Editing List of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes by character (G–K)

{{italic title|List of ''Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door'' quotes by character (G–K)}}
{{main|List of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes}}

This is a list of quotes from ''[[Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door]]'' and its [[Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (Nintendo Switch)|Nintendo Switch remake]] by character (G–K).

==[[Garf]]==
*"''You took on my trouble? [[Mario|You]]? OK. Then please find my [[House Key (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|key]], and be quick about it!''"
*"''If someone else finds my key, they'll be able to get in my house, so I'll stand guard.''"
*"''I think I dropped my key when I went to the [[Lovely Howz of Badges|badge shop]], but I'm not sure...''"
*"''Did you find my key?''"
*"''Yes! My key!!!''"
*"''I can finally get inside my house again! Home, sweet home! Thank you!''"
*"''Please take this as payment for your efforts, all right?''"

==[[General White]]==
*"''Hut! I am General White. I am a [[Bob-omb]]! And I have lost my hopes and dreams.''"
*"''I live in solitude, always. I must apologize, but I ask that you leave me alone.''"
*"''My heart has grown cold... I must apologize, but I ask that you leave me alone.''"
*"''Does life have a purpose? I must apologize, but I ask that you leave me alone.''"
*"''I don't care what I do... I just want to help people. Is that so wrong?''"
*"''Now get moving! Hut-hut!''"
*"''Hut! Leave it to me!''"
*"''Now, men! You know the drill! Load the big bomb cannon!'' (GCN) / ''Load [[Big Bob]]!'' (Switch)"
*"''Bring guidance system online!''"
*"''System check!''"
*"''Prepare for detonation sequence!''"
*"''Open outer hatch!''"
*"''Open inner shutter!''"
*"''Elevate! On my mark!''"
*"''Sighting! Target is the moon!''"
*"''Target locked! Chamber hatch open!''"
*"''Close chamber hatch!''"
*"''Conditions all green! Standby... OK!''"

==[[Ghost T.]]==
*"''...So you've found me. Well, as you see, I'm a ghost. I'm cursed to haunt this place. A blanket? Well, yes, the conductor did leave one here. He didn't realize that I'm a ghost. A yummy, sticky threat? No, I left no such thing. I can't even hold physical objects like pen and paper. What? You just want the blanket, then? Well, I'll tell you where it is if you do something for me. What do you say?''"
**(Fine!)
**"''All I need is......YOOOOOUR LIIIIFE!!! ...No, just kidding... Actually… I passed away in this cabin many years ago… But I think my luggage is still in my baggage car here… Inside my bag is a diary I kept since my earliest childhood days… And my fear that someone would find and read it has kept me tied to this world! I can't leave this room, so can you please find it and bring it here? If you do that, I'll show you where the blanket is.''"
*"''Oh, so you'll help me, then?''"
**(I don't help ghosts.)
**"''I see… That is your choice. But then I can't tell you where the blanket is.''"
*"''And don't you even DARE read my diary!!! Because if you do… Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoooooo… A horrible fate awaits you.''"
*"''YOOOOOOUUUU LOOOOOOKED! EEEEEEVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOOOOOUUU NOT TOOOOOOO! NOW SEEEE WHAT HAPPENS!''"
*"''It seems that there is someone in your room. I heard some rustling sounds in there a minute ago.''"
*"''I sense the presence of a large crowd of...[[Smorg|something]]...''"

==[[Glitzville reporter]]==
*"''Yo! Outta the way, pal! I don't do stories on nobodies, sorry! Move it or lose it!''"
*"''Huh? The Great Gonzales? I don't cover minor-leaguers. Clear outta the way!''"
*"''Huh? The Great Gonzales? You're a minor-leaguer and your nickname is 'Great'? Ha!''"
*"''Yo! Yo! Great Gonzales! Two questions! How are you feeling today, and if you were a soda pop, what flavor would you be?''"
*"''Yo! Yo! Great Gonzales! Two questions! How's your mind state, and if you were a jungle animal, what noise would you make?''"
*"''Congrats, Great Gonzales! You finally got your mitts on that championship belt! If winning the championship is like a snack dip, what kind of tasty chip are you?''"
*"''Champion! ...Er, or, I mean... Former champion Gonzales! Why'd you give up the belt? If giving up the belt is like a water slide, what kind of swim trunks do you wear?''"
*"''Yo! Yo! Great Gonzales! I hear you've thrown your hat back into the fighting ring! If your comeback is like a robot convention, are you an android or a cyborg?''"
*"''Hooray for Great Gonzales! A valiant comeback, and once more you reign as champ! If regaining the belt is like a soup, what delicious ingredient are you?''"
*"''Yo! Yo! If you were a video-game hero, which hero would you be?''"

==[[Gloomer]]==
*"''Uh, what? A guy with a red cap and some blue overalls? That sounds familiar... C'mon, brain! Oh, yeah! That's Mario! He's this adventurer who saved our village. Are you an adventurer, too? ...I like adventures...''"
*"''You know, I always used to love pork chops, but now I think about the poor pig... Hmmm... Hey! You don't think maybe I was a pig in a past life, do you? What a concept!''"
*"''Ah... You, uh... You... You're Mario, our hero! Yahoo for you! Mario! ...It'd be awesome if someone said that about you, huh? Yeah, that'd be sweet.''"

==[[Gloomtail]]==
*"''No one's disturbed me here in aeons!''"
*"''Who dares defile [[Palace of Shadow|this sacred place]]?!?''"
*"''WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!? You destroyed [[Hooktail|my precious younger sister]]?!? I wondered why she hadn't written recently... Quake in fear, mortals! For I am Gloomtail! I will avenge my sister by taking your lives...and then gnawing on your bones!''"
*"''GWAAAAH HA HA HA HA! My first fresh meat in ages... Allow me to take my time... And toy with you for awhile!''"
*"''Is it...true? Can I... expire?"''

==[[Goldbob]]==
*"''Oh! Look! My heart trembles! The fountain… So elegant! This is art at its finest!''"
*"''Yes, dearest. One cannot measure its worth by coins. That is what makes art, art. And yet…the filthy rich always seek to define art with their ill-gotten coins…''"

==[[Gold Fuzzy]]==
*"''Meeeeeeeeeeeork!''"
*"''Hey, you suspicious types!''"
*"''This is our [[Shhwonk Fortress|place]]. And coming in here is rude, rude, RUDE!''"
*"''Sorry, suckers! If you want a warm welcome, too bad!''"
*"''Now I lunch on your head!''"
*"''Meee-OOOF! Hey! Ow! You chumps are tougher than you look...''"
*"''But I'm not through yet! [[Fuzzy Horde|Everyone]]! GET 'EM!!!''"
*"''Meeeeeeee-uuuuurgh! You got me!''"

==[[Goomba]]==
*"''Hey! Hey, [[Mario|man]]! What's up? Who's [[Goombella|the hottie]] you got there with you?
*"''Ouch! That was cold!''"
*"''Oweeeeeeeeeeeeee!''"
*"''Who is this [[Mario|Gonzales]] rookie? A cocky idiot, that's who! Waiting just makes us mad!''"
*"''Remember guys, we're Bros.! If we combine out strength, we'll ruin anybody!''"
*"''Awww, poor little rookie! You didn't really think you could beat us, did you?! Pro battling isn't easy! Go wash that mustache and come back sometime! Ha!''"

