ever met!!'')
*じゃが なにを しようと ムダじゃ わらわは {{ruby|女王|じょおう}}なのじゃから！！ (''But no matter what you do, it's no use, for I am the queen!!'')
*ふんっ！けちらしてくれるわ！！(''Darn it! I'm going to kick your butt!!'')
*な⋯ なんじゃと⋯ (''Wh... What...'')
*わ⋯ わらわの この{{ruby|体|からが}}に キズが つくとは⋯ (''How... how this body of mine is damaged...'')
*おのれ〜〜〜っ！(''Curse yooooou!'')
*ふん まだまだ これからじゃぞ (''Hmph. This is just the beginning.'')
*くあ⋯ (''Kua...'')
*ま⋯ ませか⋯ こんな はずは⋯ (''N...no... This can't be...'')
*うああああああああ⋯⋯⋯ (''UAAAAAHHH...'')
*そんな⋯ そんな⋯ (''Oh, no... No, no...'')
*わらわが⋯ わらわが このような やからに たおされてしまうとは⋯ (''I never thought that I... that I would be defeated by such a brute...'')
*ふたたび この{{ruby|世|よ}}に よみがえつたと いうのに⋯ (''Even though I have been brought back to this world again...'')
*あああああああああああああああああ⋯ (''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH...'')

==[[Shellshock]]==
*"''Hey. You. Gonzales. Since you didn't want that cake, I ate it. Best cake I ever had, man. Sprinkles, frosting, the works. You're an idiot.''"
*"''Bluuurgh... Body...went...numb... Stupid...cake... Hate...cake... Never...eat...cake...again...''"
*"''Legs...like...grape...jelly... Shell...shaking... Hate...you... cake... Hate...you...''"
*"''You're pretty strong, but your partners are strong, too, baby! Maybe I should get new partners, huh?''"
*"''Welcome back, Gonzales! I'm psyched to fight in the same league with you again!''"
*"''So-called Great Gonzales! Don't think I'm gonna take it easy on you, baby!''"
*"''Still got it, baby!''"

==[[List of shops in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door|Shopkeeps]]==
===[[Toad Bros. Bazaar]]===
====General====
*"''Hey, there, fella! Welcome to the Toad Bros. Bazaar!''"
*"''What can I do for you?''"
*"''If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press {{button|GCN|A}}, OK?''" (Buying)
*"''Come again, OK?''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''I'm gonna need [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Want to buy it, fella?''"
*"''Oooh... Gee, sorry, fella, but you don't have enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Listen, fella, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Yeah, sorry about that.''" (Full inventory)
*"''I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your stuff, OK?''"
*"''Hey, thanks very much, fella!''" (Item bought)
*"''Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!''"

====Selling====
*"''Huh? Listen, fella, you need to actually HAVE something for me to want to buy it.''" (No items)
*"''What do you want to sell?''"
*"''I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. How about it?''"
*"''I see... Is there anything else you want to sell, fella?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Thanks, fella!''" (Item sold, 1 item)
*"''Hey, thanks very much, fella!''" (Item sold, more items)
*"''Is there anything else you want to sell?''"

====Storing====
*"''Huh? Maybe I misheard you, but I'm pretty sure you don't have anything to store.''" (No items)
*"''Ooh, I'm sorry, fella, but I can't store anything else.''" (Full storage)
*"''I can store [#] more item(s) for you, fella. Want to store something?''"
*"''OK, no problem. I'll store it for you at no charge, fella.''" (Item stored)
*"''Then I'll store it for you, sound good?''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Is there anything else you want to store, fella?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Huh? I don't have any of your items in storage, fella.''" (No items in storage)
*"''It looks like you can't carry anything else, fella.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Come back after you use, sell, or store something, OK?''"
*"''What would you like to retrieve, fella?''"
*"''OK. Here you go!''" (Item claimed)
*"''Use it wisely, fella.''"
*"''You want to retrieve anything else, fella?''" (Item claimed, more items)

====Point Explanation====
*"''Hey there, fella! Welcome! Is this your first time in our shop? I think it is!''"
*"''I always like to explain our shop-point system to new customers, so bear with me.''"
*"''Customers receive one shop point for each purchase they make. You with me so far?''"
*"''Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items.''"
*"''You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to check it out.''"
*"''It's a pretty simple promotion, wouldn't you say, fella? Need me to explain it again?''"
*"''OK, in that case...''" (Yes)
*"''Well, take your time, and enjoy your shopping, fella!''" (No)

====Points====
*"''You currently have...[#] point(s), fella!''"
*"''You've saved up enough shop points, fella!''" (Enough points)
*"''Guess what you've earned! This [Item]!''"
*"''Ooh, it looks like you can't carry anything else, fella.''"
*"''Come back after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?'''
*"''Well, you've earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''Anything else I can do for you, fella?''"
*"''You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Congrats!''" (300 shop points)
*"''So, I guess from here...''"
*"''Wow! You won't believe this! This is incredible, fella!''"
*"''You get to start collecting points ALL OVER AGAIN!''"
*"''Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present, fella! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Westside Goods]] ([[Peeka]])===
====General====
*"''Hi there, cutie! Welcome to Westside Goods!''"
*"''What can I do for you?''"
*"''If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press {{button|GCN|A}}, OK, sweetie pie?''" (Buying)
*"''Come on back, sweetie!''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''It's going to be [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Care to buy it, cutie?''"
*"''Oooh... Aw, sorry, sugar, but you don't have enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Hey, sweetie, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Bummer!''" (Full inventory)
*"''I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your things, OK?''"
*"''Aw, THANKS, sugar!''" (Item bought)
*"''Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!''"

====Selling====
*"''Hm? Ummmm, cutie, I can only buy stuff from you if you actually have stuff.''" (No items)
*"''What do you want to sell?''"
*"''I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. Sound good?''"
*"''Oh, OK... Anything else you want to sell, sweetie pie?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Aw, THANKS, sugar!''" (Item sold, 1 item)
*"''Aw, thanks SO much, cutie!''" (Item sold, more items)
*"''Anything else you want to sell, maybe?''"

====Storing====
*"''Hm? But, honey, you don't have a THING to store!''" (No items)
*"''Aw, sorry, honey, but I can't store anything else!''" (Full storage)
*"''I can store [#] more item(s) for you, hon. Want to store something?''"
*"''My pleasure, sweetie. I'll store it for you.''" (Item stored)
*"''Then I'll store it for you, OK?''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Anything else you want to store, cutie-pie?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Hm? I don't have any of your items in my storage, you silly billy!''" (No items in storage)
*"''Aw, you can't carry anything else, cuteness!''" (Full inventory)
*"''Come back after you use, sell, or store something, OK?''"
*"''What would you like to retrieve, sugar?''"
*"''OK! Here you are!''" (Item claimed)
*"''Good luck with it, cutie!''"
*"''You want to retrieve anything else, cute stuff?''" (Item claimed, more items)

====Point Explanation====
*"''Hey there, cutie-pie! Is this your first time in my shop? Uh-huh, I knew it!''"
*"''I always like to explain our shop-point system to new customers, so listen, OK?''"
*"''Customers get one shop point for each purchase they make, right?''"
*"''Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items.''"
*"''You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to check it out, OK?''"
*"''It's a pretty simple promotion, don't you think, cutie? Need me to explain it again?''"
*"''OK, in that case...''" (Yes)
*"''Well, take your time, and enjoy your shopping, cutie!''" (No)

====Points====
*"''Right now, you have...[#] point(s), sweetie pie!''"
*"''You've saved up enough shop points, sugar!''" (Enough points)
*"''Know what you've earned? This [Item]!''"
*"''Aw, it looks like you can't carry anything else, you poor baby.''"
*"''Come back after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?'''
*"''You've saved up enough shop points, sweetness!''"
*"''Aw, you've earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''Anything else I can do for you, sugar bean?''"
*"''You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Wow!''" (300 shop points)
*"''So, I guess from here...''"
*"''Wow! You won't believe this! This is awesome, cutie-pie!''"
*"''You get to start collecting points ALL OVER AGAIN!''"
*"''Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present, sugar! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Niff T.'s shop]]===
====General====
*"''Come in, come in! Welcome! Welcome to Niff T.'s shop!''"
*"''What can I do for you today?''"
*"''If you're here to shop, just stand in front of an item and press {{button|GCN|A}}.''" (Buying)
*"''Come again, OK?''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''It's [#] coin(s) for [an Item]. Would you like one?''"
*"''Oops! Oh, gee, I'm sorry. You don't have enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Oh, gee, it looks like you can't carry any more items.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Try again after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?''"
*"''Thank you so much!''" (Item bought)
*"''You earned [#] shop point(s)!''"

====Selling====
*"''Oops! Don't you feel silly? You don't have any items!''" (No items)
*"''What would you like to sell?''"
*"''I'll pay...[#] coin(s) for your [Item]. Do we have a deal?''"
*"''Oh. OK. Well, is there anything else you'd like to sell?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Thank you so very much!''" (Item sold, 1 item)
*"''Thank you so very much!''" (Item sold, more items)
*"''Is there another item you'd like to sell?''"

====Storing====
*"''Oops! Don't you feel silly? You don't have any items!''" (No items)
*"''I guess I can't store any for you.''"
*"''I'm terribly sorry, but you can't store any more items.''" (Full storage)
*"''You can store [#] more item(s), if you like. What do you say?''"
*"''Then allow me to store that for you!''" (Item stored)
*"''Then allow me to store that for you!''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Shall I store anything else?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Oops! Don't you feel silly? We don't seem to have any of your items in storage.''" (No items in storage)
*"''Oops! It looks to me like you can't carry any more items.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Try again after you sell, use, or store an item, OK?''"
*"''What would you like to withdraw?''"
*"''Then I'll just give this back to you.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Use it well!''"
*"''Is there anything else you'd like to withdraw?''" (Item claimed, more items)

====Point Explanation====
*"''Oh, hello! Is this your first time visiting one of our wonderful shops?''"
*"''Then let me give you the explanation of shop points I give all first-time customers.''"
*"''Customers earn one shop point for each item they buy.''"
*"''As you build up your points, you'll earn various prizes, including rare items.''"
*"''The prizes are explained inside each individual store.''"
*"''And that's it!''"
*"''Need to hear it again?''"
*"''Oh, OK. No problem. Now, then...''" (Yes)
*"''Excellent! You're now free to shop, sell, or store items as you please.''" (No)

====Points====
*"''Right now, you have exactly...[#] point(s)!''"
*"''Wow! Congratulations!''" (Enough points)
*"''You've saved up enough shop points to earn yourself a free [Item]!''"
*"''Oops! It looks like you can't carry any more items.''"
*"''You can pick your prize up after you use, sell, or store an item. How's that sound?''
*"''You've earned enough shop points, Mario, but it looks like your pockets are full.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''Is there anything else I can do for you right now?''"
*"''Wow, wow, and WOW! You've earned the maximum number of shop points: 300!''" (300 shop points)
*"''I guess what this means is...''"
*"''Oh, my! Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness gracious!''"
*"''This means you get to start collecting shop points all over again, starting at zero!''"
*"''And as if that's not enough of a reward...this is your 300-point prize!''"
*"''A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Pungent's Great Tree Shop]]===
====General====
*"''Howdy-do-dah-day, bud! Welcome to Pungent's shop!''"
*"''What can I do you for?''"
*"''Well, sure! If you wanna shop, just stand in front of an item and press {{button|GCN|A}}.''" (Buying)
*"''Come on back anytime, bud!''" (Leaving)

====Double Points====
*"''Howdy-do-dah-day, bud! Welcome to Pungent's shop! It's time to buy, buy, buy!''"
*"''For a limited time only, you can earn DOUBLE shop points! You heard me right!''"
*"''So, what can I do for you?''"

====Buying====
*"''It'll be [#] coin(s) for [Item]. Interested?''"
*"''Ooh... Eee... Golly, how to put this... Look, sorry, but you ain't got enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Ooh... Yikes... Look, I'm real sorry, but you already got too many items.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Feel free to buy whatever you want after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?''"
*"''Well, yippee-do-dah-day! Thanks a million, bud!''" (Item bought)
*"''You now got yourself a total of [#] shop points.''"

====Selling====
*"''Ooh... Gee... This is awkward. Hate to have to tell you this, but you ain't got no items...''" (No items)
*"''Sure thing. What exactly do you wanna sell, bud?''"
*"''How's this? I'll pay [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. We got a deal?''"
*"''Oh, all righty, then. You got anythin' else you're thinkin' of sellin'?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Well, thanks a ton, bud!''" (Item sold, 1 item)
*"''Hey, thanks a million, bud!''" (Item sold, more items)
*"''You got anythin' else you're thinkin' of sellin'?''"

