Editing List of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes by character (A–K)

{{italic title|List of ''Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door'' quotes by character (A–K)}}
{{main|List of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes}}
This is a list of quotes from ''[[Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door]]'' and its [[Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (Nintendo Switch)|Nintendo Switch remake]] by character (A–K).
==[[Admiral Bobbery]]==
*"''Harumph! What poppycock... Tell me, what would you want with me if I were this chump?''"
*"''Awfully sorry, dear boy, but when I say "no", what I mean is...NO!''"
*"''Oh, by Blabberton's beard! Not you again!"
*"''By Blubbery's blotches! Is that [[Mario]] over there? You're alive, old boy!''"
*"''You came just in the nick of time! Get these two out of here this instant!''"
*"''Just leave it to me, eh? I'll keep these gouls busy while you get out of here! Flee! That's an order! Let me do what I must do! NOW, AWAY WITH YOU!''"
*"''HAAAAACK! PBBBTTHH! Uuurrrrgh... Get me that Chuckola Cola, old boy...''"
*"''HUP! HUP! WOT WOT?!? Yobbity yobbity...PIRATES! Where are those pirates?!?''"
*"''I'm sure my sea legs and explosive personality will be rather useful, eh?''"
*"''Flavio, old boy... I must say... You talk rather too much.''"
*"''We've done it, old boy! I should say he won't be too keen on seeing us again, eh?''"
*"''Call it an old sea bomb's intuition, but that skull rock smells...suspicious.''"
*"''Flavio, you old cash-grubber! If you want the treasure, why don't you go get it yourself?''"
*"''There you have it, Flavio! Fair and square, eh wot?''"
*"''Ah... Well, I say, that curse chap seems rather a bit of all right, eh?''"
*"''By Chowderton's cheeks! That dreadful voice again... Those ghosts must be near...''"
*"''On your toes, old bean! That can only be an e-mail from [[Princess Peach]]!''"
*"''Great Goobery! [[Mario|Your]] [[Princess Peach|princess]] is no one to be trifled with! We'd best get to work, too!''"
*"''Wait a tick! I've heard tell that only the rich and famous call that place home...''"
*"''Harumph! Sounds positively scintillating, dear boy. Point us there!''"
*"''Pardon me for saying so, but mustn't you have wealth or fame to ride that train?''"
*"''Ah...no. Terribly sorry. Mm-mm. Impossible. Can't do it. The man's reprehensible! ...Well, drat. I suppose there's nothing for it, eh, old boy? If we must, we must. Let's go.''"
*"''Jolly good show! We'll reach [[Poshley Heights]] in time for tea, eh? Finding that [[Garnet Star|sixth Crystal Star]] shouldn't be more taxing than a vacation, eh wot?''"
*"''[[Mario]]! That bodes ill! I suggest we reach [[Poshley Heights]] before that crone! Look alive, man! We are off to Rogueport Station!''"
*"''Harumph! The [[Excess Express]]! Rather posh, I must say! Yes, rather posh, indeed! The three days to [[Poshley Heights]] ought to pass in an eyeblink, eh, old boy?''"
*"''Rather odd threat, eh? You don't think that [[Beldam]] crone's responsible, do you?''"
*"''Well, regardless of who it may be, the scoundrel is surely on this very train! Let's roust this swine before he or she has the chance to cause mischief!''"
**"''Well, regardless of who it may be, the scoundrel is surely on this very train! Let's roust this swine before they have the chance to cause mischief!''" (Switch)
*"''What makes me say that? I've a sea lion's nose for scoundrels, old boy!''"
*"''I should think they are the perpetrators behind the drawbridge debacle! Let's make haste, find the switch, and switch it back!''"
*"''Right! Let's have ourselves a snooze so we're right as rain in the morning!''"
*"''Ah, nothing quite like a new day, eh, old boy? And what a cool and brisk morning! Clears the sinuses!''"
*"''What IS that rank thing? ...Horrors! Mario, look! It's got the other passengers!''"
*"''Confound it all! Now what?''"
*"''Blast it all! We're too late!!! Quick! After them!''"
*"''By Crackifer's cookies! The moon? The princess is on the moon, old boy? Smashing!''"
*"''The moon?!? Great gobbledy! [[Princess Peach]] is there as well! ...This seems a bit...off.''"
*"''An Ultra Hammer?!? Dear man, we've already procured one of those!''"
*"''Hmm... Yes... I see! Quite so! Destination: Fahr Outpost!''"
*"''A touch nippy, I should say! Let's do make haste, Mario. Fahr Outpost can't be far now, old boy!''"
*"''Old boy, I KNOW I saw a cannon the last time I was here, so do not lie, sir!''"
*"''Rather frosty, isn't it? Almost freezes one's mustache, eh, old boy?''"
*"''Harumph! Well, that was rather a bumpy trip, wot wot! Who would've guessed I'd get to do such a thing...''"
*"''Well, old boy, we're really on the moon, by Crabbery!''"
*"''You! You've been waiting, you say? Whatever do you mean by THAT, you boor?''"
*"''So Peach WAS here! Where did you take her, you hurly-burler?!?''"
*"''I say, old boy, I rather think YOU'RE going to be the one doing the suffering!''"
*"''We've finally got all seven Crystal Stars! Corking!''"
*"''Crockity! I say, old boy, did you just hear something?''"
*"''Into the breach, Mario!!!''"
*"''This place is rather ugly...but we haven't a choice in the matter, old boy! We must get in there and save Peach before this hullabaloo goes any further! Let's go, dear boy!''"
*"''Now who's this dragon fellow? I say, isn't that Hooktail, the guy you beat before? Yes, enormous, with rather grimy toes... Yes, that suits this fellow to a T!''"
*"''It's absolutely titanic... What in blazes is it?''"
*"''Opening the door for you? My dear, repellant woman, what do you mean by that?!?''"
*"''Such balderdash! It's quite obvious you are in for a stomping, so let's have at it!''"
*"''Let’s leave [[Three Shadows|these cads]], Mario...''"
*"''This room gives me a rather foul feeling in my belly... What IS this chamber?''"
*"''So, this lout is the leader of those X-Nauts?''"
*"''No! So the last Crystal Star we found on the moon... We're fools!''"
*"''Watch your back, old boy! This burly fellow looks rather robust!''"
*"''What should we do, old boy? We're doomed if we don't attack him...''"
*"''Whew... Rather close, hm? At least we've settled that blury bloke's account, old boy. Now, let's save Peach!''"
*"''Mario, we mustn't serve evil! You must resist, old boy!!!''"
*"''I know Scarlette is watching over me from the other side! I KNOW it, old boy! If I don't send this queen packing, my girl will be most displeased, hm? Mario! Let's send this shady demon back to the darkness!''"
*"''Serve a witch? My Scarlette would be rather angry with me, I should think...''"
*"''What... What's THIS, now? I feel rather like a new Bob-omb! I feel fantastic!''"
*"''Mario! The time is ripe! We've almost done it!''"
*"''Don't you dare apologize, my dear! It was all in a day's work for us, hm?''"
*"''Well, old boy, it was most agreeable that I had the chance to meet you. If it hadn't been for you, then my dear Scarlette would still gaze down on a broken [[Bob-omb]]. Let's meet again, Mario! And this time, let it be on the high seas, old boy!''"
*"''Rather a crabby sort, eh?''"
*"''Leave it all to me, old boy! I shan't need help!''"
*"''I suggest you try a bit harder against the likes of us, hm?''"
*"''Well, you're hardly my type, either, you young scallywag!''"

==[[Arfur]]==
*"''Did you check prices for me?''"
*"''Perfect! OK! I'm ready.''"
*"''First, how much are they asking for [[Fire Flower]]s?''"
*"''And for [[Sleepy Sheep]]?''"
*"''OK...''"
*"''And how about [[Tasty Tonic]]? How much is that?''"
*"''...Wow! That's rough.''"
*"''Those are some low prices. I can't believe they're selling that low...''"
*"''Hmm... Even if I try to compete with them, I don't think I can profit.''"
*"''But it is certainly helpful information. Here's your reward. Good work.''"

==[[Bandit]]==
*"''Heh heh heh heh heh! We're awful quick, awful agile...and just plain awful!''"

==[[Bandy Andy]]==
*"''Heh. Nice to meet you. I'm not in here too often, but if you see me around, say hi.''"
*"''...Oh yeah, if you sleep in the bed over there, your HP and FP will fully recover.''"
*"''It's not like the cushy bed in the champ's room, though: it doesn't refill [[Star Power]].''"
*"''Heh heh heh heh heh... Sorry, [[King K]]. Didn't mean to bring [[Jolene|Queen Nag]] in here.''"
*"''Shut up, K! ...Now... If you folks will pardon me, I must be off.''"
*"''Heh heh heh heh heh heh! I do believe I'll go out for my regular stroll soon...''"
*"''Hey, how're you, Gonzales? You're looking pretty good. Glad to see it.''"
*"''Hey there, Gonzales. How's it going? Me? I'm doing a little... research.''"
*"''Hey, speaking of which... Ever hear of the "Seven Wonders of the Glitz Pit"? Yes, this place has rumors and secrets in spades, but... The Seven Wonders of the Glitz Pit are the most mysterious of the bunch. These things fascinate me, so I wander around doing research on them.''"
*"''Well? So, how about it? Want to hear about the Seven Wonders or not?''"
*"''They say...there's a sealed wall in the minor-league locker room... Some say...the remains of fallen athletes are stored in there...''"
*"''They say...in one of the arena's bathrooms, a man-eating toilet lurks... Some say...that anyone who sees this toilet never sees anything again...''"
*"''They say...there's a room in the Glitz Pit with a second floor but no stairs... They say...no one has ever gone upstairs... And some say...that groaning voices sometimes come from that second floor...''"
*"''They say...that the champion's room is haunted... Some say...if you keep still in the room, you'll hear voices whispering from nowhere. Some even say...the voices are athletes who lost to the champion...''"
*"''My friend's friend's friend told me this one... He said...he saw a strange light leaking under the ring doors when no one was there. He couldn't see inside since the doors were locked. I plan to investigate this myself...''"
*"''They say...sometimes fighters disappear for no reason, never to return... Some say...that the very first champion, [[Prince Mush]], was spirited away in this way...''"
*"''[[Grubba]] is a strange one... His body is incredibly toned, even though he's past 60. He must have an exceptional training regimen. Then, there's the matter of [[Jolene|Ms. Jolene]]. They say...she suddenly vanishes at times. Some say...a fighter saw her go into the bathroom and waited for her to come out. ...But she never did. ...Huh? You think it's stranger that someone staked out her bathroom? Good point.''"
*"''Heh heh heh heh heh! We're awful quick, awful agile... and just plain awful!''"
*"''Heh heh heh heh heh! That was too easy! Didn't think you could keep up!''"

==[[Beldam]]==
*"''The honorable [[Grodus]] has need of [[Three Shadows|us]]? Then we arrive without delay.''"
*"''Mmmwee hee hee hee hee... Pray tell, did the [[Princess Peach|princess]] tell [[Sir Grodus|you]] where the [[Magical Map|map]] is?''"
*"''It wasn't my fault, truly! There were too many prying eyes there. Too many... Besides, [[Wonky#The Incident I Saw|a strange old man showed up at the moment of truth]], and we had to retreat.''"
*"''Why worry? All we need to do now is find this [[Mario]] and steal the [[Magical Map|map]], yesss?''"
*"''Mmmmwee hee hee hee... Fear not, sire. I, Beldam, shall return with what you seek.''"
*"''Let's go, my lovelies! [[Marilyn]]! [[Vivian]]! Come! We've got a job to do!''"
*"''Mmmmwee hee hee hee! Time to go to work, lovelies! [[Vivian]]! You understand what we've got to do, yesss?''"
*"''Oh, bad things happen all the time, [[Vivian]]. But you're right about our goals.''"
*"''If my information is correct, [[Mario]] should be coming down this road quite soon. You must ambush him here and get that map!''"
*"''Hmmmm? What's this, now? [[Vivian]]! What's that you're fawning over there?''"
*"''Hmph! [[Vivian]]! For shame! Picking up someone's scraps? Disgusting! Greedy!''"
*"''But enough about that! [[Vivian]], my dear pack rat... Bring out the sketch of that [[Mario]] guy you got from [[Sir Grodus|Grodus]]! Mmmmmwee hee hee!''"
*"''Don't be ridiculous! I don't have that thing. [[Vivian|You]] were in charge of it!''"
*"''You wretched little worm! Blaming me for something you probably screwed up!''"
*"''Oh, what IS it, [[Marilyn]]? ...Huh? What's that? [[Mario|A mustachioed fellow]]? This is no time for such nonsense, you great oaf! Save your games for later!''"
*"''Now, now, where was I? You! [[Vivian]]! Don't tell me you lost our precious sketch!''"
*"''SILENCE, YOU DITZ! Such impudence! How dare you talk back to me like some rebellious child?!? It's clear to me that the only rationale your type understands is force... For your punishment, I'll be taking that [[Necklace (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|necklace]] you just found. Yes, so sorry.''"
*"''What is it, [[Mario|Mr. Mustache]]? Leave us! Scram! Right NOW! I have no business with you!''"
*"''Silence, you twit! Now's not the time to get hung up on stupid details! We must study this sketch!''"
*"''Wow! This [[Mario]] guy looks so manly! Check out that bushy mustache... How handsome! You know something, though, my lovelies? I swear I've seen this gentleman before... AAAAAAAAAAAACK! He's Mr. Mustache!''"
*"''Ack! I don't believe this! [[Vivian]]! This is, without a doubt, all your fault! I'll be dealing out some strict punishment later, my dearie! Oh, yes! I promise you that!''"
*"''Silence, you squirrel-brain! Don't you cop that insolent attitude with me!''"
*"''And about that necklace... I was thinking of returning it to you, but NO MORE!''"
*"''AND...since you caused this problem, you have to figure how to find this Mario chump!''"
*"''Well! If it isn't Mario! Shiny mustache or no, you can't be too bright if you came here looking for us! Mmmmmwee hee hee hee... And you know why? 'Cause we were waiting for YOU!''"
*"''Mmmmmmwee hee hee hee! I have no quarrel with you...but I simply can't allow you to hunt for the [[Crystal Stars]]. And so, I'll be taking that little map of yours just as soon as I deal with you.''"
*"''Mmmmmmwee hee hee hee! Those who seek names are often disappointed, but if you insist, we'll tell you. We are…''"
*"''Vivian! You nincompoop! What are you babbling about? It's [[Three Shadows|Shadow SIRENS]]! I don't see three beauties! I see two, but then there's you, and you're <FONT COLOR="#FF0000">PLUG–UGLY</FONT>!!!''" (GCN)
**"''Vivian! You nincompoop! What are you babbling about? It's SHADOWS! The Three SHADOWS! “Sisters” makes us sound less mysterious…and less scary! How many times must I remind you?!''" (Switch)
*"''It's just a figure of speech! Ooh, you've got some FIERCE punishment coming your way!''" (GCN)
**"''How insufferably sappy! Ooh, you've got some FIERCE punishment coming your way!''" (Switch)
*"''That's for later, though... First, we have to deal with this Mario and his friends. Let's do it, my lovelies...or rather, my lovely and ugly! Marilyn! Vivian! The might of The Three Shadow Sirens will be more than enough to win the day!''" (GCN)
**"''That's for later, though... First, we have to deal with this Mario and his friends. Let's do it, my lovelies... Marilyn! Vivian! The might of The Three Shadows—RELATION WITHHELD—will be more than enough to win the day!''" (Switch)
*"''It's most unlucky that our sights are set on you. Well, unlucky for you, of course. Marilyn! Vivian! Let's show them precisely what we can do!''"
*"''What are you DOING, Vivian? You twit, I'll never forgive you if you lose!''"
*"''Hit him, Marilyn! NOW!''"
*"''Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! You're tougher than I thought, Mr. Mustache. I guess it's time to stop toying with you, hmmm?''"
*"''AAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Now it's...up to...you...''"
*"''AAAAAAAAAAAACK!''"
*"''Mmmmwee hee haaaaaaaack! Oooog. Maybe we were just a touch overconfident. [[Marilyn]]! [[Vivian]]! You lumps! We would've won if you pulled your weight! Both of you, prepare for a world–class punishment session when we get home!''"
*"''Well, yes, sorry, but... Only because he's tougher than we thought at first..."''
*"''Mweee hee hee hee hee... Well, rest assured that I will defenitely nail him next time. We have prepared a weapon that will bring him to a quick and certain end.''"
*"''Just leave it to us, [[Sir Grodus|sire]]. Mweee hee hee hee hee..."''
*"''Let's away, my lovelies! Marilyn! Vivian!"''
*"''Mwee hee hee hee hee... Yes... This time we'll take that Mario and get his map! With this [[Superbombomb]] here, there's no way we can fail. No, not likely...''"
*"''Vivian! Hand me that glorious Superbombomb!''"
*"''Vivian... Don't you dare... Does that "Huh?" mean what I think it does?''"
*"''Oh, you terrible LIAR! Stop making up stories to cover for yourself! If I don't have it, then OBVIOUSLY you must have it! And OBVIOUSLY you lost it! Or... Are you trying to imply that I lost [[Superbombomb|it]], you little lollygagging worm?''"
*"''Well, we can't do much about it, now can we?!? Oh, you are SUCH an idiot... Very well... I'm sure you must have dropped it around here somewhere... So why don't you look for it while Marilyn and I go take a well-earned siesta. And if you don't find it... Well, you know what'll happen, don't you?"
*"''That's right, you little twit, so get cracking! Come, Marilyn. Let's leave this useless little fool to her chore.''"
*"''Vivian is so VERY late! Where has that scatterbrain been all this time?''"
*'''Mwee hee hee hee hee hee! I heard that, my uglies! So, the [[Garnet Star|sixth Crystal Star]] is in [[Poshley Heights]]? That's a rather nice piece of information. Thanks ever so!“''
*"''Normally, this would be where I finally deal with you and that homely'' (GCN) / ''sappy'' (Switch) ''traitor, [[Vivian]]... But something tells me that trying that alone might be unwise. So you live, for now. Instead, I'll just beat you to Poshley Heights and get that Crystal Star before you do! Mwee hee hee hee hee hee!“'' (GCN)
*"''Mwee hee hee hee hee! You're one step too late! We have the Crystal Star!''"
*"''We've been waiting for you, Mario...''"
*"''Thank you SO much for opening [[The Thousand-Year Door|the door]] for us, Mario! Yes, that was nice! Thanks to your do-gooder predictability, my plan is progressing very smoothly...''"
*"''Mwee hee hee hee hee! So you still don't see it? Ah, such fools... The "Professor Frankly" you were with when you opened the Thousand-Year Door... Was none other than this little [[Doopliss|freak-in-a-sheet]]!''"
*"''Mwee hee hee hee hee! The real [[Professor Frankly|Frankly]] is sleeping off a nasty bump on the head in a closet somewhere! Poor thing! And once we get rid of you here, our plan will be nearly complete!“''
*"''Ready for the end, my dears?''"
*"''You and that traitor Vivian have a date with eternity!''"
*"''Shut up, freak!''"
*"''Come, my sort-of-lovelies! [[Marilyn]]! [[Doopliss|Freak-sheet]]!''"
*"''All right, my kind-of-lovelies! This time, we take out Mario and his goon squad for good!''"
*"''So...if I catch you slacking, you'll be in for INCREDIBLE punishment come tomorrow!''"
*"''Gah! Curse you, Mario! This is so very annoying! Blast it!''"
*"''Hey! You! Freak-sheet! Pull it together, will you? Don't make me punish you!''"
*"''Are you OK, Marilyn?''"
*"''Mwee hee hee hee hee... I'll leave the rest to you...''"
*"''Mwee hee hee hee hee!''"
*"''Arrrrrrgh... At this rate... [[Shadow Queen|She]] will never... Ooooof...''"
*''<small><small>"Bleeeaahhhh..."</small></small>''
*"''[[Shadow Queen|My queen]]! You have returned to [[Three Shadows|us]]!''"
*"''Yes, my queen… I searched for a [[Princess Peach|pure maiden]] that you might inhabit… And as I did, I spread the rumor of a great treasure… Then I led the fools who had gathered the Crystal Stars here to open the seal…''"
*"''I am not worthy, my queen…''"
*"''My queen!''"
*"''NOOOO! Let's get out of here, [[Marilyn]]!''"