==[[Goombella]]==
{{main|List of Goombella quotes}}
*"''You aren't going anywhere, [[Lord Crump|Mr. Stinker]]!''"
*"''Hey! What do you want?!? Get away from me, [[Lord Crump|freak]]!!!''"
*"''Never! I don't have anything to say to [[X-Nauts (organization)|you creeps]]! Eww!''"
*"''N–No! Stop right there, you weirdos! I'll scream! Really!''"
*"''Like I'd go anywhere with smelly lunatics (GCN) / losers (Switch) like [[X-Nauts (organization)|you]]! Hmph! Not likely!''"
*"''Battle time, [[Mario|Mister Man]]! Just find a way to beat this [[Lord Crump|freak of the week]], OK? Don't sweat the details. Just jump on him and hit him with your hammer!''"
*"''Yes! [[Mario|You]]'re doing awesome! Don't you let up!''"
*"''Sweet! [[Mario|You]] KNOW that hurt! Wow, I gotta say, you're tougher than you look. Keep it up and you'll beat [[Lord Crump|him]] in no time!''"
*"''[[Mario|You]]'ve got [[Lord Crump|him]] on the ropes! C'mon! Keep whaling on him!''"
*"''[[Mario|You]] did it! You did it! YESSS! And you got [[Star Point|Star Points]]!!!''"
*"''Yeah, I bet [[Mario|you]] know, but you get these things called Star Points when you win battles. When you get 100 points, you'll go up a level. Don't forget that, OK?''"
*"''Quick! This way!''"
*"''Phew! What a bunch of [[X-Nauts (organization)|loons]] (GCN) / bozos (Switch)! Let's just sneak out of here, what do you say?''"
*"''Wow, [[Mario|Mister]]! You...totally saved me! Thanks! I have just GOT to give you a little reward!''"
*"''My name's Goombella. I'm a student (GCN) / junior (Switch) at the [[University of Goom]]. Nice to meet ya!''"
*"''So, uh... Who are [[Mario|you]]?''"
*"''...Mario? Wait, [[Mario|you]] mean, like, that famous guy? Wow! I can't believe I met you [[Rogueport|here]]!''"
*"''Cool... Anyway, no offense, but it looks like [[Mario|you]] just rolled into town yourself. Right?''"
*"''Me, I already HATE it [[Rogueport|here]]! There are freaks and weirdos EVERYWHERE! It's nasty! I mean, I know the place is called Rogueport, so I should have expected it, but sheesh!''"
*"''I'd never come to a place like [[Rogueport|this]] if there weren't some legendary treasure here.''"
*"''What? [[Mario|You]]'re looking for the legendary treasure, too? Seriously?''"
*"''Whoa whoa WHOA, [[Mario|bucko]]! Whatcha got there?''"
*"''Omigosh! Is… Isn't that a treasure map?! You HAVE to tell me where you got that!''"
*"''...[[Princess Peach]]? What?''"
*"''Um... [[Princess Peach]]? Did [[Toadsworth|he]] mean, like, Peach, the [[Mushroom Kingdom]] princess?!? The princess who always gets nabbed by [[Bowser]], the Koopa king? The one [[Mario|you]] rescue?''"
*"''Wait a sec'! This is crazy (GCN) / wild (Switch)! Princess...PEACH sent [[Mario|you]] that treasure map?''"
*"''Whoa. This really intense. Well, where could [[Princess Peach|she]] have gone, then, do [[Mario|you]] think? You think maybe she got sick of waiting and went to find the treasure on her own?''"
*"''Oooh! Oooh! I know, Mario! Come with me! One of my professors is here researching that treasure. We'll him show him your map!''"
*"''If we start looking for the treasure, then maybe we'll catch up to Princess Peach!''"
*"''Great! We're all good, then! Let's go, Mario!''"
*"''This is [[Rogueport|Rogueport Plaza]]. It's the center of town, and the main business district. It's a crossroads where many people meet, including more than a few shady characters.''"
*"''Anytime you press {{button|gcn|X}} when there's no one around, I'll tell you about where we are!''"
*"''That's [[Goomther]] the [[Goomba]]. He's always complaining about being swindled or mugged...''"
*"''If you press {{button|gcn|X}} when there's somebody nearby, I'll tell you about him or her!''"
*"''So? Did you get all that?''"
*"''First off, we gotta go find [[Professor Frankly|my professor]]. Thing is, since I just got to [[Rogueport|town]] myself...I, um, don't actually know where he lives.''"
*"''So keep an eye out! Here's what Professor Frankly looks like!''"
*"''Hey, by the way, Mario... Have you saved yet?''"
*"''[[Mario|You]] see that [[Save Block]] in front of that [[inn]]? Since we're here, you oughta save now. Just jump up and hit the block to save, OK?''"
*"''Hey! What's [[Bandit|your]] beef, pal? YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU!''"
*"''Mario! You gotta wake up! That guy just stole half of your [[coin]]s!''"
*"''That is SO lame! Ugh! I HATE [[Rogueport|this town]]!''"
*"''Oh, hi! There you are! Professor Frankly!''"
*"''Wow, yes, [[Professor Frankly|sir]]! That's me! I'm Goombella a junior at [[University of Goom|U Goom]]! Goooo GOOMBAS!''"
*"''Mario! [[Professor Frankly|Professor]], he's Mario! You know...the famous one!''"
*"''We were hoping [[Professor Frankly|you]]'d tell us about the legendary treasure said to be below [[Rogueport]]! I thought that if anyone knew anything about it, you would, [[Professor Frankly]]...''"
*''"Archaeologists and historians have to search for truth in those fairy tales, though!''"
*"''Me, I believe the legendary treasure truly does exist! And I REALLY want to find it!''"
*"'''To find the treasure of yore, take the seven [[Crystal Stars]] to [[the Thousand-Year Door]]!' ...You mean the Crystal Stars in that old saying that super-elderly people pass down?''"
*"'''Hold the [[Magical Map]] aloft before the entrance to the Thousand-Year Door. Then the stars will light the way that leads to the stones of yesterday.' Yeah...''"
*"''A lot of the lore I've read says that is this Magical Map is taken to the doorway...then it'll show you where to find the Crystal Stars!''"
*"''But we DO have it, [[Professor Frankly|Professor]]! Or... Well, not 'we,' exactly... MARIO has the Magical Map!''"
*"''Right on, [[Professor Frankly|Professor]]!''"
*"''Oh, it is, like, SO sweet that [[Goomba|you boys]] think I'm cute! Seriously! Yeah, guys like you make me feel like TOTALLY BARFING! Now get out of our way!''"
*"''Ha! Later on, losers! That felt AWESOME!''"
*"''Who knew the [[Rogueport Underground|area under Rogueport]] extended so far? This place is a total maze! You really feel the grandness of that ancient civilization when you're down here...''"
*"''Well, what do you think we oughta do, Mario?''"
*"''So, uh... Wow. Just wow. What was [[Black Chest Demon|THAT guy]]'s beef?''"
*"''Hey, what's the deal with this weird pedestal, huh? What could it be, you think?''"
*"''[[Professor Frankly|Professor]]! What's going on!''"
*"''[[Professor Frankly|Professor]]! The [[Magical Map|map]]!!! And what was with all those crazy (GCN) / strange (Switch) lights?''"
*"''You understand it, [[Professor Frankly|Professor]]?''"
*"''A special move?''"
*"''[[Petal Meadows]]?''"
*"''OK, fine. So we'll go [[Petal Meadows|there]]. Does anybody know how to get there or what?''"
*"''Y'know, [[Professor Frankly|Professor]], there was [[X-Nauts (organization)|another suspicious group]] asking about the same thing.''"
*"''Aren't you coming, [[Professor Frankly|Professor]]?''"
*"''You got it, [[Professor Frankly|Professor]]!''"
*"''Well, [[Mario]], we're off!''"
*"''Hey, [[Mario]]! You remember what [[Professor Frankly]] told us, right? You can press {{button|gcn|Y}} to change our attack order! If your HP drops, you can press {{button|gcn|Y}} to put me in front!''"
*"''Well, here we are! The [[Petal Meadows]], where folks say a [[Crystal Stars|Crystal Star]] hides.''"
*"''Woo hoo! Here we go, Mario! The start of our adventure! This is completely awesome!''"
*"''Whoa! What was that?''"
*"''Ooh! Is that a... Wow! [[Mario]]! Look!!!''"
*"''Totally incredible!... I've never seen anything that humongous before. [[Hooktail|It]] looked kinda scary, too. Weird... [[Professor Frankly]] said [[Petal Meadows|this place]] was peaceful.''"
*"''Wow! Crazy! We just started and, and already there's intrigue! C'mon, Mario! Let's go!''"
*"''Oh! One more thing, Mario! If you ever find yourself like, wondering what to do... Just press {{button|gcn|X}} and use my [[Tattle]] ability, okay? I might be able to look up some useful info that'll help us on our adventure!''"
*"''Dragon? [[Hooktail]]? That must've been that huge thing we saw earlier, Mario! So it's called Hooktail, huh? Oooooh, scary name! Pffffft!''"
*"''So anyway, [[Koopa Troopa|Green Boots]], have you ever heard of these things called [[Crystal Stars]]? We're on this quest for them. It's very important!''"
*"''A pink house? Sounds totally hideous...but it should be easy to find. Thanks for your help.''"
*"''Ew! Are you kidding me? EW! Nice wig, [[Dupree|you disco wannabe]]! Take a hike, Bozo the Dork (GCN) / Chump (Switch)!''"
*"''What a total [[Dupree|sleaze]]! Let's go somewhere else, Mario!''"
*"''OOOOOO-K... That was weird... What do [[Mario|you]] think THAT was all about? Talk about issues!''"
*"''So, Hooktail Castle, huh? Well… It sure is ominous, that's for sure.''"
*"''What’s with [[Dull Bones|these numbskulls]]? Ow! OWWW! Watch it, Pushy! They're shoving me around, Mario! What should we do?''"
*"''Mario! Look at that!''"
*"''Ooh, this isn’t good… Hurry! Run for it!''"
*"''Whoa! I mean, WHOA! That was seriously close! Well, whatever. We got the key, so let’s go open that weird chest.''"
*"''Who… Who are you?''"
*"''I’ll tell you why, Miss Ugly-Pink-Shoe-Whatever-Thief: we’re here to beat Hooktail! And just so we’re clear on this, we set our sights on the Crystal Star before you! OK?''"
*"''Shoot!''"
*"''LET us?!? LET us?!? What’s that supposed to mean?''"
*"''H-Hey! You little flirt! Who do you think you are, kissing Mario?!?''"
***"''H-Hey! Stop that smooching! Who do you think you are, kissing Mario?!?''" (Switch)
*"''What is WITH that girl? What a flirt! Who acts so disgusting like that?''"
**"''What is WITH that girl? There's no way you'd fall for all that flirting, right, Mario?''" (Switch)
*"''That’s just terrible!''"
*"''That’s it! Enough of this! Let’s finish him (GCN) / her (Switch) off once and for all, Mario!''"
*"''Yes! We did it, Mario! All we have to do now is search for that Crystal Star we can’t seem to locate.''"
*"''Mario? Are you OK? You’re totally shaking… Do you need a bathroom?''"
*"''Ooh, is that a Mailbox SP? Cool! With the light? Hey, who’s that mail from?''"
*"''Wow! Wait a second… Isn’t that from Princess Peach? THE princess? So that means she’s OK! At least she’s not hurt… But it sounds like whoever kidnapped Princess Peach is also after the Crystal Stars…''"
*"''OK, Mario! You ready? Hold that Crystal Star up!''"
*"''Ooh! Check it out, Mario! The location of the next Crystal Star has appeared. But, I… I… I have NO idea where that is! OK… I guess we oughta let Professor Frankly tell us where that place is.''"
*"''Yeah, great pun, C’mon! Where’s the next Crystal Star, Professor?''"
*"''A great tree in the Boggly Woods? OK…''"
*"''By the way, Professor… About Princess Peach… Not long ago, Mario received an e-mail from her. It said that the people who kidnapped her are also looking for the Crystal Stars. Oh, and the worst part? She said that she doesn’t even know where she is!''"
*"''Then we’ll head for Boggly Woods to find the next Crystal Star! Let’s do it!''"
*"''Mario! Did you see that? That was one of the things Professor Frankly described!''"
*"''Mario! How could you?!? Don’t you say that to him! …That wasn’t very mature. Hey, don’t worry! Really! We’re not here to be mean to you, honest.''"
*"''You’re one of the creatures from Boggly Woods, right? What are you doing here?''"
*"''X-Nauts? Easy there, kid. What in the world are you freaking out about? We’re not gonna do anything to you, so chill for a sec’! Just tell us what’s going on.''"
*"''Mario! That sounds like those guys who attacked us in Rogueport. Right? If they’re the same guys, then they’re definitely after the Crystal Star…''"
*"''I guess… I mean, we can’t just ignore them, right? And we do need to find the Crystal Star before those X-whatever guys do.''"
*"''These are the Boggly Woods… They sure look…boggling. Ooh! I’ve got butterflies!''"
*"''Call me crazy, but I think this place is totally deserted. Should we go back or what?''"
*"''What’s going on?''"
*"''Oh quit being melodramatic! Although…it does look thick. What are we gonna do now?''"
*"''How are we supposed to find a secret entrance? It’s secret for a reason, y’know.''"
*"''Wow, what’s the matter? Oh, I TOTALLY know how you feel! When I go out, I am all about the accessories! ...Hey! Wait a sec’! You lost your NECKLACE? I’m having deja vu, big-time! I swear, someone just said they FOUND a necklace…''"
*"''Ooh, that’s them! They’re the ones who had the… Wait a minute… What? You’ve been waiting for Mario? What’s THAT supposed to mean, you weirdo?''"
*"''Hey! What’s your deal? How do you know about the map and the Crystal Stars? Have you been talking to Princess Peach, or… Wait, what am I saying? The real question is, who the heck are you freaks?''"
*"''Hey! Stop right there, missy! You’re that thieving girl we saw before! What are you doing here?''"
*"''Eww! Not another smooch! Who do you think you are, you total floozy?''"
**"''Eww! Not another smooch! This flirting is out of control!''" (Switch)
*"''I can’t BELIEVE that girl! Ugh! I can’t stand her!''"
*"''Hey, if you’re done rallying everyone… I have a question. We’re looking for this Crystal Star thingamajig… Ever hear of it?''"
*"''Ooh, look! A new pipe! Come on! Let’s jump in!''"
*"''He IS just a kid, Mario. Maybe we should, y’know, take it easy on him?''"
*"''I wonder what his deal is? He seems so lonely…like he’s watching us secretly, y’know? Yeah… He almost looks like a lost little kitty cat looking for a home. Awww! Too cute! Hey, you don’t think he… He wouldn’t want to join us, would he?''"
*"''This isn’t good, Mario. We gotta do something.''"
*"''Hey! Check these out! I SWEAR I’ve seen these decorated columns before…''"
*"''Huh? Did you feel that? That crazy shaking? What in the world was that?''"
*"''Wow, Mario! Check it out! The Crystal Star! Score!''"
*"''Hey! You! I see you, jerk! Mario, it’s that weasel!''"
*"''This is so not cool! We gotta get out of here! Right now!''"
*"''Stop right there, jerk!"'
*"''You aren’t going anywhere, Mr. Stinker! Now give us the Crystal Star and drag your sorry self out of this tree forever!''"
*"''Whoa! He IS powerful! … Still… Something about this metal freak just doesn’t seem right to me… Keep your eyes open!''"
*"''We did it, Mario! Yes! Was that great, or what?''"
*"''Oh, I’m sure we’ll be back again at some point. Yeah, definitely! Take care, guys!''"
*"''Hey, you hear that? Someone’s mailing you!''"
*"''Aw, isn’t that sweet, Mario?''"
*"''Here we go again, Mario! Let’s see that Crystal Star!''"
*"''There it is! The resting spot of the next Crystal Star! Totally awesome! But it looks like it’s pointing somewhere…up in the sky. Huh? What could that mean?''"
*"''But the question is, why did they seal the legendary treasure away to begin with? I mean, were they just trying to keep it from being stolen, or what?''"
*"''…What? That’s not WHAT?''"
*"''Sheesh, Professor…''"
*"''No, I don’t, but whatever. How about this next Crystal Star, then? It’s like it’s floating on the Magical Map… It’s, like…floating?''"
*"''Well, how are we supposed to get there, then?''"
*"''What? What “channels”? Stop being mysterious! How do we get seats on the ship?''"
*"''So, no problem! We’ll just go meet this Don Pianta guy, and we’ll be on our way!''"
*"''Fairy tail nothing! That treasure’s real!''"
*"''Wait… What’s the favor?''"
*"''What should we do, Mario? We at least have to tell Don Pianta SOMETHING… But… That stuff about our luck turning terrible didn’t sound all that appetizing…''"
*"''Yay! Awesome! We did it! Now we can go to Glitzville!''"
*"''Well, no doubt about it: this is Glitzville! Can you believe it actually floats?''"
*"''Well, let’s get to it, huh, Mario? Let’s find that Crystal Star as fast as we can!''"
*"''Whoa, totally AWESOME! Check it out, Mario! Someone’s about to catch a beating up there!''"
*"''Whoa! Look, Mario! There! On the champ’s belt! Isn’t that a Crystal Star?''"
*"''Yeah, yeah, it totally is! Look at it sparkle! Gotta be a Crystal Star! Why would that be in a sweaty old pit like this?''"
*"''What do you think we oughta do? We can’t just steal that nutcase’s belt, can we? This stinks. What do we do?''"
**(Steal that thing!)
**"''Come on, Mario. Seriously. We’re the good guys, here. We can’t do that. No, no, the way I see it, our only option is… For you to kick some tails, take some names, become the champ, and WIN that belt!''"
**(Battle our way to the top!)
**"''There you go! You and I are, like, TOTALLY on the same exact wavelength! Crack a few heads, take a few names, become champ, and nab that belt!''"
*"''So let’s get busy, huh? I guess we gotta become official battlers first, right? Ooh, I’m kinda getting stoked about this! Let’s go find out who runs this shindig!''"
*"''They… Those total COWARDS! Those chickens attacked us before the bell rang!''"
*"''Oh, that is IT! Come on! We aren’t losing to punks like them! Let’s waste ‘em!''"
*"''We aren’t gonna lose to scrubs like YOU!''"
*"''C’mon, Mario! Let’s get this over with!''"
*"''See?! No biggie!''"
*"''What did you expect, huh? We rock!''"
*"''Huh? Did you hear that, Mario? You want us to help you, little eggy-weggy?''"
*"''It’s so ADORABLE! What should we do, Mario?''"
**(Help the little guy!)
**"''I am TOTALLY with you on this one, Mario. We’ll let you go, little buddy!''"
**(Let there be Hot Dogs!)
**"''Come on, Mario. That’s just tasteless, seriously. Don’t scare the little guy.''"
**"''Try not to be so childish, will you? There’s no choice here. We’ll let him go.''"
*"''Is that OK with you, too, Mr. Hot-Dog-Stand Guy?''"
*"''Awesome! Didja hear that, little eggy-weggy?!? You’re free! See ya around!''"
*"''Huh? What is it now, eggy? You want to follow us? Is that it?''"
*"''I’m pretty sure our little buddy here wants to hang out with us. Do we let him?''"
**(OK, it can follow us.)
**"''You hear that, little guy? Just make sure not to get in our way, though, OK?''"
**(No. Jumping eggs bug me.)
**"''Seriously, Mario, I wonder about you sometimes. We’re taking him, and that’s that. You hear that, little guy? Just make sure not to get in our way, though, OK?''"
*"''We’re gonna do it! We make the major league if we win! Get psyched, Mario!''"
*"''Heyyy… Check it out! Our little eggy friend is gone. What a bummer! Where do you think the little guy took to?''"
*"''What?!? You...were in that cute little eggy-weggy? Woah! That's wild!''"
*"''Mario! C’mon, now! We’re gonna win this time around! You gotta believe!''"
*"''Whoa! Mario! That was another e-mail, right? Don’t just stand there, check it!''"
*"''It’s from that X guy again. Great. The “watering hole,” huh? If you say so, X! Who IS this mystery guy?!?''"
*"''Mario! ANOTHER e-mail!''"
*"''"The blockade in the minor-league locker room," huh? What’s behind it, you think?''"
*"''Mario! Do you believe what that is? It’s a scientific report on the Crystal Stars! Someone was researching the Crystal Stars! And they even have pictures!''"
*"''Y’now, it’s REALLY weird that someone would just leave this lying around…''"
*"''What’s that chick’s beef? It was totally hard work getting that info!''"
*"''Well, whatever. At least it sounds like the Crystal Star is somewhere in here.''"
*"''That looks totally YUMMY! If you chow on that, I bet you can ride the sugar rush!''"
**(Eat)
**"''Yeah! Let’s eat!''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''Wow, are you like, watching your weight or something? I could NOT say no to that…''"
*"''Wow! That was Bowser, right? Jeepers, who woulda thought he’d show his face HERE?''"
*"''Mario! Here we go again! Another mail!''"
*"''Oh, it’s our X pal again. The telephone booth out on the pavilion, huh? I remember seeing that outside somewhere…but where? Let’s check it out.''"
*"''What…a…CREEP! How DARE he threaten us like that? Talk about low-class! Wait… He threatened us! You think that hate mail came from old chicken-legs? Well, who knows? One thing’s for sure: we gotta watch our step from here on out.''"
*"''The storage room in the arena now? Sheesh! What next? This guy’s got us running all over! It’s driving me to totally nuts!''"
*"''You again! Miss Flirt-a-lot! Are you following us or what? Y’know, Security heard you bungling around in here. It WAS you, right?''"
*"''Pffffffft! PUH-leeeeeeze! I am, like, SO sure!''"
*"''Are you, like, the biggest floozy ever or what?''"
**"''Are you trying to set a world record for flirting or what?''" (Switch)
*"''What’s with that burglar rat? I swear, I’m gonna headbonk her if she doesn’t watch it! But whatever… What do you think she meant about some poor souls upstairs?''"
*"''"The staircase switch"? What, is there supposed to be a staircase in here?''"
*"''Pssst! Mario! You listening to this?!? This whole missing fighter thing stinks of funny business! And here I just thought that King K retired and headed back to his hometown…''"
*"''Phew! Boy, that was close! Did you catch how Grubba just came out of left field with the Crystal Star bit? Jolene was acting totally weird, right? I’m betting she knows something… Anyway, for now, we’d better get out of here before someone finds us.''"
*"''Great. Our angry pen pal again. He sure seems to have a lot of information… I mean, if he knows about the Crystal Star AND the missing fighters… Then this guy is totally holding the key to this entire mystery! But like, who is it? WHO?!?''"
*"''Wow, looks totally yummy! I can NOT say no to cake! Let’s scarf that thing!''"
**(Eat)
**"''Yes! Cake time!''"
**"''Oh! OH! So GOOD! Hold your horses, Mario! I saved you a little…''"
**"''Wait… I feel kinda…weird. You ever feel like your body is like, totally going numb?''"
**"''Hey, I’m feeling better now! Way to kick some tail even without me, Mario! Still… A poisoned cake… Somebody was totally trying to take us out! We gotta be more careful, huh?''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''What’s your deal, Mario? I’m totally starving here! Are you watching carbs?''"
**"''Hey, Mario, you see what happended to our pal here?''"
**"''Omigosh! That cake must’ve totally been poisoned! Boy, if we’d eaten it… that’d be us on the floor!''"
*"''Hey! That’s another mail! What do you think? Our X friend of The Haterator?''"
*"''Oh, X again, huh? OK… I still don’t trust this guy, but I guess maybe it’s a clue… Something’s behind your posters in the lobby, huh? All right! I guess we gotta head to the lobby, then!''"
*"''What’s THAT key for?''"
*"''OMIGOSH! W-What happended here?!? Bandy Andy! And King K!''"
*"''Andy! Stay with us, OK? What do you mean, don’t get near the ring?!?''"
*"''Whoa! Did you see that, Mario? Was that…Jolene? What the heck is going on?''"
*"''Hey! Where do you think YOU’RE going, pal? Huh? The ring’s this way!''"
*"''Slow down, will ya, buddy? WHY are we going this weird way again?''"
*"''But this is a minor-league locker room! And speaking of which, where is everybody? I know he said to wait here… But, Mario, we’re gonna miss our fight against the champ!''"
*"''OK, they are like, totally, ridiculously late now! I’m gonna find out what’s up.''"
*"''Omigosh! Omigosh! Mario! It’s locked! The door’s locked! We’re totally trapped!''"
*"''Mario, if we don’t do something soon, we’re gonna forfeit that match! We gotta get out of here!''"
*"''I already tried that, Mario! It’s locked!''"
*"''Shoot! This one won’t budge either! This stinks!''"
*"''That…was maybe the grossest thing I’ve ever done. Uh-huh. But let’s get to the fight!''"
*"''Wow, looks like we actually made it! And listen to those cheers, Mario! They love you! C’mon, let’s go put this oversized rooster in his place, huh?!''"
*"''OK, Mario, this is it! A match with the champ! Let’s destroy this guy!''"
*"''What? What are you saying? Don’t tell me it was YOU who got that security guard to lock us up!''"
*"''So YOU’RE the jerk that’s been sending us mean e-mails about the Crystal Star!''"
*"''Yes! We finally did it, Mario! We destroyed him! But… You know, that Rawk Hawk really sounded like he hadn’t heard of the Crystal Star… And, I mean, even though we’re champs, we’re no closer to finding the real one…''"
*"''Hey! Mario! Am I going nuts or do you hear a voice coming from somewhere?''"
*"''Think it’s a ghost?''"
*"''W-W-WHOA! Turn the volume down on that thing! I almost screamed!''"
*"''Wait… There really IS a ghost in here? No WAY!''"
*"''This is the air duct, right? Where does it lead to?''"
*"''That’s GRUBBA! You think he could’ve made all those fighters disappear?''"
*"''Looks like he’s gone… Didn’t he say something about his desk drawer?''"
*"''There’s something! You think that’s the paper Grubba hid? Let’s take a peek, huh?''"
*"''Whoa! A machine under the ring using a Crystal Star? These are the blueprints! I don’t know much about that technical stuff, but I think the Crystal Star powers it! If this document’s accurate, then the machine can suck the power out of people! …Do you think that King K and Bandy Andy had been, like…drained?''"
*"''Quiet, you total scumbag! You sucked the life out of poor King K and Bandy Andy!''"
*"''C’mon, Mario! We can’t let that jerk get away!''"
*"''Look, Mario! Up there! The real Crystal Star!''"
*"''Using a Crystal Star to look good? You’re so totally vain! You’re gonna pay for that!''"
*"''Whoa! Grubba got huge!''"
*"''OK, Mario, I’ve had just about enough of this guy’s yapping! Let’s take him down!''"
*"''Jolene!''"
*"''So, the mysterious X who was sending those e-mails…''"
*"''Y’know, she came off all uppity, but she was just a girl who loved her brother.''"
*"''Whoa! Mario, check it out! The Crystal Star!''"
*"''Wow! The Crystal Star can do THAT?!?''"
*"''Wow, for real? We can just take it?''"
*"''Well, you heard her, Mario! Grab it!''"
*"''Yes! We have three Crystal Stars now! We’re rolling! Let’s head back to Rogueport, Mario!''"
*"''Mario! Hear that noise? That’s totally an e-mail from Princess Peach!''"
*"''What?!? They wanna rule the world? That does NOT sound like a friendly plan!''"
*"''Well, Mario… Why don't you take this as a reward for dealing with that guy. Ummm… You're carrying too many things at the moment. Why don't you take care of your inventory and then pick it up?''"
*"''Wow! What a freak!''"