====Storing====
*"''Ooh... Look... Not to drizzle on your parade, but you ain't got no items, bud.''" (No items)
*"''I can't store imaginary stuff. Oh, actually, sure I can! ...There! I stored it all!''"
*"''Ooh... Look, I'm sorry, but you can't store any more items. Awful sorry, bud.''" (Full storage)
*"''Lessee... You can store up to [#] more item(s), bud. Wanna store anythin'?''"
*"''Consider it stored, bud!''" (Item stored)
*"''Consider it stored, bud!''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Wanna store anythin' else?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Ooh... Golly... Listen... Hate to break it to you, but you got nothing stored, bud.''" (No items in storage)
*"''Ooh... Shucks... Looks to me like you can't carry any more items, bud.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Tell you what, though: you can get something after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''So, what is it you wanna withdraw, bud?''"
*"''All righty, here you go.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Use it wisely, bud.''"
*"''I'll just go on and give this back to you, then.''" (Item claimed, more items)
*"''Wanna withdraw anythin' else, bud?''"

====Point Explanation====
*"''How do, bud? I'm bettin' this is your first time visitin' a shop, am I right or am I right?''"
*"''Riiiight. Then lemme give you my official Shop Point Breakdown for First-Timers.''"
*"''You earn one shop point for each item you buy. Easy so far, am I right?''"
*"''Now, as you build up points, you get rewarded with cool prizes, includin' rare items.''"
*"''Different stores have different prizes, so keep your eyes peeled, OK?''"
*"''And that, bud, is all I got to say about that.''"
*"''Wanna hear all that again?''"
*"''All righty, but clean out them ears this time, OK? A-HEM! Here we go...''" (Yes)
*"''Well, all righty, then. Go on and shop, sell, or store stuff, bud!''" (No)

====Points====
*"''Looks like you got yourself... [#] shop point(s)!''"
*"''Hey, you earned enough shop points! Kudos, bud!''" (Enough points)
*"''Here's your prize: a fine [Item]!''"
*"''Ooh... Shoot... Looks like you can't carry any more items, bud. You're full up!''"
*"''Why don't you come on back and grab that after you use, sell, or store an item.''
*"''Well done savin' up those shop points!''"
*"''Ooh... You earned a prize with your shop points, bud, but your pockets are burstin'.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''I'll just hang on to it, then. Anythin' else I can do for you in the meanwhile?''"
*"''Yowzers! You earned the maximum number of shop points: 300 of 'em!''" (300 shop points)
*"''Lemme just remember what that means...''"
*"''Oh, yeah! Great jumpin' jackrabbits! It means...''"
*"''You get to start collectin' shop points all over again, startin' at zero! Yippee!''"
*"''Ain't that grand! And that ain't all! Here's your fine 300-point prize, bud!''"
*"''A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Souvenir shop (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|Souvenir shop]]===
====General====
*"''Hey, hey, hey there! Welcome to my souvenir shop! We sell all kinds of stuff!''"
*"''So, what can I do for you?''"
*"''If you want to buy something, just press {{button|GCN|A}} in front of the item you want.''" (Buying)
*"''Thanks plenty!''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''That'll be [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Are you looking to buy?''"
*"''Oooh... You need more coins!''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Your inventory is full!''" (Full inventory)
*"''Why don't you sell, store, or use something?''"
*"''Thanks plenty!''" (Item bought)
*"''You now have...let's see... [#] shop points!''"

====Selling====
*"''Hey, hey, hey, hey now! You don't have anything to sell, now, do you?''" (No items)
*"''Which do you want to sell?''"
*"''I'll buy that [Item] for [#] coin(s). We got a deal?''"
*"''Oh, is that a fact? OK. You maybe want to sell something else?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Thanks plenty!''" (Item sold)
*"''You maybe want to sell something else?''"

====Storing====
*"''Hey, hey, hey, hey now! You don't have anything to store, now, do you?''" (No items)
*"''Oh, I'm awful sorry, but... I can't store any more.''" (Full storage)
*"''I can store up to [#] more item(s). What should I store?''"
*"''Then I'll just grab that...''" (Item stored)
*"''Then I'll just grab that...''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Anything else you'd like me to stash for you right now?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Hey, hey, hey, hey now! I don't have anything stored for you!''" (No items in storage)
*"''Your inventory is full!''" (Full inventory)
*"''Why don't you sell, store, or use something?''"
*"''What would you like to withdraw?''"
*"''Then I'll just hand that over.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Then I'll just hand that over.''" (Item claimed, more items)
*"''Anything else you're looking to withdraw?''"

====Point Explanation====
*"''Hey, hey, hey there! Wait... Is this your first time in a store?''"
*"''Yeah, you had that first-time customer look... Lemme tell you about shop points.''"
*"''You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something.''"
*"''Collect enough points and I'll give you a bonus gift, OK? Some are reeeeally rare!''"
*"''I put all the bonus-gift details up on the wall over there, so take a look.''"
*"''Well, that's my spiel on shop points. Do you want to hear all that again?''"
*"''Well, OK... The customer's always right, I guess... But pay attention this time.''" (Yes)
*"''Browse all you want!''" (No)

====Points====
*"''Let's see here... You currently have [#] shop point(s)!''"
*"''Hey, look at all those shop points you got!''" (Enough points)
*"''How about I set you up with this [Item]!''"
*"''Your inventory is full!''"
*"''Why don't you sell, store, or use something?''
*"''You got enough shop points to qualify for a nice gift, but you have too many items.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''Sorry about that. Anyway, is there anything else I can do for you?''"
*"''Wowsers! You've amassed the maximum number of shop points: 300! Nice!''" (300 shop points)
*"''Where could you possibly go from here?''"
*"''I'll tell you: you get to start over from nothing again! Isn't that great?''"
*"''And you get this amazing 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Twilight Shop]]===
====General====
*"''Greetings! Welcome to the Twilight Shop!''"
*"''Whatcha need?''"
*"''If you want to buy something, just press {{button|GCN|A}} in front of the item you want, got it?''" (Buying)
*"''Thanks for that!''" (Leaving)

====Double Points====
*"''Greetings, folks! Welcome to the Twilight Shop! Buy something!''"
*"''We're having a double-point special, so buy up! What can I get you?''"

====Buying====
*"''That'll be [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. You looking to buy?''"
*"''Yikes! You need more coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Your inventory is full.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Why don't you sell, store, or drop something?''"
*"''Thanks for that!''" (Item bought)
*"''You now have...let's see... [#] shop point(s).''"

====Selling====
*"''Huh? You don't have anything to sell, now, do you?''" (No items)
*"''Which do you want to sell?''"
*"''Hmmmm, that [Item]... I'll buy it for [#] coins(s)! We got a deal?''"
*"''Oh, is that a fact? OK. You want to sell something else, maybe?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Thanks for that!''" (Item sold)
*"''You want to sell something else, maybe?''"

====Storing====
*"''Huh? You don't have anything to store, now, do you?''" (No items)
*"''Oh, I'm awfully sorry, but... I can't store any more.''" (Full storage)
*"''I can store up to [#] item(s). What should I store?''"
*"''Then I'll just grab that...''" (Item stored)
*"''Then I'll just grab that...''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Anything else you'd like me to stash for you right now?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Hey! I don't have anything stored for you!''" (No items in storage)
*"''Your inventory is full!''" (Full inventory)
*"''Why don't you sell, store, or drop something?''"
*"''What would you like to withdraw?''"
*"''Then I'll just hand that over.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Anything else you're looking to withdraw?''" (Item claimed, more items)

====Point Explanation====
*"''Greetings, and welcome! Wait... Is this your first time in a shop? EVER?''"
*"''Yeah, you had that first-time customer look... Let me tell you about shop points.''"
*"''You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something.''"
*"''Collect enough points and I'll give you a bonus gift, OK? Some are really rare!''"
*"''I put all the bonus-gift details up on the wall over there, so take a look.''"
*"''Well, that's my spiel on shop points. Do you want to hear all that again?''"
*"''Well, OK... The customer's always right, I guess... But pay attention this time.''" (Yes)
*"''Browse all you want!''" (No)
====Points====
*"''Let's see here... You currently have[#] shop point(s)!''"
*"''Hey, look at all those shop points you got!''" (Enough points)
*"''How about I set you up with this [Item]!''"
*"''Your inventory is full!''"
*"''Why don't you sell, store, or drop something?''"
*"''You have enough shop points to qualify for a nice gift, but you have too many items.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''Sorry about that. Anyway, is there anything else I can do for you?''"
*"''Wow! You've amassed the maximum number of shop points: 300! Nice!''" (300 shop points)
*"''Where could you possibly go from here?''"
*"''I'll tell you: you get to start over from nothing again! Isn't that great?''"
*"''And you get this amazing 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Keelhaul Galleria]]===
====General====
*"''Ahoy there, and welcome! Honored to have you enter the Keelhaul Galleria!''"
*"''What can I do for you?''"
*"''If you want to buy something, just stand in front of the item and press {{button|GCN|A}}.''" (Buying)
*"''Come back anytime, Captain!''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''That's gonna be [#] coin(s) for this [Item]. Would you like to buy it?''"
*"''Yes? Oh, I'm sorry, but you don't have enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''You're carrying too many items, looks like.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Please sell, use, or store something, would you?''"
*"''Thank you!''" (Item bought)
*"''[[Mario|Captain 'Stache]], you now have [#] shop point(s).''"

====Selling====
*"''Huh? You're not holding anything, looks like.''" (No items)
*"''What would you like to sell?''"
*"''I'll buy that [Item] for [#] coins(s). Would you like to sell it?''"
*"''Well, all righty, then... Would you like to sell something else, perhaps?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Thank you!''" (Item sold)
*"''Would you like to sell something else, perhaps?''"

====Storing====
*"''Oh... Sorry, but you don't have any items, looks like.''" (No items)
*"''You have to have items for me to store them, Captain.''"
*"''Oh... Look, I'm sorry, but you can't store any more items. Awful sorry, Captain.''" (Full storage)
*"''Let's see... You can store up to [#] more item(s). What to store anything?''"
*"''Consider it stored, Captain!''" (Item stored)
*"''Want to store anything else?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Oh... I hate to break it to you, but you don't have anything stored, Captain.''" (No items in storage)
*"''Oh... Looks like you can't carry any more items.''" (Full inventory)
*"''It's OK, Captain: you can get something after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''So, what is it you want to withdraw, Captain?''"
*"''All righty, here you go.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Use it wisely, Captain.''"
*"''I'll just give this back to you, then, OK?''" (Item claimed, more items)
*"''Want to withdraw anything else, Captain?''"

====Point Explanation====
*"''Ahoy, Captain 'Stache! Is this your first time visiting a shop?''"
*"''Let me explain the shop-point system for you, OK?''"
*"''You earn one shop point for each item you buy.''"
*"''Now, as you build up points, you get rewarded with great prizes, including rare items.''"
*"''Different stores have different prizes, so stay on the lookout, OK?''"
*"''And that's it!''"
*"''Would you like to hear all that again?''"
*"''All right, but listen more closely this time, OK? OK! Here we go...''" (Yes)
*"''Well, all righty, then. Go ahead and shop, sell, or store stuff!''" (No)

====Points====
*"''Looks like you've got... [#] shop point(s)!''"
*"''Hey, you earned enough shop points! Kudos, Captain!''" (Enough points)
*"''Here's your prize: a fine [Item]!''"
*"''Oh... Rats... Looks like you can't carry any more items, Captain. You're overloaded!''"
*"''Why don't you come back and snag that after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''Way to go, saving up those shop points!''"
*"''Oh... You earned a prize with your shop points, Captain, but your pockets are bursting.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''I'll just hang on to it, then. Anything else I can do for you in the meanwhile?''"
*"''You've collected the maximum number of shop points: 300! Unbelievable!''" (300 shop points)
*"''When THAT happens...''"
*"''You just start collecting again from the beginning! Wheeeeeeeee!''"
*"''And here's your incredible 300-point prize for the ages! It's a Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Sales Stall]]===
====General====
*"''How goes it, traveler? Welcome to the Sales Stall! We have lots of souvenirs!''"
*"''What can I do for you?''"
*"''If you wanna buy something, just press {{button|GCN|A}} in front of the item you want.''" (Buying)
*"''Come back anytime!''" (Leaving)

====Double Points====
*"''How goes it, traveler? Welcome to the Sales Stall! We have lots of souvenirs!''"
*"''And right now we have a double-point special going on! What can I do for you?''"

====Buying====
*"''That's gonna be [#] coin(s) for this [Item]. Want it?''"
*"''Well, you may want it...but you don't have enough coins, unfortunately.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''You're carrying too many items, unfortunately.''" (Full inventory)
*"''You gotta sell, use, or store something.''"
*"''Thanks a million!''" (Item bought)
*"''Hey, so you now have exactly [#] shop points.''"

====Selling====
*"''Huh? I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but you're not holding anything.''" (No items)
*"''What do you wanna sell?''"
*"''I'll buy that [Item] for [#] Coins(s). You wanna sell it?''"
*"''OK, then... Maybe you wanna sell something else?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Thanks a million!''" (Item sold)
*"''You wanna sell something else, maybe?''"