==[[Black Chest Demon]]==
===Chest Demon 1===
*"''Hey! [[Mario|You]]! Can you hear me?''"
*"''You can?!? That must mean you're the hero of legend!''" (GCN)
**"''You can?! That must mean you're the hero of legend!''" (Switch)
*"''Only the great hero of legend can hear my voice. Yeah! Everyone else...nothing.''"
*"''See, long ago, an [[Shadow Queen|evil spirit]] cast a curse on me, locking me in this box. I was bummed.''" (GCN)
**"''See, long ago, an evil spirit cast a curse on me, locking me in this chest. It was a real drag.''" (Switch)
*"''I've been here ever since, waiting a long, LONG time for the hero to come by!''"
*"''...So, yeah, anyway, big guy...What brings a hero like you to a place like this?''"
*"''Oh, yeah? Searching for the [[Crystal Stars|Crystal Stars]], are you, now? So you really are a hero.''"
*"''Well, you're DEFINITELY going to need my help if you hope to get those bad boys.''" (GCN)
**"''Well, you're DEFINITELY gonna need my help if you hope to get those bad boys.''" (Switch)
*"''So, first you should look for the key to this [[Black chest|box]]. Then use it to let me out. Definitely.''" (GCN)
**"''So, first you should look for the key to this chest. Then use it to let me out. Definitely.''" (Switch)
*"''Well, I know MY vote goes to you finding [[Black Key|that key]]. I'm sure it's around here somewhere.''"
*"''This is what the key looks like, by the way.''" (Only on Switch)
*"''C'mon! Being stuck in a box is no picnic! I'm counting on you, O Great Legendary Hero!''"
*"''Whoa, what?! You already found the key! Oh man, I owe you BIG!''" (GCN)
**"''Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You brought the key! Yes! Oh, man, I owe you BIG!''" (Switch)
*"''Ooh! C'mon! Don't taunt me! H-Hurry up and open it!''"
*"''YESSSSSSSSS! Thank...Ha! Thank NOTHING!''"
*"''Whee hee! Foooooools!''"
*"''Oh, BOY, did you fall for it! I BURNED you! What, you think I was gonna help you?!?''"
*"''Instead, I'm gonna spread a little of the suffering I've endured in that stupid box!''"
*"''Yeah! Sorry, but those are the brakes! I'm gonna cast an evil, terrible curse upon you!''"
*"''Buggly-wuggly-WOOOOOOO! You're cursed!''"
*"''Whee hee hee hee hee! Enjoy that curse, sucker! You got what you deserved!!!''"
*"''You wanna hear all about the sweet curse I just dropped? Then listen well!''"
*"''From now on, if you press {{button|gcn|Y}} in certain areas, you'll turn into a paper airplane!''" (GCN)
**"''From now on, if you press {{button|switch|Y}} in certain areas, you'll turn into a paper airplane!''" (Switch)
*"''Whee hee! Trembling yet? Suffer the rest of your days under my terrible curse!''"
*"''Whee hee hee hee hee hee! Oh, I can't help but chortle! You're DOOMED!!!''"
*"''This curse is pretty rough, I guess, so I suppose I owe it to you to explain it.''"
*"''Ready? If you stand on an airplane panel like this one, the floor will start to glow.''"
*"''Yeah, OK, you're on the panel. Now try pressing {{button|gcn|Y}}! And then, bam! You're a paper airplane!''" (GCN)
**"''Yeah, ok, you're on the panel. Now try pressing {{button|switch|Y}}! And then, bam! You're a paper airplane!''" (Switch)
*"''The worst part of this curse is that you must tilt {{button|gcn|Stick}} Left and Right to control yourself.''" (GCN)
**"''You'll control your tiny paper-plane self by tilting {{button|switch|leftstick}} forward and back! The plane will rise if you tilt {{button|switch|leftstick}} in the direction behind you. However, if you keep tilting {{button|switch|leftstick}} too much, you'll slow down and start to fall back to the ground! Once you start to rise, stop tilting {{button|switch|leftstick}}! Timing is key... Try it now, and suffer total aerodynamic humiliation!''" (Switch)
*"''I guess if you got good at it, you might fly a long way...but that's the ONLY good thing.''" (GCN)
*"''So, be honest. Isn't this curse just about the worst thing that's ever happened to you?''" (GCN)
**"''So, be honest. Do you fully understand the peril this curse has bestowed upon you?''" (Switch)
*"''Yes! It's so frightening, you lost control of your brain! Listen once more, crybaby!''"
*"''If you step on the floor panels that are marked by my curse symbol, the floor will glow.''"
*"''Whee hee hee hee hee hee! If you press {{button|gcn|B}}, you MIGHT return to normal! Maybe!''" (GCN)
**"''Whee hee hee hee hee! When you've had enough airplane shame, press {{button|switch|B}} to deplane and get back to normal!''" (Switch)
*"''Farewell, you foolish fool! Whee hee hee hee!''"

===Chest Demon 2===
*"''What the heck?''" (GCN)
**"''Oh, dang!''" (Switch)
*"''Hey! Guests! It's been a long time since anyone came here! A REAL long time!''"
*"''...Huh? [[Mario|You]] heard me? Wow!''"
*"''Wait a sec'... If you can hear my voice, [[Mario|you]] must be some legendary hero or something... Or not!!''"
*"''To be honest, I'm sure anyone with ears can hear me.''"
*"''...But it sure is fun zinging people with that whole 'legendary hero' bit!''"
*"''Hey, but seriously, folks, I was wondering if [[Mario|you]] could let me out of [[Black chest|this chest]]...''"
*"''I've been locked in here so long, I'm starting to cramp up like [[Mario|you]] wouldn't believe.''"
*"''All [[Mario|you]] have to do is find [[Black Key|the key]] and let me out. Easy!''"
*"''Huh? What do [[Mario|you]] mean? You think you'll be cursed if you open the box? Ridiculous!''"
*"''Who would do that, really? Wait in a box and curse folks! A real slimeball, that's who!''"
*"''But I'm not a real slimeball, and I would do no such thing! But that should be obvious.''"
*"''Look, if [[Mario|you]] help me out, maybe I'll help you out. You know, a little I-scratch-your-back-you scratch mine. Except in reverse order.''"
*"''Of course, [[Mario|you]] don't have to if you really don't want to. Like finding a [[Black Key]] is hard...''" (GCN)
**"''Of course, you don’t have to if you want to. Like finding a key like this is hard…''" (Switch)
*"''Hang on, what's this?! You've already found the key! Unbelievable!''"
*"''Hey there! Boy, I am SO glad [[Mario|you]] found [[Black Key|that key]]! Unbelievable!''"
*"''No! Wait! Don't do that! Look, you found the key...now just use it to open this box.''"
*"''WHEEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! FOOOOOOOLS!''"
*"''Why, only the most idiotic, pudding-brained dolt would fall for a scheme like that!''"
*"''[[Hooktail Castle|The castle]]'s traps prevent anyone who's entered this place from ever leaving it!''"
*"''No matter which path [[Mario|you]] take, you're fated to waste away to a slow, painful end!''"
*"''But wait! There's more to this great deal! I'll throw in a free CURSE! No charge!''"
*"''Oogly-googly-BOO!''"
*"''Wheee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, doofus! And it serves you right!''"
*"''This curse is more cursedly curse-worthy than any curse that's ever cursed you!''"
*"''For...this curse makes you like a piece of paper when you press and hold {{button|gcn|R}}!''" (GCN)
**"''For... this curse makes you like a piece of paper when you press and hold {{button|switch|zr}}!''" (Switch)
*"''Wheeee hee hee hee hee! What a curse! Who curses like me? NO ONE!''"
*"''Now I shall show you just how frightful a curse it is!''"
*"''Go on! Press and hold {{button|gcn|R}}! Press and hold {{button|gcn|R}} now!!!''" (GCN)
**"''Press and hold {{button|switch|zr}} now!''" (Switch)
*"''You idiot! Press and hold {{button|gcn|R}}! Press and hold {{button|gcn|R}} and be ashamed!!!''" (GCN)
**"''What are you doing?! Press and hold {{button|switch|zr}} and be ashamed!''" (Switch)
*"''Wheeee hee hee hee hee! Just look at yourself! How embarrassing for you!''"
*"''Eat a sandwich, skinny! Hee! ...Do you understand what this curse means for you?''" (GCN)
**"''You'll be all papery thin while you press {{button|switch|zr}}! You'll try to jump or move and you'll probably just wobble there! Do you understand what this curse means for you?''" (Switch)
*"''Then farewell, you dumbbells! Wheee hee hee hee hee!''"

===Chest Demon 3===
*"''Hold up! Hey! Who's there? I just heard a voice!''"
*"''There's no way that people could be here! Seriously, that's just so unlikely!''"
*"''...Huh? What's that [[Mario|you]] say? You've seen a [[Black chest|chest]] like this before? Get outta here!''"
*"''No, no, no! I'm not like those chests, I promise! Look at my eyes. Tell me I'm lying.''"
*"''I'm not, seriously! Just get me out of here! [[Mario|You]]'ll see! Don't make me beg!''"
*"''...What? Come on. [[Mario|You]] know how ridiculous you sound right now? I'm laughing in here.''"
*"''[[Mario|You]] honestly think I'm going to curse you when I get out? CURSE you?''"
*"''Well, I did plan on doing SOMETHING to [[Mario|you]], but it's not so much a curse as a... Well, a really wonderful new ability that will allow [[Mario|you]] to go to special places... Doesn't that sound nice?''"
*"''Aw, come on, please? Just find the [[Black Key|key]] and open the chest, OK? I know it's here somewhere, I just can't go look for it myself. 'Cause I'm in here. So pretty, pretty please? ♡''" (GCN)
**"''Aw, come on, please? Just find this key and open the chest, OK? I know it's near this town somewhere, I just can't go look for it muself. 'Cause I'm in here. So pretty, pretty please?''" (Switch)
*"''Wait, is that... Oh my, oh my! You already found the key! Oh, happy day!''"
*"''What? No way!''"
*"''Oh! Thank goodness!!! [[Mario|You]]'re going to let me out! Oh, happy day!''"
*"''WHEE HEE! FOOOOOLS!''"
*"''What were [[Mario|you]] expecting? Did you think a lovely lady would pop out or something?''"
*"''Now I'm going to hit [[Mario|you]] with the king of curses, the cursiest curse ever!''"
*"''Fear my terrible power! [[Mario|You]] will know the pain of having your body roll up!''"
*"''BE CUUUUUUUURSED!''"
*"''Whee hee hee hee hee! Now [[Mario|you]]'re cursed, loser! Savor your suffering!''"
*"''When this curse strikes [[Mario|you]], you won't even be able to walk! That's how awful it is!''" (GCN)
**"''When this curse strikes you, you won't even be able to walk! You'll be forced to roll around as a tacky tube!''" (Switch)
*"''Whee hee hee hee hee! [[Mario|Your]] suffering amuses me! And so I laugh!''"
*"''Now show me [[Mario|your]] cursed plight so I can laugh all the more!''"
*"''Just press and hold {{button|gcn|R}}, then rotate {{button|gcn|Stick}} repeatedly!''" (GCN)
**"''Just press and hold {{button|switch|zr}}, then rotate {{button|switch|leftstick}} repeatedly!''" (Switch)
*"''Whee hee hee hee hee! [[Mario|Your]] pathetic misery thrills me to the core!''"
*"''[[Mario|You]] must roll around like a silly cardboard tube! Oh, how you'll be laughed at!''" (GCN)
*"''Now... Do [[Mario|you]] understand the depth of your own agony?''" (GCN)
*"''Whee hee hee hee hee! Press {{button|gcn|B}} to return to normal! Don't forget, [[Mario|mush-brain]]!''" (GCN)
**"''When you're in that form, you must roll everywhere, like some embarrassingly extruded wheel! I want to get a good, long look at you in this pitiful form! Now roll! Roll like a dropped butterscotch on a sidewalk!''" (Switch)
**"''Whee hee hee hee hee! Well? Do you see how pitiful and tubular you are? When the suffering becomes too much, press {{button|switch|B}} to revert to your normal self! Don't forget!''" (Switch)
**"''So tell me... do you now understand your eternal, cylindrical agony?''" (Switch)
*"''I leave you to suffer, fools! Whee hee hee hee hee!''"

===Chest Demon 4===
*"''YORK!''"
*"''Oh, sweet, sweet salvation!''"
*"''I thought no one would ever come! I had given up!''"
*"''...What's that?''"
*"''Spare you the prologue and just curse [[Mario|you]] already?''"
*"''Now... How did [[Mario|you]] know I was gonna do that?''"
*"''No seriously, hang on a sec'! Can't [[Mario|you]] just listen to my spiel for a little bit?''"
*"''I've been locked here forever, bored stiff, doing NOTHING but practice this speech!''"
*"''...Huh? I'm already the fourth cursing chest [[Mario|you]]'ve met? Are you serious?''"
*"''So...[[Mario|you're]] saying you know exactly how this is all going to turn out?''"
*"''Man, talk about a raw deal! [[Mario|You]]'re a twisted little guy, you know that?''"
*"''OK, fine, fine, fine, FINE! I get the picture, okay?''"
*"''Sheesh! All I wanted was to see the face of some unlucky soul when I popped out...''"
*"''Is that so much to ask? No. Anyway, what are [[Mario|you]] waiting for? Just open it, already.''"
*"''You know what the [[Black Key|key]] looks like, [[Mario|Mr. Seen-It-All-Already]]! Some ghost here has it...''"
*"''So just beat him, get [[Black Key|it]], and we'll get this farce over with. Come on, now, I'm waiting!''"
*"''Yeah, yeah. Whoop-de-doo. [[Mario|You]] got [[Black Key|the key]]. Party time. Now let me out, already.''"
*"''Man... All this time waiting, just to get a jaded little creep like you...''"
*"''All right. Here we go... Since [[Mario|you]]'re just itching to get this over with...''"
*"''A-HEM!''"
*"''WHEE HEE! FOOOOOLS!''"
*"''You dopes fell right into my absolutely brilliant trap! And now you will SUFFER!''"
*"''Oh, yeah! I am so EVIL! Bathe in the foul, awful... ...Wait, what was next?''"
*"''Oh, yeah! You fools will be cursed forever for your appalling stupidity!''"
*"''You will rue the day you opened this chest of DOOM! Now, you wretched guy!''"
*"''B-E C-U-R-S-E-D!!''"
*"''Whee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, but good! SUFFER! SUFFER! SUFFER!''"
*"''Wait. That's maybe too much. Are you all right? That didn't really hurt, did it?''"
*"''Whee hee hee hee hee! Good! Squirm and suffer like socially awkward worms!''"
*"''From now on, in certain places, if you press {{button|gcn|Y}}, you'll turn into a paper boat!''" (GCN)
**"''From now on, in certain places, if you press {{button|switch|Y}}, you'll turn into a paper boat!''" (Switch)
*"''Isn't that just GRUESOME?!?''"
*"''Just try it out so I can see the depth of your humiliation! Feel the terror of your fate!''"
*"''When you stand on one of these Boat Panels, the panel will feel your curse and glow!''"
*"''Yes, stand here, slime! Feel the pain! And press {{button|gcn|Y}}! Become a paper boat!''" (GCN)
**"''Yes, stand here, slime! Feel the pain! And press {{button|switch|Y}}! Become a paper boat!''" (Switch)
*"''Whee hee hee hee hee! Oh, yes, such suffering!''"
*"''Do you feel the horror? Now you're a piddly little boat! Whee hee hee hee!''"
*"''You float on the water! People will laugh at you! You will be spit upon!''"
*"''...But it only works in certain places, so don't worry, it's not too bad.''"
*"''You can control your paper-boat self with {{button|switch|leftstick}}! I will allow you to be the master of your shameful buoyancy!''" (Only on Switch)
*"''When you want to return to normal, approach the panel and press {{button|gcn|Y}}!''" (GCN)
*"''Now try it, worm!''" (GCN)
**"''When you want to unboat yourself, approach the panel and press {{button|switch|Y}}. Try it now!''" (Switch)
*"''Yes! Your pain is like a tasty banquet to me! Now, do you understand your doom?''"
*"''Then off with you, you jaded, cursed boat guy!''"
*"''Oh, and hey, listen... Thanks for letting me do my thing. I feel better.''"

==[[Blooey]]==
*"''Hey there, I'm Blooey. ...And [[Luigi|this guy]] is a total liar! Don't listen to him!''"
*"''[[Mario|You]] heard his story, right? Well, he did TRY to throw me, but he completely tripped!''"
*"''And what happens? I end up landing in lava! LAVA, man! You think that feels good?''"
*"''Thanks to him, you can stick a fork in me! I'm well done! My pale skin's crispified!''"
*"''I'll NEVER forgive this guy! I'm gonna make him pay if it takes my whole lifetime!''"
*"''That's the ONLY reason I'm still hanging around with him! YOU'LL PAY, LUIGI!''"
*"''Hey! [[Mario|You]]! Remember me? It's me, Blooey!''"
*"''Maaaan, that last battle was hairy! [[Mario|You]] have no idea!''"
*"''I was burnt to a crisp, but I was actually kinda relieved, If [[Mario|you]] can believe that!''"
*"''But if [[Mario|you]] want the whole story, you should just ask [[Luigi]] here! Wahahaha!

==[[Blooper]]==
*"''Bloop! BLOOOOOOOOOOOOP! (Ouch! That HURT!)''"
*"''Bloobloobloobloop! (Who just up and whacks someone's tootsies like that?)''"
*"''Bloobloop! BLOOOP! (Someone with some serious moxie, that's who!)''"
*"''Bloobloop! Bloobloobloop! (Would you look at that! It's [[Mario|some saucy mustached guy]]!)''"
*"''Bloopity bloop! Blooooo! ([[Mario|He]]'s in a WORLD of hurt!)''"
*"''BlooblooblooblooblooBLOOP! (I'll give [[Mario|him]] a taste of the old tentacle trample!)''"
*"''BLUH-BLOOOOOOOP!''"

==[[Boo]]==
*"''My friends have all been taken away...So lonely...''"
*"''My friends are all gone...I'm so very lonely...''"
*"''Don't leave me alone…''"

==[[Bootler]]==
*"''[[Lady Bow]], your beauty is like the song of a nightingale in the evening.''"
*"''Indeed... I feel you've grown into a fine young girl who'd make your ancestors proud!''"

==[[Bowser]]==
*''"Gra ha ha har! Bowser, the mighty Koopa king, has arrived! Hold your applause, minions! But now that I'm here... [[Kammy Koopa|Kammy]]! You crusty old hag! Why did you summon me?"''
*"''Well? I'm dying to hear the rest of [[Hammer Bro|your]] hilarious story, Mr. Comedian! Do share!"''
*"''Ah... MAN, I'm attractive! Every time I look at this, I'm overwhelmed by its coolness! When I take over the world, I'm gonna stick these statues all OVER the place! Yeah!''"
*"''Uh...super. In that case, I order you to do some sit-ups, Tubby.''"
*"''Boy... Do I even HAVE a less handsome side? Any way you look at this, it's perfect! When this world is mine, these statues are gonna be mandatory in all households!''"
*"''Wow... What a profile! Although...this thing could use a good dusting... Huh? It looks like this eye is a little loose... Incredible! The statue's eye is a jewel! I got the Bowser Jewel! ...Just kidding.''"
*"''I bet you are, [[Kammy Koopa]]! Now, out with it! Why have you called me here?''""
*''"Pbbbthbtth! Am I Mario's baby–sitter? I don't care what he's doing! Are you going to call me every time that guy blows his nose, or what? Sheesh!"''
*"''Tuh-Treasure?!?''"
*''"The [[Crystal Stars]], you say? They sound like good world–conquering tools! I want 'em! Hmm... Yes... Very good... Continue researching this for me, you brainy hag, you."''
*''"Do I... I LOVE Fried Eggs! LOVE'em!"''
*''"Gag... Ugh! I almost threw up just now! I can't stand fried eggs!"''
*''"But...what a weird question. Why do you ask?"''
*''"AIRHEAD!!! A picnic?!? You MORON! This is no time for fun! See, THIS is why my evil plans always derail! Because you clods always goof off! AAARGH!"''
*"''HUHHH-WWWHHHAAATTT?!? Tell me you're lying, Kammy! How? When? WHERE? Who'd do such a thing? Besides me?''"
*''"Under NO circumstances is ANYONE allowed to kidnap her without MY say–so!!! I will NOT stand for this! I'm going to [[Rogueport]], NOW! I've got to kidnap her back!"''
*"''I'm pretty sure it's just up ahead here...''"
*"''Good! Yes, very good. Then I'm off! These fools don't know what's coming!''"
*"''Ready to roll!''"
*"''Lemme at 'em!''"
*"''Inconceivable!''"
*"''I'm on fire!''"
*"''I'm hungry!''"
*"''Next time!''"
*"''Ain't over yet!''"
*"''Charge!''"
*"''Good to go!''"
*"''Relax!''"
*"''Hoo... I'm tired.''"
*"''Still in it!''"
*"''Rampage time!''"
*"''Eh... OK.''"
*"''Go time!''"
*"''Feel it!''"
*"''I'm sleepy...''"
*"''Timing, baby!''"
*"''Rhythm, baby!''"
*"''Feeling good!''"
*"''Concentrate!''"
*"''GAAAAAAAH!''"
*"''Too close!''"
*"''Last...gasp!''"
*"''Break time.''"
*"''Here goes!''"
*"''Once more!''"
*"''I'm still OK!''"
*"''Never give up!''"
*"''Gotta do it!''"
*"''Hmmph! What a wuss. Yes, hide, chickens! I have no need for any of you! What I do need, though, is Princess Peach. Now, where is she? Tell me this instant!''"
*"''Bingo! Princess Peach! Man, that was easy!''"
*''"I've found you, my princess. I, Bowser, the mighty Koopa king, offer my greeting!"''
*"''Now, now! None of that silent treatment! You're coming to my [[Bowser's Castle|castle]] with me!''"
*"''Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha! I see! I see! How refined! How elegant! Awesome! I suppose I could live with a silent princess! It might even have its perks, you know?''"
*"''P-POSTER???''"
*''"Great. Just great. Now I look like the huge, mighty king of GUYS WHO TALK TO POSTERS!"''
*"''MAAAAAAAAARIOOOOOOO!!''"
*"''Word on the street was that some mustached doofus was in [[Glitzville]]...and lookee here! Talk about perfect timing! And now all these folks get to watch me murdalize you!''"
*"''Gwaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha! I am gonna DESTROY you! And I have witnesses!''"
*"''Owf! Well, I'd expect nothing less from you, Mario! Figures you'd get some licks in!''"
*"''GAAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA! I KNEW I would rock you! Oh, that's GOTTA sting! Man, I'm feeling about a million times better! I'm gonna go grab a soak.''"
*"''AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!''"
*"''Gruuuuuuuuuuurgh...''"
*"''Stupid, cheating Mario... Who would've thought that fool would be in Glitzville...''"
*"''Uh, no! Nothing at all, as far as you know! Hey! Did you see those little bite-size shrimps? What were those things?''"
*''"You're BOTH too old! HAR!"''
*''"It's hag vs. hag! Awesome!"''
*"''Uh... Nope! Nothing! Let's move on, shall we? You! [[Puni elder|Elder hag-thing]]! Where's the Crystal Star? And don't try pulling rank again: your answer, not your age, will determine your fate!''"
*"''Huh-WHAT?!?''"
*"''That jackal! Both Princess Peach and the Crystal Stars belong to me! To MEEEEE!!! If I find him, I'm going to finish him off once and for all! I SWEAR IT!''"
*"''Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Forget that wimpy blimpy! I'll be riding [[Koopa Clown Car|THIS]], baby! I snuck into Glitzville once before, so I know the way. No problem-o! You go easy on your old limbs and take the slow ride on the blimp, Gramma!''"
*"''Huh? That don't sound good... What's that warning light? Oh, don't tell me... AAARRGGHH!!!''"
*"''Watery ears!''"
*"''Beware [[Blooper|squids]]!''"
*"''Haaaack... Oooooooog... A-CHOO! That was terrible... I gotta get in shape...''"
*"''...Swimming.''"
*"''... GRAAARGH!!!''"
*"''It was terrible! You hear me? I swallowed a dang Blooper! I wanted to have FUN! But forget it! It's over! Go get me some solid info on Princess Peach and the Crystal Stars! NOW!!!''"
*"''Bleck! What is [[Twilight Town|this place]]? Why is the light so weird here? It's spooking me out!''"
*"''Sounds good to me, Haggy! Let's go to it!''"
*"''Huh? Huh? Whuzzat? There's something in the grass! Yes, right there! I got the Twilight Blade! ............ I'm just joking. Sucker.''"
*''"Uh, actually, it's [[Lord Crump|YOU]] who's gonna spill every bit of info out of your big, ugly head! Yeah. Sorry about that. And if you hesitate at all, I'll show you no mercy!"''
*"''INCOMING!!!''"
*"''Huh? That was it? [[Superbombomb|That]] was your big weapon? It didn't even go off! GWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! This is how you do it, amateur! Watch and learn!''"
*"''Grrrrmph... Hrrrgh... Bluh. I've got no Crystal Stars... I can't find Princess Peach... Twilight Town was... Well, it wasn't exactly glorious. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!? If this keeps up, Mario's gonna steal everything from my grasp! AS USUAL!!!''"
*"''Hmph! About time! Well done! This is where it all turns around for me! Definitely!''"
*"''No problem! Direct me there! I'll blast us through! I'm Bowser, baby!''"
*"''Puh-lease! No problem! I felt right at home! But...where are we now?''"
*"''Hello! Could it be? Aw, YEAH! A Crystal Star! Advantage, Bowser!''"
*"''Grraggh! Who's there???''"
*"''Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, look! What an adorable little weakling! Hi, [[Rawk Hawk|fella]]!''"
*"''Gra ha ha ha ha! Aww! Now you're sleeping! I KNEW you were a weakling!''"
*"''Whoa! The Crystal Star!''"
*"''Wh-WHAT?!? Speak English!''"
*''"I don't know anybody named Gonzales! Stop speaking in riddles, you chicken nugget!"''
*''"CRUD!!! Who do I have to flatten to get a Crystal Star?!? Who?!? WHOOOO?!?"''
*''"Well, we're here! Now where's this stupid [[Poshley Sanctum]]? A Crystal Star's there, right?"''
*''"Great! About time something worked out for old Bowser! In we go!"''
*''"Wh–What? That's... disgusting! Get away from me, psycho! You can't have my horns!"''
*''"...Whoa. I don't have a CLUE what you're talking about! You people scare me. Seriously."''
*"''Gwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am Bowser! BOWSER!!! Evil King Extraordinaire!''"
*''"Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am Bowser, businessman of legend! Fear my accounting!"''
*"''Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am the great [[Koopa Koot]]! All-Time Ancient Babbler!''"
*''"DARN IT!"''
*''"Whoa, baby! Awesome! It opened! Talk about lucky! I guess rage really pays!"''
*''"Yes! This is it, Haggy!!! This is finally it!"''
*''"Gwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! At last, I've gotten my mitts on a Crystal Star! YESSS!!!"''
*''"What are you implying? I'm no little thief, I'm..."''
*''"Bowser, the Remorseless King of Evil! So I'll take what I want! And I want THIS!"''
*''"Bowser, the Shadow Thief! Not A thief, the BEST thief! I'll be taking this, thanks!"''
*''"The great [[Koopa Koot]]! I'm taking this! Mess with me, and I'll bore you to death!"''
*''"Whuh-WHAAAAAAAAT?!? A FAKE?!?"''
*''"You have got to be kidding me. You mean to tell me that LUIGI beat me here?"''
*''"ARRGH! Those Mario Bros. are the most annoying brothers of all time!"''
*''"Huh-WHAAAAAAAAT?!?! [[The Thousand-Year Door]]...? What in the heck is that?"''
*''"YAARGHH!!! Then I'm going there, too! IMMEDIATELY! And I'm gonna RUIN Mario!"''
*"''GWAAAAAAAR! Ooooooooooooooooooooooog...''"
*"''Urrrgh... That was a surprise... I didn't think I'd fall... Have I put on weight?''"
*"''GWAAAAAAAAAAARF! Why is MARIO here?!?''"
*''"I don't know what's going on here, but I'm gonna put an end to it RIGHT NOW! Mario! First, I pound you. Then, I take the princess! And then, the treasure!''" 
*"''Gwar har har har har har! Aww, all worn out from battle, Mario? Yes! Easy pickings! Today's the day I flush a plumber down the drain!"''
*''"Gwar har har har har har! What's a finale without a Bowser appearance, huh? A cruddy finale, that's what! Now, hold still while I trounce you and take my Peach!"''
*''"Gwar har har har har har! I sure do feel good today! I am FEELING IT!!!''"
*"''OOOF! So, Mario... You still have some fight in you! Not bad!''"
*''"Graaaaaaaaaaaagh! No more! Kammy! Take care of this, you burly hag, you..."''
*''"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!''"
*"''WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! How could this happen?!?''"
*"''Mrrrrrrrrrgh...''"