==[[Goomfrey]]==
*"''The [[Box|package]]... Yep, that's it.''"
*"''I'll dispose of this in a way no one will ever find it. Tell [[McGoomba]] I said so.''"
*"''And do me a favor: forget all this. You hear me? It never happened. For your sake.''"
*"''We never spoke! Forget everything!''"
*"''And when you give [[McGoomba]] my message, he'll give you your compensation.''"
*"''Remember: this deal won't be done until you give my message to McGoomba.''"

==[[Goom Goom]]==
*"''Hey, thanks for taking on my trouble. All the way out here, too. I know it's far.''"
*"''I came out here to enjoy island life, but now that I'm here, I just feel lonely...''"
*"''There is no one to date. I mean, NO ONE. I'm chatting up sea turtles, here.''"
*"''So all I need you to do is introduce me to a nice girl. That's it. A girl. OK?''"
*"''I guess my type would be... Petite, younger than me, and pretty, not drop-dead hot.''"
*"''Yeah, a cute little Goomba gal would be just perfect... Please help me. Please.''"
*"''Hey, how’s it going? Did you happen to find a cute girl for...''"
*"''Whoa! That is one attractive shell… but that makes you… a Koopa of some kind. Not only that, but you're a dude. This is all wrong! Remember what I told you?''"
*"''Whoa! Now that is a very glamorous woman, indeed… But you're kind of… old… And you're not even a Goomba! This is all wrong! Remember what I told you?''"
*"''Whoa! Hey… You're petite, just like I asked… But you're a Yoshi! This is all totally wrong! Remember what I told you?''"
*"''Whoa! You sure are cute… But, um… That whole goth shadow thing is a bit… Creepy! There, I said it! This is all so very wrong! Remember what I told you?''"
*"''Whoa! How very, um… What's WRONG with you, huh? This is some crusty old dude! Do I look like I date old Bob-ombs? This is all wrong! Remember what I told you?''"
*"''Whoa! Well, well, well… This IS a cutie, oh yes… But you're some sort of rat! Close, but no Goomba! This is all so very wrong! Remember what I told you?''"
*"''Introduce me to a cute Goomba gal! Now come on! I’m dying over here!''"
*"''Whoa! Yeah! Wow! Yow! She’s cute! REALLY cute! And that ponytail! Man!''"
*"''Perfect! Slam dunk, man! Suh-lam duh-unk! This may be a bit soon...''"
*"''But I have to confess my love to this girl!''"
*"''Err... Uhh... Hi. Do you believe in love at first sight, angel? Because, you know, I do, and...''"
*"''I love you!''"
*"''I think I have loved you since before I was born... Please! Go out with me!''"
*"''What? You have a boyfriend?''"
*"''Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan... I’ve had enough of this...''"
*''<big><big>"PEACE!"</big></big>''

==[[Grifty]]==
*"''Good afternoon to you, sir! I am called Grifty, the traveling minstrel. I spend my days here in leisure, spinning tales that spin the senses!''"
*"''I know but a few of the stories that surround the town of Rogueport... If you like, I can share them with you...but it will require just a few coins.''"
*"''Is there a tale you want to hear? These are the tales I can tell you now.''"