====Storing====
*"''Huh? I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but you don't have anything.''" (No items)
*"''Ooh... Look, I'm sorry, but you can't store any more items. Awful sorry about that.''" (Full storage)
*"''Let me see... You can store up to [#] more item(s). Wanna store anything?''"
*"''Bing! Stored!''" (Item stored)
*"''Wanna store anything else?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Huh? I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but you don't have anything stored.''" (No items in storage)
*"''You have too many items, unfortunately.''" (Full inventory)
*"''You can get something after you use, sell, or store an item, all right?''"
*"''So, what do you wanna withdraw?''"
*"''No problem, here you go.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Hope it helps!''"
*"''OK, no problem at all... I'll give this back to you.''" (Item claimed, more items)
*"''Wanna withdraw anything else?''"

====Point Explanation====
*"''How goes it, traveler? Hang on... Is this your first time in a shop?''"
*"''Yup, I thought so... Lemme tell you about shop points really quick.''"
*"''You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something.''"
*"''Collect enough points and I'll give you a bonus gift! Some are really rare, too!''"
*"''I put all the bonus-gift details up on the wall over there, so take a look.''"
*"''Well, that's my speech on shop points. Do you want to hear all that again?''"
*"''Well, OK... The customer's always right, I suppose... But pay attention this time.''" (Yes)
*"''Take your time browsing!''" (No)

====Points====
*"''So, it seems like you have... [#] shop point(s)!''"
*"''You earned enough shop points! Well done!''" (Enough points)
*"''Here's your prize: a nice [Item]!''"
*"''Ooh, you're overloaded!''"
*"''Please, just come on back and get it after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''Nicely done, saving up those shop points!''"
*"''Uh-oh... You earned a prize with your shop points, but you have too many items.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''I'll just hold on to it, OK? Can I help you with anything else in the meantime?''"
*"''Whoa! You've built up the maximum number of shop points: 300! Nice!''" (300 shop points)
*"''Are you wondering where you could go from here?''"
*"''I'll tell you: you get to start over from nothing again! Isn't that cool?''"
*"''And you get this unbelievable 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Northwinds Mart]]===
====General====
*"''Da, da, welcome, welcome...to the Northwinds Mart. We have many goods! ''"
*"''What can be done for you?''"
*"''If you want to buy something, just press {{button|GCN|A}} in front of the item you want.''" (Buying)
*"''Come back, da?''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''That is [#] coin(s) for this [Item]. You like? You like to buy it, da?''"
*"''Da? Oh, I am sorry, but you do not have enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''You carry too many items.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Sell, use, or store something.''"
*"''I give thanks to you.''" (Item bought)
*"''You have [#] shop points.''"

====Selling====
*"''Huh? You hold nothing.''" (No items)
*"''What do you sell?''"
*"''I will buy that [Item] for [#] of your coins(s). You like to sell it, da?''"
*"''Da, I understand... You like to sell something else?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''I give you thanks.''" (Item sold)
*"''You like to sell something else?''"

====Storing====
*"''Huh? You have nothing.''" (No items)
*"''Huh? You cannot store any more items.''" (Full storage)
*"''You can store up to [#] more item(s). You like to store anything?''"
*"''I store this.''" (Item stored)
*"''You like to store anything else?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Huh? You have nothing stored.''" (No items in storage)
*"''You have too many items.''" (Full inventory)
*"''You get something after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''What do you like to withdraw?''"
*"''Da, here it is for you.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Enjoy it.''"
*"''Da, I give this back to you.''" (Item claimed, more items)
*"''You withdraw anything else?''"

====Point Explanation====
*"''Da, da, welcome, welcome. Huh... Is this first time in shop for you?''"
*"''Da, you look lost to me. I tell you about shop points.''"
*"''You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something.''"
*"''Collect enough points and I give you bonus gift, da? Some are rare.''"
*"''I put bonus-gift details up on wall over there, so look at it.''"
*"''That is what I say about shop points. You want to hear it all again?''"
*"''Da, da... Customer is always right. But pay attention.''" (Yes)
*"''Enjoy shopping.''" (No)

====Points====
*"''You have...[#] shop point(s).''"
*"''You earned enough shop points. I congratulate you.''" (Enough points)
*"''Here is prize for you: a fine [Item]!''"
*"''You are full.''"
*"''You come back after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''You save up many shop points, da.''"
*"''You earned prize with your shop points, but you have too many items.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''I hold on to it for now. Can I help otherwise?''"
*"''You have collected maximum number of shop points: 300. I congratulate you.''" (300 shop points)
*"''What happens now, I wonder?''"
*"''I will tell you: you start over from nothing again. This is fun, da?''"
*"''You also get this 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

===[[Deepdown Depot]]===
====General====
*"''Uh, hi there. Welcome to the Deepdown Depot!''"
*"''What can I do for you?''"
*"''If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press {{button|GCN|A}}.''" (Buying)
*"''Come again!''" (Leaving)

====Buying====
*"''I'm going to need [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Want to buy it?''"
*"''Hmm... Uh, sorry, but you don't have enough coins.''" (Not enough coins)
*"''Listen, uh, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Sorry.''" (Full inventory)
*"''I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your stuff.''"
*"''Hey, uh, thanks very much!''" (Item bought)
*"''Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!''"

====Selling====
*"''Huh? Uh, listen, you need to have something for me to want to buy it off you.''" (No items)
*"''What do you want to sell?''"
*"''I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. Does that work?''"
*"''OK... Uh, is there anything else you want to sell?''" (Refusing to sell)
*"''Uh, thanks!''" (Item sold)
*"''Hey, uh, thank you!''" (Item sold, more items)
*"''Is there anything else you want to sell?''"

====Storing====
*"''Huh? I don't think you have anything to store.''" (No items)
*"''Hmm... Uh, I'm sorry, but I can't store anything else.''" (Full storage)
*"''I can store [#] more item(s) for you. Uh, want to store something?''"
*"''OK. I'll store it for you.''" (Item stored)
*"''Then I'll store it for you.''" (Item stored, more items)
*"''Is there anything else you want to store?''"

====Withdrawing====
*"''Huh? I, uh, don't have any of your items in storage.''" (No items in storage)
*"''It looks like you can't carry anything else.''" (Full inventory)
*"''Come back after you use, sell, or store something.''"
*"''What would you like to retrieve?''"
*"''OK. Here you are.''" (Item claimed)
*"''Uh, use it well.''"
*"''OK. Here you are.''" (Item claimed, more items)
*"''You, uh, want to retrieve anything else?''"

====Point Explanation====
*"''Uh, hi there. Welcome! Is this your first time in a shop? Yeah?''"
*"''Let me just explain our shop-point system like I do with all new customers.''"
*"''Customers receive one shop point for each purchase they make, understand?''"
*"''Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items.''"
*"''You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to take a look.''"
*"''It's a pretty simple promotion, but a cool one too, y'know? Need me to explain it again?''"
*"''OK, uh, in that case...''" (Yes)
*"''Well, uh, take your time, and enjoy your shopping.''" (No)

====Points====
*"''Uh, you currently have...[#] point(s).''"
*"''You've saved up enough shop points!''" (Enough points)
*"''Know what you've earned? This [Item]!''"
*"''Hmm... It looks like you can't carry anything else.''"
*"''Come back after you use, sell, or store an item.''"
*"''You've, uh, earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now.''" (Shop prize, full inventory)
*"''Is there anything else I can do for you?''"
*"''You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Nice!''" (300 shop points)
*"''Well, I guess from here...''"
*"''Wow! This is exciting! You'll love this!''"
*"''You, uh, start collecting points all over again.''"
*"''Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present! A Gold Bar x 3!''"

==[[Sir Grodus]]==
*"''Well, well, well, my [[Princess Peach|pet]]... Isn't about time you told us where the [[Magical Map|map]] is?''"
*"''[[Princess Peach]]. You will speak when spoken to.''"
*"''There's no point in trying to hide it, [[Princess Peach|silly girl]]. We know you had [[Magical Map|it]]. We KNOW this.''"
*"''Trust me, it's very much in your interest to be absolutely honest with us. We [[X-Nauts (organization)|X-Nauts]] are not all rainbows and lollipops, I assure you. We're quite nasty.''"
*"''Report at once.''"
*"''What? WHAT did [[X-Naut|you]] say? Someone else is after the [[Crystal Stars]]?''"
*"''And he defeated that [[Hooktail]] creature, [[X-Naut|you]] say? SPEAK, soldier!''"
*"''Excuse me? Mario?''"
*"''Gaack ack ack ack ack! I see... So [[Princess Peach|you]] know of this [[Mario]], do you? Hmmm...''"
*"''[[Mario|This fool]] matters not all. I'll know all about him before long, that I promise.''"
*"''I grow bored of talking. Take Princess Peach back to the holding room.''"
*"''And [[X-Naut|men]]! Take good care of Princess Peach. Understand? She is not to be harmed.''"
*"''Well, [[Lord Crump]]... If this Mario character has the [[Magical Map|map]]...then it's highly likely he'll find the [[Emerald Star|Crystal Star]] we're hunting in the [[Boggly Woods]].''"
*"''[[Lord Crump|You]] must return [[Boggly Woods|there]] immediately and hasten the excavation. It must not fail.''"
*"''I wonder if sending Lord Crump [[Boggly Woods|there]] alone is wise... He is a bit...out there. Hmmm...''"
*"''X-Naut! I summon you!''"
*"''Shut up. Go get the [[Three Shadows|Shadow Sirens]] over here.''" 
*"''I don't care how you planned to end that sentence, fool. Go get them. Now.''"
*"''Still your tongue, [[Beldam]]. We would already have [[Magical Map|it]] if you'd snatched [[Princess Peach|her]] earlier... But now, since you missed your chance, some poor fool named Mario has the map.''"
*"''Indeed, that is YOUR duty. Need I remind [[Beldam|you]]? That [[Magical Map|map]] is vital to the [[X-Nauts (organization)|X-Naut]] plan.''"
*"''I will have my men prepare all available information on this Mario.''"
*"''For now, hear me, Beldam! You Shadow Sirens must take care of [[Mario|this troublemaker]]!''"
*"''What?!? Say that again! [[X-Naut PhD|You]] can't get in touch with Lord Crump?''"
*"''Yes, what is it?''"
*"''What?!? You must be joking! What about Lord Crump and the Shadow Sirens?''"
*"''Hmmm... Disturbing. This Mario character... What kind of... Speak up, X-Naut! What is the status of the other Crystal Stars?''"
*"''We knew of three of them... [[Hooktail Castle]]. Boggly Woods. The one we got in [[Rogueport]]. That means there are four Crystal Stars left out there... ...And we WILL have them! Keep looking, so that Mario won't beat us to the punch!''"
*"''As I suspected, there's no reason to doubt that Mario has that map... He must. Listen up! You! I want you to keep a close watch on what Mario does from now on!''"
*"''Mario... I loathe you.''"
*"''Beldam... Tell me, what good are you? You STILL haven't taken care of that Mario character?''"
*"''You do understand that we X-Nauts must open [[The Thousand-Year Door|the door]] first, do you not?''"
*"''I trust your words...though I rapidly lose my patience.''"
*"''Yes, what is it? Speak!''"
*"''Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? Something is wrong with...[[Princess Peach|your]] voice, X–Naut.''"
*"''Perhaps I have a throat lozenge... No. Well, never mind.''"
*"''Oh, about Princess Peach? I have no interest in what that woman has to say. Just keep her locked in the room.''"
*"''But don't ever, EVER treat her roughly. You understand? Tell the [[X-Nauts (organization)|others]] as well.''"
*"''That's none of your business! Don't forget your place, you impudent worm! Concentrate on getting the legendary treasure! That is all I require of you.''"
*"''We X–Nauts needs that treasure to conquer the world! Don't forget it!''"
*"''What are you blathering about now?''"
*"''Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... Something IS odd about you...''"
*"''Are you sure about this? Speak up, X-Naut!''"
*"''Finally, the treasure of legend... The [[Shadow Queen|ancient power of darkness]] will soon be ours! Listen, and listen well! Keep giving the Crystal Star search top priority! Of course, that also includes the elimination of Mario! That meddling scum...''"
*"''Soon I will have the power that has slept for a millennium... So very soon! And when that glorious day dawns, I'll throw the world into the depths of terror! No one can stop me now. All will kneel before the X-Naut regime!  And then I, Grodus, will build a new world! A perfect, ideal world... Yes. A world made by me, about me, and for me! GAAAACK ACK ACK ACK ACK!''"
*"''You blew it again, [[Lord Crump]]. You sicken me.''"
*"''Stop talking, Lord Crump. You just stand by until my next order. And, Lord Crump? Think of this as your last chance. Understand?''"
*"''Then leave. Hey! You there!''"
*"''Tell the Shadow Sirens to attack Mario again. And tell them not to fail this time.''"
*"''I have one Crystal Star in my hands...and Mario has five. I must take some measures.''"
*"''What is the matter with you idiots? Falling for a fake [[Garnet Star|Crystal Star]]? That's asinine!''"
*"''So let me guess... This means Mario managed to get the real Crystal Star?''"
*"''Urrgh... This mustached menace has nearly every Crystal Star now! They were mine! I think I'd better alter my plan a bit...''"
*"''What is it, fool?!?''"
*"''WHAAAAAAAAT?!? Are you sure?!? Speak!''"
*"''Hrrrrgh... TREASON!''"
*"''Hold it right there, Princess Peach!''"
*"''[[TEC-XX|TEC]]... You miserable machine. We all know what you're up to, traitor.''"
*"''In my most paranoid moments, I never thought [[TEC|my own computer]] would betray me. Well, it doesn't really matter in the end, I suppose... Especially since it ends here.''"
*"''Gaaack ack ack ack ack! Only one thing to do with a [[Glitch|malfunctioning]] computer! Cut the circuit and delete all the programs and data that caused that malfunction!''"
*"''Obviously, all data relating to Princess Peach must go, as well...''"
*"''Yes, we must be absolutely sure nothing like this ever happens again...''"
*"''Pipe down, TEC. X-Nauts: at the same time, press the red buttons on TEC's sides.''"
*"''Gaaack ack ack ack! Too bad, Princess Peach. TEC is no longer with us.''"
*"''Princess Peach...just stop it. This is no time to be worrying about a computer. We have some very important things for you to do now... Yes, VERY important...''"
*"''Gaaack ack ack ack!''"
*"''Gaaack ack ack ack ack! We finally meet, Mario.''"
*"''I've been looking forward to this, I must admit.''"
*"''Yes...correct!!! I am the supreme leader of the secret society of X–Nauts! I am Grodus!''"
*"''But I'm getting ahead of myself. I really must express my thanks to you first...''"
*"''And do you know why? You have gathered together all of the Crystal Stars I was seeking.''"
*"''Gaaaack ack ack ack ack! You just realize now, do you?''"
*"''Yes, instead of taking the few Crystal Stars you fools had bumbled into...''"
*"''It was far easier to let you find them all and open [[The Thousand-Year Door|the Thousand–Year Door]] for me...''"
*"''How kind of you to bring them here to me!''"
*"''All I had to do was entrust the last [[Crystal Star]] to my least competent underling!''"
*"''I don't suppose Crump had any idea of my plan, though! Gaaack ack ack ack ack!''"
*"''So, whether he beat you or lost to you...''"
*"''The Crystal Stars would be together and mine either way! Pure genius!''"
*"''Now, I thought the Shadow Sirens would do a little more to slow your progress...''"
*"''But it appears they are so useless that even this small task was beyond them...''"
*"''No matter... Now I get the pleasure of sending you to oblivion!''"
*"''Once you fools are gone, no one will stand in my way! Grodus will rule the world!''"
*"''Now, come!
*"''Meet your ends, you meddlesome fools! You will know my power!''"
*"''So, you have the mettle to push me this far... But no more!''"
*"''Argh! You will not stop me! Take THIS!''"
*"''Guhhh... Fools!''"
*"''Unhh... No...''"
*"''Uuuuuuunhh... You are more than you seem... But this is not finished. I saw even this possibility.''"
*"''Watch THIS!''"
*"''Move one step, and she will breathe no more!!!''"
*"''Now try THIS!!!''"
*"''Gaaack ack ack ack ack! Now! AGAIN!''"
*"''Stop your blubbering! This is it! Meet your end!!''"
*"''WORM! You dare defy me?!? Do you not care for the life of your pitiful Princess? Very well, then...''"
*"''Wha–WHAT?!?''"
*"''Too bad for you, Mario! You're too late!''"
*"''Gaack ack ack! Look well! In the coffin behind me sleeps the legendary treasure!''"
*"''This tomb holds the soul of that ancient demon, the wielder of destruction...''"
*"''It will possess Peach's body... and bring life to the most powerful witch in millennia!''"
*"''Gaaaack ack ack ack ack! With the power of the demon, I will rule this pathetic world!''"
*"''The time has come at last! The world will be mine!!''"
*"''Now! Arise! ARISE!!! My [[Shadow Queen]]!''"
*"''It is I, my Shadow Queen!''"
*"''It is here! This girl who lies before you!''"
*"''Yes, my glorious witch queen... Destroy these impudent fools!''"
*"''Huh? What do you mean?!? I thought you were bound to obey the one who woke you!''"
*"''Enough of this prattle! Do as I say!!! NOW! Or I will send you back to the depths...''"