==[[Bristle]]==
*"''Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! [[Mario|You]]'re gonna be coleslaw, kid! And that ain't good!''"
*"''Lemme ask you something-how does it feel to be coleslaw? Icky?''"

==[[Bub]]==
*"''Wow! You're big, Mister! What's your name?''"
**(Evil King Extraordinaire)
**''<big><big>"Yuh-YEEEK!"</big></big>''
**(Businessman of Legend)
**"''Oh, a businessman? Like… Business trips, bribes, and brown noses! Oh my! Wow. Tough life, huh? So, mister, are you in charge of the coffeemaker or what?''"
**(Koopa Koot)
**"''Uh… Yeah… Right… Mister, that name stinks!''"

==[[Bub-ulber]]==
*"''Top of the morning! 'Tis I, Bub-ulber. I am as happy as can be! Why? Simply because I'm surrounded by flowers!''"
*"''Most flowers keep their tongues still, but make no mistake, they understand us. ...Which is why I ask that you always speak kindly to our floral friends. Deal?''"

==[[Bumpty]]==
*"''Oh, hello there, guy! Poshley Heights is nice on a warm afternoon, eh? What's that? You're a great and evil king, are you? Reeeeeeeeeeally… Yah… Y'know, guy, I think maybe you got a little too much sun, eh?''"

==[[Businessman]]==
*"''Huh? I shouldn't give up so easily? Yeah, maybe you're right… OK! I'll do it! I just have to convince the Fat Dog guy! I'm on it! I won't leave this place until I convince him! Wow! Thanks for all your help. Here's your reward. What? Your inventory's full! Well, I'll leave it here, and you can pick it up anytime.''"

==[[Chain Chomp]]==
*"''ARF! ARF! ARF! ARF! ARF!''"
*"''YIPE! YIPE! YIPE! YIPE!''"

==[[Chef Shimi]]==
*"''HELLO! I am Chef Shimi, the culinary expert! Glad to make your complaintance!''"
*"''So sorry! Cheep Cheep is my first language, you know.''"
*"''Today's lunch is so amazing it will make your tongue cry out in shame!''"
*"''Please do taste it, so that my passion does not wither alone in a pot of loneliness!''"
*"''No! My heart cries out in the salty pain of misery! That was my masterbeast!''"
*"''And now it is gone, and I am left with tears of horror in my eyes!''"
*"''A mystery, you just said? ...And, uh, um, er, exactly... what kind of dish is that?''"

==[[Cleftor]]==
*"''Grack! Cleftor no like make friend with [[Mario|mustache]].''"
*"''No lonely... [[King K|Him]] too weak... Now him not here. Sound normal to Cleftor.''"
*"''Grack! Mustache better than Cleftor when Cleftor was Mustache's age.''"
*"''This no take long. This end in pain for mustache.''"
*"''Pathetic mustache.''"

==[[Cortez]]==
*"''Enough! I grow tired of this spooky 'OoOoO' business! I am a pirate, blast it! Pirates do not MOAN! I am a cold-blooded villain who robs innocents of life and loot, not a crying ghost!''"
*"''I'll turn [[Mario|your]] mustache into a bone polisher, amigo! Yohohohohohohohohoho!''"
*"''Now you will see the true might of my spirit form!''"
*"''Yohohohohohohohohoho! You are foolish, amigo! For I am not dead! Well, technically, I was already dead...but my spirit endures, tied to my treasure! So you cannot do anything to me! I do not live, amigo! Still, guarding this treasure for hundreds of years is almost as boring as death!''"
*"''Huh?!? You want [[Sapphire Star|this]], amigo?''"
*"''This [[Sapphire Star|little rock]] over here? Are you serious?''"
*"''Well, that's no big deal... Here, take it.''"
*"''What do I need one or two extra gems for? I did not really like that one, anyway.''"
*"''Well, that should do it! If you don't need anything else, away with you, amigo!''"
*"''...Oh, what? It is you again? Did you forget something?''"
*"''WHAAAT? What would possess me to lend [[Flavio|you]] my ship?''"
*"''...And who are [[Flavio|you]], anyway?''"
*"''What are [[Flavio|you]] talking about, muchacho? I do not rent [[Black Skull|this ship]] for pleasure cruises!''"
*"''And even if I would lend it to you...[[Black Skull|this ship]] is magical, and it cannot move now...''"
*"''The key to powering [[Black Skull|this ship]] is the mystical [[Skull Gem]]...''"
*"''[[Flavio|YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!]] You have the [[Skull Gem]]!''"
*"''...Old friend? Your ancestors stole that [[Skull Gem|gem]] from me, you strutting peacock!''"
*"''You must be very brave or very, VERY foolish to ask such a thing of me!''"
*"''I should turn you into a pinata and throw a party on the beach!''"
*"''RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGH! You rattle my bones, Senor Peacock!''"
*"''.........Very well. I accept your bargain, amigo! Now, be very careful with that gem!''"
*"''Ahhhh! Now my precious [[Black Skull]] will sail the seas again!''"
*"''I was getting quite annoyed by the sound of cannons outside, anyway!''"
*"''Now I can really stretch my bones and wreak havoc on the seas like in the old days!''"
*"''It's been a millennium since I gazed out upon the sea! Come! To the open waters!''"
*"''[[Lord Crump|You]] fire cannons here...without my permission? You have nerve, mortal!''"
*"''Hear my voice, [[Ember|spirits]]! Take [[X-Naut|their]] [[X-Ship|ship]] and show them the meaning of fear!''"
*"''[[Mario|You]]... You have distinguished yourself in battle, amigo!''"
*"''You are worthy in my eyes! You may use this ship, the [[Black Skull]], anytime you like''"
*"''Ready, amigos? Cast off!''"
*"''That reminds me, amigo... If you ever get the urge to return to [[Keelhaul Key]], just say the word, okay?''"
*"''I will send you to the island faster than the fastest winds blow, comprende?''"

==[[Craw-Daddy]]==
*"''Foolish mortals... I will drag you through the gate to the [[netherworld]]!''"

==[[Dark Bones]]==
*"''Let those who would disturb [[Shadow Queen|her]] sleep fall into the depths of endless darkness...''"

==[[Dark Craw]]==
*"''Foolish mortals... I will drag you through the gate to the netherworld!''"
*"''Your screams echo in the endless void...''"

==[[Darkly]]==
*"''Hi there! The name's Darkly. Do you guys need something?''"
*"''Huh? [[Mario|You]] want to know how to get through the [[pipe]] to [[Twilight Town]]?''"
*"''Couldn't be easier! [[Mario|You]] just need to have something that has your name written on it. Don't you have anything that has your name written on it? C'mon, everyone does!''"
*"''No? Really? OK. Hang on. I'll write it for you. What's your name?''"
*"''[[Mario]], huh? OK... I'll write it here on the seat of your overalls. M-A-R-I-O, right?''"
*"''There! Perfect-a-mundo! While I'm at it, I'll write your [[partner]]'s name, too. What's your name?''"
*"''I don't know what errand is taking [[Mario|you]] to [[Twilight Town]], but I hope it goes well. I'll be rooting for you!''"

==[[Dazzle]]==
*"''My name is Dazzle! And I collect [[Star Piece (Paper Mario series)|Star Pieces]]! The more I collect, the happier I am! So, [[Mario|guy]], if you have any Star Pieces, I'll trade you my [[Badge|badges]] for them! Yay! Come on! Let's trade!''"
*"''Hey, [[Mario|guy]]! Come on, now! Can't we trade some more?''"
*"''What? [[Mario|You]] changed your mind? So...LAME!!!''"

==[[Doe T.]]==
*''Ah... Now, this is a problem.''"
*"''...Eh? What's that [[Mario|you]] say? Ah! You could help me?''"
*"''Excellent! Just marvelous! I was just about to give up on the whole deal.''"
*"''I came to [[Boggly Woods|the woods]] just to see the [[Great Tree]], but the thugs up ahead scared me. Contending with the goons is not part of my repertoire, so to speak, so I've stalled here. Do [[Mario|you]] suppose you could give all the goons up ahead a proper trashing for me?''"
*"''Well, I'll be waiting here until [[Mario|you]] do. Thanks in advance, chum.''"
*"''Done already, eh? Marvelous! I can finally see the [[Great Tree]]! I'm in [[Mario|your]] debt, sir! It isn't much, but, I hope this will do for your troubles. It's my change for lunch...''"
*"''Perhaps I'll see you up ahead.''"
*"''Ah, the [[Great Tree]]... As you watch us folishly continue to repet history. What could you think of us? You can do nothing but stand and watch our ignorance. No! What rot! To assume that a tree can do nothing! That only proves my own foolishness!''"

==[[Don Pianta]]==
*"''What's wid you, [[Mario|wise guy]]? I ain't too jolly today ... If you got a beef, spit it out quick or dis is gonna hurt.''"
*"''Ex-CUSE me? [[Mario|You]] want a ... You want me to give you a ticket for da blimp? See, now, to me, dat's funny ... You a stand-up comedian? No? You oughta be. You got some nerve askin' me for dat. I'm Don Pianta! I make cryin' babies weep!''"
*"''Not so fast, boys. I like dis [[Mario|kid's]] gumption. He just came to talk, no? Dat ain't a crime. So we talk. You boys can wait 'til we're done before you rough him up, you got it? So, I gotta assume you gotta reason for wantin' a ticket for da blimp. Out wid it!''"
*"''What's dat? You wanna help some broad what got herself kidnapped? An' to rescue dis dame, you're out collectin' da [[Crystal Stars]]?''"
*"''Everybody, just ... shut it. I don't care if da treasure is real or not. Get me? But I tell ya, I can't help but like a guy who wants to rescue some skirt he fell for. I made my decision! You do me a little...favor...an' you get your blimp ticket. Sounds fair, right?''"
*"''It's easy. It's nothin'. It's less dan nothin'. See, da thing is... [[Francesca|My own daughter]]...eloped wit' one of my young...associates. Dey vanished...but it wasn't too long ago dat dey did. Dey oughta still be nearby. You gotta find my daughter, Francesca, an' dis... [[Frankie]]...an' bring dem both here. If you are unable to bring dem here, then alls you gotta do is tell me where dey are. Then I shall settle dis matter quickly, an' wid what is known as extreme prejudice.''"
*"''QUIET, YOU! It's 'cause you lugs can't find her dat I gotta swallow my pride an' ask dis guy!!! I hope you dopes ain't makin' complaints 'bout my decision. You makin' complaints?''"
*"''Good. I'm glad we're all of full understandin' for one another.''"
*"''So it's settled, yeah? Find my daughter an' her...friend. Den come see me. [[Francesca]] and [[Frankie]] look like dis:''"
*"''An' just so we're clear here... If you don't find [[Francesca|my daughter]], your luck may turn terrible...''"
*"''Oh. Look who's come back. Da proverbial mustache. You gonna brighten my mood? So give. What you got? You know da whereabouts of dese two runaways?''"
*(Sure do. And I'll tell you.)
**"''Oh, is dat a true fact? Rogueport Harbor, eh? Well done. I appreciate dis favor you done for me. I'll prepare your blimp tickets.''"
**"''Hey! Hey! You two nimrods! Da kids are at da harbor! NOW GO GET 'EM!''"
*(Uh... I can't tell you that.)
**"''What? I must be goin' deaf. Did you just say to me dat you couldn't tell me? You come waltzin' in here an' say that to me? To ME!? Do I look like a sucker to you?''"
**"''I warned you, wise guy! Fine! We're gonna need a mop to pick up what's left of you!''"
*"''[[Frankie]]! So! Back you come, head hung low an' wit' your tail between your legs!''"
*"''Oh look. Da [[Mario|proverbial mustache]].''"
*"''Hey! It's [[Mario|you]] again! Y'know, the sky goin' dark was nothin' at all.''"
*"''It was great for us! You shouda seen the way people were blowin' their dough!''"

==[[Doopliss]]==
*"''Hey, hang on, there, [[Mario|Slick]]! What are you doing, interrupting my 'ME' time?''"
*"''Who're you calling a monster? What's your problem? Why do you need to pick a fight? I'm busy thinking up new pranks and stuff! It's not easy, either! Now get lost! ...Of course, you guys WON'T. No way [[party|you ninnies]] go away quietly, am I right?''"
*"''Well, all right, then, Slick. Fine. Yes. I turned the villagers into pigs. Big deal."''
*"''Well... You know, they're all so depressing and boring and dimwitted all the time... So instead of wallowing in gloom, I figured they might as well wallow in mud! HA! Now they're pigs, get it? Isn't that just sooo perfect? It's like irony, or something. So...what? You got a problem with that? I guess you do. So let's play, Slick!"''
*"''Yuk yuk yuk! I guess I'll get down and dirty if you're gonna play like that, Slick!"''
*"''Hmm... Time to regroup, here. So, you think you're a couple of heavies, huh? Well then, my dear friends... If you thought changing folks into pigs was impressive... Then you're gonna love this! I've got something very special for you here..."''
*"''How do you like them apples? Now that's MAGIC, people! Now you're fighting yourself! Ha! I'm a dang genius!''"
*"''Yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk! Hold on... Wha... Wha... Huh? You beat me?"''
*"''Hey, what's up, Slick? Been waiting for you!"''
*"''Yeah, you're [[Mario]], right? What a great name! And I really dig this body, too! MAN can I [[jump]] now! And hey! You're so popular around here! I get mobbed! I just love being you! Yeah, it's so cool, I don't think I ever wanna stop!''"
*"''So, you figured it out by now, right, Slick? Your body and name belong to me now! See, I've got the power to change my shape into anyone I want... It comes in handy. But to REALLY be someone, I need to take their name and body, too! Which means you turn into a shadow and can't use your name!"''
*"''Tough break, Slick! That's not enough, either... I aim to erase you for good!"''
*"''I guess it'd be unsporting to ruin you without a challenge...so I'll give you one chance. If you guess my real name, then I'll give you back your name and body! What do you say, Slick? This'll be fun, right? Now, guess! What's my name? Hit me with your best shot!"''
*"''Wrongamundo, little nobody! Who'd name their kid that? Prepare for doom, Slick! Yuk yuk yuk! And don't even think about running from battle, hear? NO RUNNING!''"
*"''Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... That's no fun..."''
*"''I would've done this back in town, but that wouldn't have looked very good, would it?"''
*"''All right, can the chatter! Here's the deal: you get your chance, then I stomp you! If you guess my real name, then you get your body and name back. Fire away, No-Name!"''
*"''Hey, Slick! Time to cancel your magazine subscriptions, 'cause you're getting erased! But first, please amuse me with one more guess... It really gives me joy to watch you squirm in futility as you try to guess my name! So...hit me one more time!"''
*"''Wha... What did you just say?!?"''
*"''It can't be..."''
*"''NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW?"''
*"''I'm...feeling...faint..."''
*"''Hey, you again, eh, Slick? You're pretty stubborn to follow me all the way here!"''
*"''Fine. Fine. I see. I get it. Let's just put an end to this, shall we?"''
*"''All right, [[party|kids]], put on your fighting gloves! Uh... Woo hoo! It's-a me!''"
*"''Very good, my loyal ones. How dare this nameless nobody challenge the great Mario?!?''"
*"''What's going on here, huh? Fight with your girlfriend? Well, don't expect any sympathy from us, ghoulies!"''
*"''Yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk! See? Your friends ditch you because you don't have the charisma of me, [[Mario|Super Mario]]!"''
*"''Ughhhh...''"
*"''Gulp! How dare you try to do this to the great [[Mario|Super Mario]]?!? How DARE you?!?"''
*"''Graaaack! I've almost had it.. [[Mario|Super Mario]]'s hurting..."''
*"''No... Why... HOW?!?"''
*"''Rats! YOU KILLJOYS!!!"''
*"''Hey, guy. Yeah, you know this, but I'm the absurdly famous movie star, [[Zip Toad]]. I'm gonna shoot this little multibillion-dollar art flick in [[Poshley Heights]], yo. Oh, and, uh, I only sign autographs for cute chicks. Sorry about that, guy.''"
*"''I'm dying for a taco, [[Chef Shimi|guy]]! Couldn't you just whip up some grub real quick? What? [[Heff T.|They]] took the whole pot? Really? The whole deal? ...This isn't in my contract.''"
*"''WHAT? A MYSTERY?''"
*"''Oooooooooooooooh...''"
*"''Aw, this scene is for total squares! Forget you guys! I'm going back to my room.''"
*"''So...lame...''"
*"''Hey, thanks, babe.''"
*"''Hey, guy. Getting falsely accused is a bummer, right? Don't I know it!''"
*"''What does that little [[Bub]] kid want as a present? Uh............................................ Well, I'm sure he'd be stoked to have an autograph of mine, right, guy? Oh, man, don't they all? I can't do it, unfortunately. I only sign for chicks.''"
*"''Zow! Where'd you come from? You won't me catching me that easily, guy!''"
*"''YOOOOWCH!''"
*"''Curses! I almost got away with it by getting off at [[Riverside Station]], too...''"
*"''Bleah...''"
*"''Hey, I think not, Slick! You think you can hold me? No way! [[Beldam]] would flip if I let that happen!''"
*"''This whole [[Zip Toad]] thing was just a means to an end! It's me, suckers! Doopliss! [[Beldam]]'s plan to gooify [[Mario]] didn't exactly work, so I'll be cutting and running now! I'll leave the rest to Beldam! See ya, suckers!''"
*"''Hey! Don't leave without me!"''
*"''What kept you, Mario?!? ...Well, it doesn't matter now. I don't think they're in the vicinity anymore. They must have found another way to get through [[The Thousand-Year Door|the door]]...''"
*"''It's all come down to this! Hurry now, Mario! Hold aloft the last [[Crystal Star]]!''"
*"''At long last, the entrance to the [[Palace of Shadow]] has been opened! Before [[Princess Peach]] falls victim to [[Sir Grodus|that fiend]]... Before he takes over the world... You must rescue the princess and stop this cataclysm!''"
*"''Me? I'd just get in the way. I'll wait here and, uh, watch the door. Yes, that's it. It's all up to you, Mario. Stop their foul ambitions and save Princess Peach!''"
*"''Uh, yeah, my name's Doopliss, but...''"
*"''That's right, Slick! Eternity!''"
*"''Oh, OK... Right... Sorry...''"
*"''I said, my name's DOOPLISS!"''
*"''OK! OK! OK! OK!"''
*"''S-S-S-Sorry..."''
*"''Oh, no!''"
*"''Hnuuuurrggh...''"
*"''Hey! HEY! Hey, wait!''"