==[[Grubba]] / [[Macho Grubba]]==
*"''Hooooo-WEEEEEEE! [[Rawk Hawk|Champ]]! That was a grade-A whuppin'! Yer thoughts on the match!''"
*"''Who in tarnation are [[Mario|you]], son? And who let you in?!? This is Grubba's office! Yep, that's me, Grubba! An' you, yer one rude dude, comin' in without knockin'!''"
*"''What, now? An athlete, huh? You wanna become a fighter?''"
*"''Hoo–WEE! That do change a thang or two, son! I always got time for an up-an'-comer! Yep, [[Glitz Pit|this place]] is packed to the gills with young fighters, all primed and a-rarin' to go! I gotta say, son, yer a bit skinny fer my tastes, but I'm willin' to give you a shot. Now, play me straight, son: you wanna live the glamourous life of a champ, don'tcha?''"
*"''All right! All right, son! I hear where yer comin' from, son, loud an' clear!''"
*"''When I was just a poor pup, I didn't give a [[Pokey]]'s patoot for fancy, big–city ways. But I jumped into the world of martial arts and fought my way to fame and riches!''"
*"''An' know what I realized? Bein' rich an' famous is diggety–dang DYNAMITE! Now, I can't mix it up in the ring no more, but I earned enough to set me for life. You readin' me here, son? Dreams do come true, even if they ain't yours, exactly!''"
*"''Yep, that's the key, son! Dream big, and you'll GET big, that's the winner's way! And when you make it big, you'll look back at all those small–dreamers and LAUGH! You readin' me here, son? That's the spirit, chief! Here, let's have us a little walk 'n' talk. C'mon, now!''"
*"''Now how you like THIS, pard? Just feast yer eyes, go on! This...is the champion's room. Isn't it a sight? Deeee-luxe! You become champ, son, and you get the key to this room! That ain't all, of course! That's on TOP of the big money and screamin' fans! Yeah, no doubt about it, son! Apply yourself an' a life of wealth an' comfort awaits!''"
*"''Now, uh, here we have the major-league locker room. A lotta contenders here! Whatcha think, son? Huh? Not exactly glamourous, but it's clean and comfortable. Totally sanitary, too. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I CARE about my fighters, darn it!''"
*"''Now... I'm sure you know this already, son, but there ain't but one world champion. Clawin' your way to the top an' takin' the belt to become champ ain't an easy thing... But that's the point, son! Wouldn't be worth it if there weren't no challenge! I can see you got the fire for it, too, pard! You got the eye of the tiger, there! Yer gonna be champ, I can just FEEL it! I ain't never been so sure about a fighter!''"
*"''! Oh, hey, one other thing... You gotta sign a itty-bitty contract to be a fighter. It ain't no thing, just take a second or two of yer time. Just jot your name here, OK?''"
*"''What in the hey? You lose yer taste for glory, son? Well, I can't say I understand yer change of heart, but...ain't nothin' I can do. I like yer style, though, so if you ever change yer mind... Just come on back, you hear?''"
*"''Hey, it's the future champ! So, you got yer nerve back up, did you, son? All right, then: how about you just gimme yer autograph on this here contract?''"
*"''Best thing you ever done, son! Now, yer Mario? Ain't a bad handle... Still, I gotta say, pard, it lacks a little punch as a fighter's name, get me? Lemme see, here... Bam! Hoooooo-WEEEEEEEEE! I got it!!! From now on, yer gonna be...the Great Gonzales! Hoo! Ain't that a beaut? Dang if that ain't a stroke of genius! A name that good comes 'round once a lifetime! Yep, everyone will soon bow before the Great Gonzales! Make me proud, son!''"
*"''Well, now that we got the business side outta the way... [[Jolene]]? could you come in a minute, darlin'?''"
*"''Sure did, hon. Jolene, this is the Great Gonzales, our newest risin' star. Be a peach and take him on down to the minor-league locker room, all righty?''"
*"''Well, howdy, Gonzales! Ready to get yer fists dirty, huh? There you go, son! I got a treat fer you: yer first battle's gonna be against [[the Goomba Bros.]]! Don't you worry 'bout them... They'll be a piece of cake! Just mop 'em up, OK, son? Hey, we wanna get everyone fired up, though, so [[appeal]] to the crowd at least once! You got any questions about detailed rules, just ask the lovely Ms. Jolene, OK, son? Well, good luck, pard!''"
*"''Squarin' off next, folks... are the Hoppin' Hardheads... the GOOMBA BROS.! Aaaaaand... A newcomer with a hankerin' for hammerin', the Greeeeeat GONZALES! The Goomba Bros. have been waitin' an' gettin' all het up for the fight. Let's check in! How do, Goomba Bros.! How're y'all feelin' today? You ready fer this fight?''"
*"''Hot-diggety-DANG, fight fans! There's the Great Gonzales now, stridin' on up! I tell you, this rookie's got some guts, strollin' up late like he owns the place! Hoo! OK, now, Gonzales, listen up. Lemme just explain the rules of the match real quick...''"
*"''We got ourselves a winner! The (fighter/team name)!''"
*"''The Great Gonzales wins! Tell me, son, what was this first taste of victory like?''"
*"''I'll tell you what I just saw, folks: a whuppin'! This kid's got skills! We got ourselves a new hero! Let's hear it for him, folks! Yeah! The Great Gonzales!''"
*"''Well, Gonzales, that fight wasn't a total loss... But listen, son, fighters gotta play to the crowd! You know, pump 'em up more! I'm hopin' you'll gimme more razzle-dazzle next time, huh? We understand each other? Good. I'll be on my way, then. Ms. Jolene here'll give you yer fight money. See ya!''"
*"''Well, boy howdy, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! Fixin' for a fight, huh? Well, all righty then! Lemme just see here... Yer next opponent will be... Ranked (number) in the Glitz Pit... the (fighter/team name)!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' any of them there [[Flower Point]]s! Yeah, you heard me! Let's see how you do without none of them fancy-pants moves! Now get in there an' show me somethin', son!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to stand pat, OK? Do...not...attack...at all. The crowd loves yer [[partner]], so give 'em what they want! Drive 'em bonkers! Now get in there and share that spotlight!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to keep that pard of yers from attackin'! You hear me? Keep that li'l firebrand in check, got it? Only you attack. Now get in there and show 'em who's boss, now!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to not attack fer the first three turns, OK? Fans love it when their heroes make 'em sweat a bit, am I right or am I right? Now get in there an' bring home the bacon!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to appeal to the crowd at least three times! These fans eat that stuff up. A little grandstandin' from their hero, an' they go nuts! Now get in there an' get 'em riled up, son!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to win BEFORE you take 20 [[HP]] of pain! Our fans don't wanna see a battered hero win by the skin of his teeth, son! Now get in there , show me some grit, pard!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to use at least one special move, OK? The crowd needs somethin' flashy, you catch my drift? Give 'em a good show. Now get in there an' blow the roof off, son!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to win after yer HP goes down to 5! Crowds do love a comeback, don't they! You better diggety-dang believe it! Now get in there an' take a beatin' for ol' Grubba!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to wrap it up in five turns or less! I got a date with a cute little chickadee in just a few, an' I don't wanna be late! Now get in there an' bring this puppy home quick!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid switchin' partners out! Gotta go with who brung you! A fight to the end, side by side! Now THAT'S drama! Now get in there an' stand by yer pard!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' any items! Empty them pockets! Real men don't need no trinkets to help 'em hand out a proper whuppin', you hear? Now get in there an' knock some heads the old-fashioned way, will ya?''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' any of them there special moves! I think the crowd's cravin' a nice, long battle at its simplest and finest! Now get in there an' don't go a-grandstandin'!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' your [[hammer]]! Not even once, son! I wanna see how you do when you ain't got somethin' to beat a fella with. Now get in there an' let's see some acrobatifyin'!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' yer [[jump]]. No jumpin' whatsoever. I wanna see a pure test of power without none of that flouncin' around. You get me? Now get in there an' hand out a whuppin' or two!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to let yer enemy damage you five times, OK? It's just so dang borin' when a match is too one-sided, you hear what I'm sayin' to you? Now get in there an' kick some behind!''"
*"''Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT GONZALES and... The (fighter/team nickname)... Yep, a fight to the finish with The (fighter/team name)!''"
*"''Get yerselves ready to... BAAAAAATLE!''"
*"''We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!''"
*"''Well, howdy, [[Sir Swoop]]! Ready to get yer wings dirty, huh? There you go, son! I got a treat fer you: yer first battle's gonna be against the Goomba Bros.! Don't you worry 'bout them... They'll be a piece of cake! Just mop 'em up, OK, son? Hey, we wanna get the crowd fired up, so do a move where you do a triple flip and meow! You got any questions about detailed rules, just ask the lovely Ms. Jolene, OK, son? Well, good luck, pard!''"
*"''Well, dog my cats! If it ain't the Great Gonzales! Fixin' for a fight, huh? Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! Hoo-wee! Yer gonna love this! Yer next opponent is... Ranked 10 in the Glitz Pit... [[The Iron Adonis Twins|The Armored Harriers]]! That's right! Yer darn tootin'! Yer finally gonna make a go at the major league, son! We're expectin' great things from you, so don't you go a-lettin' us down, now!''"
*"''And now...today's main event! The major league awaits the 11th-ranked Great Gonzales... But only if he can beat the 10th-ranked powerhouses... The Iron Adonis Twins! First, let's get the Merciless Executioner in here, folks! THE GRRRREAT GONZALES!''"
*"''Hooooooooo-WEEEEEEEEEE! The Great Gonzales! How're you feelin'?''"
*"''Whoa, nelly! You heard the fella, folks! He's obviously itchin' to mix it up some!''"
*"''Hyuk hyuk! Your challenger is real confident, boys! Yep, he's talkin' trash... "Iron Adonis Twins?" he said. "More like Paper Dog-Face Bros.! ...And they stink!" And then he said: "I bet they just play video games an' cry when they lose!" Um, yeah, and then he said... "Outie belly buttons run in their family! Stinkwads!" ...And so on. Yep.''"
*"''Cooooooooongratulations!! Great Gonzales! With this win, you made the major league! Now, THAT, folks, was what I call a wiiiiild an' wooly fight! A diggety-dang DOOZY! Keep it up, kid! You're goin' places, I can tell! Hoo-wee! C'mon, now, folks, give it up! We got a new major-leaguer! LET'S HEAR IT FOR HIM!!!''"
*"''Muh-Muh-Ms. Jolene! You mind yer manners, now! We KNOCK 'round here, missy!''"
*"''Don't you worry yer pretty li'l head about it none. Now, what'd I want again? Somethin' 'bout Gonzales... Oh, yeah! Gonzales, you ol' so-an'-so! Lemme congratulate you, son! Major league already, huh? I had a feelin' you were goin' places, and DANG, I love it when I'm right! You just keep on puttin' tuckuses in them seats! I'm countin' on you, son. I got a special li'l somethin'-somethin' for you. Go on! Take it!''"
*"''So, yeah, somethin' else that's been on my mind... Yer costume ain't cool. No big deal, son, but hey. Someday, if you become champ, I'll get you a new one. Somethin' hot pink, maybe with some frills or somethin'. You'll look a sight, son! Anyway, that's somethin' fer another day, pard. Take a powder, OK?''"
*"''Whoa, nelly! I don't believe my eyes, folks! The Iron Adonis Twins are in a rage!''"
*"''Whoa! Talk about carnage! Great Gonzales goes down! An unsanctioned match like this won't affect his rankin', but hoo-WEE! What a beatin'! The gauntlet's been thrown down! What'll happen next? Who knows, but it'll be wild!''"
*"''Hoooooooo-WEEEEEEEEEE! That's our Great Gonzales, friends and neighbors! Kid don't even blink when the Iron Adonis Twins barge in and attack! Woo! Tough! He's too dang tough! Yeah, this kid is only bound for bigger things, folks!''"
*"''Until next time, everyone... See ya!''"
*"''Whoa! [[Bowser|Another fighter]]'s stormin' in, screamin' his fool head off about somethin'! Gonzales has lots of foes, folks! Some who don't even know his name! Will he live?''"
*"''Whoa! Great Gonzales lost! Who woulda thunk it, folks? Who was that mystery fighter, anyhoo? It's one mystery after another!''"
*"''Hoo! That's our Gonzales! He don't even bat an eye when some nut (GCN) / fool (Switch) ambushes him! Tough! Yer too tough, son! And yer only gonna get tougher! Stay tuned, folks!''"
*"''...So you didn't find hide or hair of nobody in the storage room, that what yer sayin'?''"
*"''Well, no big deal either way. Ain't nothin' in there we'd miss too much anyway. Thanks fer stayin' on top of this, Jolene. Hey, an' by the way, any word on King K?''"
*"''Hoo, fighters have sure been goin' missin' a lot lately! That's the fifth this year! What in tarnation's goin' on? I even heard some [[Glitz Pit Security|security ijit]] sayin' the Pit's cursed!''"
*"''Well, fer the time bein', tell the other fellas that [[King K]] headed on home for a spell. If word gets out about missin' fighters, it sure ain't gonna be good for business, no siree! Nasty rumors have a way of sendin' folks runnin' to the hills, know what I mean?''"
*"''Y'know, Jolene... Yer a dang fine manager, but you just plumb disappear sometimes... I gotta know! Where in the world do you go, darlin'?''"
*"''Easy! Didn't mean to pry, now! How 'bout this, then... Heard of the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]?''"
*"''Okeydoke, well, I 'preciate yer time, Ms. Jolene. You go ahead an' run along, now, y'hear?''"
*"''Well, if this ain't a fine how-do-you-do! Seems like good fighters are a dyin' breed. That wild child Gonzales is just about the only draw I still got 'round here.''"
*"''What in the hey?!? Dang ceilin' is spookin' me! HEY! Somebody up there?''"
*"''...Hoo, nelly!''"
*"''Just a little ol' mouse... Here I am, thinkin' someone's up there a-peepin'!''"
*"''Just a little ol' kitty... Here I am, thinkin' someone's up there a-peepin'!''"
*"''Just a little burpin' beetle... Here I am, thinkin' someone's up there a-peepin'!''"
*"''I gotta relax...take some yoga classes or somethin'... Yep. Well, back to the ring!''"
*"''Whoa! Hold the phone, folks! What in tarnation is going on here?!? The Great Gonzales is flyin' solo this time! How's he gonna survive all alone?''"
*"''The Great Gonzales! Howdy! Fixin' for a fight, huh? Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! Well, guess what? Your next match is...THE TITLE MATCH! Hoooo-WEEEEE! Darn tootin'! You're up against the champ, Rawk Hawk! Now, I wanna see a fair an' excitin' match, so don't you let me down, now, you hear? Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to use at least one special move, OK? The crowd needs somethin' flashy, you catch my drift? Give 'em a good show. Now get in there an' blow the roof off, son!''"
*"''Now fer today's main event! The top dog of the major league... The Great Gonzales... ...Is finally gonna throw down with the champ! The one...the only...RAWK HAWK! First to enter the ring... The Feral Nuclear Reactor! [[Rawk Hawk|RAAAAAWWWK HAAAAAWWWK!]]''"
*"''Hooooo, DOGGIES! Champ! How're you feelin', son? Yer challenger's a handful!''"
*"''But the Great Gonzales made it to the top of the majors faster than anyone, ever! He even got up there faster than YOU did, Champ! What you got to say about that?''"
*"''And now for our challenger... The Merciless Executioner... THE GRRREAT GOOONZALES!!! ...Hold the phone, folks! What the hey's going on? What happened to the Great Gonzales?!?''"
*"''Hoo-WEE! What a stupefyin' development, folks! Did the Great Gonzales really turn yella an' head fer the hills like a dog?!? I tell you what, folks... If he don't show soon, he's a-gonna forfeit the match!''"
*"''! The moment you been waitin' for, folks! The Great Gonzales just entered the arena!''"
*"''Just listen to this crowd hoot 'n' holler fer the challenger, Great Gonzales! Will his hammer of hurt 'n' harm be enough to rock the Rawk Hawk's socks? Now, at long last, the battle to end all battles is here! Let's keep it clean, boys!''"
*"''Folks, I feel like my eyes just popped outta my head! We got ourselves a miracle! Technique versus technique! Raw power versus raw power! A clash of superhumans! Folks, this was truly, honestly, without question, no doubt, absolutely... The most legendary, amazin', improbable, history-makin' bout of all TIME! And the victor in this match fer the ages was... THE GRRRREAT GONZAAALES! Congratulations, Gonzales! Yer the champion, son!! Give him a hand, folks! The new Glitz Pit champ! THE GRRRRREAT GONZALES!''"
*"''Well, you finally did it, son! Today's yer first day as the new champ! Here's yer [[Champ's Belt|belt]]!''"
*"''Tell you what: I'm gonna go ahead an' get you set up in the champ's room right away. Ms. Jolene, be a peach an' show Gonzales here the champion's room, OK?''"
*"''Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! Well, THAT'S in perfect condition, as usual! Yep, long as I got THAT baby workin' fer me, this ol' bod ain't NEVER gonna get weak! But I'm gonna have to watch my tootsies here fer a little bit... First I let that King K ijit walk in on me when I was with...THAT... An' now I can't shake the feelin' that Jolene an' Gonzales are onto me... Well, I guess I'll burn that bridge when the time comes. I'll just disappear 'em! Yep, just like I did to them others...like I did to [[Prince Mush]], the first champ!''"
*"''I better lock this room up tighter 'n a peanut butter jar at a squirrel convention. An' I'll just go ahead an' hide the paper relatin' to THAT in the desk drawer... There we go! Y'know what, though? Since I'm thinkin' aloud, here... Good fighters ain't nothin' to mess with. Even Rawk Hawk lost to Gonzales. This new champ might have to disappear purty soon. For my sake...''"
*"''GREAT GALLOPIN' [[Gulpit|GULPITS]]! How in tarnation did YOU get in here, son?''"
*"''Well, slap me an' call me Sassafras! Yer starin' at my secret paper, too!''"
*"''Whoa, nelly! This ain't good!''"
*"''I gotta say, y'all are a coupla slack–jawed idiots, sniffin' 'round my business...''"
*"''Now you know my big secret, I'm afraid yer gonna have to take a li'l ol' dirt nap.''"
*"''Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! How you like my machine? Pretty dang nice, huh?''"
*"''Yep, I've been suckin' power from fighters with this baby! SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!''"
*"''Yer darn tootin'! An' you know why? 'Cause it keeps my bod forever young, son!''"
*"''Oh, just shut yer traps, now! I'll use MY [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]] however I dang please!''"
*"''Check THIS out! HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSCLE–UP!''"
*"''MAAAAAAAAAACHO GRUBBA!''"
*"''Hoo–wee! I'm gonna smoosh you guys into guacamole an' snack on YER energy, too!''"
*"''MAAAACHO! I'm a powerhouse now, you pesterin' li'l pieces of prairie piffle! So long's I have this here machine, my bod'll be rough, tough, an' ultrabuff!''"
*"''Oh yeah! Keep it spicy! You know I love a good tussle, Gonzales! Keep on scrappin', son! 'Course, it ain't gonna do you much good in the end...''"
*"''Not too shabby, Gonzales! You got showmanship, an' that's GOLD in this biz! But this here battle's just gettin' started! It's time I showed you some real moves! Back in the day, I had so many rump–kickin' moves, they had to make some illegal!''"
*"''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! I ain't finished yet, Gonzales!!! Ain't over 'til it's over! That's the way it goes in combat sports, son! And lemme tell you somethin: fortune's gonna smile on me in the end, punk!''"
*"''YAAAAARGH!''"
*"''Noooo... How'd this happen? How could a perfect bod like mine lose to such a chub (GCN) / schlub (Switch)? Oh...Great...Gonzales... Great fight, there, son. Great...fight. Urrrrrrrrrgh...''"
*"''Urrrgh... Prince Mush... He... He...discovered the secret of my...power-suckin' machine... I had him...urgh...disappear. Any which way you look at it...oooog...he ain't around these parts no more.''"