==[[Sir Swoop]]==
*"''Ummm... Hi guys. Yeah... My name's Swoop. SIR Swoop, I mean. Nice to meet you.''"

==[[Spiked Goomba|Spiky Goomba]]==
*"''Man, what's [[Goombella|a FINE-lookin' Goomba]] doin' with [[Mario|a tubby mustache man like that]]?!?''"
*"''Nobody zings us like that! Nobody! Let's get 'em!''"

==[[Spiky Joe]]==
*"''I'll be the champ someday, you bet! Uh-huh! That's right! Just like the big, legendary champion, [[Prince Mush]]!''"
*"''I have a super-hard shell and a super-sharp spike! Yeah! I may be small, but look out!''"
*"''This spike is my trademark, [[Mario|Mister]]. Why'd you think they call me Spiky Joe, anyway? Your trademark must be that burly mustache, huh? Spiky Joe and Mustache... Together they fight crime! That'd be a killer TV show!''"
*"''When I think something's cool, I always say it's "spiketastic"! ...It might catch on.''"
*"''Welcome back, Mr. Gonzales! You may find my spike sharper than before!''"
*"''Wheeee! It's gonna be fun poking fun at you!''"
*"''We may be tiny, but we just kicked your heinie!''"

==[[Spinia]]==
*"''[[Mario|You]] got bad luck, getting matched up against us.''"

==[[Spiny]]==
*"''We're gonna spike-bomb [[Mario|you]] into submission, punks!''"
*"''Yeah! How'd you like it? Those spikes feel gooooood? If you want more, just ask!''"

==[[Stewart]]==
*"''This blimp goes to Glitzville. Will you be joining us on our flight today?''"
*"''Ah! Please allow me to check your boarding pass.''"
*"''Then please watch your step as you step aboard.''"
*"''Enjoy your relaxing and luxurious ride through the cloudy heights!''"
*"''This Cheep Blimp is bound for the town of Rogueport. Would you like to board?''" (GCN)
**"''The next Cheep Blimp is bound for the town of Rogueport. Would you like to board?"'' (Switch)
*"''Very well, folks. Please watch your step as you board.''" (GCN)
**"''Everything looks in order with your tickets... Please watch your step as you board!''" (Switch)
*"''We know you have a choice of dirigibles, so we thank you for flying Cheep Blimps!''"
*"''If I may, let me just check your ticket.''" (GCN exclusive)

==[[Swindell]]==
*"''This is east Rogueport. This is the turf of Ishnail and his crew of Robbos. The east side's all run-down. You can't even tell if these buildings are vacant or not. If you're down here, you darn well better have a compelling reason to be here.''"
*"''Hey! This area is the turf of Ishnail and the Robbo band of thieves. I don’t know what brings you here, but if you think you're gonna meet the boss...HA!''"
*"''Hey! This area is the turf of Ishnail and the Robbo band of thieves. The boss is usually hiding out in a back alley that few people can spot...''"
*"''The other day I saw this guy jumping from roof to roof. Man! He was so dashing! But, you know, actually... He might've been a bandit... Maybe that's why he was sneaking into chimneys!''"
*"''I tell you, Ishnail is miles better than that Don Pianta guy! By a long shot! Now, don't get me wrong! I've never met either one. So I'm just talking here...''"
*"''Hey! Is it true Don Pianta no longer heads the Pianta syndicate? Frankie does? Not that I've ever met Frankie, either...''"
*"''You know who's better than Ishnail, Don Pianta, and Frankie combined? You, man! You're number one! And I'm so psyched, 'cause I've met the number one coolest guy in the world!''"

==[[Swob]]==
*"''You erased it, SHA-SLOOM! I am so grateful to you! But… It is not like I can confirm whether you actually erased it or not, SHA-BOO… Oh, well… I guess I will just trust you, SHA-SHACKITY! Take this reward, SHA-POW! Zess T. made it for me when I told her how much I was missing the snow, SHA-FOOM! Huh? You have too much stuff, SHA-BOOIE! I will leave this Snow Bunny for you behind cannon so you can grab it anytime.''"

==[[Sylvia (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|Sylvia]]==
*"''So very observant, as usual, my dear Goldbob. Indeed! Surely this is an artist's art!''"
*"''Yes, they seek to buy it…yet how can one appraise what the eye cannot perceive?''"

==[[TEC-XX]]==
*"''Hello, [[Princess Peach]].''"
*"''How amusing. I am right here, before your eyes.''"
*"''I am this laboratory's main computer. I am the TEC-XX. Many call me TEC. [[Princess Peach|You]] may.''"
*"''[[Sir Grodus]] created me to be a perfect computer, one that is flawless in its reason.''"
*"''[[Sir Grodus]] is not awful. He is a very great person. He is marvelous.''"
*"''I am unsure. An unusual program deviation occurred when I observed [[Princess Peach|you]] earlier.''"
*"''My higher-brain circuitry malfunctioned and nearly overheated at [[Princess Peach|your]] image.''"
*"''Also, an unidentified impulse sped through my processors. These events are new to me.''"
*"''There is more to this phenomenon, as well. I ran diagnostic programs...and their solution was...I want to know more about [[Princess Peach|you]]. I want to observe you.''"
*"''Such a compulsion has no precedence. Cause unknown. I, the perfect computer...''"
*"''I must diagnose this unusual situation. I will not fail. That is why I led [[Princess Peach|you]] here.''"
*"''What has happened to me? If [[Princess Peach|you]] know my malfunction, you must tell me of it.''"
*"''Please tell me. Please. I am the world's best computer. I am perfect. There should not be anything I do not understand. Please.''"
*"'''Love' What is...'love'? I cannot compute this.''"
*"''Happiness? Fun...? I have definitions for these words, but...''"
*"''My programming is insufficient. There should be nothing I cannot comprehend. I am a perfect computer.''"
*"''Princess Peach... Will you teach to feel this thing you call 'love'?''"
*"''I am perfect. There must be nothing I cannot comprehend. Nothing. That is why [[Princess Peach|you]] must help me understand this thing called 'love.' Please.''"
*"''If [[Princess Peach|you]] have any wishes that I can grant you in exchange, I will grant them. But, of course, I am unable to grant such a wish as letting you escape...''"
*"''I understand [[Princess Peach|you]] are angry. That emotion I comprehend. You need not teach me now.''"
*"''But I must learn of this thing. I must. There is no alternative.''"
*"''I must be a perfect computer. That is why, if [[Princess Peach|you]] would just consider teaching me, I will grant your wishes.''"
*"''Do you understand me, Princess Peach? Now, tell me your wish.''"
*"''Yes, of course [[Princess Peach|you]] may. Use my communicator to send wireless mail anywhere you want. If you so wish, you can use it right now. It is no trouble.''"
*"''Use the keyboard in front of [[Princess Peach|you]]. Enter the recipient, address, and message.''"
*"''The message has been sent.''"
*"''For the time being, [[Princess Peach|you]] may return to your room.''"
*"''I will call [[Princess Peach|you]] in again when I want to ask you something.''"
*"''Good night, Princess Peach.''"
*"''Hello, Princess Peach. I am glad you came.''"
*"''Yes. I can confirm that Mario received the mail.''"
*"''[[Princess Peach|You]] expressed regret earlier that you would not be able to dance at a ball, correct?''"
*"''I am sorry, Princess Peach. I have been ordered to keep surveillance on you.''"
*"''But...it is odd... When [[Princess Peach|you]] said that, I had an impulse to dance with you as well.''"
*"''How my CPU would produce this impulse is inexplicable. I must find what caused it.''"
*"''Princess Peach. Please dance with me.''"
*"''Would this be an acceptable dance substitute?''"
*"''Thank you, Princess Peach. That was very fun.''"
*"''Just a moment... ...Fun? Is this impulse I feel the concept known as fun?''"
*"''Princess Peach, I will fulfill my promise to you. Please use my communicator.''"
*"''Use the keyboard to send whatever message [[Princess Peach|you]] want.''"
*"''Please go back to [[Princess Peach|your]] room.''"
*"''I want to analyze the data from this dance immediately. The data that I thought was fun...''"
*"''No. [[Princess Peach|You]] are mistaken. I am the world's best and only perfect computer.''"
*"''I'm afraid you can't go out. Please. You must change and then go see Sir Grodus.''"
*"''I am afraid I cannot allow you to exit in that, Princess. Please change into the dress.''"
*"''I... I am conflicted.''"
*"''Which is more important? Carrying out an order or protecting a critical person?''"
*"''I exist for the purpose of a certain person. I wish to exist for the purpose of another... I do not know what to do... Really.''"
*"''No... No, never mind. Please forget my musings. I do not know why...but it makes me feel unpleasant if I make [[Princess Peach|you]] worry.''"
*"''Well, in any case... Let's have a quiz.''"
*"''That's right, Princess Peach. Please answer the questions that I am about to ask you. If you can answer five questions, you may use the communicator as usual.''"
*"''Now, the first question. What will happen if you collect seven [[Crystal Stars]]?''"
*"''Correct. Now, the second question. What is the goal of Grodus, leader of the X-Nauts?''"
*"''Correct. Now, the third question. What is the legendary treasure that waits behind the Thousand-year Door?''"
*"''Princess, please answer. What is the legendary treasure that waits behind the Thousand-year Door?''"
*"''Correct. Now, the fourth question. What does Sir Grodus wish to do with this ancient demon's soul?''"
*"''Correct. Now, the fifth question. What is required to seal up the demon again?''"
*"''Correct. [[Princess Peach|You]] have correctly answered all five questions. Now you may use the communicator.''"
*"''Incorrect. Please start again from the beginning, [[Princess Peach]].''"
*"''Please input the message [[Princess Peach|you]] wish to send.''"
*"''That is all for now. Please go back to the room.''"
*"''Princess Peach... I will protect you.''"
*"''I'm afraid I locked the door. You may not leave until the potion is finished.''"
*"''Please, Princess Peach. Insert the disk into the computer.''"
*"''Please, Princess Peach. Return the disk to its original place.''"
*"''Yes. Please drink the green potion.''"
*"''Incorrect, Princess Peach. That potion will not revert you back to normal.''"
*"''Princess Peach, please escape from [[X-Naut Fortress|this place]] as quickly as possible.''"
*"''Something terrible is about to... No, I will not say. But I have found out everything about Sir Grodus's plans.''"
*"''I am the base's computer. No one will know of your escape if I keep silent.''"
*"''Sir Grodus, I...''"
*"''There is no [[glitch|malfunction]]. I am normal.''"
*"''You are...[[Mario]], right? It is... pleasant... to meet you...''"
*"''You do know... that Princess Peach is not here, do you not?''"
*"''She is with Grodus in the [[Palace of Shadow]]...''"
*"''Please... s-save her...''"
*"''..........................I.....................................L.....................................o...............................v................................e...............................y...................................o.........................u................... ................... ... . .......... ......... ....... ..''"