==[[Dull Bones]]==
*"''We're gonna take the skin off [[Mario|YOUR]] bones!''"
*"''Pbbbbbbbth! You need more calcium in your diets!''"

==[[Dupree]]==
*"''Ah, bonjour, [[Goombella|mademoiselle]]. Eet eez a beautiful day, no?''"
*"''No, no, no, no, no. Not you, [[Mario|Monsieur Mustache]]. I am speaking to zee [[Goombella|lovely leetle cabbage]] behind you.''"
*"''What do you say, [[Goombella|my pretty]]? Abandon [[Mario|zis dullard]] and come away with moi!''"
*"''Oh! Oh! Oh! Sacre bleu! Such brutal 'onesty! Such a sharp tongue!''"
*"''Well, I retreat for now. If you change your mind, [[Goombella|cheri]], come find me!''"

==[[Eve]]==
*"''Have you met with Podley? Not yet, I see… Please meet with Podley and ask how he feels about me. Please, Mario!''"
*"''Have you met with Podley? Really… What did he say?''"
**(Tell her the truth.)
**"''So Podley has forgotten about me… Sniff… That's fine… I guess I was just feeling nostalgic… I'll probably forget about it. You know… I have these little ones to think of…so I have plenty to keep my mind busy…''"
**(Make something up, quick!)
**"''Oh, Podley… I knew our love could never die! Thank you…but no more! I'm a different person now. Yes, a devoted mother… Just knowing he feels the same is enough for me to know joy for all of my days. Thank you so much, Mario. You've breathed new life into this old girl's heart…''"
*"''Oh, we're having a feast tonight, kids! I have special dinners from Zess T.'s shop! Mario, you have one, too! …Oh, Mario, your inventory is full… Well, I'll just leave this here for you to grab whenever you can.''"

==[[Excess Express conductor]]==
*"''Mario, won't you please look for the unticketed passenger and get that blanket back?''"
**(I don't have time)
**"''Oh, really… That's too bad… I guess I'll just huddle under a candy wrapper…''"

==[[Excess Express engineer]]==
*"''Greetings! Welcome to the Excess Express! I'm what is called the train engineer. Our opulent journey to Poshley Heights will take approximately three days. And how do you find your accommodations? Are they not incredibly splendid? Our furnishings delight the eye, but the sway of our locomotive delights all else!''"
*"''So let’s all hear it… for the Excess Express! Huzzah! Huzzah!''"
*"''What-what? A sticky, yummy threat of some kind? Are you serious? Oh, that shan't be good for business... I can't leave the controls, so can you inform the conductor at the end of the train?''"
*"''Running this train during the sunset is the high point of every day for me!''"

==[[Excess Express waitress]]==
*"''So, are you maybe ready to help me out now?''"
**(No)
**"''You are not cool.''"
*"''Gooooood moooooooorning! ☆ So, any chance you've seen my Shell Earrings anywhere?''"
*"''Did you see that Zip Toad came to last night's dinner? But I really have to say… he's like, waaaaaaaaay cuter on the big screen… Maybe they all are? ☆''"

==[[Fahr Outpost mayor]]==
*"''Now, everyone in!''"
*"''It is time! Big bomb cannon'' (GCN) / ''[[Big Bob]] cannon'' (Switch)''... FIIIRE!''"

==[[Flavio]]==
*"''And what do you want, ah? Who, me, you ask about? Ah! I am called Flavio. I am, how you say? A trader. The richest man in Rogueport. Monetary wealth gives me freedom, yes, and freedom gives me wealth of spirit! And yet...why is it that a man whose life is unchained must always long for yet more, ah? What is missing from my life? This tears at my very insides! I must know! What do I lack?''"
*"''I growl at [[Admiral Bobbery|you]] like an angry jungle beast! I ought to...''"
*"''...Um, no. Not fair. Flavio hates you all.''"
*"''What? You want me to give you the [[Chuckola Cola (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|Chuckola Cola]]? Ha! I must scoff at you!''"
*"''Yes, having my beautiful S.S. Flavion smashed to bits was not a financial boon, hm?''"

==[[Flurrie]]==
*"''Ahhh! [[Boggly Woods|These woods]] are the most wonderful in all the world. Yes, indeed!''"
*"''Building a house [[Boggly Woods|here]] was just the FINEST idea I ever did have. Oh, my, yes! ♡''"
*"''[[Boggly Woods|This place]] is so different from the bright flashbulbs of the world I'm used to...''"
*"''Such peace... This negative image of the real world soothes my body and soul.''"
*"''But what's even better...is that I, Madame Flurrie, grow ever more lovely [[Boggly Woods|here]]!''"
*"''Plus, those squishy, adorable little [[Puni]]es that live in [[the Great Tree|that tree]] are SO nice to me!''"
*"''But...I suppose if I stay [[Boggly Woods|here]] too long, I'll begin to crave hustle and bustle before long!''"
*"''Oh! Oh, my! It's happening even as I speak! Already I feel the need for drama! ♡''"
*"''That moment of exhilaration when the spotlight shines down on the stage...on me!''"
*"''Surely I was born to be...an actress for the ages! ♡''"
*"''It's settled, then. I shall rise again! But...before I make my stage comeback... I simply must whip my body and mind into shape. ♡''"
*"''I'll just have to put on some makeup and make my beauty even more beautiful.''"
*"''Wait a moment... Noooooooooooooo! It's gone! Gone I tell you! My... My...''"
*"''Eeeeek! No! Out of the question! You mustn't come in here! ♡''"
*"''Oh! Wait a moment... Those darling, squishy little footsteps... Is that you, [[Punio]]?''"
*"''Oh, it's been an AGE since I saw [[Punio|you]] last! You poor dear! Is there something you need?''"
*"''Oh... Is that all, [[Punio|dearie]]? You came all the way [[Flurrie's House|here]] just for that?''"
*"''My adorable little [[Punio]]... You know I would do anything in my power to help you.''"
*"''However, lamentably... I'm in a bit of a bind myself. I just cannot come out.''"
*"''It's somewhat embarrassing...but I never go out without [[Necklace (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|my favorite necklace]].''"
*"''I just can't find the [[Necklace (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|blessed thing]]! I suspect I dropped it on my daily constitutional.''"
*"''I'd be simply SCANDALIZED if anyone saw me without [[Necklace (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|it]], so I shan't be going out.''"
*"''I absolutely MUST have that [[Necklace (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|neckalace]] to highlight my beauty, and that's that!''"
*"''What's that? DO speak up! [[Partner|You]]! Whoever just spoke! Do you have some clue as to my necklace's whereabouts?''"
*"''Building a house [[Boggly Woods|here]] was just the FINEST idea I ever did have. Oh, my, yes! ♡''"
*"''If [[Partner|you]] do, you must help me! Please! Be a dear! Find [[Necklace (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|it]] and bring it back to me!''"
*"''If [[Partner|you]] could, then I'd be delighted to help my squishy little friend, Punio. ♡''"
*"''I'm sorry to trouble [[Mario|you]] so. ♡''"
*"''Please! [[Mario|You]] must find my precious necklace! I'm counting on you! ♡''"
*"''Oh! [[Mario|You]] delightful fellow! You've found my necklace! I'm beside myself, truly! ♡''"
*"''But...[[Mario|you]] still mustn't see me. Please, leave the necklace by the door and wait a moment.''"
*"''Oh, splendid, SPLENDID! My oh-so-ravishing necklace! I'm awash with joy! ♪''"
*"''Oh! Oh...my...word! Mario, isn't it! Are YOU my heroic little necklace hunter?''"
*"''Well! My, my, my... Aren't [[Mario|you]] a FINE specimen of a man? Yes, indeed! ♡''"
*"''I simply MUST thank [[Mario|you]] for your graciousness! ♡''"
*"''But how to do it? Hmmm... Perhaps if I...grabbed [[Mario|you]] and gave you a little sugar? ♡''"
*"''Here I come, [[Mario|handsome]]! Time to give you a proper thank-you! Pucker up! ♡''"
*"''Oh, Mario, you are just the CUTEST little thing I've ever laid eyes on! ♡''"
*"''Yes [[Mario|you]] are, and that's that. So tell me, are you truly looking for the [[Crystal Stars]]?''"
*"''The very same Crystal Stars spoken of by all the lowlifes in [[Rogueport]]?''"
*"''Mmmm... A danger-filled search for beautiful jewels... How absolutely marvelous!''"
*"''And here I was thinking how frightfully bored I was! It's time for a change!''"
*"''And besides, I do declare... That plush mustache of [[Mario|yours]] has completely swooned me!''"
*"''A man as manly as [[Mario|you]] must attract all sorts of trouble, and I want to keep you safe!''"
*"''So, I daresay I'll be joining you on this little adventure. I assume that's fine, Mario? ♡''"
*"''Excuse me? We must what? Are you a friend of Mario’s? Oh, wait… I see. And I most certainly do NOT approve!''"
*"''Oh, mercy me! Mario! You’re popular with all the girls, aren’t you?''"
*"''Well! Don’t worry, Mario! I’m not TOO jealous. What a shamelss flirt, though!''"
*"''Say, if you have a moment… Might I ask a question? We’re looking for a lovely gem called a Crystal Star… Do you know of it?''"
*"''My goodness! Would you look at that! A pipe leading down. Let’s see where it leads!''"
*"''Oh, what a PRECIOUS little thing! He hasn’t done anything wrong. Mario, we simply must go easy on the poor dear.''"
*"''Oh, what ails you, my little pudding pie? He seems so lonely, doesn’t he, Mario? Why, he looks like I do when I step into the spotlight and then forget my very first line. Oooh… Hold up, now! You know what? I believe he might wish to join us!''"
*"''My! Such wonderful drama! I imagine we have to do something now, don’t we?''"
*"''Pardon me a moment! Don’t these odd columns look somewhat familiar?''"
*"''Oh, I feel I might swoon! What was that, I wonder?''"
*"''Oh, dear me! Mario! Isn’t that the Crystal Star?''"
*"''Oh, dear! That wretched beast again! Dearie me!''"
*"''I must say, I craved exciting times, but I never expected this! Let’s go, quickly now!''"
*"''Ahem! You’ll do no such thing!''"
*"''Honestly, did you really think we'd let a wretch like [[Lord Crump|you]] escape? I DO believe you will be handing over that [[Emerald Star|Crystal Star]] and promptly exiting [[the Great Tree|this tree]]!''"
*"''Mercy me! That metal colossus is incredible! … And yet… There’s something rather odd about it… Let’s just keep our eyes peeled! Don’t be careless!''"
*"''A rousing success, Mario! How delightful!''"
*"''Oh, this shan’t be our last visit, Certainly not! But… Until then, ta-ta!''"
*"''Oh, mercy me! Sounds like some mail!''"
*"''Isn’t that precious, Mario?''"
*"''Now, my little Mario! It’s Crystal Star time!''"
*"''Oh, mercy me! The next Crystal Star has made an entrance! My, my, my! But… Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it up in the sky? What does THAT mean?''"
*"''Perhaps I’m just daft, but why would they want to seal this treasure away at all? Did they fear thieves and brigands? If not, then what?''"
*"''Hm? That’s not what?''"
*"''Frankly, please!''"
*"''Oh, yes. How inappropriate. In any case, what about the location of this Crystal Star that’s floating on the map? A floating city, you say? So, are we just supposed to sprout wings and fly there, darling? Do tell.''"
*"''Oooh! That sounds exciting! A little…on the seedy side. Show me the way!''"
*"''Mmmm… I like the sound of this Don Pianta fellow. I cannot WAIT to meet him!''"
*"''Bite your tongue! Don’t listen to that lout! The treasure is as real as I am!''"
*"''I’m not entirely sure I like the sound of this…''"
*"''Oh, whatever should we do? We have to day SOMETHING to that Don Pianta fellow… I must say, though… I don’t fancy a run of terrible luck. That would be unfortunate.''"
*"''My, my! We’ve done it, Mario! Next stop, Glitzville!''"
*"''My, my, my! Glitzville! I’ve heard that the Glitz Pit is just full of brawny brawls! I must admit, the prospect of some hurly-burly gets me a touch piqued! ♡''"
*"''Now, darling, let’s find that Crystal Star, hmm?''"
*"''Oh, dear me! What a positively glorious venue! Oh, mercy, Mario! Look there! Those two brutes are about to have at each other!''"
*"''Oh, my word! Mario! On that uncouth bird’s belt! Is that a Crystal Star?''"
*"''Yes, I do believe it is! That wonderful sparkle is yet another Crystal Star! …But such a tawdry place to find it… Why would it be here, of all places?''"
*"''Oh, whatever shall we do? I don’t fancy the idea of stealing that fellow’s belt… What shall we do, Mario?''"
**(Steal that thing!)
**"''Oh, Mario, you adorable man! You do love to joke! We’ll do no such thing. I must say, I only see one way to get what we seek. Yes, just one… You must best this champion and take the belt with the power of your machismo!''"
**(Battle our way to the top!)
**"''Oh, you darling man, I’m SO happy to hear you say that! I’d expect nothing less! You’re ten times the man of anyone here! You’ll be champion in no time! ♡''"
*"''Let’s move on then, shall we? Our next step is to become official fighters, I imagine. Ooh, my heart is positively THUMPING! Let’s find whoever is in charge, this minute!''"
*"''What sort of base cowards attack before the match officially begins? Honestly!''"
*"''Come on, Mario, darling! We shan’t lose to lowlifes! Let’s teach them a lesson!''"
*"''Here we go, darling! Time to shine!''"
*"''Mario, darling… Are you quite ready?''"
*"''Why, that was no fuss whatsoever!''"
*"''Anytime you care for another lesson, we’ll be here! ♡''"
*"''Hmmm, now? You wish for us to help you, you darling little egg?''"
*"''Mario, hon, what do you think we ought to do?''"
**(Help the little guy!)
**"''A positively endearing choice, Mario, not that I expected any less. We shall free him!''"
**(Let there be Hot Dogs!)
**"''Mario, you wash your mouth out right this instant! How DARE you frighten this egg! Well, I never… Little eggy, you just ignore the scary man, OK? We will let you go.''"
*"''You, [[Hoggle|Mr. Proprietor]]! Would you allow us to free this poor soul?''"
*"''Well, that’s just lovely! You’re free to do whatever you like, dear egg! Farewell!''"
*"''Hmmm? What is it now, dear? You wish to accompany us, you [[Yoshi Kid|adorable little thing]]?''"
*"''I daresay this little dumpling wants to stay with us, Mario. What shall we do?''"
**(OK, it can follow us.)
**"''You’re all clear, little one! But do try not to get underfoot, all right?''"
**(No. Jumping eggs bug me.)
**"''Mario, you awful, awful man. Why must you torment him? We simply MUST take him in!''"
*"''Good gracious, we’ll make the major league if we prevail! I like our chances!''"
*"''Oh, mercy me! Mario… That adorable little egg seems to have disappeared. Where could the little fellow have gotten himself to?''"
*"''Why, you little rapscallion! You hatched from that egg? Well, aren’t you precious! ♡''"
*"''Come on, now, sugar pie! Let’s teach these hooligans a thing or two this time!''"
*"''Oh! Gracious me, Mario! Sounds like you’ve another e-mail! What is it this time?''"
*"''Ah, that X fellow again? Now he’s directing us to some “watering hole,” hmmm? I do wonder who this gentleman is…''"
*"''Mario, darling! E-mail call!''"
*"''"The blockade in the minor-league locker room," hmm? What could be behind it?''"
*"''Good gracious! That’s a report investigating the Crystal Stars! Someone was doing scientific studies on the Crystal Stars. My, it even has pictures!''"
*"''I have to wonder about why someone would leave this out for us to find…''"
*"''Oh, my, she doesn’t like us, does she? And we worked so hard getting that paper…''"
*"''It’s not a total loss, dear. At the very least, we know the Crystal Star is nearby.''"
*"''Oh, my! That looks delightful! I see no reason why you shouldn’t treat yourself!''"
**(Eat)
**"''Good-bye, diet! ♡''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''Well, if you say so, dear. I suppose cake isn’t exactly the ideal athlete’s food. ♡''"
*"''My word! Who would expect THAT lout to show up here? My goodness gracious!''"
*"''Mail call, dearie!''"
*"''Ah, our mysterious friend! Where to this time? A telephone booth outside? Yes, I believe I saw a booth out there somewhere… Let’s take a stroll.''"
*"''That chicken is rather rude. I hardly think it’s necessary to resort to threats… But wait a moment… Could it be that the nasty e-mail came from him? I suppose we can’t know. And regardless of who sent it, we must be more careful.''"
*"''Now we’re to break into the storage room? Mercy! This fellow seems to like making us run about… I can’t say I approve.''"
*"''Why, if it isn’t the young lady felon! I don’t approve of you following Mario, dear. You’ve grown careless, too. Did you know that Security heard you making noise here?''"
*"''Are you absolutely sure? You didn’t make just a little bit of noise, dear?''"
*"''My! You ARE brazen, aren’t you, dearie?''"
*"''Well, I daresay she IS a thief, hm? She certainly stole your lips with ease, Mario! But that’s hardly important… What might she have meant by “poor souls upstairs”?''"
*"''"The staircase switch"? Am I to understand there’s a staircase hidden in here?''"
*"''Good gracious me! Did you hear what I just heard? Missing fighters? How absolutely heartrending! That poor, sweet King K… I just assumed he had retired to his hometown…''"
*"''Mercy! My, that was close! I say, though, Mario, when that Grubba gentleman spoke of the Crystal Star… I couldn’t help but notice that Ms. Jolene acted a touch strange… Well, I do believe that we’d best make ourselves scarce before we’re found!''"
*"''Oh, dear, our surly friend… For such a pill, he does seem to know a fair bit. Between the Crystal Star and those poor, missing fighters… This fellow seems to know everything we’ve been trying to find out! But who is he?''"
*"''My, my, that DOES look good! Why don’t we just go ahead and have ourselves a bite! ♡''"
**(Eat)
**"''Ooh, serve it up! ♡''"
**"''Oh, my that is delectable! Just a minute, darling… I saved a bit for you…''"
**"''Oh! I seem to be having a bit of an allergic reaction! I’m feeling rather numb…''"
**"''Why, I’m feeling tip-top again! Fine job, winning the day even without me, dear! Even so… A poisoned cake… Our lives are in danger. I simply MUST be more careful from now on.''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''No? You bizarre man, whyever not? You’ve no need to watch your weight!''"
*"''Incidentally, darling… Did you notice this poor soul on the floor?''"
*"''I daresay that cake was poisoned! Had we eaten it, we’d have ended up like that poor fellow there!''"
*"''My, my, my, it’s mail time! Now, who might it be from?''"
*"''Oh, is it from X this time? He still sounds rather untrustworthy, but still… He wants us to peel off the lobby posters bearing your likeness, does he? Well, I suppose we must.''"
*"''Whatever could that key be for?''"
*"''OH, MY WORD! What on earth is this?!? Bandy Andy, you poor dear! And King K! How awful!''"
*"''Andy, honey, just hang on! Why would we have to avoid the ring, now?''"
*"''My word, did you see that? I do believe that was young Ms. Jolene! What in the world is going on here?''"
*"''Pardon me, sir, but I do believe you’re taking us the wrong way…''"
*"''Sir, I really must protest… Where are we off to?''"
*"''Mercy me, we’re back in a minor-league locker room! And it’s deserted! He DID say to wait here… But, darling, I can’t help but think we’ll miss our match!''"
*"''Well, my dear, I’d say we’re now officially VERY late. Let’s find out what’s what.''"
*"''Oh, my goodness gracious! We’ve been locked in, Mario! We’re trapped here!''"
*"''Correct me if I’m wrong, darling, but won’t we forfeit if we don’t show up? There simply MUST be a way out of this place!''"
*"''Darling, I tried it earlier. It’s quite firmly locked.''"
*"''Drat! Locked as well!''"
*"''I should like to request that we NEVER do that again. In any case, to the arena!''"
*"''Well, I daresay we’ve made it in time! And it sounds like the fans approve! Ah, it reminds me so much of my time on stage! Let’s go give that chicken what for!''"
*"''Well, here we are, dear. At last, we fight the champ. Let’s take him, shall we?''"
*"''Whatever does THAT mean, you awful chicken? Am I to understand that it was you who got the security guard to lock us away?''"
*"''So, it was you, after all! You sent those threats about the Crystal Star!''"
*"''Mario, darling, we’ve finally done it! We beat that lout! But… I daresay that chicken truly had no clue about the Crystal Star… We’re still in dire straits as far as the real one goes. Wherever could it be?''"
*"''Oh, my! Mario, darling… I do believe I hear a voice coming from somewhere…''"
*"''Might it be…a ghost?''"
*"''Oh, I almost swooned! That Mailbox SP is going to be the death of me!''"
*"''So, if that’s to be believed, there’s really a ghost here? That’s rather unsettling…''"
*"''Isn’t this the air duct? Where does it lead?''"
*"''Why, that voice belongs to [[Grubba]]! Could he have made those poor souls disappear?''"
*"''I do believe he’s gone… Now, wasn’t there something in his desk drawer?''"
*"''Oh, my! Is that the paper Grubba said he’d hid? Let’s have a look.''"
*"''Mercy! A machine under the ring using the Crystal Star? These are the blueprints! I can scarcely understand this paper, but I believe the Crystal Star powers it! If this paper’s correct, then the machine can suck the power out of folks! Oh, no… Is it possible that King K and Bandy Andy were, well…drained?''"
*"''You shut your trap, sir! You drained the life from those [[King K|poor]] [[Bandy Andy|souls]]!''"
*"''Mario, darling! We must chase him down!''"
*"''My goodness! Mario, there’s the Crystal Star!''"
*"''Using innocent fighters and a [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]] just to improve your looks? You're despicable.''"
*"''Oh, my! He got quite a bit larger, didn’t he?''"
*"''All right, let’s finish this nasty business right now! Come on, Mario, dear!''"
*"''Why, Ms. Jolene!''"
*"''Ah, so our mysterious [[X]] was...''"
*"''The poor dear really seemed aloof, but in fact, she just loved her brother so!''"
*"''Mario, darling, look there! The Crystal Star!''"
*"''Mercy me! So THAT’s what the Crystal Star’s capable of!''"
*"''Truly? You don’t mind if we take it?''"
*"''Well, darling, you needn’t hesitate! Take it!''"
*"''How marvelous! Now we have three of those Crystal Stars! I suggest we make haste for Rogueport, wouldn’t you say?''"
*"''Mario, dear! Look alive! That may well be an e-mail from Princess Peach!''"
*"''They wish to rule the world? Well, I refuse to bow to such megalomaniacs!''"
*"''Mmmm... A bit to the left... ♡''"
*"'''Big deal'? [[Doopliss|You foul boor]]! What ever would possess you to do something so mean?''"
*"''Oh, mercy! Was that it? This fellow was so easy! I was rather expecting more. Well, I suppose we got the [[Ruby Star|Crystal Star]], so let's leave immediately, hmm?''"
*"''How could I mistake my dear Mario for another? Silly Flurrie!''"
*"''Oh, I do believe it is [[Beldam|YOU]] who will fall today, dear! Let’s settle this, hmm?''"
*"''Let's leave [[Three Shadows|these louts]], Mario...''"
*"''So, [[Grodus|this gentlemen]] is the leader of those X–Nauts?''"
*"''So, that last [[Crystal Star]] we found on the [[Moon]]... NO! What have we done?''"
*"''Mario, do be careful, dear! This fellow looks like he means business!''"
*"''We shan't let that happen!''"
*"''Mario, what shall we do, darling? We cannot bow down to [[Shadow Queen|her]]!''"
*"''Now that's just senseless... Are we to betray all of those who believed in us?''"
*"''Time to pay for all of your ills!''"
*"''My dear, dear, Mario. I am ready to make my comeback in the theatre, now! I've found so many things on this journey that I could only express on stage. Please do come to see me once we've finished rehearsing. And bring [[Princess Peach|Peach]], too, dear!''"
*"''Well, I never! How rude! Go get your eyes checked, young man! I am a PRIZE!''"
*"''Mercy! Such anger!''"