==[[Gus]]==
*"''Whoa! Whoa! Hold up, now! You're an outsider!''"
*"''Past this point is the turf of [[Ishnail]], head of the Robbos. It's 10 [[coin]]s to pass through.''"
*"''You try to pass without paying, and I'm afraid I'll have to whip you but good.''"
*"''One, two, three...Yup! That's 10 coins all right! You can pass.''"
*"''Whoa! Whoa! Hold up, now! You don't have enough cash! You dirty, lying cheapskate!''"
*"''It's really simple. If you don't pay, you don't pass.''"
*"''What? You gotta be kidding. You think you can fight your way through here?''"
*"''I'm gonna make you eat your words, [[Mario|tough guy]]! Let's get this party started!''"
*"''CRUD! You dumb video–game heroes ALWAYS pull this stuff! It's RIDICULOUS! You think violence solves everything, don't you? Huh? DON'T YOU?!?''"
*"''You're amazing! I think I might even brag about the fact that you wrecked me!''"
*"''...No, wait a second. I can't brag about getting beaten over 10 measly [[coin]]s... That's pathetic! Crud!!!''"

==[[Hamma Jamma]]==
*"''My grandpappy's hammer is gonna strike [[Mario|you]] down, man! Here it comes!''"
*"''What did you like the best? The burning? The beating? Or maybe the boomeranging?''"
*"''Hey, where'd you get the hammer? You're biting my style! I'M the hammer guy!''"
*"''You oughta know, man, this hammer was forged by my grandpappy... You really think a new model like that can stand up to a vintage heirloom like this?''"
*"''My grandpappy used to tell me great hammer stories... [[World 7-1 (Super Mario Bros.)|World 7-1]], that was his 'hood. I'm gonna become champion to honor his memory, man!''"
*"''My father decided to quit [[Hammer Bro|Hammer Bros.]] school and go to Business Bros. school... How could he do that? ...I guess it's the responsible thing to do, but sheesh...''"
*"''The day my grandpappy finished this hammer... Sniff... I fought by his side!''"
*"''By the way, my mother gave me this helmet but told me not to tell my father... Yeah, I left my whole family behind to come make a name for myself... They cheer me... I have to make it to the top for them, man!''"
*"''My father, the Business Bro, is in the audience today! He worries about me getting hurt doing this kind of work... I can't let him see me lose! If things are going badly, knock him on his back, OK?''"
*"''You start to lose confidence when your rank doesn't go up, know what I mean, man? Hey, but I've come this far, so I can't stop now! I have to fight for all the Koopas who helped me get here! I HAVE to, man!''"
*"''You know, I'm actually a little jealous of your hammer... I mean, your SKILL! But forget skill! I'm gonna TRY harder than you and become champ anyway!''"

==[[Hayzee]]==
*"''I'm Hayzee And I must say, [[Luigi]] is a great actor, one of the finest Iv'e seen!''"
*"''After this adventure, we're going on tour to appear on stages everywhere!''"
*"''I'm going to be known as 'The Red Miracle'! And of course, [[Luigi]] will be grass!''"

==[[Heff T.]]==
*"''Whoawhoawhoawhoa! What do you want?!?''"
*"''BUUUUUUUUUURP!''"
*"''Sorry about that. Now...What were you just saying? A [[Galley Pot|pot]] from the kitchen?''"
*"''Oh, I get it! Food gets stolen and you blame the chubby guy! NOT NICE!!!''"
**''"Oh, I get it! Food gets stolen and you blame ME right away with no evidence. NOT NICE!!!"'' (Switch)
*"''What? Drops of stew on the floor outside?''"
*"''N-No... I wouldn't know anything about that! No! People spill stuff!''"
*"''And there's nothing in the drawer, so no need to look! You won't find a thing!''"
*"''Doh! ......''"
*"''I'm sorry! I ate it all! It was MEEEEEEEEE!''"
*"''Yes... Yes, that's right.''"
*"''I'm so sorry, but it was a brief moment of weakness...Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!''"

==[[Hooktail]]==
*"''Who dares approach me?''"
*"''Hmm... So... You are friends of the strange–garbed one who came earlier? I didn't expect more to come to steal the treasure I protect... Such rashness...''"
**"''Hmm... I didn't expect more to come to steal the treasure I protect...''" (Switch)
*"''That was foolish, I fear. Do you really think you can beat me?''"
*"''But you're so small. And you don't appear tasty. I suppose you might make a good snack. 
*"''And the bottoms of your feet smell like they might make a good sauce with some spices. What I'll do is saute you to crispy goodness and gobble you down...HEADFIRST!''"
**"''After gnawing on the bottoms of your feet, I'll sauté you to crispy goodness and gobble you down...HEADFIRST!''" (Switch)
*"''Snack time, little appetizers! But which one of you morsels should I taste first?''"
*"''Bleck! That awful sound! It...sounds like a cricket! How did you know? Stop that this instant!''"
**"''Bleck! That awful sound! It...sounds like a frog! How did you know?''" (Switch)
*"''Urp... I got really bad...ugh... food poisoning once when I ate a cricket (GCN) / frog (Switch). I HATE them!''"
*"''Oh... Fight it, Hooky... Just hearing a cricket chirp makes me feel woozy!''"
**"''Oh... Fight it, Hooky... Just hearing the sound of them makes me feel woozy!''" (Switch)
*"''Ooooog... Must...not...gag... My poor tummy... Uuuuurp... So very woozy...''"
**"''Ooooog... Must...not...gag... So very woozy...''" (Switch)
*"''W-Wait! Hold up a moment! I give up! Please! I won't be so bad anymore. I promise! In fact, I'm sorry! For everything! Er... Yeah...''"
*"''To prove it, I'll give you 1,000 (GCN) / 10,000 (Switch) coins! What do you say? Can you forgive me?''"
*"''Delicious! I knew you would! Money makes the world turn! Now, come get your coins...''"
*"''OHHHH ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! You were completely duped by my ingenious ruse!''"
*"''You senseless yokels! Nothing in life is that easy! Your gullibility did you in!''"
*"''What? You must be joking! You don't need any coins? Then how about the lovely, rare, extra-special badge I have? I'll give you that. It's one of a kind! And it's yours for a limited time only! Will you take it?''"
*"''Of course you want it! Who wouldn't? Now, come here and get your badge...''"
*"''Errr... This isn't looking so good...''"
*"''Errrr... Really?!? Well, I suppose I could apologize by letting you smell the bottoms of my feet.''" 
*"''People pay good money to do this. I'm being completely honest right now. Really.''"
*"''So? Care to take a whiff of the rich, yet delicate scent of my world-renowned feet?''"
***"''So? Care to take a whiff of the rich, yet delicate scent of my world-renowned feet? One-time offer...''" (Switch)
*"''Heh heh heh... Thought so. No nostril contact, though! Now! Come here and sniff!''"
*"''Hrrrrrrrrmmmm! You aren't a very trusting fellow, are you? It's important to be able to trust someone, you know.''"
*"''Err... I guess I'd better...''"
*"''Ohhh ho ho ho ho ho ho! Ahhh! Now my strength has returned to me!''"
*"''Blurp! Why do I always have to feel so faint every time I hear a...urp...cricket (GCN) / frog (Switch)?''"
*"''B-But... I... I... GURK! How? Why? There's still so much I wanted to do with my life... So many meals...''"

==[[Ishnail]]==
*"''What's that? [[Mario|You]] wanna know how to meet that lying, stealing, jerky–for–brains, [[Don Pianta]]?''"
*"''Real thieves like [[Robbo Thieves|us]] end up poor as dirty, never catchin' a break 'cause of that guy!''"
*"''Fine, Mr. Insensitive Jerk, but it's gonna cost you [[Nintendo 64|64]] [[coin]]s.''"
*"''YESSS! I mean, good call.''"
*"''Hey, you! That was amazin'! I can't believe how you cleared out [[Shadow Queen|that darkness]]!''"
*"''You really are incredible! If I ever have a problem, I'm goin' straight to you.''"
*"''You saved the [[Mushroom World|world]], guy! You're welcome here anytime! My house is yours!''"