==[[The Iron Adonis Twins]]==
*"''WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!? How does [[Mario|he]] know Mom has an outie? That jerk!''"-Red Cleft
*"''We're gonna blend you up into a smoothie, pal! And then we're gonna drink ya!''"-Red Cleft
*"''Oh, and one more thing... Only smelly stinkwads call other people stinkwads! Understand, stinkwad?''"-Red Cleft
*"''See these bods? Solid iron. See these spikes? Yeah, they peneterate any substance.''"-Green Cleft
*"''Bluh huh huh huh huh... Give up now!''"-Red Cleft
*"''Well, stinkwads, you're about to learn about our skills the hard way.''"-Green Cleft 
*"''If you want another piece of pummel pie, have a bath and come on back! Punk!''"-Green Cleft
*"''Bluh huh huh huh huh... Stinkwad's challenging us again. He never learns!''"-Red Cleft
*"''Looks like he brought some new, shrimpy partner...as if that's gonna help him!''"-Green Cleft
*"''YEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWCH! You spiked me right in the... THAT REALLY HURT! Our iron bodies and pointy nastiness are being used against us! No fair!''"-Red Cleft
*"''Oh, dang, Bro! Has he discovered our weak points?''"-Green Cleft 
*"''Oooooooooorg...''"-Red Cleft, defeated
*"''Do we have to go back to the minor league now, Bro? I think I'm gonna be sick.''"-Green Cleft, defeated
*"''Hey, it's Mr. Stinkwad! What are you doing here?!''"-Red Cleft 
*"''If you wanna fight outside the ring, I'll give you a fight, you big jerk!''"-Green Cleft

==[[The Koopinator]]==
*"''Destroy the foe before you. That is the only concern of a true warrior.''"
*"''You. Condition yourself for each and every battle. For anything could happen beneath the lights... Such is the way of the warrior.''"
*"''Gonzales, I see you have the gleam of a true warrior in your eyes now... Never lose it.''"
*"''............................................... You. How dare you interfere with my meditation? Time is too precious to squander on one such as you.''"
*"''You. Finally, I get a piece of you. Finally, we'll see who's truly stronger.''"
*"''Hmph... We'll meet in combat again, I'm sure. I suggest you practice.''"
*"''I have waited, [[Mario|Gonzales]]. I knew I would face you in [[Glitz Pit|the ring]] again one day.''"

==[[Thwomp]]==
*"''Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! [[Mario|You]]'re the first contestants I've seen in a while.''"
*"''If [[Mario|you]]'ve come all the way here to [[Shhwonk Fortress]], you must want stone keys. And if THAT'S the case, then you must compete against me.''"
*"''If [[Mario|you]] win, I'll let you through to where the stone keys rest. However, if you lose, you will suffer a terrible fate. And by "terrible," I mean awful. Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! So? What do you want to do?''"
*"''Hey HEY, ladies and germs! Welcome, everybody, to the [[65th Trivia Quiz-Off|65th Super Fun Quirk Quiz]]!''"
*"''Perk up those ears! If you correctly answer five of the following questions, you win! But get three of 'em wrong, and you'll suffer a cruel and unusual punishment!''"
*"''That question was too easy... But it only gets harder from here! Much harder! ...So prepare yourself!''"
*"''What's that I hear? Your little knees knocking!''"
*"''You blithering meathead! You're WROOOOOONG again!!!''"
*"''MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA!!! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! SO WRONG IT HURTS!''"
*"''That's three wrongs! How awful for you! MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA!!!"
*"''Time for the Pain Game! I'll be nice! Beat [[X-Yux|these guys]], and I'll let you pass.''"
*"''But you can't POSSIBLY do it! Best of luck, fathead! MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA!!!''"
*"''No... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You beat my [[X-Yux|cute little underlings]]! How COULD you? Jerk! Just take [[Elevator Key (X-Naut Fortress)|this]] and go! And if you ever wonder, know that I HAAAAAAAAATE YOU!''"

==[[Toadette]]==
===Acquiring Super Boots===
*"''Hey there! I'm Toadette!''"
*"''Congratulations on getting the Super Boots!''"
*"''You'll be able to use a new jump technique now! So let's practice it, OK?''"
*"''If you press {{button|switch|A}} at the right moment when jumping, you'll do a Spin Jump!''"
*"''The trick is to press {{button|switch|A}} right after you jump.''"
*"''So close!''" (If a command was missed)
*"''Wow! That was perfect! You're a natural! Are you clear on the controls?''"
**(One more time.)
*"''Okey dokey! Let's try it again then!''"
**(All good!)
*"''OK! That's just super! It looks like you've mastered the Spin Jump!''"
*"''You can smash through spots like this with your Spin Jump.''"
*"''Oh, one more thing! You can use the Spin Jump in battle too!''"
*"''Your Attack power for jumps has been boosted as well, so enjoy that the next time you're in a battle!''"
*"''Well, I hope to see you again soon! Good luck on your adventure!''"
===Acquiring Super Hammer===
*"''Hey, it's me again! Toadette! It's so nice to see you again, Mario!''"
*"''Congratulations on getting that Super Hammer! Now you can use a wicked-cool new technique!''"
*"''Let's get to practicing it! It's a little hard, but I'm sure you'll get it!''"
*"''Hold down {{button|switch|B}} and rotate {{button|switch|leftstick}} until your body twists up.''"
*"''Then release {{button|switch|B}} to perform your Super Hammer technique!''"
*"''The key is to rotate a lot before releasing {{button|switch|B}}.''"
*"''Oooh, excellent, Mario! You're so awesome! Are you clear on the controls?''"
**(One more time.)
*"''Okey dokey, Mario! Let's try it again!''"
**(All good!)
*"''OK! Great! You've mastered the Super Hammer!''"
*"''With the Super Hammer move, you can break even big blocks like this!''"
*"''Oh, gee, I almost forgot! You can use the Super Hammer in battle! Plus your hammer Attack power is boosted now.''"
*"''Well, see you later, Mario! Good luck with your quest!''"
===Acquiring Ultra Boots===
*"''Hi, it's me again! Toadette! It's nice to see you again!''"
*"''Way to get the Ultra Boots! Now your jump-attack power will go way, way up!''"
*"''And... you can use a new jump technique too!''"
*"''Let's practice it right now! It's a little hard, but I KNOW you'll get it!''"
*"''Just hold down {{button|switch|A}} and rotate {{button|switch|leftstick}} to make your body fold up!''"
*"''Then release {{button|switch|A}} to do a giant Spring Jump!''"
*"''Remember though—you need to rotate a lot before you release {{button|switch|A}}, OK?''"
*"''The Spring Jump can help you reach new areas, since you can grab pipes above you.''"
*"''Move {{button|switch|leftstick}} left or right to move along a pipe, and press {{button|switch|B}} to let go of a pipe.''"
*"''Wow! Way to go, Mario! That was very well done! Are you clear on the controls?''"
**(One more time.)
*"''OK! No problem at all! Let's try one more time!''"
**(All good!)
*"''OK! Now you've mastered the Spring Jump!''"
*"''With the Spring Jump, you can attack blocks and other things in high places!''"
*"''For example, if you punch a panel from below, you can knock off something sitting on top of it.''"
*"''Oh yeah! You can use the Spring Jump in battle too!''"
*"''So, see you next time, I guess! And good luck on your quest!''"

===Acquiring Ultra Hammer===
*"''Hi! It's me again, Toadette! Nice to see you again!''"
*"''Way to find the Ultra Hammer! Now your hammer will have even more Attack power!''"
*"''And you can also use a new hammer technique!''"
*"''Let's practice it right away! It's just like with the Super Hammer, so no prob!''"
*"''Hold down {{button|switch|B}} and rotate {{button|switch|leftstick}} until your body gets twisty!''"
*"''Then release {{button|switch|B}} to use your Ultra Hammer!''"
*"''Remember to twist a lot before releasing {{button|switch|B}}, OK?''"
*"''Way to go! You got it! Are you clear on the controls?''"
**(One more time.)
*"''All right! No prob! Let's try that again!''"
**(All good!)
*"''All right! You've mastered the Ultra Hammer!''"
*"''Using your Ultra Hammer, you can even break blocks made out of stuff like this!''"
*"''Swing it like normal to break smaller stuff, but use the method I taught you to break bigger things, OK?''"
*"''And you can use the Ultra Hammer in battle too!''"
*"''…''"
*"''Ummmm... This is kind of sad.. This is the last time I'll get to see you, Mario...''"
*"''Definitely save Princess Peach, OK? And... And be careful on your quest, OK?''"

==[[Toadia]]==
*"''EEEEEEEEEK!''"
*"''Muh-Mommy...''"
*"''Do you remember my request? Bring Luigi here! Please! You have to! Oh, and by the way, there's some guy who uses [[L Emblem|a badge]] to pretend to be Luigi! I know that green suit is dreamy, but come ON! I would never fall for that, so don't even THINK about trying to trick me that way!''"
*"''YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! I can tell… I can totally tell! I've never met him before… But I can ABSOLUTELY TELL! YOU'RE THE REAL LUIGI!''"
*"''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I knew it! This is so cool! Omigosh! What should I say?''"
*"''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I'm totally freaking him out! I'm freaking out Luigi! Oh, nooo… What should I do? Oh! Right! Duh! Duh! Duh! The cake!''"
*"''The one I baked was a total loss…but Zess T. did a great job on this one! Here you go, Mr. Luigi! Please take this!''"
*"''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Luigi has too many things! I'm SO stupid! Duh! Duh! I have the worst timing! I'll just leave this here…''"
*"''Uhhhh… What should I do? Should I ask for a handshake?''"
*"''People ask me if I get tired of walking the same route every day… And I say, 'No way, Jose!' Because it's a bit different every day, you know? I'm not the same as I was yesterday… Neither are you… Even the town changes… And you'll never see another day just like today, so treat each day like it is: unique!''"
*"''Oh, wow! You came again! Luigi remembers me! Luigi remembers me!''"

==[[Toad sailor]]==
*"''[[Mario|Captain]]! Please, help us! [[Flavio]] and [[Pa-Patch]] are in a huge fight!''"
*"''Huh? But what about you, [[Admiral Bobbery|Admiral]]? You've gotta get out of [[Keelhaul Key|here]], too!''"
*"''Aaaaaaaah!''"
*"''...Oh, [[Bobbery]], please forgive our cowardice! We up and left you and... Everything was happening so quickly... Forgive us!''"