==[[Francesca]]==
*"''Hey, back off, you creep! You want something, or you just like sliding up to people?''"
*"''WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!? [[Don Pianta|Daddy]] asked [[Mario|you]] to find us? And take us to him?!?''"
*"''[[Frankie]], what should we do? If [[Don Pianta|Daddy]] finds us now... Oh, I don't know...and the boat's coming any minute...''"
*"''No, [[Frankie]]! Don't say that! Don't you know what he'll do to you if we do that?''"
*"''Oh, [[Frankie]]... My Frankie... Don't you love me?''"
*"''Then let's go, [[Frankie]]! Let's run! To the ends of the earth if we have to!''"
*"''We can, [[Frankie]]! The more you try to put out the flames of love, the hotter they burn! Until I marry you, no one will extinguish these flames of passion! NO ONE!!!''"
*"''Don't you see, [[Mario|Mister]]? I beg you: pretend you never saw us! Can you do that?''"
*"''Oh, thank [[Mario|you]]! Thank you! You're swell, Mister! You're a real stand-up guy!''"
*"''[[Don Pianta|Daddy]], wait!''"
*"''No, [[Don Pianta|Daddy]]! Don't hurt him! I'm the one who said we should elope. It was ME! But [[Frankie]] said no! He said we should come back and talk to you, Daddy!''"
*"''No, [[Don Pianta|Daddy]]! No! No! No! I'm the bad one. It's my fault! If you're going to punish anyone, punish me!''"
*"''[[Don Pianta|Daddy]]!''"
*"''[[Don Pianta|Daddy]]!!!''"
*"''Oh, [[Don Pianta|Daddy]]!!!!!!!!!!''"
*"''Thank you so much, [[Don Pianta|Daddy]]! Thanks for your blessing!''"
*"''Good-bye, [[Don Pianta|Daddy]]! Farewell! And thank you!''"
*"''Hey! Aren't you [[Mario]]?!?''"
*"''It's me! Me! [[Don Pianta]]'s daughter! [[Francesca]]! And Frankie's here, too!''"
*"''After my [[Don Pianta|dad]] forgave us, we set out on a trip... The ship we were on got a little too close to this island...and now look at us! Still, I'm amazed the rumors about [[Cortez]] were all true! ...Which means... he's nearby!''"
*"''Hey, so, by the way... Why are [[Mario|YOU]] [[Pirate's Grotto|here]]? Don't tell me [[Don Pianta|Daddy]] had you come here to take us back!''"
*"''What?!? [[Mario|You]]'re after the pirate's treasure because it might contain a [[Crystal Stars|Crystal Star]]? Well, I think the treasure is right in there, watched by [[Cortez]]'s spirit... Yeah.... I'm sure you'll be able to take care of him, though! You look tough! Besides, Cortez is the one that trapped us on that raft, so smack him one for me!''"
*"''Oh, hi there...[[Mario]]. What brings you back [[Keelhaul Key|here]]? Can we do something for you?''"
*"''Oh, poor [[Don Pianta|Daddy]]! Oh, no... And at a time like this...''"
*"''You see, I... I just dropped the [[Wedding Ring|wedding ring]] [[Frankie]] gave me around here... I can't possibly leave until I find that ring! Otherwise something might eat it! It must be somewhere between here and that skull rock!''"
*"''NO!!! You have to say it 99 more times, [[Frankie]]!''"
*"''Oh, [[Frankie]], baby... You're such a silly billy! Hee hee hee!''"
*"''AAAAAAH! THAT'S IT!!! THAT'S [[Wedding Ring|MY RING]]!!! YOU FOUND IT!!!''"
*"''[[Frankie]]! Now we can go home to [[Don Pianta|Daddy]]!''"
*"''...Well, so, anyway... We'll be down at the dock. Hurry back, please!''"
*"''Ohhhhhh, [[Don Pianta|Daddy]]! Please hang on until we get there!''"
*"''We have to go see [[Don Pianta|Daddy]] immediately!''"
*"''[[Don Pianta|Daddy]]! Daddy! DADDY! Wake up! Open your eyes!''"
*"''[[Don Pianta|DADDY]]!''"
*"''Of COURSE we did, [[Don Pianta|Daddy]]! As soon as we heard you were ill, we dropped everything and rushed back!''"

==[[Frankie]]==
*"''Dollface... Maybe we oughta head back and try to talk to [[Don Pianta|da boss]] one more time.''"
*"''[[Francesca]]... Babydoll...  If we can just talk calm-like wit' da boss,he'll understand.''"
*"''Of course I love [[Francesca|Francesca]]you, sugar cookie. More dan anybody in da whole world!''"
*"''But, [[Francesca|butter biscuit]]... Dey already found us out. We can't keep runnin' forever.''"
*"''[[Don Pianta|Boss]]! Forgive me, Boss! I-I'm sorry! Truly, I am!''"
*"''[[Don Pianta|Boss]]! Listen, I don't care what you do to me! I deserve it all for bein' disloyal! But you gotta forgive [[Francesca|her]]. Forgive your daughter, Boss! Dat's all I ask.''"
*"''No, [[Don Pianta|Boss]]! It's all on me. It's my responsibility! All da blame, right here.''"
*"''[[Don Pianta|Boss]]!''"
*"''[[Don Pianta|Boss]]!!!''"
*"''Dad! ...No! Wait, I mean... [[Don Pianta|BOSS]]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''"
*"''[[Don Pianta|Boss]]! I'll make [[francesca|your daughter]] a happy woman! I promise you! She'll want for nothin'!''"
*"''What?!? [[Don Pianta|Da boss]] is sick?!?''"
*"'' Listen for a second, [[Francesca|my fuzzy little coconut]]... Shouldn't we forget about dat [[Wedding Ring|ring]] for now an' check on da boss?''"
*"''Of course, I love you... [[Francesca|My little bacon burger]]!''"
*"''100 TIMES?''"
*"''Oh... C'mon now, [[Francesca|babe]]... Of course I love you, my little short stack... Now please, let's go.''"
*"''Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Fine, [[Francesca|you crazy dame]]! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!''"
*"''I love you!''"
*"''Huff...heeeeef...hoooooooof... There, I said it...''"
*"''......... Now, [[Francesca|my little cream puff]]... Let's find [[Wedding Ring|dat ring]] right away, whaddaya say?''"
*"''We sure can, [[Francesca|my little cheese 'n' cracker]]! Let's go!''"
*"''OK, [[Mario]]... I think we're ready, pal. Yeah, we are. Let's go back to [[Rogueport]]!''"
*"''You got it, [[Francesca]]!''"
*"''[[Don Pianta|BOSS]]!''"
*"''Whaaaaat?? B-But...[[Don Pianta|Boss]]! You still got it in ya! You're a spring chicken! You don't gotta do dis! And, I mean... Me? Boss?''"

==[[Fuzzy]]==
*"''Meeeeork! Meeeeeeork! We'll suck up [[Mario|your]] SOULS! MEEEEEORK!''"
*"''Meeeeork! Meeeeeeork! Mmmmmm! You were tasty! MEEEEEORK!''"

==[[Garf]]==
*"''You took on my trouble? [[Mario|You]]? OK. Then please find my [[House Key (Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door)|key]], and be quick about it!''"
*"''If someone else finds my key, they'll be able to get in my house, so I'll stand guard.''"
*"''I think I dropped my key when I went to the [[Lovely Howz of Badges|badge shop]], but I'm not sure...''"
*"''Did you find my key?''"
*"''Yes! My key!!!''"
*"''I can finally get inside my house again! Home, sweet home! Thank you!''"
*"''Please take this as payment for your efforts, all right?''"

==[[General White]]==
*"''Hut! I am General White. I am a [[Bob-omb]]! And I have lost my hopes and dreams.''"
*"''I live in solitude, always. I must apologize, but I ask that you leave me alone.''"
*"''My heart has grown cold... I must apologize, but I ask that you leave me alone.''"
*"''Does life have a purpose? I must apologize, but I ask that you leave me alone.''"
*"''I don't care what I do... I just want to help people. Is that so wrong?''"
*"''Now get moving! Hut-hut!''"
*"''Hut! Leave it to me!''"
*"''Now, men! You know the drill! Load the big bomb cannon!'' (GCN) / ''Load [[Big Bob]]!'' (Switch)"
*"''Bring guidance system online!''"
*"''System check!''"
*"''Prepare for detonation sequence!''"
*"''Open outer hatch!''"
*"''Open inner shutter!''"
*"''Elevate! On my mark!''"
*"''Sighting! Target is the moon!''"
*"''Target locked! Chamber hatch open!''"
*"''Close chamber hatch!''"
*"''Conditions all green! Standby... OK!''"

==[[Ghost T.]]==
*"''...So you've found me. Well, as you see, I'm a ghost. I'm cursed to haunt this place. A blanket? Well, yes, the conductor did leave one here. He didn't realize that I'm a ghost. A yummy, sticky threat? No, I left no such thing. I can't even hold physical objects like pen and paper. What? You just want the blanket, then? Well, I'll tell you where it is if you do something for me. What do you say?''"
**(Fine!)
**"''All I need is......YOOOOOUR LIIIIFE!!! ...No, just kidding... Actually… I passed away in this cabin many years ago… But I think my luggage is still in my baggage car here… Inside my bag is a diary I kept since my earliest childhood days… And my fear that someone would find and read it has kept me tied to this world! I can't leave this room, so can you please find it and bring it here? If you do that, I'll show you where the blanket is.''"
*"''Oh, so you'll help me, then?''"
**(I don't help ghosts.)
**"''I see… That is your choice. But then I can't tell you where the blanket is.''"
*"''And don't you even DARE read my diary!!! Because if you do… Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoooooo… A horrible fate awaits you.''"
*"''YOOOOOOUUUU LOOOOOOKED! EEEEEEVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOOOOOUUU NOT TOOOOOOO! NOW SEEEE WHAT HAPPENS!''"
*"''It seems that there is someone in your room. I heard some rustling sounds in there a minute ago.''"
*"''I sense the presence of a large crowd of...[[Smorg|something]]...''"

==[[Glitzville reporter]]==
*"''Yo! Outta the way, pal! I don't do stories on nobodies, sorry! Move it or lose it!''"
*"''Huh? The Great Gonzales? I don't cover minor-leaguers. Clear outta the way!''"
*"''Huh? The Great Gonzales? You're a minor-leaguer and your nickname is 'Great'? Ha!''"
*"''Yo! Yo! Great Gonzales! Two questions! How are you feeling today, and if you were a soda pop, what flavor would you be?''"
*"''Yo! Yo! Great Gonzales! Two questions! How's your mind state, and if you were a jungle animal, what noise would you make?''"
*"''Congrats, Great Gonzales! You finally got your mitts on that championship belt! If winning the championship is like a snack dip, what kind of tasty chip are you?''"
*"''Champion! ...Er, or, I mean... Former champion Gonzales! Why'd you give up the belt? If giving up the belt is like a water slide, what kind of swim trunks do you wear?''"
*"''Yo! Yo! Great Gonzales! I hear you've thrown your hat back into the fighting ring! If your comeback is like a robot convention, are you an android or a cyborg?''"
*"''Hooray for Great Gonzales! A valiant comeback, and once more you reign as champ! If regaining the belt is like a soup, what delicious ingredient are you?''"
*"''Yo! Yo! If you were a video-game hero, which hero would you be?''"

==[[Gloomer]]==
*"''Uh, what? A guy with a red cap and some blue overalls? That sounds familiar... C'mon, brain! Oh, yeah! That's Mario! He's this adventurer who saved our village. Are you an adventurer, too? ...I like adventures...''"
*"''You know, I always used to love pork chops, but now I think about the poor pig... Hmmm... Hey! You don't think maybe I was a pig in a past life, do you? What a concept!''"
*"''Ah... You, uh... You... You're Mario, our hero! Yahoo for you! Mario! ...It'd be awesome if someone said that about you, huh? Yeah, that'd be sweet.''"

==[[Gloomtail]]==
*"''No one's disturbed me here in aeons!''"
*"''Who dares defile [[Palace of Shadow|this sacred place]]?!?''"
*"''WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!? You destroyed [[Hooktail|my precious younger sister]]?!? I wondered why she hadn't written recently... Quake in fear, mortals! For I am Gloomtail! I will avenge my sister by taking your lives...and then gnawing on your bones!''"
*"''GWAAAAH HA HA HA HA! My first fresh meat in ages... Allow me to take my time... And toy with you for awhile!''"
*"''Is it...true? Can I... expire?"''

==[[Goldbob]]==
*"''Oh! Look! My heart trembles! The fountain… So elegant! This is art at its finest!''"
*"''Yes, dearest. One cannot measure its worth by coins. That is what makes art, art. And yet…the filthy rich always seek to define art with their ill-gotten coins…''"

==[[Gold Fuzzy]]==
*"''Meeeeeeeeeeeork!''"
*"''Hey, you suspicious types!''"
*"''This is our [[Shhwonk Fortress|place]]. And coming in here is rude, rude, RUDE!''"
*"''Sorry, suckers! If you want a warm welcome, too bad!''"
*"''Now I lunch on your head!''"
*"''Meee-OOOF! Hey! Ow! You chumps are tougher than you look...''"
*"''But I'm not through yet! [[Fuzzy Horde|Everyone]]! GET 'EM!!!''"
*"''Meeeeeeee-uuuuurgh! You got me!''"

==[[Goomba]]==
*"''Hey! Hey, [[Mario|man]]! What's up? Who's [[Goombella|the hottie]] you got there with you?
*"''Ouch! That was cold!''"
*"''Oweeeeeeeeeeeeee!''"
*"''Who is this [[Mario|Gonzales]] rookie? A cocky idiot, that's who! Waiting just makes us mad!''"
*"''Remember guys, we're Bros.! If we combine out strength, we'll ruin anybody!''"
*"''Awww, poor little rookie! You didn't really think you could beat us, did you?! Pro battling isn't easy! Go wash that mustache and come back sometime! Ha!''"