==[[Jerry]]==
*"''Hi, I guess. I'm Jerry. I'm a [[Bob-omb]] from [[List of implied locations#Plumpbelly Village|Plumpbelly Village]]. Nice meeting [[Mario|you]].''"
*"''Sorry I sound so down, but you would be too if you saw [[Luigi]] dressed as a bride.''"
*"''I'm serious. It scarred me. It was honestly scarier than that [[List of implied characters#Hizza|giant snake-thing]].''"
*"''I feel I now have a moral duty to stop Luigi from ever dressing as a bride again.''"
*"''I have to protect the world from my fate. That's why I'm sticking close to this guy.''"

==[[Jolene]]==
*"''Get ready to... BRAAAAAWL!''"
*"''Mr. Champion! No, I mean, [[Mario]]...''"
*"''Please allow me to express my earnest thanks for defeating that foul [[Grubba]].''"
*"''Now, sir... I mean, NO! NOT "SIR"! Grubba! I want answers, and I want them NOW! What have you done with my precious little brother? You know what I'm talking about: The first champion, [[Prince Mush|PRINCE MUSH]]!''"
*"''Let me tell you everything. I had a little brother once, by the name of Mush. He's have done anything for me. Our family was always poor, so he became a fighter here to support all of us... But he suddenly went missing one day. Our family was inconsolable. I suspected foul play, so I got hired on as the manager and investigated in secret. As I looked for clues about my brother, I accidentally saw Mr. Grubba transform. Seeing what I was up against, I almost gave up hope...and then you appeared. So I decided to secretly guide you.''"
*"''Well, [[Rawk Hawk|Champ]], tell us about your mind–set! After all, today's challenger is... The Great Gonzales, the only man to ever wrestle [[Champ's Belt|the belt]] away from you!''"
*"''But, Champ, Gonzales showed no signs of rust in climbing back up to the ranks...''"
*"''He shattered his own records, one after another! How does THAT strike you?''"
*"''Big words from the champ! And now, the challenger, who needs no introduction!''"
*"''The former champ returns!! The Superstar Sequel... The GREAT GOOOOOONZALES!''"
*"''Listen to the crowd give it up for the brave challenger, the Great Gonzales!''"
*"''It's been a while since these two met... but who will emerge victorious this time?''"
*"''The battle is ready to begin! Ring that bell!''"
*"''Two champions, face to face at last! The excitement among the crowd has reached a new peak!''"
*"''It's time to ring the starting bell…and begin a match that will echo the halls of the Glitz Pit for eternity!''" (Switch only, Prince Mush Exhibition Match)
*"''Who could've seen this coming? You couldn't PLAN a more ferocious battle!''"
*"''Wild moves, raw power, fists and feathers of fury... What beautiful destruction!''"
*"''This was without a doubt, inarguably, definitely, absolutely, completely...''"
*"''An EXTREEEEEME battle of the very highest caliber!''"
*"''But there could only be one winner, and this time, it was the GREAT GOOOOOONZALES!''"
*"''Congratulations, Gonzales! Once again, you're our champion!!''"
*"''Congratulations, Gonzales. I was a little worried that you were over the hill, but you made quite a comeback! You are a true champion!''"
*"''Now... I think I know what you're thinking... You plan to move on, don't you?''"
*"''Well, that's fine, of course. I'll keep you registered in case you were wish to return.''"
*"''Come back and give the folks a thrill every now and then. You know, defend your title!''"
*"''Of course, if you lose, you'll have to drop back down into the major league...''"
*"''Well then, I'm rather busy, as usual, so you'll have to excuse me.''"
*"''I need to work out a plan to bring Rawk Hawk back. That guy really draws crowds!''"
*"''Have a nice day, Gonzales.''"
*"''Please, Mr. Gonzales, I'm very busy these days. Fight promotion is not easy!''"
*"''Please see yourself out. And have a nice day!''"
*"''Thank you, Great Gonzales...No, Thank you, MARIO...You're a true champion.''"
*"''Huh? Who am I, you ask? Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! You don't know? I'm someone you know quite well, actually. When I go outside the arena, I like to cut loose and shed my other personality...''"
*"''Fight on, Mario...''"

==[[Kammy Koopa]]==
*"''Ah! Lord [[Bowser]]!''"
*"''I've just now returned. I'm terribly sorry to keep [[Bowser|you]] waiting, my lord.''"
*"''Please, Your Grumpiness! Don't be so impatient with your poor servant. Ahem... It's my displeasure to report that Mario, that scum, is off to a town called [[Rogueport]].''"
*"''Yes, well, you see, [[Bowser|my lord]]... Apparently Mario is hunting for an amazing treasure.''"
*"''Yes, [[Mario]] has gone in search of star-shaped jewels known as the [[Crystal Stars]]. I'm researching just what they are...but there's no question of their high value.''"
*"''Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Leave it to me. By the way, Lord Bowser... Do you like fried eggs?''"
*"''Well, during my [[Mario]] recon, I stopped in a lovely place called [[Petal Meadows]]. I was planning on taking everyone there for a picnic, having some eggs and toast... Of course, I wouldn't think of sending out invites without asking you first, Lord [[Bowser]]!''"
*"''Oh, dear... Lord Bowser... Please calm down... Remember your blood pressure...''"
*"''Hm? What's that?''"
*"''Whaaaaat??? Is this TRUE?!?''"
*"''Lord [[Bowser]]! Terrible news! Some bold fool abducted [[Princess Peach]] in [[Rogueport]]!''"
*"''I'm afraid we don't have that information quite yet... The investigation's ongoing. One thing is most certainly confirmed, however: [[Princess Peach|the princess]] has been kidnapped.''"
*"''But... Your Grunginess! Wait up!''"
*"''Right as usual, Lord Bowser! We just got word that [[Princess Peach]] was spotted in the town up ahead."''
*"''Mweh heh heh heh heh! My lord! You're so super!''"
*"''Lord Bowser! Over there!!!"''
*"''Mweh heh heh! Clearly she's so overcome with joy that she's been left speechless! The mind of a maiden is, well, rather... complicated. Mweh heh heh heh heh!"''
*""'Oh, my goodness me... Didn't see that coming..."''
*"''Did you say something, Your Rudeness?"''
*"''Those were some [[Punies]]. One of them should know about the [[Crystal Stars|Crystal Star]]... They fear you, so they're all hiding. Let's find them all and get the info we need."''
*"''Ha! See?!? I KNEW it! [[Puni elder|This ugly thing]] knows where the Crystal Star is! Tell us!"''
*"''EEEEEEEEEP! My heart! Don't startle me like that! I'm too old for this stuff!''"
*"''...Ahem! Uh, yes, Lord Bowser? You look as if you're just dying to say something!"''
*"''It's "MARIO"! Not "MARTY-O"! And it's not "Princess Pinch"! Her name is "Princess PEACH"! ...But your senility is beside the point! The princess and the treasures must be connected! Mario's trying to get it all! Treasures, princesses... Does his greed never end?''"
*"''My lord! I've received reports of a great secret in the floating town of [[Glitzville]]! Let's ride the Cheep Blimp there! Come now!"''
*"''You there! Two tickets! One Great and Evil King! And one Sweet, Young Thing!''"
*"''...WHAT did he just say? Hey! Come back here, you! Impudent little cheep-skate!"''
*"''Hey! I'm talking to myself! Where'd Lord Bowser go?"''
*"'' Wait! Lord Bowser, please! Awwwww... Now my Special Dirigible Deluxe Brown Bag Kammy Lunch will go to waste...''"
*"''HERE you are, Lord Bowser! What are you doing here? I've been looking all over! If I may ask, where have you been, Your Sogginess?"''
*"''Really? Neat! As for me... Glitzville was FANTASTIC! The fights were SO COOL! I was overcome! Why, even at my age, I was shaking what my momma gave me! And then...the [[Hot Dog (item)|Hot Dog]]s! Oh, my gracious! YUMMERLY! You have fun, too? Hm?''"
*"''Lord Bowser... Is that a "no"?"''
*"''The light's odd because this is [[Twilight Town]], my lord. Should be treasure here... Let's put the screws to one of these creepy things and find the Crystal Star!"''
*"''You there! [[Lord Crump|Suspicious guy]]! You know something about the Crystal Stars, don't you?"''
*"''Mweh heh heh heh heh! You dare scoff at us?!? Koopa Clan...FORM UP!"''
*"''Mweh heh heh heh heh! So, what's it gonna be, tough guy?"''
*"''Your Massiveness!"''
*"''We did it! The [[Magikoopa]] scouts found a suspicious underground chamber! It isn't even on any maps! Yeah! REALLY suspicious! SOMETHING must be there!"''
*"''The [[Hammer Bros.]] battalion is attempting to breach the chamber at the moment... The area is impenetrable! They're scrapping tooth and nail in there!"''
*"''Incredible, Lord Bowser! Nothing stood in your way! You couldn't be more super!"''
*"''Gracious me! Looooook! Lord Bowser! On the wall! Behind you!"''
*"''Mweh heh heh heh! At last, we've found one! And now we'll make it ours!"''
*"''Ouch."''
*"''Hmmm? Eeek! It split in two! Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no!"''
*"''Wait... Hold the phone! My mighty Lord Bowser! This is just glass! It's a flimflam! A fake!"'
*"''So they say, Your Putridness! And lo and behold, there it is now! Right behind you!"''
*"''Impressive work, Lord Bowser! You're the absolute best star-getting-guy!"''
*"''But look at this fancy display! The pedestal and everything! It's so posh! If it's a fake, then where's the real one, huh?"''
*"''Hmmm... How bothersome... The fact that we keep being outmaneuvered is distrubing. But where in the world could [[Mario]] and [[Luigi|his brother]] be heading? Where..."''
*"''Ah... [[Paragoomba]]! What are you so worked up over, hmm? Tell me!"''
*"''The [[Thousand-Year Door]]! An unbelievably legendary treasure is behind that door!"''
*"''Your Chunkiness! Are you OK?''"
*"''And [[Princess Peach|Peach]] as well?!?"''
*"''[[Mario]]! You sniveling bug! This is it for you! Mweh heh heh heh heh!''"
*"''Lord Bowser! Lord Bowser! Rah! Rah! Rah! Get 'em!''"
*"''Forgive me, Lord Bowser! I have nothing left...''"

==[[King K]]==
*"''Yo, [[Mario|Rook]]! How was your first fight, dog?''"
*"''I'm King K, man. Just a bush-league scrub like you.''"
*"''Good meetin' you, man. you look like a stand-up dude. I think I can hang with you.''"
*"''Hey, so, why don't you meet the gang, huh? This guy here's [[Master Crash]].''"
*"''Meet my peeps, Gonzales! I told you we were gonna square off, and now it's ON!"
*"''You're gonna need about 10 years of experience to beat King K and the KP Koopas!''"
*"''Yeah. My man's got, you know, some speech issues, but he's got good advice sometimes.''"
*"''Riiiight, man, whatever. Anyway, this lean machine over here is [[Bandy Andy]].''"
*"''OK, cool, and this last guy with the sweet purple kicks is known as [[Cleftor]].''"
*"''Easy there, Cleft-dog! Dude ain't the friendliest guy but you get used to him.''"
*"''Anyway, that's the core minor-league crew, man! You need something, ask, us.''"
*"''Oh, yeah... I almost forgot. You and me gotta eventually square off, so good luck, man.''"
*"''Hey, dog... Looks like your next match is against me. Good luck, man... to both of us.''"
*"''Hey, what's crackin', [[Mario|G-man]]? You just finish beatin' down some poor fools or what? You lookin' good, man.''"
*"''The old King K wouldn't mind a little bit of your luck, man. Yeah, that'd be nice.''"
*"''Again, [[Bandy Andy|dude]]? Man, you just a MAGNET for trouble!''"
*"''Aw, don't sweat it, [[Bandy Andy|B-money]]. [[Jolene]] can take that 'tude and shove it up her nose. Why you always chasin' that girl, anyway, man? You got a little thing for her?''"
*"''Man, I heard you just KNOCKED some blocks off! Not bad, [[Mario|Double-G-dog]]. You're the real deal, man. The realest I ever seen. Keep bustin' heads! An' if anyone gives you lip, you just tell 'em King K said to back it up! Biz-OWWWW!''"
*"''Whoa. Sounds like some poor sucker just earned himself a trip to the hospital. Hey, man, this is a brutal sport, sometimes, you know? This stuff happens.''"
*"''Hey, man, check this: I heard the Hot Dog Stand outside's gettin' a new menu item. Yeah, sounds like it's some crazy Hot Dog made with an egg from a southern island. Some fool was even sayin' the Hot Dog'll help you win fights! You oughta snack out on one!''"
**"''Hey, man, check this—I heard the hot-dog stand outside's gettin' a new menu item that uses a Mystic Egg! Did you know? Their Hot Dogs can restore your HP and FP during a match. That's some serious nutrish! I'm not sponsored—YET—just excited about some probably-amazing Hot Dogs! You oughta snack out on one!''" (Switch)
*"''Hey, you hear the latest, G-dog? My boys said they saw a STUNNIN' babe havin' a juice at the Fresh Juice Shop. King K could use a little shortie in his life, dig? Check her out for me, man!''"
**"''Did you hear the latest, G-man? My boys said they saw a STUNNIN' babe havin' a juice at the fresh-juice shop. She likes juice... I like juice... We already have so much in common! Check her out for me, man!''" (Switch)
*"''Listen, man... Keep it under your hat, but I'm thinkin' 'bout retirin' soon. If I stay any longer...well, my future might get shorter, dig? After next match, I'm gone. It ain't cool, man, that's for sure, but you know what? That's life, Double-G-dog.''"
*"''Listen... You be cool, man. Promise me you won't forget you once knew the King K!''"
*"''Wassup, dog? Good seein' you again finally, man, for real! Me, I UNretired! Let's rock this joint!''"