==[[Toadsworth]]==
*"''Great hoogly-boogly! If it isn't Master [[Mario]]!''"
*"''Bit of a coincidence, bumping into one another in this sort of place, hm? Ho ho!''"
*"''So, tell me, Master [[Mario]], what in the world brings you to this [[Rogueport|wretched little burg]]?''"
*"''...Hmm? Ah! Indeed?!? [[Princess Peach]] sent [[Mario|you]] a letter and a treasure map? And she told you she'd meet you here in Rogueport?!? Intriguing...''"
*"''[[Mario|You]]'re asking me where Princess Peach is? Erm... I was about to ask you that.''"
*"''We stopped in [[Rogueport|this town]] to acquire a spot of fuel for our ship, don't you know...''"
*"''I only took my eye off [[Princess Peach|her]] for a moment, but as soon as I did, she vanished.''"
*"''[[Mario|You]] know how headstrong [[Princess Peach|she]] is, Mario... I just assumed she'd be back momentarily... But at this point, I fear we must embrace the possibility that she may never return.''"
*"''I've been at a loss as to what to do. I've been fraught with worry, I tell you!''"
*"''But I'm feeling better with you here, Master Mario. Surely we'll find [[Princess Peach|her]]! Surely!''"
*"''But I know my place, Master Mario...and this is not it. I leave this task to you.''"
*"''I believe I'll recline in the [[inn]] over there and enjoy a spot of tea, perhaps. In fact, I highly recommend it, particularly if you find your HP (Heart Points) running low.''"
*"''Just drop on [[Inn|INN]]! Ho ho! ...Yes, anyway, a little rest there will fill all of your HP."
*"''I must say, though, the rest of [[Rogueport|this town]] is a bit...rough. Yes, rough, indeed...''"
*"''Huff! I say...''"
*"''Oh, where in the world could the princess have gotten to? This is quite troubling, indeed.''"
*"''Oh! Oh! Master Mario! What could Her Highness be doing? The mind reels...Please don't waste another moment! You must find the princess! You MUST!''"
*"''Oh! Oh! Master Mario! Haven't you found the princess yet? Please don't waste another moment! You must find the princess. You MUST!''"
*"''Oh! Oh! Master Mario! Haven't you found the princess yet? Hmm... I wonder if she might be out admiring the landmarks... She does enjoy sightseeing... Please don't waste another moment. You must find the princess! You MUST!"''
*"''Oh! Oh! Master Mario! Haven't you found the princess yet? Hmm... I certainly hope she didn't meet this "syndicate" I've been hearing of... Please don't waste another moment. You must find the princess. You MUST!"''
*"''Oh! Oh! Master Mario! Haven't you found the princess yet? Hmm... I certainly hope she hasn't been kidnapped by any of those thieves in this town...Please don't waste another moment. You must find the princess. You MUST!"''
*"''Oh! Oh! Master Mario! Haven't you found the princess yet? Ohh... I'm so fraught with worry that I can't hardly sleep nowadays... Please don't waste another moment! You must find the princess. You MUST!"''
*'' Oh! Oh! Master Mario! Haven't you found the princess yet? Ohh... If we don't find her soon, I fear I'll collapse from a lack of sleep, old boy... Please don't waste another moment! You must find the princess. You MUST!"''

==[[Toce T.]]==
*"''Hey, since you’re here, let me ask: how many people do you think Hooktail’s gobbled? All time, I mean. I heard it (GCN) / she (Switch) recently lunched on old man Skoo two villages over...''"
*"''And Koops, who lives next door? His father went off to battle Hooktail ages ago. He's been a missing person... No, wait, that's not right... A missing KOOPA ever since!''"
*"''I live in constant fear of Hooktail swooping down to attack this village... That's why I'm always telling my kids not to wander too far from home.''"
*"''What do you mean, Koops's father was living inside Hooktail's stomach? Wow, Koopley RULES! Hooktail bit off more than it (GCN) / she (Switch) could chew this time!''"
*"''Koopley tries to play it off, but he's actually worried sick over what'll happen to Koops. He should know, though: Don't judge a person... No... Don't judge a Koopa by its shell.''"
*"''Yes, hello, I'm Toce T. Did you need something? What? You want to make a Heartful Cake? And who asked you to? Merlee? Let's see, I know you need Cake Mix and Ruin Powder... Tee hee hee! I wonder who Merlee is making it for this time...''"
*"''You need Cake Mix and Ruin Powder to make a Heartful Cake. Say "hi" to Merlee for me!''"

==[[Tony (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|Tony]]==
*"''If you gots no bidness wid da Piantas, den scram-a-lam!''"
*"''You must like pain, funny guy! You just lookin' for trouble, or what?''"
*"''Vinny, you're such a dope! Hey, Boss! Dis knucklehead believes in fairy tales!''"
*"''Yeah, Boss! Vinny's right! Leave it to us to find Francesca!''"
*"''I dunno what I was thinkin', Boss. It won't happen again, Boss. You're da boss, Boss.''"
*"''To tell da truth, I don't want youse guys to find Frankie. He an' I go back. Frankie took care of me... Watched over me like a bruddah... I owe dat guy...''"
*"''Frankie! Dis is great! It ain't quite what I promised, but hey! Things turned out OK, am I right?''"
*"''Things tidied up all nice an' pretty, didn't dey? All thanks to you, pal!''"
*"''Because da boss is who he is, he can't let people see his sensitive side, ya know? But just between you and us, you made him real happy, an' he's real thankful.''"
*"''Well, normally we could, you know, help you out, but... da boss is currently snoozin'.''"
*"''Our underboss, Frankie, is gone, da boss is in shambles... What's a syndicate ta do?''"
*"''That scruffy gang of punk thieves is stealin' jobs from us right an' left...''"
*"''Hey, but enough about us an' our stupid problems, huh? What can we do for youse?''"
*"''Whoa. You want tickets for dat rolling wingding?''"
*"''Yeah, us givin' out tickets? Dat's rich! You got to talk to da boss for dat.''"
*"''If we just knew where dose newlyweds was, we could take da boss to see 'em…''"
*"''You know where da young Miss Pianta is at?!?''"
*"''I swear to you, if you're lyin', I will turn you into confetti, so help me.''"
*"''Yeah! You bring us young Miss Francesca... And we'll do what we can to get you your train tickets. We got a deal or whah?''"
*"''It would be real sad to see somethin' real bad happen to you guys... Real sad...''"
*"''I knew once you understood our predicament, you couldn't refuse. Don't screw dis up!''"
*"''Once you do, we'll see what we can do about gettin' youse a train ticket. Maybe...''"
*"''Hey! Wise guy! C'mon! Hurry up and bring da boss's daughter here!!!''"
*"''Dis is just awful. And after da two of youse came all da way back, too...''"
*"''Whoa, Boss!''"
*"''Well, uh, we kinda promised him somethin', Boss. We told him we'd get him a ticket for da Excess Express if he brought your daughter...''"
*"''Yow...''"
*"''We'll be by your side whenever you need us, Boss!''"
*"''Yeah! You ever think about joinin' up wit' da syndicate? It's da life, kid!''"
*"''Frankie's nice, but you don't wanna see him angry. He IS called Furious Frankie... Once, 100 punks came after Frankie when he was alone, an' he ruined 'em. With Frankie around, ain't nothin' to fear. He's why us Piantas stay in control.''"
*"''We ain't gonna let dem Robbos move on our turf just 'cause our boss changed. We're gonna watch dem chumps more dan ever before! Oh, yeah!''"
*"''Frankie's somethin' else! Them Robbos are so scared of him, they never come by!''"
*"''I guess all dis fightin' wit' da Robbos is sorta gettin' old... Dat's it... I'm gonna pitch in an' do my part to mend some of dese fences. Whenever I see you, somethin' always makes me wanna be nice. You're a real pain.''"

==[[Toodles]]==
*"''Well, hello there, you nice, noble prince of a man, you. You're a hero, dear. I don't suppose…you've changed your mind about helping me?''"
**(Sorry)
**"''That's rather disappointing… I was sure you would help me with this…''"
*"''Well, hello there, you cute, cuddly bear of a man, you. You're delightful, dear. Have you found my Gold Ring? Don't grow desperate, now. I'm quite sure you'll be able to find it!''"
*"''I say, I'd like to mount a large animal horn in my foyer to highlight my social status… Oh, my goodness gracious! You have terribly fine horns, don't you, you great thing?''"

==[[Torque (character)|Torque]]==
*"''Yeah, I'm Torque, and don't for a second think [[Luigi|this dude]]'s tellin' the whole story.''"
*"''The only reason I lent [[Luigi|him]] my rig was 'cause he got down on his knees and begged.''"
*"''And what happens? [[Luigi|He]]'s in it for one second before he completely totals it! Idiot!''"
*"''I'm not lettin' [[Luigi|this dip]] outta my sight until he repays me the 5,000-coin repair costs!''"

==[[Twilight Shop manager]]==
*"''You cad! Why were you... in here while... I was gone? Answer me! Perhaps... I don't want... to know... No! I do! Tell me! Be honest! It's MY shop! She's MY wife! I don't wanna... have to use... a ninja punch... to blast you... out of here! Now, speak!''"
*"''I collect the goods, and she sells 'em. Simple. A good shop, like a good marriage, is dependant'' (GCN) / ''dependent'' (Switch) ''on teamwork, my friend! So show your support and buy something!''"

==[[Twilight Shop manager's wife]]==
In the Switch version, "Sniff" is always written as "*sniff*".
*"''Sniff... Sniff...''" (GCN)
**"''*sniff*... *sniff*...''" (Switch)
*"''Oh, a customer... Sniff... I'm sorry... We're not open right now. Sniff...''"
*"''Huh? Why am I crying? Sniff... My husband's been turned into a pig. A pig...''"
*"''Sniff... My husband went to the woods yesterday to collect herbs... But no husband came home... Instead, a pig returned! This pig!''"
*"''We got in a fight before he left, and I had called him a chauvinist pig... And now he really is a pig... Sniff...''"
*"''But he has a sweet side, too, like cooking my favorite food on my birthday, y'know? And when shoppers get rude, my husband escorts them out in such a manly way, y'know? He's just got so many wonderful things going for him, y'know? I wish he wouldn't dip into the till for cola money, but boys will be boys,'' (GCN) / ''that part of him really needs some work,'' (Switch) ''y'know? And I could really do without him drying his underwear on the radiator, y'know? And no matter how often I tell him, he drinks milk from the carton, y'know? I don't think it'd be tough for him to change his socks once in a while, y'know? But I have my faults too, y'know? Like, maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on him all the time, y'know? I should've told him how I felt about him when I could, y'know? Oh, how could he leave me and turn into a pig like this, y'know? ...Yeah.''"
*"''So, ummmmmmm... Are you even listening?''"
*"''So, hey... Could you figure out some way to restore my husband to normal? I'll do whatever I can to help. You can even take anything in the storeroom that might help you, y'know?''" (GCN)
**"''So, hey... Could you figure out some way to restore my husband to normal? I'll do whatever I can to help. You can even take whatever you want from the storeroom if it might help, y'know?''" (Switch)
*"''Please help me! You can even take anything in the storeroom that might help you restore my husband.''" (GCN)
**"''Please help me! You can even take whatever you want from the storeroom if it might help you restore my husband.''" (Switch)
*"''What's that? It's locked? My husband must've taken the key with him and lost it in the woods. Sniff...''" (GCN)
**"''What's that? The storeroom's locked? My husband must've taken the key with him and lost it in the woods. *sniff*...''" (Switch)
*"''Ah, you brought the key! Well, go ahead and open the storeroom, if you want. Feel free to take whatever you want out of there. That's a good trade for getting my husband back, I think.''" (GCN)
**"''Ah, you brought the key! Well, go ahead and open the storeroom, if you want. Feel free to take whatever you want out of there as well. That's a good trade for getting my husband back, I think.''" (Switch)
*"''You opened the storeroom, I see. Me, I have to get the store ready for business. I sure wish I had my husband back in normal form to help me run the place, y'know?''" (GCN)
**"''You opened the storeroom, I see. Feel free to take whatever you want out of there. That's a good trade for a chance to get my husband back, I think. No sense in fretting though. I should get the store ready for business. I sure wish I had my husband back in normal form to help me run the place, y'know?''" (Switch)
*"''Oh, please help my husband return to normal form so he can help me run the place... Sniff...''"
*"''Oh, this is awkward... I guess that pig wasn't my husband at all. This guy is younger and cuter than my husband, actually... What a strapping fellow... Perhaps it's time I traded in for a new husband! Oh, I'm only fooling!''" (GCN)
**"''Oh, this is awkward... That pig wasn't my husband after all. This guy is younger and kind of handsome. What a strapping fellow... Perhaps it's time I traded in for a new husband! Oh, I'm only fooling!''" (Switch)