==[[Goombella]]==
{{main|List of Goombella quotes}}
*"''You aren't going anywhere, [[Lord Crump|Mr. Stinker]]!''"
*"''Hey! What do you want?!? Get away from me, [[Lord Crump|freak]]!!!''"
*"''Never! I don't have anything to say to [[X-Nauts (organization)|you creeps]]! Eww!''"
*"''N–No! Stop right there, you weirdos! I'll scream! Really!''"
*"''Like I'd go anywhere with smelly lunatics like [[X-Nauts (organization)|you]]! Hmph! Not likely!''"
**"''Like I'd go anywhere with smelly losers like you! Hmph! Not likely!''" (Switch)
*"''Battle time, [[Mario|Mister Man]]! Just find a way to beat this [[Lord Crump|freak of the week]], OK? Don't sweat the details. Just jump on him and hit him with your hammer!''"
*"''Yes! [[Mario|You]]'re doing awesome! Don't you let up!''"
*"''Sweet! [[Mario|You]] KNOW that hurt! Wow, I gotta say, you're tougher than you look. Keep it up and you'll beat [[Lord Crump|him]] in no time!''"
*"''[[Mario|You]]'ve got [[Lord Crump|him]] on the ropes! C'mon! Keep whaling on him!''"
*"''[[Mario|You]] did it! You did it! YESSS! And you got [[Star Point|Star Points]]!!!''"
*"''Yeah, I bet [[Mario|you]] know, but you get these things called Star Points when you win battles. When you get 100 points, you'll go up a level. Don't forget that, OK?''"
*"''Quick! This way!''"
*"''Phew! What a bunch of [[X-Nauts (organization)|loons]]! Let's just sneak out of here, what do you say?''"
**"''Phew! What a bunch of bozos! Let's just sneak out of here, what do you say?''" (Switch)
*"''Wow, [[Mario|Mister]]! You...totally saved me! Thanks! I have just GOT to give you a little reward!''"
*"''My name's Goombella. I'm a student at the [[University of Goom]]. Nice to meet ya!''"
**"''My name's Goombella. I'm a junior at the University of Goom. Nice to meet ya!''" (Switch)
*"''So, uh... Who are [[Mario|you]]?''"
*"''...Mario? Wait, [[Mario|you]] mean, like, that famous guy? Wow! I can't believe I met you [[Rogueport|here]]!''"
*"''Cool... Anyway, no offense, but it looks like [[Mario|you]] just rolled into town yourself. Right?''"
*"''Me, I already HATE it [[Rogueport|here]]! There are freaks and weirdos EVERYWHERE! It's nasty! I mean, I know the place is called Rogueport, so I should have expected it, but sheesh!''"
*"''I'd never come to a place like [[Rogueport|this]] if there weren't some legendary treasure here.''"
*"''What? [[Mario|You]]'re looking for the legendary treasure, too? Seriously?''"
*"''Whoa whoa WHOA, [[Mario|bucko]]! Whatcha got there?''"
*"''Omigosh! Is… Isn't that a treasure map?! You HAVE to tell me where you got that!''"
*"''...[[Princess Peach]]? What?''"
*"''Um... [[Princess Peach]]? Did [[Toadsworth|he]] mean, like, Peach, the [[Mushroom Kingdom]] princess?!? The princess who always gets nabbed by [[Bowser]], the Koopa king? The one [[Mario|you]] rescue?''"
*"''Wait a sec'! This is crazy! Princess...PEACH sent [[Mario|you]] that treasure map?''"
**"''Wait a sec'! This is wild! Princess...PEACH sent [[Mario|you]] that treasure map?''" (Switch)
*"''Whoa. This really intense. Well, where could [[Princess Peach|she]] have gone, then, do [[Mario|you]] think? You think maybe she got sick of waiting and went to find the treasure on her own?''"
*"''Oooh! Oooh! I know, Mario! Come with me! One of my professors is here researching that treasure. We'll him show him your map!''"
*"''If we start looking for the treasure, then maybe we'll catch up to Princess Peach!''"
*"''Great! We're all good, then! Let's go, Mario!''"
*"''This is [[Rogueport|Rogueport Plaza]]. It's the center of town, and the main business district. It's a crossroads where many people meet, including more than a few shady characters.''"
*"''Anytime you press {{button|gcn|X}} when there's no one around, I'll tell you about where we are!''"
*"''That's [[Goomther]] the [[Goomba]]. He's always complaining about being swindled or mugged...''"
*"''If you press {{button|gcn|X}} when there's somebody nearby, I'll tell you about him or her!''"
*"''So? Did you get all that?''"
*"''First off, we gotta go find [[Professor Frankly|my professor]]. Thing is, since I just got to [[Rogueport|town]] myself...I, um, don't actually know where he lives.''"
*"''So keep an eye out! Here's what Professor Frankly looks like!''"
*"''Hey, by the way, Mario... Have you saved yet?''"
*"''[[Mario|You]] see that [[Save Block]] in front of that [[inn]]? Since we're here, you oughta save now. Just jump up and hit the block to save, OK?''"
*"''Hey! What's [[Bandit|your]] beef, pal? YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU!''"
*"''Mario! You gotta wake up! That guy just stole half of your [[coin]]s!''"
*"''That is SO lame! Ugh! I HATE [[Rogueport|this town]]!''"
*"''Oh, hi! There you are! Professor Frankly!''"
*"''Wow, yes, [[Professor Frankly|sir]]! That's me! I'm Goombella a junior at [[University of Goom|U Goom]]! Goooo GOOMBAS!''"
*"''Mario! [[Professor Frankly|Professor]], he's Mario! You know...the famous one!''"
*"''We were hoping [[Professor Frankly|you]]'d tell us about the legendary treasure said to be below [[Rogueport]]! I thought that if anyone knew anything about it, you would, [[Professor Frankly]]...''"
*''"Archaeologists and historians have to search for truth in those fairy tales, though!''"
*"''Me, I believe the legendary treasure truly does exist! And I REALLY want to find it!''"
*"'''To find the treasure of yore, take the seven [[Crystal Stars]] to [[the Thousand-Year Door]]!' ...You mean the Crystal Stars in that old saying that super-elderly people pass down?''"
*"'''Hold the [[Magical Map]] aloft before the entrance to the Thousand-Year Door. Then the stars will light the way that leads to the stones of yesterday.' Yeah...''"
*"''A lot of the lore I've read says that is this Magical Map is taken to the doorway...then it'll show you where to find the Crystal Stars!''"
*"''But we DO have it, [[Professor Frankly|Professor]]! Or... Well, not 'we,' exactly... MARIO has the Magical Map!''"
*"''Right on, [[Professor Frankly|Professor]]!''"
*"''Oh, it is, like, SO sweet that [[Goomba|you boys]] think I'm cute! Seriously! Yeah, guys like you make me feel like TOTALLY BARFING! Now get out of our way!''"
*"''Ha! Later on, losers! That felt AWESOME!''"
*"''Who knew the [[Rogueport Underground|area under Rogueport]] extended so far? This place is a total maze! You really feel the grandness of that ancient civilization when you're down here...''"
*"''Well, what do you think we oughta do, Mario?''"
*"''So, uh... Wow. Just wow. What was [[Black Chest Demon|THAT guy]]'s beef?''"
*"''Hey, what's the deal with this weird pedestal, huh? What could it be, you think?''"
*"''[[Professor Frankly|Professor]]! What's going on!''"
*"''[[Professor Frankly|Professor]]! The [[Magical Map|map]]!!! And what was with all those crazy lights?''"
**"''Professor! The map! And what was with all those strange lights?''" (Switch)
*"''You understand it, [[Professor Frankly|Professor]]?''"
*"''A special move?''"
*"''[[Petal Meadows]]?''"
*"''OK, fine. So we'll go [[Petal Meadows|there]]. Does anybody know how to get there or what?''"
*"''Y'know, [[Professor Frankly|Professor]], there was [[X-Nauts (organization)|another suspicious group]] asking about the same thing.''"
*"''Aren't you coming, [[Professor Frankly|Professor]]?''"
*"''You got it, [[Professor Frankly|Professor]]!''"
*"''Well, [[Mario]], we're off!''"
*"''Hey, [[Mario]]! You remember what [[Professor Frankly]] told us, right? You can press {{button|gcn|Y}} to change our attack order! If your HP drops, you can press {{button|gcn|Y}} to put me in front!''"
*"''Well, here we are! The [[Petal Meadows]], where folks say a [[Crystal Stars|Crystal Star]] hides.''"
*"''Woo hoo! Here we go, Mario! The start of our adventure! This is completely awesome!''"
*"''Whoa! What was that?''"
*"''Ooh! Is that a... Wow! [[Mario]]! Look!!!''"
*"''Totally incredible!... I've never seen anything that humongous before. [[Hooktail|It]] looked kinda scary, too. Weird... [[Professor Frankly]] said [[Petal Meadows|this place]] was peaceful.''"
*"''Wow! Crazy! We just started and, and already there's intrigue! C'mon, Mario! Let's go!''"
*"''Oh! One more thing, Mario! If you ever find yourself like, wondering what to do... Just press {{button|gcn|X}} and use my [[Tattle]] ability, okay? I might be able to look up some useful info that'll help us on our adventure!''"
*"''Dragon? [[Hooktail]]? That must've been that huge thing we saw earlier, Mario! So it's called Hooktail, huh? Oooooh, scary name! Pffffft!''"
*"''So anyway, [[Koopa Troopa|Green Boots]], have you ever heard of these things called [[Crystal Stars]]? We're on this quest for them. It's very important!''"
*"''A pink house? Sounds totally hideous...but it should be easy to find. Thanks for your help.''"
*"''Ew! Are you kidding me? EW! Nice wig, [[Dupree|you disco wannabe]]! Take a hike, Bozo the Dork!''"
*"''What a total [[Dupree|sleaze]]! Let's go somewhere else, Mario!''"
*"''That's [[Koops]], from [[Petalburg]]. He's got confidence issues... He's a...cringer, y'know? But he's definitely got a serious interest in [[Hooktail]]... I wonder why?''"
*"''OOOOOO-K... That was weird... What do [[Mario|you]] think THAT was all about? Talk about issues!''"
*"''So, Hooktail Castle, huh? Well… It sure is ominous, that's for sure.''"
*"''What’s with [[Dull Bones|these numbskulls]]? Ow! OWWW! Watch it, Pushy! They're shoving me around, Mario! What should we do?''"
*"''Mario! Look at that!''"
*"''Ooh, this isn’t good… Hurry! Run for it!''"
*"''Whoa! I mean, WHOA! That was seriously close! Well, whatever. We got the key, so let’s go open that weird chest.''"
*"''Who… Who are you?''"
*"''I’ll tell you why, Miss Ugly-Pink-Shoe-Whatever-Thief: we’re here to beat Hooktail! And just so we’re clear on this, we set our sights on the Crystal Star before you! OK?''"
*"''Shoot!''"
*"''LET us?!? LET us?!? What’s that supposed to mean?''"
*"''H-Hey! You little flirt! Who do you think you are, kissing Mario?!?''"
*"''What is WITH that girl? What a flirt! Who acts so disgusting like that?''"
*"''That’s just terrible!''"
*"''That’s it! Enough of this! Let’s finish him off once and for all, Mario!''"
**"''That’s it! Enough of this! Let’s finish her off once and for all, Mario!''" (Switch)
*"''Yes! We did it, Mario! All we have to do now is search for that Crystal Star we can’t seem to locate.''"
*"''Mario? Are you OK? You’re totally shaking… Do you need a bathroom?''"
*"''Ooh, is that a Mailbox SP? Cool! With the light? Hey, who’s that mail from?''"
*"''Wow! Wait a second… Isn’t that from Princess Peach? THE princess? So that means she’s OK! At least she’s not hurt… But it sounds like whoever kidnapped Princess Peach is also after the Crystal Stars…''"
*"''OK, Mario! You ready? Hold that Crystal Star up!''"
*"''Ooh! Check it out, Mario! The location of the next Crystal Star has appeared. But, I… I… I have NO idea where that is! OK… I guess we oughta let Professor Frankly tell us where that place is.''"
*"''Yeah, great pun, C’mon! Where’s the next Crystal Star, Professor?''"
*"''A great tree in the Boggly Woods? OK…''"
*"''By the way, Professor… About Princess Peach… Not long ago, Mario received an e-mail from her. It said that the people who kidnapped her are also looking for the Crystal Stars. Oh, and the worst part? She said that she doesn’t even know where she is!''"
*"''Then we’ll head for Boggly Woods to find the next Crystal Star! Let’s do it!''"
*"''Mario! Did you see that? That was one of the things Professor Frankly described!''"
*"''Mario! How could you?!? Don’t you say that to him! …That wasn’t very mature. Hey, don’t worry! Really! We’re not here to be mean to you, honest.''"
*"''You’re one of the creatures from Boggly Woods, right? What are you doing here?''"
*"''X-Nauts? Easy there, kid. What in the world are you freaking out about? We’re not gonna do anything to you, so chill for a sec’! Just tell us what’s going on.''"
*"''Mario! That sounds like those guys who attacked us in Rogueport. Right? If they’re the same guys, then they’re definitely after the Crystal Star…''"
*"''I guess… I mean, we can’t just ignore them, right? And we do need to find the Crystal Star before those X-whatever guys do.''"
*"''These are the Boggly Woods… They sure look…boggling. Ooh! I’ve got butterflies!''"
*"''Call me crazy, but I think this place is totally deserted. Should we go back or what?''"
*"''What’s going on?''"
*"''Oh quit being melodramatic! Although…it does look thick. What are we gonna do now?''"
*"''How are we supposed to find a secret entrance? It’s secret for a reason, y’know.''"
*"''Wow, what’s the matter? Oh, I TOTALLY know how you feel! When I go out, I am all about the accessories! ...Hey! Wait a sec’! You lost your NECKLACE? I’m having deja vu, big-time! I swear, someone just said they FOUND a necklace…''"
*"''Ooh, that’s them! They’re the ones who had the… Wait a minute… What? You’ve been waiting for Mario? What’s THAT supposed to mean, you weirdo?''"
*"''Hey! What’s your deal? How do you know about the map and the Crystal Stars? Have you been talking to Princess Peach, or… Wait, what am I saying? The real question is, who the heck are you freaks?''"
*"''Hey! Stop right there, missy! You’re that thieving girl we saw before! What are you doing here?''"
*"''Eww! Not another smooch! Who do you think you are, you total floozy?''"
*"''I can’t BELIEVE that girl! Ugh! I can’t stand her!''"
*"''Hey, if you’re done rallying everyone… I have a question. We’re looking for this Crystal Star thingamajig… Ever heardof it?''"
*"''Ooh, look! A new pipe! Come on! Let’s jump in!''"
*"''He IS just a kid, Mario. Maybe we should, y’know, take it easy on him?''"
*"''I wonder what his deal is? He seems so lonely…like he’s watching us secretly, y’know? Yeah… He almost looks like a lost little kitty cat looking for a home. Awww! Too cute! Hey, you don’t think he… He wouldn’t want to join us, would he?''"
*"''This isn’t good, Mario. We gotta do something.''"
*"''Hey! Check these out! I SWEAR I’ve seen these decorated columns before…''"
*"''Huh? Did you feel that? That crazy shaking? What in the world was that?''"
*"''Wow, Mario! Check it out! The Crystal Star! Score!''"
*"''Hey! You! I see you, jerk! Mario, it’s that weasel!''"
*"''This is so not cool! We gotta get out of here! Right now!''"
*"''Stop right there, jerk!"'
*"''You aren’t going anywhere, Mr. Stinker! Now give us the Crystal Star and drag your sorry self out of this tree forever!''"
*"''Whoa! He IS powerful! … Still… Something about this metal freak just doesn’t seem right to me… Keep your eyes open!''"
*"''We did it, Mario! Yes! Was that great, or what?''"
*"''Oh, I’m sure we’ll be back again at some point. Yeah, definitely! Take care, guys!''"
*"''Hey, you hear that? Someone’s mailing you!''"
*"''Aw, isn’t that sweet, Mario?''"
*"''Here we go again, Mario! Let’s see that Crystal Star!''"
*"''There it is! The resting spot of the next Crystal Star! Totally awesome! But it looks like it’s pointing somewhere…up in the sky. Huh? What could that mean?''"
*"''But the question is, why did they seal the legendary treasure away to begin with? I mean, were they just trying to keep it from being stolen, or what?''"
*"''…What? That’s not WHAT?''"
*"''Sheesh, Professor…''"
*"''No, I don’t, but whatever. How about this next Crystal Star, then? It’s like it’s floating on the Magical Map… It’s, like…floating?''"
*"''Well, how are we supposed to get there, then?''"
*"''What? What “channels”? Stop being mysterious! How do we get seats on the ship?''"
*"''So, no problem! We’ll just go meet this Don Pianta guy, and we’ll be on our way!''"
*"''Fairy taile nothing! That treasure’s real!''"
*"''Wait… What’s the favor?''"
*"''What should we do, Mario? We at least have to tell Don Pianta SOMETHING… But… That stuff about our luck turning terrible didn’t sound all that appetizing…''"
*"''Yay! Awesome! We did it! Now we can go to Glitzville!''"
*"''Well, no doubt about it: this is Glitzville! Can you believe it actually floats?''"
*"''Well, let’s get to it, huh, Mario? Let’s find that Crystal Star as fast as we can!''"
*"''Whoa, totally AWESOME! Check it out, Mario! Someone’s about to catch a beating up there!''"
*"''Whoa! Look, Mario! There! On the champ’s belt! Isn’t that a Crystal Star?''"
*"''Yeah, yeah, it totally is! Look at it sparkle! Gotta be a Crystal Star! Why would that be in a sweaty old pit like this?''"
*"''What do you think we oughta do? We can’t just steal that nutcase’s belt, can we? This stinks. What do we do?''"
**(Steal that thing!)
**"''Come on, Mario. Seriously. We’re the good guys, here. We can’t do that. No, no, the way I see it, our only option is… For you to kick some tails, take some names, become the champ, and WIN that belt!''"
**(Battle our way to the top!)
**"''There you go! You and I are, like, TOTALLY on the same exact wavelength! Crack a few heads, take a few names, become champ, and nab that belt!''"
*"''So let’s get busy, huh? I guess we gotta become official battlers first, right? Ooh, I’m kinda getting stoked about this! Let’s go find out who runs this shindig!''"
*"''They… Those total COWARDS! Those chickens attacked us before the bell rang!''"
*"''Oh, that is IT! Come on! We aren’t losing to punks like them! Let’s waste ‘em!''"
*"''We aren’t gonna lose to scrubs like YOU!''"
*"''C’mon, Mario! Let’s get this over with!''"
*"''See?! No biggie!''"
*"''What did you expect, huh? We rock!''"
*"''Huh? Did you hear that, Mario? You want us to help you, little eggy-weggy?''"
*"''It’s so ADORABLE! What should we do, Mario?''"
**(Help the little guy!)
**"''I am TOTALLY with you on this one, Mario. We’ll let you go, little buddy!''"
**(Let there be Hot Dogs!)
**"''Come on, Mario. That’s just tasteless, seriously. Don’t scare the little guy.''"
**"''Try not to be so childish, will you? There’s no choice here. We’ll let him go.''"
*"''Is that OK with you, too, Mr. Hot-Dog-Stand Guy?''"
*"''Awesome! Didja hear that, little eggy-weggy?!? You’re free! See ya around!''"
*"''Huh? What is it now, eggy? You want to follow us? Is that it?''"
*"''I’m pretty sure our little buddy here wants to hang out with us. Do we let him?''"
**(OK, it can follow us.)
**"''You hear that, little guy? Just make sure not to get in our way, though, OK?''"
**(No. Jumping eggs bug me.)
**"''Seriously, Mario, I wonder about you sometimes. We’re taking him, and that’s that. You hear that, little guy? Just make sure not to get in our way, though, OK?''"
*"''We’re gonna do it! We make the major league if we win! Get psyched, Mario!''"
*"''Heyyy… Check it out! Our little eggy friend is gone. What a bummer! Where do you think the little guy took to?''"
*"''What?!? You...were in that cute little eggy-weggy? Woah! That's wild!''"
*"''Mario! C’mon, now! We’re gonna win this time around! You gotta believe!''"
*"''Whoa! Mario! That was another e-mail, right? Don’t just stand there, check it!''"
*"''It’s from that X guy again. Great. The “watering hole,” huh? If you say so, X! Who IS this mystery guy?!?''"
*"''Mario! ANOTHER e-mail!''"
*"''"The blockade in the minor-league locker room," huh? What’s behind it, you think?''"
*"''Mario! Do you believe what that is? It’s a scientific report on the Crystal Stars! Someone was researching the Crystal Stars! And they even have pictures!''"
*"''Y’now, it’s REALLY weird that someone would just leave this lying around…''"
*"''What’s that chick’s beef? It was totally hard work getting that info!''"
*"''Well, whatever. At least it sounds like the Crystal Star is somewhere in here.''"
*"''That looks totally YUMMY! If you chow on that, I bet you can ride the sugar rush!''"
**(Eat)
**"''Yeah! Let’s eat!''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''Wow, are you like, watching your weight or something? I could NOT say no to that…''"
*"''Wow! That was Bowser, right? Jeepers, who woulda thought he’d show his face HERE?''"
*"''Mario! Here we go again! Another mail!''"
*"''Oh, it’s our X pal again. The telephone booth out on the pavilion, huh? I remember seeing that outside somewhere…but where? Let’s check it out.''"
*"''What…a…CREEP! How DARE he threaten us like that? Talk about low-class! Wait… He threatened us! You think that hate mail came from old chicken-legs? Well, who knows? One thing’s for sure: we gotta watch our step from here on out.''"
*"''The storage room in the arena now? Sheesh! What next? This guy’s got us running all over! It’s driving me to totally nuts!''"
*"''You again! Miss Flirt-a-lot! Are you following us or what? Y’know, Security heard you bungling around in here. It WAS you, right?''"
*"''Pffffffft! PUH-leeeeeeze! I am, like, SO sure!''"
*"''Are you, like, the biggest floozy ever or what?''"
*"''What’s with that burglar rat? I swear, I’m gonna headbonk her if she doesn’t watch it! But whatever… What do you think she meant about some poor souls upstairs?''"
*"''"The staircase switch"? What, is there supposed to be a staircase in here?''"
*"''Pssst! Mario! You listening to this?!? This whole missing fighter thing stinks of funny business! And here I just thought that King K retired and headed back to his hometown…''"
*"''Phew! Boy, that was close! Did you catch how Grubba just came out of left field with the Crystal Star bit? Jolene was acting totally weird, right? I’m betting she knows something… Anyway, for now, we’d better get out of here before someone finds us.''"
*"''Great. Our angry pen pal again. He sure seems to have a lot of information… I mean, if he knows about the Crystal Star AND the missing fighters… Then this guy is totally holding the key to this entire mystery! But like, who is it? WHO?!?''"
*"''Wow, looks totally yummy! I can NOT say no to cake! Let’s scarf that thing!''"
**(Eat)
**"''Yes! Cake time!''"
**"''Oh! OH! So GOOD! Hold your horses, Mario! I saved you a little…''"
**"''Wait… I feel kinda…weird. You ever feel like your body is like, totally going numb?''"
**"''Hey, I’m feeling better now! Way to kick some tail even without me, Mario! Still… A poisoned cake… Somebody was totally trying to take us out! We gotta be more careful, huh?''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''What’s your deal, Mario? I’m totally starving here! Are you watching carbs?''"
**"''Hey, Mario, you see what happended to our pal here?''"
**"''Omigosh! That cake must’ve totally been poisoned! Boy, if we’d eaten it… that’d be us on the floor!''"
*"''Hey! That’s another mail! What do you think? Our X friend of The Haterator?''"
*"''Oh, X again, huh? OK… I still don’t trust this guy, but I guess maybe it’s a clue… Something’s behind your posters in the lobby, huh? All right! I guess we gotta head to the lobby, then!''"
*"''What’s THAT key for?''"
*"''OMIGOSH! W-What happended here?!? Bandy Andy! And King K!''"
*"''Andy! Stay with us, OK? What do you mean, don’t get near the ring?!?''"
*"''Whoa! Did you see that, Mario? Was that…Jolene? What the heck is going on?''"
*"''Hey! Where do you think YOU’RE going, pal? Huh? The ring’s this way!''"
*"''Slow down, will ya, buddy? WHY are we going this weird way again?''"
*"''But this is a minor-league locker room! And speaking of which, where is everybody? I know he said to wait here… But, Mario, we’re gonna miss our fight against the champ!''"
*"''OK, they are like, totally, ridiculously late now! I’m gonna find out what’s up.''"
*"''Omigosh! Omigosh! Mario! It’s locked! The door’s locked! We’re totally trapped!''"
*"''Mario, if we don’t do something soon, we’re gonna forfeit that match! We gotta get out of here!''"
*"''I already tried that, Mario! It’s locked!''"
*"''Shoot! This one won’t budge either! This stinks!''"
*"''That…was maybe the grossest thing I’ve ever done. Uh-huh. But let’s get to the fight!''"
*"''Wow, looks like we actually made it! And listen to those cheers, Mario! They love you! C’mon, let’s go put this oversized rooster in his place, huh?!''"
*"''OK, Mario, this is it! A match with the champ! Let’s destroy this guy!''"
*"''What? What are you saying? Don’t tell me it was YOU who got that security guard to lock us up!''"
*"''So YOU’RE the jerk that’s been sending us mean e-mails about the Crystal Star!''"
*"''Yes! We finally did it, Mario! We destroyed him! But… You know, that Rawk Hawk really sounded like he hadn’t heard of the Crystal Star… And, I mean, even though we’re champs, we’re no closer to finding the real one…''"
*"''Hey! Mario! Am I going nuts or do you hear a voice coming from somewhere?''"
*"''Think it’s a ghost?''"
*"''W-W-WHOA! Turn the volume down on that thing! I almost screamed!''"
*"''Wait… There really IS a ghost in here? No WAY!''"
*"''This is the air duct, right? Where does it lead to?''"
*"''That’s GRUBBA! You think he could’ve made all those fighters disappear?''"
*"''Looks like he’s gone… Didn’t he say something about his desk drawer?''"
*"''There’s something! You think that’s the paper Grubba hid? Let’s take a peek, huh?''"
*"''Whoa! A machine under the ring using a Crystal Star? These are the blueprints! I don’t know much about that technical stuff, but I think the Crystal Star powers it! If this document’s accurate, then the machine can suck the power out of people! …Do you think that King K and Bandy Andy had been, like…drained?''"
*"''Quiet, you total scumbag! You sucked the life out of poor King K and Bandy Andy!''"
*"''C’mon, Mario! We can’t let that jerk get away!''"
*"''Look, Mario! Up there! The real Crystal Star!''"
*"''Using a Crystal Star to look good? You’re so totally vain! You’re gonna pay for that!''"
*"''Whoa! Grubba got huge!''"
*"''OK, Mario, I’ve had just about enough of this guy’s yapping! Let’s take him down!''"
*"''Jolene!''"
*"''So, the mysterious X who was sending those e-mails…''"
*"''Y’know, she came off all uppity, but she was just a girl who loved her brother.''"
*"''Whoa! Mario, check it out! The Crystal Star!''"
*"''Wow! The Crystal Star can do THAT?!?''"
*"''Wow, for real? We can just take it?''"
*"''Well, you heard her, Mario! Grab it!''"
*"''Yes! We have three Crystal Stars now! We’re rolling! Let’s head back to Rogueport, Mario!''"
*"''Mario! Hear that noise? That’s totally an e-mail from Princess Peach!''"
*"''What?!? They wanna rule the world? That does NOT sound like a friendly plan!''"
*"''Well, Mario… Why don't you take this as a reward for dealing with that guy. Ummm… You're carrying too many things at the moment. Why don't you take care of your inventory and then pick it up?''"
*"''Wow! What a freak!''"