==[[Koopatrol]]==
*"''Uh, Great Lord [[Bowser]]... The, uh, crusty hag [[Kammy Koopa]] will arrive momentarily.''"
*"''I'm really sorry for the inconvenience, but please wait at the rear of the room.''"

==[[Koopa Troopa]]==
*"''Welcome, travelers!''"
*"''Hm? Where are you, you ask? Why, this is Petalburg! Sorry, but it's been a long time since we've had visitors here. We're, kind of remote. Yeppity, once that dragon Hooktail was spotted flying around this area... Well, it didn't help tourism, put it that way. People just stopped visiting.''"
*"''Crystal Stars, you say? Hmmm... Nope, can't say that I have. Sorry about that. You might want to speak with the mayor, though. He's old... Really, really old. As such, he knows all kinds of stuff we don't. Koopas of his age, are...um...really smart. Anyway, the mayor lives in that pink house up ahead. You should go check it out.''"
*"''So-called Great Gonzales! Don't think I'm gonna take it easy on you, baby!''"

==[[Koopie Koo]]==
*"''...Omigosh! That hat! Those overalls! And... And that magnificent mustache! You're [[Mario]], aren't you?''"
*"''Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! If only [[Koops]] were as brave as [[Mario|you]]...''"
*"''My boyfriend Koops is just sort of, well...wishy-washy. He's not quite timid, but... Well, I guess I just wish he would be more, you know, MANLY sometimes.''"
*"''Ohhhh... Koops... Why did I have to fall for someone like him?''"
*"''Wait... Was that out loud? Don't you dare tell him I said I've fallen for him! Please! I beg of you!''"
*"''I don't know why, but Koops has been acting odd lately. What could be bothering him? Probably nothing. He's always tweaked about something.''"
*"''Well, part of it, [[Koops]]... I THOUGHT I heard you say you're off to fight [[Hooktail]]...''"
*"''But...[[Koops|you]]'re joking, right? I mean, you're not exactly a powerhouse... He'll (GCN) / She'll (Switch) eat you up!''"
*"''No, Koops, you don't. I mean, going off to some dangerous place? It's... It's stupid. So what if you're timid? And sort of a crybaby. I don't care about all that. I just want you to be you. So, don't go...''"
*"''FINE! IGNORE ME! STUBBORN KOOPA!!!''"
*"''Oh, my dear Koops... I'm sorry about before. I overreacted. So, I've been thinking... about your tough decision... and here's what I decided. This is the first time you've ever faced your deep fears. ...And I'm going to support you. I won't hold you back! Good luck, sweet Koops! I love you! ♡''"
*"''Mario, listen to me... You take care of my Koops. Please, you must.''"
*"''Koops, my sweet... I'll be right [[Petalburg|here]] waiting...for you to prove yourself.''"
*"''Is it me, Koops, or are you more...toned than before? Well, well, well, well... You'll grow out of that shell soon if you aren't careful... ♡''"
*"''Oh, my sweet Koops... I wonder if he's forgotten me on his big adventure? Men are so unpredictable... Still, I'm sure our love grows stronger with distance. ♡''"
*"''Oh, dear...''"
*"''[[Koops]]... You're OK, right? You promised me you'd come back OK...''"

==[[Koopley]]==
*"''Oooo... Ooooooooooooo...''"
*"''YAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'm out! I'm finally out!''"
*"''Hey, [[Koops|Son]]! You've gotten so big since I saw you last!''"
*"''Well, I came here a while back to deal with Hooktail, and all was well and good... But just before my finishing blow, he played a trick on me and gobbled me down whole. I've been hiding in my shell for the ten years since then... Inside Hooktail's belly! And boy, was it nasty! Yuck! I'm so glad to finally get out! Ahh ha ha ha ha ha!''"
**"''Well, I came here a while back to deal with Hooktail, and all was well and good... But just before my finishing blow, she used the smell from her feet to stun me, then gobbled me down whole! I've been hiding in my shell for the 10 years since then...inside Hooktail's belly! And boy, was it nasty! Yuck! I'm so glad to finally get out! Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha!''" (Switch)
*"''Hey, speaking of which... What are [[Koops|you]] doing [[Hooktail Castle|here]], anyway?''"
**"''Hey, speaking of which... What are you all doing here, anyway?''" (Switch)
*"''...Crystal Star? [[Diamond Star|This]] wouldn't be what you're talking about, would it? I found [[Diamond Star|it]] down there in Hooktail's belly. Nice, huh? I kept it as a souvenir.''"
**"''Crystal Star? This wouldn't be what you're talking about, would it? I found it down there in Hooktail's belly. Nice, huh? I was gonna keep it as a souvenir...''" (Switch)
*"''Nicely said, young Koops! THAT'S my boy! But always remember this: you are my son, Koops...and I am your father!''"
*"''No matter where it is you go, Son, just know that your old Koopa's rooting for you!''"
*"''Take care of young Koops, will you, Mario? I'm looking forward to the day my boy comes home a full-grown Koopa!''"
*"''Looks like you're working hard, Koops. Good for you! Don't push too hard, though. If you do, you may find yourself all gobbled up... Like me! Yar har har har!''"
*"''So tell me, Mario, how's my boy, Koops, doing? If he's not pulling his weight, you just let me know. I'll take his place in your group like THAT! Oh, yeah! Yar har har har har har!''"
*"''OK, Koops, it's time for me to teach you my own patented fighting technique! If you can master this skill, you'll be ready for any foe! I like to call it the... [[Power Shell]] (GCN) / [[Shell Toss]] (Switch)! Hm? You already know it? Hmmm... So kids grow even without their parents...''"
*"''Mario, don't let Koops know, but I have this dream. Are you ready for it? Someday...I want to go on an adventure with Koops! I get the feeling that day's not too far off, somehow. That's two I owe you, Mario!''"
*"''[[Mayor Kroop|Mayor]]! It's the [[Diamond Star|Crystal Star]]! But I thought [[Mario]] had this thing...''"
*"''Hmmm... You may be right, but I don't know. But if anything's happened to my boy [[Koops]] and [[Mario]]...''"