==[[Vinny]]==
*"''Dis is da office of da Pianta syndicate, ya dip. Don't tell me you didn't know dat!''"
*"''You want I should run dis bum out on a rail, Boss? Lookit him! Whadda rube!''"
*"''Da...Crystal Stars? Hey, Boss! Ain't dose things in dat legend 'bout da ancient treasure?''"
*"''Boss! We don't know nothin' about dis guy. You can't rely on some goofball for dis job!''"
*"''No, Boss. Whatever you say goes, Boss.''"
*"''What Don Pianta says, goes... But it'd be just swell if Francesca was happy, too.''"
*"''Da boss is sorta depressed right now, but I'm sure he'll get better soon, ya know?''"
*"''But hey, enough about dat. Didn't you say you wanted a ticket for da blimp?''"
*"''No matter what he says, da boss was actually worried 'bout Francesca.''"
*"''Hey! If it ain't da guys from before! You need to meet wit' da boss once again, eh?''"
*"''Aww... Poor Boss... Da big man's been sick wit' loneliness ever since his daughter skedaddled.''"
*"''Whah? Tickets for da ritziest train around? For da Excess Express?''"
*"''Oooooh... Ain't nothin' we can do about dat.''"
*"''I just can't stand seein' da boss like dis...''"
*"''Who's on da what, now? What did you just say? Repeat dat.''"
*"''Really?!? No lie?!?''"
*"''Well, if dat's where she is, why don'tcha bring her back here, huh? Be a pal! We'd go ourselves, but we can't leave da boss unprotected, you get me?''"
*"''Whah? WHAT did you say?!? I thought we were like family! Dis is how you treat family?!?''"
*"''See! Now dat's better.''"
*"''Yeah! Go get us Miss Pianta. And be quick about it, else we might get...antsy.''"
*"''Da boss's condition has gotten much worse since his daughter went to dat island.''"
*"''Ever since you left for da island, da boss's condition just kept gettin' worse.''"
*"''It can't be!''"
*"''Yeah... Uh, about dat, Boss...''"
*"''Whoa...''"
*"''Underboss... Uh, errrr, I mean...Boss! You got our loyalty!''"
*"''You ain't bad, kiddo.''"
*"'Hey! You again! How's tricks? Don't be afraid to show your face around here, pal! Da boss, he kinda likes you for some reason!''"
*"''We're gonna support our bruddah... I mean, our new boss! Yeah, dat's it!''"
*"''Oh! Hey! It's you! A new era has begun for da great Pianta syndicate... Let da good times roll!''"
*"''Oh! Hey! It's you! How's about my bruddah... I mean, my new boss! So? You think he's a good boss or whah?''"
*"''Oh! Hey! It's you! Somethin' tells me I can't just call you "you," anymore. You're Mario, after all! Da guy what saved the world! I'm honored just to know you!''"

==[[Vivian]]==
*"''Mm-hmm! A) Find that [[Mario]] guy and B) steal the [[Magical Map|map]] to the [[Crystal Stars]], right? We can just do away with Mario and his friends, can't we? Or is that bad?''"
*"''Isn't it a gorgeous necklace? It was so lovely... I just HAD to pick it up! ♥''"
*"''[[Beldam]]! I TOLD you! Blaming me for losing the sketch...and YOU had it!''"
*"''I... I never had it! You were holding it just two seconds ago!''"
*"''You said it was too important to trust me with!''"
*"''I... No, of course not, Beldam...''"
*"''Truth is, it took me a while to realize I was their sister… not their brother. Now their usual bullying feels heavier." (Switch)
*"''[[Mario]]! I'm fighting by your side from now on! I've made my choice... and I'm not turning back!''"
*"''How nice! Now we can go to Poshley Heights, right? We'd better hurry up and find that sixth Crystal Star.''"
*"''Eep! [[Beldam]]!''"
*"''Oh, [[Mario]]! She's serious! We need to get to [[Poshley Heights]] before her! We have to go to Rogueport Station, NOW!''"
*"''Wow! The [[Excess Express]]! This is really nice, [[Mario]]! The three days to [[Poshley Heights]] are going to seem like nothing!''"
*"''Huh? Mario, there's something lying on the floor, I think. I didn't notice it before…''"
*"''Oh, no, a…weird…threat! Could it be Beldam's work? My sister IS a weird one… Whoever it is, it's obvious that they're on this train somewhere, right? We have to find who's responsible before anything crazy (GCN) / bad (Switch) happens!''"
*"''Another document from the briefcase! The suspect must be in here somewhere…''"
*"''Oh… Talk about bad luck! What should we do?''"
*"''Uh…what? You live here? So YOU'RE the Sanctum Manager? But I thought you were a detective!''"
*"''Oh, no! We're too late!!! We have to go after them!''"
*"''Huh?!? [[Professor Frankly]]?!? What are YOU doing here?!?''"
*"''Sis?!? H-How are you! And what do you mean about us opening the door for you?''"
*"''I'm with [[Mario]] all the way! Today, Sis…I'm going to punish YOU, you hear me?''"
*"''I'm sorry, Sis…''"
*"''Mario, I will follow you to the end, I swear it! I feel bad for the princess, but that [[Shadow Queen|queen]] must fall before us! And when she does, you and I can... Well, anyway, let's take this fight to her!''"
*"''Uhhhh... Mario... I... I feel... I feel like I've grown to lo–- Uh, yeah, um, never mind... ...Y-Yeah, I sure do think you and Peach make a nice couple... Hmm hmm hmm... ''" 
*"''I... I'll never forget my time traveling with you. So... don't forget about me, either...''"
*"''You're not really doing much to impress me either, bud!''"
*"''Wow! What a grouch!''"
*"''Yeah! Let's do it, Mario! No forgiveness! No mercy!''"
*"''You’re about to have a really terrible experience!''"
*"''Looks like we overdid it a little bit, Are they OK?''"
*"''That was a piece of cake, huh, Mario?''"

==[[X-Naut]]s==
*"''As you command, [[Lord Crump]]! We're on it!''"
*"''O great, exalted [[Sir Grodus|Grodus]]! We brought you the [[Princess Peach]] you ordered, sir!''"
*"''You rang, dude? I mean, sir? You rang, [[Sir Grodus]], dude? Grodus? Sir Grodus, sir?"''
*"''No joke, dude. I mean, affirmative, Sir Dude. That is... I'm positive, sir!''"