==[[Goomfrey]]==
*"''The [[Box|package]]... Yep, that's it.''"
*"''I'll dispose of this in a way no one will ever find it. Tell [[McGoomba]] I said so.''"
*"''And do me a favor: forget all this. You hear me? It never happened. For your sake.''"
*"''We never spoke! Forget everything!''"
*"''And when you give [[McGoomba]] my message, he'll give you your compensation.''"
*"''Remember: this deal won't be done until you give my message to McGoomba.''"

==[[Goom Goom]]==
*"''Hey, thanks for taking on my trouble. All the way out here, too. I know it's far.''"
*"''I came out here to enjoy island life, but now that I'm here, I just feel lonely...''"
*"''There is no one to date. I mean, NO ONE. I'm chatting up sea turtles, here.''"
*"''So all I need you to do is introduce me to a nice girl. That's it. A girl. OK?''"
*"''I guess my type would be... Petite, younger than me, and pretty, not drop-dead hot.''"
*"''Yeah, a cute little Goomba gal would be just perfect... Please help me. Please.''"
*"''Hey, how’s it going? Did you happen to find a cute girl for...''"
*"''Whoa! That is one attractive shell… but that makes you… a Koopa of some kind. Not only that, but you're a dude. This is all wrong! Remember what I told you?''"
*"''Whoa! Now that is a very glamorous woman, indeed… But you're kind of… old… And you're not even a Goomba! This is all wrong! Remember what I told you?''"
*"''Whoa! Hey… You're petite, just like I asked… But you're a Yoshi! This is all totally wrong! Remember what I told you?''"
*"''Whoa! You sure are cute… But, um… That whole goth shadow thing is a bit… Creepy! There, I said it! This is all so very wrong! Remember what I told you?''"
*"''Whoa! How very, um… What's WRONG with you, huh? This is some crusty old dude! Do I look like I date old Bob-ombs? This is all wrong! Remember what I told you?''"
*"''Whoa! Well, well, well… This IS a cutie, oh yes… But you're some sort of rat! Close, but no Goomba! This is all so very wrong! Remember what I told you?''"
*"''Introduce me to a cute Goomba gal! Now come on! I’m dying over here!''"
*"''Whoa! Yeah! Wow! Yow! She’s cute! REALLY cute! And that ponytail! Man!''"
*"''Perfect! Slam dunk, man! Suh-lam duh-unk! This may be a bit soon...''"
*"''But I have to confess my love to this girl!''"
*"''Err... Uhh... Hi. Do you believe in love at first sight, angel? Because, you know, I do, and...''"
*"''I love you!''"
*"''I think I have loved you since before I was born... Please! Go out with me!''"
*"''What? You have a boyfriend?''"
*"''Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan... I’ve had enough of this...''"
*''<big><big>"PEACE!"</big></big>''

==[[Grifty]]==
*"''Good afternoon to you, sir! I am called Grifty, the traveling minstrel. I spend my days here in leisure, spinning tales that spin the senses!''"
*"''I know but a few of the stories that surround the town of Rogueport... If you like, I can share them with you...but it will require just a few coins.''"
*"''Is there a tale you want to hear? These are the tales I can tell you now.''"

==[[Grubba]] / [[Macho Grubba]]==
*"''Hooooo-WEEEEEEE! [[Rawk Hawk|Champ]]! That was a grade-A whuppin'! Yer thoughts on the match!''"
*"''Who in tarnation are [[Mario|you]], son? And who let you in?!? This is Grubba's office! Yep, that's me, Grubba! An' you, yer one rude dude, comin' in without knockin'!''"
*"''What, now? An athlete, huh? You wanna become a fighter?''"
*"''Hoo–WEE! That do change a thang or two, son! I always got time for an up-an'-comer! Yep, [[Glitz Pit|this place]] is packed to the gills with young fighters, all primed and a-rarin' to go! I gotta say, son, yer a bit skinny fer my tastes, but I'm willin' to give you a shot. Now, play me straight, son: you wanna live the glamourous life of a champ, don'tcha?''"
*"''All right! All right, son! I hear where yer comin' from, son, loud an' clear!''"
*"''When I was just a poor pup, I didn't give a [[Pokey]]'s patoot for fancy, big–city ways. But I jumped into the world of martial arts and fought my way to fame and riches!''"
*"''An' know what I realized? Bein' rich an' famous is diggety–dang DYNAMITE! Now, I can't mix it up in the ring no more, but I earned enough to set me for life. You readin' me here, son? Dreams do come true, even if they ain't yours, exactly!''"
*"''Yep, that's the key, son! Dream big, and you'll GET big, that's the winner's way! And when you make it big, you'll look back at all those small–dreamers and LAUGH! You readin' me here, son? That's the spirit, chief! Here, let's have us a little walk 'n' talk. C'mon, now!''"
*"''Now how you like THIS, pard? Just feast yer eyes, go on! This...is the champion's room. Isn't it a sight? Deeee-luxe! You become champ, son, and you get the key to this room! That ain't all, of course! That's on TOP of the big money and screamin' fans! Yeah, no doubt about it, son! Apply yourself an' a life of wealth an' comfort awaits!''"
*"''Now, uh, here we have the major-league locker room. A lotta contenders here! Whatcha think, son? Huh? Not exactly glamourous, but it's clean and comfortable. Totally sanitary, too. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I CARE about my fighters, darn it!''"
*"''Now... I'm sure you know this already, son, but there ain't but one world champion. Clawin' your way to the top an' takin' the belt to become champ ain't an easy thing... But that's the point, son! Wouldn't be worth it if there weren't no challenge! I can see you got the fire for it, too, pard! You got the eye of the tiger, there! Yer gonna be champ, I can just FEEL it! I ain't never been so sure about a fighter!''"
*"''! Oh, hey, one other thing... You gotta sign a itty-bitty contract to be a fighter. It ain't no thing, just take a second or two of yer time. Just jot your name here, OK?''"
*"''What in the hey? You lose yer taste for glory, son? Well, I can't say I understand yer change of heart, but...ain't nothin' I can do. I like yer style, though, so if you ever change yer mind... Just come on back, you hear?''"
*"''Hey, it's the future champ! So, you got yer nerve back up, did you, son? All right, then: how about you just gimme yer autograph on this here contract?''"
*"''Best thing you ever done, son! Now, yer Mario? Ain't a bad handle... Still, I gotta say, pard, it lacks a little punch as a fighter's name, get me? Lemme see, here... Bam! Hoooooo-WEEEEEEEEE! I got it!!! From now on, yer gonna be...the Great Gonzales! Hoo! Ain't that a beaut? Dang if that ain't a stroke of genius! A name that good comes 'round once a lifetime! Yep, everyone will soon bow before the Great Gonzales! Make me proud, son!''"
*"''Well, now that we got the business side outta the way... [[Jolene]]? could you come in a minute, darlin'?''"
*"''Sure did, hon. Jolene, this is the Great Gonzales, our newest risin' star. Be a peach and take him on down to the minor-league locker room, all righty?''"
*"''Well, howdy, Gonzales! Ready to get yer fists dirty, huh? There you go, son! I got a treat fer you: yer first battle's gonna be against [[the Goomba Bros.]]! Don't you worry 'bout them... They'll be a piece of cake! Just mop 'em up, OK, son? Hey, we wanna get everyone fired up, though, so [[appeal]] to the crowd at least once! You got any questions about detailed rules, just ask the lovely Ms. Jolene, OK, son? Well, good luck, pard!''"
*"''Squarin' off next, folks... are the Hoppin' Hardheads... the GOOMBA BROS.! Aaaaaand... A newcomer with a hankerin' for hammerin', the Greeeeeat GONZALES! The Goomba Bros. have been waitin' an' gettin' all het up for the fight. Let's check in! How do, Goomba Bros.! How're y'all feelin' today? You ready fer this fight?''"
*"''Hot-diggety-DANG, fight fans! There's the Great Gonzales now, stridin' on up! I tell you, this rookie's got some guts, strollin' up late like he owns the place! Hoo! OK, now, Gonzales, listen up. Lemme just explain the rules of the match real quick...''"
*"''We got ourselves a winner! The (fighter/team name)!''"
*"''The Great Gonzales wins! Tell me, son, what was this first taste of victory like?''"
*"''I'll tell you what I just saw, folks: a whuppin'! This kid's got skills! We got ourselves a new hero! Let's hear it for him, folks! Yeah! The Great Gonzales!''"
*"''Well, Gonzales, that fight wasn't a total loss... But listen, son, fighters gotta play to the crowd! You know, pump 'em up more! I'm hopin' you'll gimme more razzle-dazzle next time, huh? We understand each other? Good. I'll be on my way, then. Ms. Jolene here'll give you yer fight money. See ya!''"
*"''Well, boy howdy, [[Mario|Gonzales]]! Fixin' for a fight, huh? Well, all righty then! Lemme just see here... Yer next opponent will be... Ranked (number) in the Glitz Pit... the (fighter/team name)!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' any of them there [[Flower Point]]s! Yeah, you heard me! Let's see how you do without none of them fancy-pants moves! Now get in there an' show me somethin', son!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to stand pat, OK? Do...not...attack...at all. The crowd loves yer [[partner]], so give 'em what they want! Drive 'em bonkers! Now get in there and share that spotlight!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to keep that pard of yers from attackin'! You hear me? Keep that li'l firebrand in check, got it? Only you attack. Now get in there and show 'em who's boss, now!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to not attack fer the first three turns, OK? Fans love it when their heroes make 'em sweat a bit, am I right or am I right? Now get in there an' bring home the bacon!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to appeal to the crowd at least three times! These fans eat that stuff up. A little grandstandin' from their hero, an' they go nuts! Now get in there an' get 'em riled up, son!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to win BEFORE you take 20 [[HP]] of pain! Our fans don't wanna see a battered hero win by the skin of his teeth, son! Now get in there , show me some grit, pard!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to use at least one special move, OK? The crowd needs somethin' flashy, you catch my drift? Give 'em a good show. Now get in there an' blow the roof off, son!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to win after yer HP goes down to 5! Crowds do love a comeback, don't they! You better diggety-dang believe it! Now get in there an' take a beatin' for ol' Grubba!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to wrap it up in five turns or less! I got a date with a cute little chickadee in just a few, an' I don't wanna be late! Now get in there an' bring this puppy home quick!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid switchin' partners out! Gotta go with who brung you! A fight to the end, side by side! Now THAT'S drama! Now get in there an' stand by yer pard!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' any items! Empty them pockets! Real men don't need no trinkets to help 'em hand out a proper whuppin', you hear? Now get in there an' knock some heads the old-fashioned way, will ya?''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' any of them there special moves! I think the crowd's cravin' a nice, long battle at its simplest and finest! Now get in there an' don't go a-grandstandin'!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' your [[hammer]]! Not even once, son! I wanna see how you do when you ain't got somethin' to beat a fella with. Now get in there an' let's see some acrobatifyin'!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to avoid usin' yer [[jump]]. No jumpin' whatsoever. I wanna see a pure test of power without none of that flouncin' around. You get me? Now get in there an' hand out a whuppin' or two!''"
*"''Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to let yer enemy damage you five times, OK? It's just so dang borin' when a match is too one-sided, you hear what I'm sayin' to you? Now get in there an' kick some behind!''"
*"''Fer our next battle, we got the Merciless Executioner, the GREAT GONZALES and... The (fighter/team nickname)... Yep, a fight to the finish with The (fighter/team name)!''"
*"''Get yerselves ready to... BAAAAAATLE!''"
*"''We got ourselves a winner! THE GRRRRRREAT GONZALES!''"
*"''Well, howdy, [[Sir Swoop]]! Ready to get yer wings dirty, huh? There you go, son! I got a treat fer you: yer first battle's gonna be against the Goomba Bros.! Don't you worry 'bout them... They'll be a piece of cake! Just mop 'em up, OK, son? Hey, we wanna get the crowd fired up, so do a move where you do a triple flip and meow! You got any questions about detailed rules, just ask the lovely Ms. Jolene, OK, son? Well, good luck, pard!''"
*"''Well, dog my cats! If it ain't the Great Gonzales! Fixin' for a fight, huh? Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! Hoo-wee! Yer gonna love this! Yer next opponent is... Ranked 10 in the Glitz Pit... [[The Iron Adonis Twins|The Armored Harriers]]! That's right! Yer darn tootin'! Yer finally gonna make a go at the major league, son! We're expectin' great things from you, so don't you go a-lettin' us down, now!''"
*"''And now...today's main event! The major league awaits the 11th-ranked Great Gonzales... But only if he can beat the 10th-ranked powerhouses... The Iron Adonis Twins! First, let's get the Merciless Executioner in here, folks! THE GRRRREAT GONZALES!''"
*"''Hooooooooo-WEEEEEEEEEE! The Great Gonzales! How're you feelin'?''"
*"''Whoa, nelly! You heard the fella, folks! He's obviously itchin' to mix it up some!''"
*"''Hyuk hyuk! Your challenger is real confident, boys! Yep, he's talkin' trash... "Iron Adonis Twins?" he said. "More like Paper Dog-Face Bros.! ...And they stink!" And then he said: "I bet they just play video games an' cry when they lose!" Um, yeah, and then he said... "Outie belly buttons run in their family! Stinkwads!" ...And so on. Yep.''"
*"''Cooooooooongratulations!! Great Gonzales! With this win, you made the major league! Now, THAT, folks, was what I call a wiiiiild an' wooly fight! A diggety-dang DOOZY! Keep it up, kid! You're goin' places, I can tell! Hoo-wee! C'mon, now, folks, give it up! We got a new major-leaguer! LET'S HEAR IT FOR HIM!!!''"
*"''Muh-Muh-Ms. Jolene! You mind yer manners, now! We KNOCK 'round here, missy!''"
*"''Don't you worry yer pretty li'l head about it none. Now, what'd I want again? Somethin' 'bout Gonzales... Oh, yeah! Gonzales, you ol' so-an'-so! Lemme congratulate you, son! Major league already, huh? I had a feelin' you were goin' places, and DANG, I love it when I'm right! You just keep on puttin' tuckuses in them seats! I'm countin' on you, son. I got a special li'l somethin'-somethin' for you. Go on! Take it!''"
*"''So, yeah, somethin' else that's been on my mind... Yer costume ain't cool. No big deal, son, but hey. Someday, if you become champ, I'll get you a new one. Somethin' hot pink, maybe with some frills or somethin'. You'll look a sight, son! Anyway, that's somethin' fer another day, pard. Take a powder, OK?''"
*"''Whoa, nelly! I don't believe my eyes, folks! The Iron Adonis Twins are in a rage!''"
*"''Whoa! Talk about carnage! Great Gonzales goes down! An unsanctioned match like this won't affect his rankin', but hoo-WEE! What a beatin'! The gauntlet's been thrown down! What'll happen next? Who knows, but it'll be wild!''"
*"''Hoooooooo-WEEEEEEEEEE! That's our Great Gonzales, friends and neighbors! Kid don't even blink when the Iron Adonis Twins barge in and attack! Woo! Tough! He's too dang tough! Yeah, this kid is only bound for bigger things, folks!''"
*"''Until next time, everyone... See ya!''"
*"''Keep sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong and you are D-E-A-D M-E-A-T.''" (email)
*"''Whoa! [[Bowser|Another fighter]]'s stormin' in, screamin' his fool head off about somethin'! Gonzales has lots of foes, folks! Some who don't even know his name! Will he live?''"
*"''Whoa! Great Gonzales lost! Who woulda thunk it, folks? Who was that mystery fighter, anyhoo? It's one mystery after another!''"
*"''Hoo! That's our Gonzales! He don't even bat an eye when some nut ambushes him! Tough! Yer too tough, son! And yer only gonna get tougher! Stay tuned, folks!''"
**"''Hoo! That's our Gonzales! He don't even bat an eye when some fool ambushes him! Tough! Yer too tough, son! And yer only gonna get tougher! Stay tuned, folks!''" (Switch)
*"''...So you didn't find hide or hair of nobody in the storage room, that what yer sayin'?''"
*"''Well, no big deal either way. Ain't nothin' in there we'd miss too much anyway. Thanks fer stayin' on top of this, Jolene. Hey, an' by the way, any word on King K?''"
*"''Hoo, fighters have sure been goin' missin' a lot lately! That's the fifth this year! What in tarnation's goin' on? I even heard some [[Glitz Pit Security|security ijit]] sayin' the Pit's cursed!''"
*"''Well, fer the time bein', tell the other fellas that [[King K]] headed on home for a spell. If word gets out about missin' fighters, it sure ain't gonna be good for business, no siree! Nasty rumors have a way of sendin' folks runnin' to the hills, know what I mean?''"
*"''Y'know, Jolene... Yer a dang fine manager, but you just plumb disappear sometimes... I gotta know! Where in the world do you go, darlin'?''"
*"''Easy! Didn't mean to pry, now! How 'bout this, then... Heard of the [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]]?''"
*"''Okeydoke, well, I 'preciate yer time, Ms. Jolene. You go ahead an' run along, now, y'hear?''"
*"''Well, if this ain't a fine how-do-you-do! Seems like good fighters are a dyin' breed. That wild child Gonzales is just about the only draw I still got 'round here.''"
*"''What in the hey?!? Dang ceilin' is spookin' me! HEY! Somebody up there?''"
*"''...Hoo, nelly!''"
*"''Just a little ol' mouse... Here I am, thinkin' someone's up there a-peepin'!''"
*"''Just a little ol' kitty... Here I am, thinkin' someone's up there a-peepin'!''"
*"''Just a little burpin' beetle... Here I am, thinkin' someone's up there a-peepin'!''"
*"''I gotta relax...take some yoga classes or somethin'... Yep. Well, back to the ring!''"
*"''This is your last warning! Stop snooping around about the Crystal Star! If you don't, you'll suffer the same fate as the others who have gone missing...''" (email)
*"''Whoa! Hold the phone, folks! What in tarnation is going on here?!? The Great Gonzales is flyin' solo this time! How's he gonna survive all alone?''"
*"''The Great Gonzales! Howdy! Fixin' for a fight, huh? Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! Well, guess what? Your next match is...THE TITLE MATCH! Hoooo-WEEEEE! Darn tootin'! You're up against the champ, Rawk Hawk! Now, I wanna see a fair an' excitin' match, so don't you let me down, now, you hear? Now listen, son: in this battle, I want you to use at least one special move, OK? The crowd needs somethin' flashy, you catch my drift? Give 'em a good show. Now get in there an' blow the roof off, son!''"
*"''Now fer today's main event! The top dog of the major league... The Great Gonzales... ...Is finally gonna throw down with the champ! The one...the only...RAWK HAWK! First to enter the ring... The Feral Nuclear Reactor! [[Rawk Hawk|RAAAAAWWWK HAAAAAWWWK!]]''"
*"''Hooooo, DOGGIES! Champ! How're you feelin', son? Yer challenger's a handful!''"
*"''But the Great Gonzales made it to the top of the majors faster than anyone, ever! He even got up there faster than YOU did, Champ! What you got to say about that?''"
*"''And now for our challenger... The Merciless Executioner... THE GRRREAT GOOONZALES!!! ...Hold the phone, folks! What the hey's going on? What happened to the Great Gonzales?!?''"
*"''Hoo-WEE! What a stupefyin' development, folks! Did the Great Gonzales really turn yella an' head fer the hills like a dog?!? I tell you what, folks... If he don't show soon, he's a-gonna forfeit the match!''"
*"''! The moment you been waitin' for, folks! The Great Gonzales just entered the arena!''"
*"''Just listen to this crowd hoot 'n' holler fer the challenger, Great Gonzales! Will his hammer of hurt 'n' harm be enough to rock the Rawk Hawk's socks? Now, at long last, the battle to end all battles is here! Let's keep it clean, boys!''"
*"''Folks, I feel like my eyes just popped outta my head! We got ourselves a miracle! Technique versus technique! Raw power versus raw power! A clash of superhumans! Folks, this was truly, honestly, without question, no doubt, absolutely... The most legendary, amazin', improbable, history-makin' bout of all TIME! And the victor in this match fer the ages was... THE GRRRREAT GONZAAALES! Congratulations, Gonzales! Yer the champion, son!! Give him a hand, folks! The new Glitz Pit champ! THE GRRRRREAT GONZALES!''"
*"''Well, you finally did it, son! Today's yer first day as the new champ! Here's yer [[Champ's Belt|belt]]!''"
*"''Tell you what: I'm gonna go ahead an' get you set up in the champ's room right away. Ms. Jolene, be a peach an' show Gonzales here the champion's room, OK?''"
*"''Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! Well, THAT'S in perfect condition, as usual! Yep, long as I got THAT baby workin' fer me, this ol' bod ain't NEVER gonna get weak! But I'm gonna have to watch my tootsies here fer a little bit... First I let that King K ijit walk in on me when I was with...THAT... An' now I can't shake the feelin' that Jolene an' Gonzales are onto me... Well, I guess I'll burn that bridge when the time comes. I'll just disappear 'em! Yep, just like I did to them others...like I did to [[Prince Mush]], the first champ!''"
*"''I better lock this room up tighter 'n a peanut butter jar at a squirrel convention. An' I'll just go ahead an' hide the paper relatin' to THAT in the desk drawer... There we go! Y'know what, though? Since I'm thinkin' aloud, here... Good fighters ain't nothin' to mess with. Even Rawk Hawk lost to Gonzales. This new champ might have to disappear purty soon. For my sake...''"
*"''GREAT GALLOPIN' [[Gulpit|GULPITS]]! How in tarnation did YOU get in here, son?''"
*"''Well, slap me an' call me Sassafras! Yer starin' at my secret paper, too!''"
*"''Whoa, nelly! This ain't good!''"
*"''I gotta say, y'all are a coupla slack–jawed idiots, sniffin' 'round my business...''"
*"''Now you know my big secret, I'm afraid yer gonna have to take a li'l ol' dirt nap.''"
*"''Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! How you like my machine? Pretty dang nice, huh?''"
*"''Yep, I've been suckin' power from fighters with this baby! SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!''"
*"''Yer darn tootin'! An' you know why? 'Cause it keeps my bod forever young, son!''"
*"''Oh, just shut yer traps, now! I'll use MY [[Gold Star|Crystal Star]] however I dang please!''"
*"''Check THIS out! HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSCLE–UP!''"
*"''MAAAAAAAAAACHO GRUBBA!''"
*"''Hoo–wee! I'm gonna smoosh you guys into guacamole an' snack on YER energy, too!''"
*"''MAAAACHO! I'm a powerhouse now, you pesterin' li'l pieces of prairie piffle! So long's I have this here machine, my bod'll be rough, tough, an' ultrabuff!''"
*"''Oh yeah! Keep it spicy! You know I love a good tussle, Gonzales! Keep on scrappin', son! 'Course, it ain't gonna do you much good in the end...''"
*"''Not too shabby, Gonzales! You got showmanship, an' that's GOLD in this biz! But this here battle's just gettin' started! It's time I showed you some real moves! Back in the day, I had so many rump–kickin' moves, they had to make some illegal!''"
*"''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! I ain't finished yet, Gonzales!!! Ain't over 'til it's over! That's the way it goes in combat sports, son! And lemme tell you somethin: fortune's gonna smile on me in the end, punk!''"
*"''YAAAAARGH!''"
*"''Noooo... How'd this happen? How could a perfect bod like mine lose to such a chub? Oh...Great...Gonzales... Great fight, there, son. Great...fight. Urrrrrrrrrgh...''"
**"''Noooo... How'd this happen? How could a perfect bod like mine lose to such a schlub? Oh...Great...Gonzales... Great fight, there, son. Great...fight. Urrrrrrrrrgh...''" (Switch)
*"''Urrrgh... Prince Mush... He... He...discovered the secret of my...power-suckin' machine... I had him...urgh...disappear. Any which way you look at it...oooog...he ain't around these parts no more.''"