==[[Koops]]==
*"''Um... Hi there, folks.''"
*"''Um... Excuse me! Err... I beg [[Mario|your]] pardon! Wait a moment! PLEASE!!!''"
*"''Pardon me for yelling like that... I was panicking. Umm... How to begin? M-My name's...Koops. I heard you're traveling to Hooktail's castle. So, anyway, I, uh... I have a favor to ask.''"
*"''Well... Ummmm... Oh, just... Just forget it. Never mind. Ignore me. Good... Good-bye.''"
*"''Ummmmmm... See... I was wondering... Would you... OH, PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU TO FIGHT [[Hooktail|HOOKTAIL]]! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU!''"
*"''I miss him, of course... I miss him badly. But this isn't just about avenging my dad. Well, no... That's not true. Revenge is a part of it, I guess. A big part. But the truth is, I want to finish what he started. For his sake. For everyone's sake.''"
*"''I... Man, this is embarrasing... See, everyone always says I'm a crybaby... A weakling. But if I can defeat Hooktail... Well, I won't be those things. I'll be strong, like my [[Koopley|dad]].''"
*"''No need to worry, though! After all, I'm traveling with Mario. He's the man!''"
*"''I'm sorry, Koopie Koo... I swear to you... I will come back to you a stronger Koopa!''"
*"''Oh, man… Hooktail Castle… The stories were all true… This place is TERRIFYING…''"
*"''Ummm… What’re they doing? Ouch! It’s no use, Mario! They’re all over me, man! What should we do?''"
*"''Ummm… M-Mario… L-Look at that!''"
*"''Oh, I don’t like the look of This… Come on! Run!''"
*"''Man… That was TOO close! Gotta shake it off… Hoo. OK. We got the key, so let’s go open that spooky chest.''"
*"''H-Hey! Who are you? Umm, well, you see… We’re here to beat Hooktail and get the…um…Crystal Star. So…don’t think we’ll let you get the Crystal Star first, no matter how cute you are!''"
*"''Darn!''"
*"''Ummm… Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?''"
*"''Oh, my! You’re so…bold… Is that legal?''"
*"''I wonder what her story is… I bet it’s an interesting one… Full of romance…''"
*"''That’s just not right!''"
*"''I’ve had enough of this! Let’s finish this guy (GCN) / gal (Switch) off fast, Mario!''"
*"''Wow! We actually pulled it off, Mario! Now all we have to do is find that Crystal Star thing you’re looking for, Mario.''"
*"''Something wrong, Mario? You’re…um…shaking. Are you feeling all right?''"
*"''That’s a new Mailbox SP, isn’t it? Wow, neat! Did you get some mail?''"
*"''Wow... You got mail from a princess. That’s so cool! So, anyway, she’s unhurt! That’s good, at least… But I didn’t like the sound of those kidnappers looking for the Crystal Stars as well…''"
*"''Um… All right, Mario! Hold up that Crystal Star!''"
*"''Hey, uh, Mario, look there. The next Crystal Star showed up on the map. But… I’m sorry, but I don’t have a clue where that is. Um… I think maybe we should take it to Professor Frankly and let him look at it.''"
*"''Um… So, can you tell us where the next Crystal Star is or not?''"
*"''A great tree in the Boogly Woods, huh?''"
*"''Um… Professor Frankly... You should probably know... It’s about Princess Peach... Mr. Mario got an e-mail from her just recently. Her Highness said that the guys who kidnapped her are also hunting Crystal Stars. Oh, and she said she doesn’t even know where she’s being held. ...Yeah.''"
*"''Um... I guess all we can do is head to Boggly Woods to find that next Crystal Star!''"
*"''Hey! Mario! You see that? That was one of the things Professor Frankly mentioned!''"
*"''Um... Mario, that was uncool. Don’t say stuff like that. I thought you were…nicer. Relax, relax, little guy. We’re no bullies, I swear.''"
*"''Um... Aren’t you one of the creatures from Boggly Woods? Why are you down here?''"
*"''X-Nauts? What the heck are those? Sounds like tissues… to the extreme or something. Look, we’re not here to do ANYTHING to you, so relax. Tell us what’s going on, OK?''"
*"''A bunch of bad guys in the Great Tree? If those are the same guys who kidnapped the princess, they want the Crystal Star!''"
*"''Um... I guess we should… I’d feel pretty bad if we didn’t do anything. Plus, we do need to get the Crystal Stars before those X-guys do.''"
*"''So, the Boggly Woods, huh? Looks mysterious, all right. What’ll we run into next?''"
*"''Hey, I don't think anyone's home. It's too quiet... Maybe we should take off.''"
**"''Hey, I don't think anyone's home. The owner must be out right now... Maybe we should take off.''" (Switch)
*"''Oh, no... What’s the matter? Hey, don’t take it so hard… It does look sturdy, though. What do we do now?''"
*"''Not to be a worrywart, but how in the heck can we find somebody’s secret entrance?''"
*"''Gee... Is something wrong? Gee whiz, that must be some nice necklace, huh? …Hang on… You know what? It’s weird… I’m sure I just heard someone talking about a necklace…''"
*"''Uh-huh! Uh-huh! I remember! THEY’RE the ones with… Hey! Wait a second… What do you mean, you’ve been waiting for Mario?!? That sounds…suspicious!''"
*"''Whoa, whoa, scary lady! How do you know about the map and the crystals? Have you talked to Princess Peach or something? Hey, now that I think about it, who are you, anyway?''"
*"''Oh! Hey! I know you! Y-You’re that one girl… I-I never thought I’d see… Wait, uh… Listen. I mean, not that I’m happy to see you, but… I’ll shut up now.''"
*"''Aww, AGAIN? Why? How? You’re SO lucky, Mario!''"
*"''Man, she sure is cute.''"
*"''Umm, while we have your attention, can I ask you something? We’re looking for this thing called a Crystal Star… Have you heard of it?''"
*"''Whoa! A pipe appeared! That was kind of…spooky. Oh well, let’s keep moving.''"
*"''Is he a lost child? Aw, man. That’s so sad! Hey, maybe we should let him be, huh?''"
*"''Um… Doesn’t it feel like he’s looking at us sort of…well, longingly, Mario? I mean… It almost looks like he fell out of his nest and is looking for a new family. This might sound crazy, but… Do you think he might be hoping to join us?''"
**"''Um… Doesn’t it feel like he’s looking at us sort of…well, longingly, Mario? I mean… It almost looks like he fell out of his nest and is looking for a new family. This might sound silly, but… Do you think he might be hoping to join us?''" (Switch)
*"''Boy! This just isn’t right. Let’s do something before my claustrophobia sets in…''"
*"''Wait… You see those? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen columns like those before…''"
*"''Huh? Whoa, whoa, whoa! The… The tree just shook! What was it? An earthquake?''"
*"''Mario, look! Look look look! It’s the Crystal Star!''"
*"''What? Did he just… Hey! What’s going on here?''"
*"''D-Did he just day… Eek! H-Hurry! We have to get the heck out of here!''"
*"''Um… ‘Scuse Us!''"
*"''We aren’t going to let you leave, you…you big bully! You hand over that Crystal Star and…get out of this tree! Yeah, get out!''"
*"''Yikes! That thing IS strong! … But I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something just not right about him… Be alert, OK? We can’t let ourselves get careless…''"
*"''We pulled it off, Mario! I can’t believe it! Wow!''"
*"''We’ll come back and see you again, I’m pretty sure. But… For now, we gotta go.''"
*"''Uh-oh! Ohhhh, man! Incoming mail!''"
*"''Pretty nice, huh, Mario?''"
*"''Um… Go for it, Mario! Break out the Crystal Star!''"
*"''Cool! The next Crystal Star showed up on the map! Hey, but…is it me, or is it up in the sky or something? Um… What could that mean?''"
*"''But, um… Why would they need to seal the treasure away in the first place? You think maybe they just wanted to protect it from thieves and robbers?''"
*"''That’s not what?''"
*"''Whoa, Professor Frankly!''"
*"''Oh, yeah, right… Anyway, what about the next Crystal Star? It looks like a it’s floating on that map! Um… If it’s a floating city… How the heck are we supposed to get there?''"
*"''Well, that doesn’t sound hard. Anyone can use these “channels”, right? Right?''"
*"''Well, hey, that sounds easy! We just have to talk to this Don Pianta person.''"
*"''Um… Excuse me, but, uh… That’s not true! The treasure is real! Honest!''"
*"''Sure! We can do anything! What is it?''"
*"''Umm… What should we do? I mean. I guess we should go tell Don Pianta something. But I… I don’t want our luck to turn terrible… Whatever THAT means!''"
*"''Wow, we did it, Mario! We can go to Glitzville!''"
*"''Ummm… Yeah, this would be Glitzville, all right… How do they make it float? I mean, it hasn’t ever, you know, plunged from the sky or anything, has it?''"
*"''Time to hunt down that Crystal Star, huh, Mario? I know I’m ready!''"
*"''Wow! This place is so cool! Hey, Mario, look up there! There’s a battle match going on right now!''"
*"''Umm… You see that, Mario? The thing on that shiny belt! Is that a Crystal Star?''"
*"''Yeah… Yeah! It’s gotta be! That sparkle’s a Crystal Star! Umm… But that doesn’t make much sense at all. Why would it be on that guy’s belt?''"
*"''Boy… I don’t know, Mario. It’s not like we can just steal that guy’s belt… …Or can we? What should be our move here?''"
**(Steal that thing!)
**"''Ummm… Listen, Mario, I think the world of you, but really… We can’t do that. It just wouldn’t be right. The way I see it, we have no choice… You gotta fight your way to the top and win that belt fair and square!''"
**(Battle our way to the top!)
**"''That’s the ticket, Mario! Do this thing RIGHT! All you have to do is become champ and you’ll get that belt fair and square!''"
*"''So…I guess we better get started. There must be a novice sign-up somewhere… My tummy’s getting upset… Let’s find the guy in charge before I lose my nerve!''"
*"''Hey! That’s no fair! You can’t attack before the bell rings! That’s cheating!''"
*"''Come on, Mario! We can’t let a bunch of cheaters beat us. Let’s take them down!''"
*"''I’ll try not to get in your way, Mario…''"
*"''Ummm… OK, we can do this!''"
*"''We…won? Cool!''"
*"''We did it, Mario! Wow!''"
*"''…Hm? Is it just me, or do you think that egg… What? You want our help, egg?''"
*"''Umm… Your call, Mario. What do you want to do?''"
**(Help the little guy!)
**"''Yeah, we can’t ignore it… Good call, Mario. Let’s set this little guy free.''"
**(Let there be Hot Dogs!)
**"''Mario! You’re supposed to be the adult, here! Scaring babies just plain isn’t nice! The way I see it, there’s no two ways about this thing. We let this little guy go.''"
*"''Ummm… Provided that’s OK with you, too, sir.''"
*"''Well, cool. Looks like you’re free and clear, little guy. ‘Bye!''"
*"''Huh? What’s with you now? You want to follow us or something?''"
*"''Ummm… I think he definitely wants to stick with us. What should we do, Mario?''"
**(OK, it can follow us.)
**"''That’s great, Mario. You’re in with us, little buddy! Stay out of the way, OK?''"
*(No. Jumping eggs bug me.)
*"''Man! I had heard you were this nice guy, but…man. Wow. Anyway, we gotta take him. Just ignore Mario. You’re in with us, little buddy! Stay out of the way, OK?''"
*"''Wow! If we win, we’ll actually be in the major league! Let’s show our stuff!''"
*"''Umm… Hey, uh, Mario? Did you notice that the little bouncy egg isn’t here? Where do you think it went?''"
*"''Ummm…WHAT?!? You hatched out of that egg? That’s nuts… So you’re a Yoshi, huh?''"
*"''Ummm… OK, Mario. Are we gonna do it this time?''"
*"''Ummm… Mario? Wasn’t that your e-mail alert just now? Shouldn’t you check it?''"
*"''Gee whiz! That X guy again? He wants us to go to the “watering hole”? Who in the world is this guy?''"
*"''Wow, Mario! E-mails are coming fast and furious now!''"
*"''"The blockade in the minor-league locker room", eh? What might be behind it?''"
*"''Wow, Mario! That’s a research document on the Crystal Stars! Unbelievable! Someone commissioned a report on the Crystal Stars! A report with pictures!''"
*"''Ummm… Maybe I’m being paranoid, but it seems odd that someone would lose this.''"
*"''Oh… Well, there she goes… Taking that document we worked so hard to get…''"
*"''Well… I guess we know that the Crystal Star is in the arena, at least.''"
*"''Hey, that looks pretty good! You could probably get a quick energy boost from it…''"
**(Eat)
**"''All right! Cake time!''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''Really? Boy, you have some willpower, Mario. It looks so delicious…''"
*"''Umm… Was that King Bowser? What was he doing here? That…kinda freaks me out.''"
*"''Ummm… Mario? Your pocket’s beeping. Mail time!''"
*"''Oh! It’s from X again, huh? Telephone booth? Pavilion? Does he mean outside? You remember seeing a phone booth? Well, we better go look around.''"
*"''Hey! Who does that guy think he is, threatening us? But wait… Threatening us… Maybe that hate mail came from Rawk Hawk! Well, one way or the other, we need to be really careful from now on.''"
*"''Now we have to go to some storage room? Man… This seems like a lot of legwork. Is this guy just playing with us?''"
*"''Oh! Ms. Mowz! Hi there! Are you stealing something again? How exciting for you! Hey, by the way, a security guard heard you in here. Were you making noise?''"
*"''Oh, sure, right, of course! I didn’t mean to doubt you, Ms. Mowz…''"
*"''Oh… Mario, you lucky dog…''"
*"''Boy, Ms. Mowz sure is cute. Too bad I sound like such a dork (GCN) / nerd (Switch) whenever I talk to her. Hey, but enough of that… What was that last thing she said, about people upstairs?''"
*"''Umm… “The staircase switch”? There’s supposed to be a staircase in here somewhere?''"
*"''Mario! Did you get all that? Fighters are going missing! Talk about scary! I figured King K just took an early retirement and headed home…''"
*"''Wow, that was TOO close. So, Mario, you heard that part about the Crystal Star, right? Ms. Jolene acted pretty weird, I thought. Kind of suspicious… We can look into it later, I guess. For now, we better clear out before they find us.''"
*"''Oh, goody, this guy again. He really seems to know a whole lot of stuff… Those missing fighters… The Crystal Star… You know, if we find this guy, we’ll have all the answers! But who could it be?''"
*"''Wow, that looks pretty darn good, doesn’t it, Mario? Let’s eat it, huh?''"
**(Eat)
**"''Cool! Snack break!''"
**"''Oh, MAN is that ever good! Hang on a sec’, Mario… There’s a little left…''"
**"''Hey… You know, this cake is so good that it feels like my whole body is going numb…''"
**"''Hi. I’m feeling OK, now… But good to see you took care of business anyway! Still… A poisoned cake… Somebody wanted us out of the picture. We better watch our steps.''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''Oh, man… Are you sure? I bet it’s got that cookie crust, too…''"
*"''Ummm… Say, Mario, you notice this guy over here?''"
*"''Umm… You know what, Mario? That cake was poisoned! We almost ate that thing, too. If we had… Gee, if we had, we’d be in big trouble!''"
*"''Hey, another mail, Mario! Who is it this time?''"
*"''Oh, OK. It’s that X guy again. His messages still freak me out, but this is our only clue. The Great Gonzales posters in the lobby, huh? We have to peel them off? Well, let’s give it a shot.''"
*"''Ummm… What do you think that unlocks?''"
*"''WHAT THE HECK?!? H-How could this happen?!? Bandy Andy! And King K!''"
*"''Andy! We’re gonna get through this! Why shouldn’t we go near the ring?''"
*"''Hey! Mario! You see that? Wasn’t that…Ms. Jolene? My brain is starting to hurt trying to figure all this out. What is going ON?!?''"
*"''Ummm… Mr. Security Guy? Isn’t the ring this way?''"
*"''Hey, listen, wait up! Where are you taking us?''"
*"''Umm… Why are we in a minor-league locker room? And where is everybody? He said to wait here, but… I don’t know, Mario. We’re gonna miss our big fight!''"
*"''Look, no two ways about it, we’re gonna miss this match. We better find somebody.''"
*"''Ohhh…crud. Bad news, Mario. This door’s been locked. We’re trapped in here!''"
*"''Ummm… I’m pretty sure that we forfeit if we don’t show up at the match, Mario. We have to figure out a way to get out of here! And quick!''"
*"''Nope! Still locked!''"
*"''No good! This one’s locked too! I’m freaking out!''"
*"''Whoa. Is that what plumbers do? I had no idea, man. Wow. Anyway, let’s go!''"
*"''Phew! We made it…barely. Listen to all those cheers! Your fans are out in force! Come on, let’s get in there and beat this guy!''"
*"''Well, Mario, here’s our chance. We’re fighting this monster. I’ll be right behind you!''"
*"''What do you mean by that? Are you… Are you saying it was you who got us locked up by that security guard?''"
*"''So it WAS you! You’re the guy who’s been sending us Crystal Star hate mail!''"
*"''Wow! We pulled it off, Mario! Can you even believe it? But… You know, Rawk Hawk really didn’t seem to know about the Crystal Star… We still haven’t found the real one. I wonder where that thing could be?''"
*"''Ummm… Mario? Is it just me, or do you hear a voice?''"
*"''Could it be…a ghost?''"
*"''Y-Y-Y-Yikes! That Mailbox SP almost scared me to death! Turn down that volume!''"
*"''So...there is actually a ghost in here with us? Let's hide under the bed."
*"''Ummm… Is this the air duct? Where does it lead to?''"
*"''Hey… That’s Mr. Grubba! Could he really have made those fighters disappear?''"
*"''OK… Looks like he’s gone. He said something about his desk drawer, right?''"
*"''Hey, see that? I bet that’s the document Grubba hid. Let’s check it out.''"
*"''Wow! A machine under the ring using a Crystal Star? These are the blueprints! I can’t make much sense of this paper, but I think the Crystal Star powers it! If this document’s correct, then the machine can…gulp… suck the power out of people! Oh, man… You think King K and Bandy Andy got, you know…drained?''"
*"''You...great...big...JERK! How could you do that to King K and Bandy Andy?!?"
*"''Mario! Let’s go after him!''"
*"''Wow, Mario! Take a look! The Crystal Star!''"
*"''How could you use a Crystal Star just to look better? You won’t get away with this!''"
*"''Wow! Grubba got…really big! That isn’t good!''"
*"''Mario, we owe it to the other fighters to teach this maniac a lesson! C’mon!''"
*"''Ms. Jolene!''"
*"''Ohhh… So, our mysterious X…''"
*"''Gee… She seemed kind of aloof, but she really just loved her brother…''"
*"''Hey! Mario, look up there! The Crystal Star!''"
*"''So… The Crystal Star brought him back?''"
*"''Ummm... You sure you don’t mind us taking it?''"
*"''I guess it’s OK, then, Mario! Let’s take it!''"
*"''All right! That makes three Crystal Stars! We’d better get back to Rogueport, Mario!''"
*"''Ummm... Mario? Do you think that’s another e-mail from Princess Peach?''"
*"''Th-Th-They want to rule the w-w-world? Ummm… I don’t like the sound of that…''"
*"''Mario, thanks to you, I've gained courage and inner strength, and I've grown closer to my dad. I think I like myself more since I've known you. It's all so hard to put into words. Um...''"
*"''Wow. I am not feeling attractive right now…''"
*"''[[Three Shadows|YOU guys]] are the ones who are done for! Let’s settle this, once and for all!''"
*"''Let’s leave [[Three Shadows|these wimps]], Mario...''"
*"''Yikes! What a grump!''"
*"''No... way! No way, lady!''"

{{Quotes}}
{{PMTTYD}}
[[Category:Quotes|Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes by character (G–K)]]
[[Category:Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door|*]]