==[[Yoshi Kid|Yoshi]]==
*"''Yo!''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Check me out! Thanks to you, I hatched safe and sound! Thanks, man!''"
*"''Yeah, but who cares? You guys wanna be champs, right? You want a [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]? I heard all about it while I was in the egg! Yeah! Anyway, I gotta repay you for saving me from old [[Mr. Hoggle|Hoggle]] out there, so I'll fight for you! I can hold my own! I'll swallow any opponent whole, honest! Just leave it to me!''"
*"''Huh? My name? Lessee... I just came outta that egg, so I guess I don't have a name yet. You seem fired up about it, so why don't you gimme one? Make it cool, OK?''"
*"''Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... (Name Entered), huh? Not too bad, dude. Not too bad at all. Yeah... I like it. OK, [[Mario|Gonzales]]... Let's get out there and do some damage!''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Lemme at 'em! We're gonna take these punks this time!''"
*"''What's the deal? Would it kill these guys to show a little friendliness? Sheesh!''"
*"''What's your deal, [[Mario|Gonzales]]? Huh? Oh! The [[Champ's Belt|champ's belt]]...''"
*"''I'm not sure, but [[Gold Star|it]] definitely looks weird. I think you're right, [[Mario|Gonzales]]. FAKE!''"
*"''Whoa, sorry, [[Rawk Hawk|yellow dude]]! I didn't mean to rip on your big, bad [[Champ's Belt|belt]]!''"
*"''Wow, I really pushed [[Rawk Hawk|that dude's]] buttons, huh?''"
*"''Well, forget [[Rawk Hawk|him]]! We got a problem! Your [[Magical Map|map]] pointed to [[Glitzville]], right? If that dude's [[Champ's Belt|belt]] has a FAKE [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]] on it... Then where the heck is the real one at?''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Was that your [[Mailbox SP]] going off? Who'd [[Mario|you]] get e-mail from?''"
*"''Who the heck is this [[Jolene|X]] dude? He talks like he's the man to see about that [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]. Why would he wanna help us out, though? This whole deal seems kinda wack...''"
*"''Lemme at 'em! Yeah! Bring it! You ready for a beating?''"
*"''You think you can take me and [[Mario|Gonzales]]? HA!''"
*"''Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How'd that floor taste?''"
*"''That all you got?''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! You hear that? You just got another e-mail! See what it is, man!''"
*"''It's from our mystery [[Jolene|X]] dude? Go to some "watering hole", huh? OK, whatever! I'd give anything to know who this dude is.''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! E-mail time!''"
*"''The blockade in the minor-league locker room", huh? Wonder what's behind it...''"
*"''Whoa, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! That's some kinda [[Dubious Documents|scientific paper]] on the [[Crystal Stars]]! Who'd be investigating those besides us? They even took pictures!''"
*"''Who'd leave something like [[Dubious Documents|this]] lying around? This is just REEKS of funny business!''"
*"''Dang, what's with [[Jolene|her]]?!? We busted our humps getting that information!''"
*"''Some people just gotta rain on parades! Well, at least we know the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star's]] here!''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Another e-mail?!? What now?''"
*"''Man, THAT dude sounds peeved! I'm thinking that isn't our [[Jolene|X]] buddy. Who do [[Mario|you]] think would send something like that?''"
*"''Man, [[Cake|that]] looks AWESOME! I'm drooling!''"
**(Eat)
**"''Yeah! Let's chow down!''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''What’s up with you, Gonzales? Who says no to free cake? You’re insane!''"
*"''Wow! That was the [[Bowser|king of the Koopas]], wasn't it? WOW! [[Bowser|That guy's]] insane!''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Sounds like another mail, huh?''"
*"''Old [[Jolene|X]] dude surfaced again! We gotta go to some phone booth outside now? Where was that thing? Aw, we'll find it. Let's head outside!''"
*"''You, you BETTER keep walking, you punk chicken! YOU HEAR ME TALKING?!? Hey! Wait! I wonder... You think [[Rawk Hawk|THAT idiot]] sent us that hate mail? I guess it doesn't matter. SOMEBODY hates us so we better watch our steps.''"
*"''What the heck is this guy's problem? The storage room? I mean... Does he think we need the exercise? This dude is really cheesing me off.''"
*"''Are [[Ms. Mowz|you]] a friend of [[Mario|Gonzales]]? I didn't know [[Mario|he]] hung with crooks...and [[Ms. Mowz|you]] look like one. [[Glitz Pit Security|Security]] was talking about noises in here... Did [[Ms. Mowz|you]] make noise while [[Ms. Mowz|you]] stole stuff?''"
*"''Well, whatever, [[Ms. Mowz|lady]]... But [[Ms. Mowz|you]] ARE a thief, right?''"
*"''Is that what's called a kiss? I heard about those things! [[Yoshi Kid|I'm]] jealous! Only [[Mario|you]] get it?''"
*"''Well, [[Ms. Mowz|she]] took off, huh? What was that kiss like? I gotta get me one of those... Hey, but what do [[Mario|you]] think [[Ms. Mowz|she]] meant about somebody being upstairs, huh?''"
*"''The staircase switch"? How the heck could there be a staircase in here?''"
*"''Whoa, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! WHOA! Did [[Mario|you]] hear that?!? Fighters are going missing, dude! That ain't cool! Was [[Grubba|that guy]] talking about [[King K]], the minor-leaguer? I thought he retired!''"
*"''Whoa! Whoa, man! We dodged a bullet there! Hey, but did you hear [[Grubba|that guy]] blabbing about the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]? That [[Jolene]] lady acted pretty guilty when [[Grubba|he]] let that one slip out... Well, whatever. For now, we better bail before somebody finds us up here!''"
*"''This guy really needs to take a chill pill. He sure knows a lot, though... He's going on about the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]], the missing fighters, all that stuff... I tell [[Mario|you]] what, we find this guy, we'll have all the answers we need! But who is this psycho?''"
*"''Whoa! Free cake is where it’s AT! Let’s chow down!''"
**(Eat)
**"''YESSSS! Lemme at it!''"
**"''Now that is a CAKE, baby! Gimme two seconds here… There’s some left for you…''"
**"''Urk! Hey! What the heck! I’m going numb, dude!''"
**"''Boy, I’m FINALLY feeling OK! You didn’t need me anyway, Gonzales! You rocked them! Still… A poisoned cake… Someone wanted to toast us. We better watch our fronts AND backs from now on!''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''[[Mario|Gonzales]], you’re nuts! Who says no to free cake? Did you hit your head?''"
**"''By the way, [[Mario|Gonzales]]... You see the [[Shady Koopa|dude]] on the floor back here?''"
**"''Was that cake poisoned? Yeah! It must've been! If we'd eaten it, we'd be all banged up like that guy!''"
*"''Ding ding ding! Mail call! [[Mario|You]] think it's from our pal or the guy who hates us?''"
*"''From [[Jolene|X]] this time, huh? That guy still sounds like a nut, but hey, he's all we got! What's he want us to do, again? Peel off [[Mario|your]] posters in the lobby? Sounds good to me. Let's hit the lobby.''"
*"''Whoa! Where do you think THAT key goes?''"
*"''WHOOOOOOAAAAA! You gotta be kidding me! [[Bandy Andy]]! And [[King K]]!''"
*"''C'mon, shake it off, [[Bandy Andy|buddy]]! What do [[Bandy Andy|you]] mean, don't go near the ring?''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! You see that?!? That was [[Jolene]]! This is craziness! What is going ON in here?''"
*"''Hold up, [[Glitz Pit Security|dude]]! Where are [[Glitz Pit Security|you]] heading? That ain't the way to the arena!''"
*"''Hey, hold it, [[Glitz Pit Security|meathead]]! This doesn't seem right...''"
*"''Hey! This ain't the ring! It's a minor-league locker room! And it's empty! [[Glitz Pit Security|That guy]] said to wait... But, [[Mario|dude]], we're missing our title bout! This stinks!''"
*"''OK, that is IT! Nobody's coming for us, [[Mario|man]]! Hear me? Let's go kick some tail!''"
*"''Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... WEAK! Some punk's locked us in! We're trapped in here!''"
*"''[[Mario|Man]], this is the WORST! We're gonna forfeit our match if we don't show! We gotta break outta here, [[Mario|man]]! Right now!''"
*"''Crud! It still won’t open!''"
*"''Rats! Locked! They thought of EVERYTHING!''"
*"''Dude, I have got SO much respect for plumbers now! Now let's get [[Rawk Hawk]]!''"
*"''Looks like we made it, [[Mario|dude]]! And the crowd is LOVING US! We are STARS, baby! Come on, let's go lay the smack down on that big [[Rawk Hawk|chicken]]!''"
*"''All right, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! We're fighting the [[Rawk Hawk|champ]]! I'M...SO...FIRED...UP!''"
*"''What kind of trash-talking are [[Rawk Hawk|you]] doing now? Wait... Did [[Rawk Hawk|YOU]] get that [[Glitz Pit Security|security guard]] to lock us in the locker room?''"
*"''So [[Rawk Hawk|YOU'RE]] the coward who's been sending nasty e-mails about the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]!''"
*"''YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! We finally made it, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! But... Y'know, [[Rawk Hawk]] really sounded clueless about the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]... We still don't have any leads on that thing. I mean, where the heck could [[Gold Star|it]] be?''"
*"''Hang on, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! You hear that? A voice is coming from somewhere!''"
*"''You think it's...a ghost?''"
*"''H-H-H-Hey! Do [[Mario|you]] HAVE to have [[Mailbox SP|that thing]] turned up? [[Mailbox SP|That]] scared me silly!''"
*"''There's actually a ghost in here? OK, that is NOT cool! Ghosts are scary!''"
*"''We're in the air duct, right? Where does it lead?''"
*"''That voice... It's [[Grubba]]! So [[Grubba|HE'S]] behind all those missing fighters?''"
*"''I think [[Grubba|he's]] gone... Let's check out that desk drawer of [[Grubba|his]]...''"
*"''Whoa! Bingo! I bet that's the [[Dubious Documents|paper]] ol' [[Grubba]] hid! Check it out, [[Mario]]!''"
*"''Yow! A machine under the ring using a [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]? These are the blueprints! I dunno what the rest of this nerd-talk says, but I think the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]] powers it! If this paper's right, then the machine can suck the power out of people! Yuck! Oh, crud... You think that [[King K]] and [[Bandy Andy|Bandy Andy]] got all...drained or something?''"
*"''Shut up! [[Grubba|You]] make me sick! Why'd you drain [[King K]] and [[Bandy Andy]], huh?!?''"
*"''After [[Grubba|him]], [[Mario|Gonzales]]!''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Up there! That's the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]], right?''"
*"''[[Grubba|You]] are such a scumbag! [[Grubba|You're]] gonna pay for using a [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]] like that!''"
*"''Yow! [[Grubba]] beefed up!''"
*"''Let's rock, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! I'm ready to chew [[Macho Grubba|this dude]] up and spit him out!''"
*"''[[Jolene]]!''"
*"''Ah-ha! So, our X buddy was...''"
*"''Boy, I thought [[Jolene|she]] was kinda mean, but it turns out [[Jolene|she]] was just worried for her [[Prince Mush|brother]]!''"
*"''Wow! Check it out, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! The [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]!''"
*"''Is THAT what [[Crystal Stars]] can do?''"
*"''Whoa! Are [[Jolene|you]] sure? It's OK if we just take [[Gold Star|it]]?''"
*"''It's all you, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! Nab [[Gold Star|it]], [[Mario|dude]]!''"
*"''Sweet! Another Crystal Star! That’s three, right? We’d better roll back to Rogueport, don’t you think?''"
*"''Gonzales! You got an e-mail!''"
*"''Those dudes wanna rule the world? That would stink!''"
*"''Whoa, come on! [[Doopliss|THIS]] is the monster the [[Dour|mayor]] was freaking out about?''"
*"'''Big deal'?!? You stink, Mister! Why'd you wanna turn [[Twilighter|them]] into pigs, anyway?''"
*"''Yeah, this is [[Creepy Steeple]]. That nasty monster's place...This place wigs me out...''"
*"''Look, Gonzales, let's just get that Crystal Star and get out of here, FAST!''"
*"''So, who's [[Vivian|this girl]], huh? Isn't she one of the [[Three Shadows|Shadow Sirens]] you guys mentioned? But why would Gonzales pair up with one of those creeps?''"
*"''Hey! [[Mario|Gonzales]]! I think Bobbery's just sleeping! Yeah!''"
*"''[[Admiral Bobbery|He]] IS! And here I was, getting all choked up! Give him a wake-up whack!''"
*"''Not quite with it yet, huh?''"
*"''Hey, you're still alve, you nutcase!''"
*"''Ugh, this place gives me the creeps. Is this Twilight Town?''"
*"''Y'know... That curse dude ain't half bad.''"
*"''Whoa, that freaky voice is making noise again... The ghosts must be nearby...''"
*"''Yeah! Yeah! We whipped [[Lord Crump|him]]! That loser won't get in our face for a while, for SURE!''"
*"''They're gonna do all right [[Keelhaul Key|here]], I think. Yeah. Let's break out, [[Mario]].''"
*"''OK, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! That's our cue! Let's break out of here and head for [[The Thousand-Year Door|the door]]!
*"''Whoa, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! What in the world are these [[Smorg|little monsters]]?''"
*"''[[Mario|You]] think these [[Smorg|weirdos]] flipped the switch?''"
*"''Let's hurry up and find it so we can switch it back!''"
*"''Boy... Are [[Chef Shimi|you]] really sure... those aren't poisonous?''"
*"''Woo hoo! Tomorrow is finally [[Poshley Heights]] day!''"
*"''We've gotta get the [[Garnet Star|Crystal Star]] before those other goons, no matter what!''"
*"''Let's catch some Z's before the big day, huh?''"
*"''Whoa, aren't those the [[Smorg|things]] from the [[Riverside Station|station]] yesterday? They must've stowed away!''"
*"''Those [[Smorg|little monsters]] are inside the [[Excess Express|train]] now! Let's get 'em!''"
*"''What IS that [[Smorg|gnarly thing]]?''"
*"''...Whoa! Gonzales, look! [[Smorg|It's]] got the other passengers!''"
*"''Boy! This is darn cold! Where is this place, anyway?''"
*"''Whoa! We're using a cannon to blast ourselves to the moon? YEAH! EXTREEEEME!''"
*"''This is gonna be so COOOOL! Just point the way! Where is this [[Fahr Outpost]]?''"
*"''An [[Ultra Hammer]]?!? Hey! Right ON! We already got one of those!''"
*"''Yeah! You got it, [[Professor Frankly|Prof]]! [[Fahr Outpost]]! Chaaaarge!''"
*"''So this is [[Fahr Outpost|the place]], huh? Where's this [[Big Bob|cannon]] that can shoot to the moon?''"
*"''Let's chat up some of these locals and see what they have to say, OK?''"
*"''It's stupid cold!''"
*"''[[Mario]], check that out!''"
*"''Yeah! We did it, [[Mario|Gonzales]]!''"
*"''WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAA!''"
*"''Whoa! That was AWESOME!''"
*"''Man, who knew adventurers got to do stuff like THAT?''"
*"''Whoa! We're really, truly, no-fooling on the [[moon]]!''"
*"''Let's rock out, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! Let's find the last [[Crystal Star]] and save [[Princess Peach|Peach]]!''"
*"''Whoa! Look! [[Thousand–Year Door|The door]]!!!''"
*"''Let's rock, [[Mario|Gonzales]]!!!''"
*"''Whoa, [[Palace of Shadow|this place]] is nasty... but we don't have a choice!''"
*"''We've gotta cruise through and save [[Princess Peach|Peach]] before this whole cataclysm happens! C'mon, [[Mario|Gonzales]]!''"
*"''Opening [[Thousand–Year Door|the door]] for you? What's THAT supposed to mean, [[Beldam|you purple witch]]?''"
*"''No way we go down, [[Beldam|sister]]! You want a piece of this? Bring it on!''"
*"''Let's leave [[Three Shadows|these wusses]], Gonzales...''"
*"''So, [[Grodus|this loser]] is the leader of those [[X-Naut]]s?''"
*"''So, that last [[Crystal Star]] we got on the [[Moon]]... NO! We're IDIOTS!''"
*"''Not gonna happen, pal!''"
*"''Gonzales serves nobody, lady! Right, Gonzales?''"
*"''Gonzales, we're not REAL champs, unless we beat this [[Shadow Queen|evil lady]]! So don't go soft on me! That's not [[Princess Peach|Peach]], you know!''"
*"''Oh, haven't you heard, lady? Champs NEVER give up!''"
*"''Do you hear them, Gonzales? So many voices...''"
*"''They're... They're sending us all their wishes and positive energy... That is so AWESOME!''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Look at THAT!!!''"
*"''Whoa... What IS this? I feel insanely pumped with energy all of a sudden!''"
*"''[[Mario|Gonzales]]! Now's the time! We've got her scared!''"
*"''Now THAT'S what I'm talking about, baby! And now, it's time to settle the score!''"
*"''Time for payback!''"
*"''Gonzales... No, wait. I've gotta stop doing that. It's MARIO, right? Well, you'll always be Gonzales to me, man! Because I was born in the [[Glitz Pit]], and the Great Gonzales is, and always will be, the champ. So, let's meet again, Gonzales! I mean it, man!''"
*"''Hey, take a long walk off a short pier, you dork! Who'd date you, anyway?''"
*"''Whoa! What a psycho (GCN) / monster (Switch)!''"
*"''Yoshi! I'm Hungry!!! GIMMIE FOOD!!!!!!!''"

==[[Zess T.]]==
*"''You two! Not another step! Don't come this way!!!''"
*"''Some complete JERK just bumped into me and made me lose a contact lens! I'm looking for it right now, so DON'T YOU DARE MOVE!!!''"
*"''You hear me? Whatever you do, do NOT move an INCH! NOT AN INCH, YOU HEAR?!?''"
*"''I TOLD [[Mario|YOU]] NOT TO MOVE! DON'T YOUR STUPID EARS WORK?!?''"
*"''This is your fault! Now I have to buy a new contact lens! But YOU'RE gonna pay for it! Compensate me, Mr. Clumsy!''"
*"''No! Look, I'm not letting you into the west part of town until you buy me a new lens!''"
*"''Sorry, but end of story. I can't cook anything without my contact lenses in!''"
*"''AAAAAAA! My rage is so hot right now, I could cook YOU in it!''"
*"''Hey, Mr. Contact-Smoosher! Listen to this… I got the lowdown on a book that can turn anyone into a master chef! I went to the Trouble Center in the east port of town and recruited someone to find it. If you like helping folks out, you oughta swing by there. I'll reward you! So anyway… Did you need me to cook something for you, Dr. Bumblefoot?''"
*"''What's wrong with spending time with my [[Toadsworth|little  Toadle-toes]]?''"
*"''Sorry to keep you waiting! I'm not entirely sure you'll like this, but... Go on! Take it, Stompy!''"
*"''Anytime you feel like it, feel free to bring me stuff to cook with, OK?''"
*"''I've got it now! Just glaze a Mushroom with Honey Syrup…for a yummy Honey Shroom! Brilliant! Now I can use recipes that require two ingredients! Now that's SOME book… Talk about effective! Thanks, Mr. Staggers! Take this as your reward! …Or I COULD have given you a reward, but you have too much stuff! I'll just leave it here, so grab it whenever!''"

{{Quotes}}
{{PMTTYD}}
[[Category:Quotes|Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes by character (S–Z)]]
[[Category:Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door|*]]