==[[Gus]]==
*"''Whoa! Whoa! Hold up, now! You're an outsider!''"
*"''Past this point is the turf of [[Ishnail]], head of the Robbos. It's 10 [[coin]]s to pass through.''"
*"''You try to pass without paying, and I'm afraid I'll have to whip you but good.''"
*"''One, two, three...Yup! That's 10 coins all right! You can pass.''"
*"''Whoa! Whoa! Hold up, now! You don't have enough cash! You dirty, lying cheapskate!''"
*"''It's really simple. If you don't pay, you don't pass.''"
*"''What? You gotta be kidding. You think you can fight your way through here?''"
*"''I'm gonna make you eat your words, [[Mario|tough guy]]! Let's get this party started!''"
*"''CRUD! You dumb video–game heroes ALWAYS pull this stuff! It's RIDICULOUS! You think violence solves everything, don't you? Huh? DON'T YOU?!?''"
*"''You're amazing! I think I might even brag about the fact that you wrecked me!''"
*"''...No, wait a second. I can't brag about getting beaten over 10 measly [[coin]]s... That's pathetic! Crud!!!''"

==[[Hamma Jamma]]==
*"''My grandpappy's hammer is gonna strike [[Mario|you]] down, man! Here it comes!''"
*"''What did you like the best? The burning? The beating? Or maybe the boomeranging?''"
*"''Hey, where'd you get the hammer? You're biting my style! I'M the hammer guy!''"
*"''You oughta know, man, this hammer was forged by my grandpappy... You really think a new model like that can stand up to a vintage heirloom like this?''"
*"''My grandpappy used to tell me great hammer stories... [[World 7-1 (Super Mario Bros.)|World 7-1]], that was his 'hood. I'm gonna become champion to honor his memory, man!''"
*"''My father decided to quit [[Hammer Bro|Hammer Bros.]] school and go to Business Bros. school... How could he do that? ...I guess it's the responsible thing to do, but sheesh...''"
*"''The day my grandpappy finished this hammer... Sniff... I fought by his side!''"
*"''By the way, my mother gave me this helmet but told me not to tell my father... Yeah, I left my whole family behind to come make a name for myself... They cheer me... I have to make it to the top for them, man!''"
*"''My father, the Business Bro, is in the audience today! He worries about me getting hurt doing this kind of work... I can't let him see me lose! If things are going badly, knock him on his back, OK?''"
*"''You start to lose confidence when your rank doesn't go up, know what I mean, man? Hey, but I've come this far, so I can't stop now! I have to fight for all the Koopas who helped me get here! I HAVE to, man!''"
*"''You know, I'm actually a little jealous of your hammer... I mean, your SKILL! But forget skill! I'm gonna TRY harder than you and become champ anyway!''"

==[[Hayzee]]==
*"''I'm Hayzee And I must say, [[Luigi]] is a great actor, one of the finest Iv'e seen!''"
*"''After this adventure, we're going on tour to appear on stages everywhere!''"
*"''I'm going to be known as 'The Red Miracle'! And of course, [[Luigi]] will be grass!''"

==[[Heff T.]]==
*"''Whoawhoawhoawhoa! What do you want?!?''"
*"''BUUUUUUUUUURP!''"
*"''Sorry about that. Now...What were you just saying? A [[Galley Pot|pot]] from the kitchen?''"
*"''Oh, I get it! Food gets stolen and you blame the chubby guy! NOT NICE!!!''"
**''"Oh, I get it! Food gets stolen and you blame ME right away with no evidence. NOT NICE!!!"'' (Switch)
*"''What? Drops of stew on the floor outside?''"
*"''N-No... I wouldn't know anything about that! No! People spill stuff!''"
*"''And there's nothing in the drawer, so no need to look! You won't find a thing!''"
*"''Doh! ......''"
*"''I'm sorry! I ate it all! It was MEEEEEEEEE!''"
*"''Yes... Yes, that's right.''"
*"''I'm so sorry, but it was a brief moment of weakness...Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!''"

==[[Hooktail]]==
*"''Who dares approach me?''"
*"''Hmm... So... You are friends of the strange–garbed one who came earlier? I didn't expect more to come to steal the treasure I protect... Such rashness...''"
**"''Hmm... I didn't expect more to come to steal the treasure I protect...''" (Switch)
*"''That was foolish, I fear. Do you really think you can beat me?''"
*"''But you're so small. And you don't appear tasty. I suppose you might make a good snack. 
*"''And the bottoms of your feet smell like they might make a good sauce with some spices. What I'll do is saute you to crispy goodness and gobble you down...HEADFIRST!''"
**"''After gnawing on the bottoms of your feet, I'll sauté you to crispy goodness and gobble you down...HEADFIRST!''" (Switch)
*"''Snack time, little appetizers! But which one of you morsels should I taste first?''"
*"''Bleck! That awful sound! It...sounds like a cricket! How did you know? Stop that this instant!''"
**"''Bleck! That awful sound! It...sounds like a frog! How did you know?''" (Switch)
*"''Urp... I got really bad...ugh... food poisoning once when I ate a cricket. I HATE them!''"
**"''Urp... I got really bad...ugh... food poisoning once when I ate a frog. I HATE them!''" (Switch)
*"''Oh... Fight it, Hooky... Just hearing a cricket chirp makes me feel woozy!''"
**"''Oh... Fight it, Hooky... Just hearing the sound of them makes me feel woozy!''" (Switch)
*"''Ooooog... Must...not...gag... My poor tummy... Uuuuurp... So very woozy...''"
**"''Ooooog... Must...not...gag... So very woozy...''" (Switch)
*"''W-Wait! Hold up a moment! I give up! Please! I won't be so bad anymore. I promise! In fact, I'm sorry! For everything! Er... Yeah...''"
*"''To prove it, I'll give you 1,000 coins! What do you say? Can you forgive me?''"
***"''To prove it, I'll give you 10,000 coins! What do you say? Can you forgive me?''" (Switch)
*"''Delicious! I knew you would! Money makes the world turn! Now, come get your coins...''"
*"''OHHHH ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! You were completely duped by my ingenious ruse!''"
*"''You senseless yokels! Nothing in life is that easy! Your gullibility did you in!''"
*"''What? You must be joking! You don't need any coins? Then how about the lovely, rare, extra-special badge I have? I'll give you that. It's one of a kind! And it's yours for a limited time only! Will you take it?''"
*"''Of course you want it! Who wouldn't? Now, come here and get your badge...''"
*"''Errr... This isn't looking so good...''"
*"''Errrr... Really?!? Well, I suppose I could apologize by letting you smell the bottoms of my feet.''" 
*"''People pay good money to do this. I'm being completely honest right now. Really.''"
*"''So? Care to take a whiff of the rich, yet delicate scent of my world-renowned feet?''"
***"''So? Care to take a whiff of the rich, yet delicate scent of my world-renowned feet? One-time offer...''" (Switch)
*"''Heh heh heh... Thought so. No nostril contact, though! Now! Come here and sniff!''"
*"''Hrrrrrrrrmmmm! You aren't a very trusting fellow, are you? It's important to be able to trust someone, you know.''"
*"''Err... I guess I'd better...''"
*"''Ohhh ho ho ho ho ho ho! Ahhh! Now my strength has returned to me!''"
*"''Blurp! Why do I always have to feel so faint every time I hear a...urp...cricket?''"
**"''Blurp! Why do I always have to feel so faint every time I hear a...urp...frog?''" (Switch)
*"''B-But... I... I... GURK! How? Why? There's still so much I wanted to do with my life... So many meals...''"

==[[Ishnail]]==
*"''What's that? [[Mario|You]] wanna know how to meet that lying, stealing, jerky–for–brains, [[Don Pianta]]?''"
*"''Real thieves like [[Robbo Thieves|us]] end up poor as dirty, never catchin' a break 'cause of that guy!''"
*"''Fine, Mr. Insensitive Jerk, but it's gonna cost you [[Nintendo 64|64]] [[coin]]s.''"
*"''YESSS! I mean, good call.''"
*"''Hey, you! That was amazin'! I can't believe how you cleared out [[Shadow Queen|that darkness]]!''"
*"''You really are incredible! If I ever have a problem, I'm goin' straight to you.''"
*"''You saved the [[Mushroom World|world]], guy! You're welcome here anytime! My house is yours!''"

==[[Jerry]]==
*"''Hi, I guess. I'm Jerry. I'm a [[Bob-omb]] from [[List of implied locations#Plumpbelly Village|Plumpbelly Village]]. Nice meeting [[Mario|you]].''"
*"''Sorry I sound so down, but you would be too if you saw [[Luigi]] dressed as a bride.''"
*"''I'm serious. It scarred me. It was honestly scarier than that [[List of implied characters#Hizza|giant snake-thing]].''"
*"''I feel I now have a moral duty to stop Luigi from ever dressing as a bride again.''"
*"''I have to protect the world from my fate. That's why I'm sticking close to this guy.''"

==[[Jolene]]==
*"''Get ready to... BRAAAAWL!''"
*"''Mr. Champion! No, I mean, [[Mario]]...''"
*"''Please allow me to express my earnest thanks for defeating that foul [[Grubba]].''"
*"''Now, sir... I mean, NO! NOT "SIR"! Grubba! I want answers, and I want them NOW! What have you done with my precious little brother? You know what I'm talking about: The first champion, [[Prince Mush|PRINCE MUSH]]!''"
*"''Let me tell you everything. I had a little brother once, by the name of Mush. He's have done anything for me. Our family was always poor, so he became a fighter here to support all of us... But he suddenly went missing one day. Our family was inconsolable. I suspected foul play, so I got hired on as the manager and investigated in secret. As I looked for clues about my brother, I accidentally saw Mr. Grubba transform. Seeing what I was up against, I almost gave up hope...and then you appeared. So I decided to secretly guide you.''"
*"''Well, [[Rawk Hawk|Champ]], tell us about your mind–set! After all, today's challenger is... The Great Gonzales, the only man to ever wrestle [[Champ's Belt|the belt]] away from you!''"
*"''But, Champ, Gonzales showed no signs of rust in climbing back up to the ranks...''"
*"''He shattered his own records, one after another! How does THAT strike you?''"
*"''Big words from the champ! And now, the challenger, who needs no introduction!''"
*"''The former champ returns!! The Superstar Sequel... The GREAT GOOOOOONZALES!''"
*"''Listen to the crowd give it up for the brave challenger, the Great Gonzales!''"
*"''It's been a while since these two met... but who will emerge victorious this time?''"
*"''The battle is ready to begin! Ring that bell!''"
*"''Two champions, face to face at last! The excitement among the crowd has reached a new peak!''"
*"''It's time to ring the starting bell…and begin a match that will echo the halls of the Glitz Pit for eternity!''" (Switch only, Prince Mush Exhibition Match)
*"''Who could've seen this coming? You couldn't PLAN a more ferocious battle!''"
*"''Wild moves, raw power, fists and feathers of fury... What beautiful destruction!''"
*"''This was without a doubt, inarguably, definitely, absolutely, completely...''"
*"''An EXTREEEEEME battle of the very highest caliber!''"
*"''But there could only be one winner, and this time, it was the GREAT GOOOOOONZALES!''"
*"''Congratulations, Gonzales! Once again, you're our champion!!''"
*"''Congratulations, Gonzales. I was a little worried that you were over the hill, but you made quite a comeback! You are a true champion!''"
*"''Now... I think I know what you're thinking... You plan to move on, don't you?''"
*"''Well, that's fine, of course. I'll keep you registered in case you were wish to return.''"
*"''Come back and give the folks a thrill every now and then. You know, defend your title!''"
*"''Of course, if you lose, you'll have to drop back down into the major league...''"
*"''Well then, I'm rather busy, as usual, so you'll have to excuse me.''"
*"''I need to work out a plan to bring Rawk Hawk back. That guy really draws crowds!''"
*"''Have a nice day, Gonzales.''"
*"''Please, Mr. Gonzales, I'm very busy these days. Fight promotion is not easy!''"
*"''Please see yourself out. And have a nice day!''"
*"''Thank you, Great Gonzales...No, Thank you, MARIO...You're a true champion.''"
*"''Huh? Who am I, you ask? Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! You don't know? I'm someone you know quite well, actually. When I go outside the arena, I like to cut loose and shed my other personality...''"
*"''Fight on, Mario...''"

==[[Kammy Koopa]]==
*"''Ah! Lord [[Bowser]]!''"
*"''I've just now returned. I'm terribly sorry to keep [[Bowser|you]] waiting, my lord.''"
*"''Please, Your Grumpiness! Don't be so impatient with your poor servant. Ahem... It's my displeasure to report that Mario, that scum, is off to a town called [[Rogueport]].''"
*"''Yes, well, you see, [[Bowser|my lord]]... Apparently Mario is hunting for an amazing treasure.''"
*"''Yes, [[Mario]] has gone in search of star-shaped jewels known as the [[Crystal Stars]]. I'm researching just what they are...but there's no question of their high value.''"
*"''Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Leave it to me. By the way, Lord Bowser... Do you like fried eggs?''"
*"''Well, during my [[Mario]] recon, I stopped in a lovely place called [[Petal Meadows]]. I was planning on taking everyone there for a picnic, having some eggs and toast... Of course, I wouldn't think of sending out invites without asking you first, Lord [[Bowser]]!''"
*"''Oh, dear... Lord Bowser... Please calm down... Remember your blood pressure...''"
*"''Hm? What's that?''"
*"''Whaaaaat??? Is this TRUE?!?''"
*"''Lord [[Bowser]]! Terrible news! Some bold fool abducted [[Princess Peach]] in [[Rogueport]]!''"
*"''I'm afraid we don't have that information quite yet... The investigation's ongoing. One thing is most certainly confirmed, however: [[Princess Peach|the princess]] has been kidnapped.''"
*"''But... Your Grunginess! Wait up!''"
*"''Right as usual, Lord Bowser! We just got word that [[Princess Peach]] was spotted in the town up ahead."''
*"''Mweh heh heh heh heh! My lord! You're so super!''"
*"''Lord Bowser! Over there!!!"''
*"''Mweh heh heh! Clearly she's so overcome with joy that she's been left speechless! The mind of a maiden is, well, rather... complicated. Mweh heh heh heh heh!"''
*""'Oh, my goodness me... Didn't see that coming..."''
*"''Did you say something, Your Rudeness?"''
*"''Those were some [[Punies]]. One of them should know about the [[Crystal Stars|Crystal Star]]... They fear you, so they're all hiding. Let's find them all and get the info we need."''
*"''Ha! See?!? I KNEW it! [[Puni elder|This ugly thing]] knows where the Crystal Star is! Tell us!"''
*"''EEEEEEEEEP! My heart! Don't startle me like that! I'm too old for this stuff!''"
*"''...Ahem! Uh, yes, Lord Bowser? You look as if you're just dying to say something!"''
*"''It's "MARIO"! Not "MARTY-O"! And it's not "Princess Pinch"! Her name is "Princess PEACH"! ...But your senility is beside the point! The princess and the treasures must be connected! Mario's trying to get it all! Treasures, princesses... Does his greed never end?''"
*"''My lord! I've received reports of a great secret in the floating town of [[Glitzville]]! Let's ride the Cheep Blimp there! Come now!"''
*"''You there! Two tickets! One Great and Evil King! And one Sweet, Young Thing!''"
*"''...WHAT did he just say? Hey! Come back here, you! Impudent little cheep-skate!"''
*"''Hey! I'm talking to myself! Where'd Lord Bowser go?"''
*"'' Wait! Lord Bowser, please! Awwwww... Now my Special Dirigible Deluxe Brown Bag Kammy Lunch will go to waste...''"
*"''HERE you are, Lord Bowser! What are you doing here? I've been looking all over! If I may ask, where have you been, Your Sogginess?"''
*"''Really? Neat! As for me... Glitzville was FANTASTIC! The fights were SO COOL! I was overcome! Why, even at my age, I was shaking what my momma gave me! And then...the [[Hot Dog (item)|Hot Dog]]s! Oh, my gracious! YUMMERLY! You have fun, too? Hm?''"
*"''Lord Bowser... Is that a "no"?"''
*"''The light's odd because this is [[Twilight Town]], my lord. Should be treasure here... Let's put the screws to one of these creepy things and find the Crystal Star!"''
*"''You there! [[Lord Crump|Suspicious guy]]! You know something about the Crystal Stars, don't you?"''
*"''Mweh heh heh heh heh! You dare scoff at us?!? Koopa Clan...FORM UP!"''
*"''Mweh heh heh heh heh! So, what's it gonna be, tough guy?"''
*"''Your Massiveness!"''
*"''We did it! The [[Magikoopa]] scouts found a suspicious underground chamber! It isn't even on any maps! Yeah! REALLY suspicious! SOMETHING must be there!"''
*"''The [[Hammer Bros.]] battalion is attempting to breach the chamber at the moment... The area is impenetrable! They're scrapping tooth and nail in there!"''
*"''Incredible, Lord Bowser! Nothing stood in your way! You couldn't be more super!"''
*"''Gracious me! Looooook! Lord Bowser! On the wall! Behind you!"''
*"''Mweh heh heh heh! At last, we've found one! And now we'll make it ours!"''
*"''Ouch."''
*"''Hmmm? Eeek! It split in two! Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no!"''
*"''Wait... Hold the phone! My mighty Lord Bowser! This is just glass! It's a flimflam! A fake!"'
*"''So they say, Your Putridness! And lo and behold, there it is now! Right behind you!"''
*"''Impressive work, Lord Bowser! You're the absolute best star-getting-guy!"''
*"''But look at this fancy display! The pedestal and everything! It's so posh! If it's a fake, then where's the real one, huh?"''
*"''Hmmm... How bothersome... The fact that we keep being outmaneuvered is distrubing. But where in the world could [[Mario]] and [[Luigi|his brother]] be heading? Where..."''
*"''Ah... [[Paragoomba]]! What are you so worked up over, hmm? Tell me!"''
*"''The [[Thousand-Year Door]]! An unbelievably legendary treasure is behind that door!"''
*"''Your Chunkiness! Are you OK?''"
*"''And [[Princess Peach|Peach]] as well?!?"''
*"''[[Mario]]! You sniveling bug! This is it for you! Mweh heh heh heh heh!''"
*"''Lord Bowser! Lord Bowser! Rah! Rah! Rah! Get 'em!''"
*"''Forgive me, Lord Bowser! I have nothing left...''"

==[[King K]]==
*"''Yo, [[Mario|Rook]]! How was your first fight, dog?''"
*"''I'm King K, man. Just a bush-league scrub like you.''"
*"''Good meetin' you, man. you look like a stand-up dude. I think I can hang with you.''"
*"''Hey, so, why don't you meet the gang, huh? This guy here's [[Master Crash]].''"
*"''Meet my peeps, Gonzales! I told you we were gonna square off, and now it's ON!"
*"''You're gonna need about 10 years of experience to beat King K and the KP Koopas!''"
*"''Yeah. My man's got, you know, some speech issues, but he's got good advice sometimes.''"
*"''Riiiight, man, whatever. Anyway, this lean machine over here is [[Bandy Andy]].''"
*"''OK, cool, and this last guy with the sweet purple kicks is known as [[Cleftor]].''"
*"''Easy there, Cleft-dog! Dude ain't the friendliest guy but you get used to him.''"
*"''Anyway, that's the core minor-league crew, man! You need something, ask, us.''"
*"''Oh, yeah... I almost forgot. You and me gotta eventually square off, so good luck, man.''"
*"''Hey, dog... Looks like your next match is against me. Good luck, man... to both of us.''"
*"''Hey, what's crackin', [[Mario|G-man]]? You just finish beatin' down some poor fools or what? You lookin' good, man.''"
*"''The old King K wouldn't mind a little bit of your luck, man. Yeah, that'd be nice.''"
*"''Again, [[Bandy Andy|dude]]? Man, you just a MAGNET for trouble!''"
*"''Aw, don't sweat it, [[Bandy Andy|B-money]]. [[Jolene]] can take that 'tude and shove it up her nose. Why you always chasin' that girl, anyway, man? You got a little thing for her?''"
*"''Man, I heard you just KNOCKED some blocks off! Not bad, [[Mario|Double-G-dog]]. You're the real deal, man. The realest I ever seen. Keep bustin' heads! An' if anyone gives you lip, you just tell 'em King K said to back it up! Biz-OWWWW!''"
*"''Whoa. Sounds like some poor sucker just earned himself a trip to the hospital. Hey, man, this is a brutal sport, sometimes, you know? This stuff happens.''"
*"''Hey, man, check this: I heard the Hot Dog Stand outside's gettin' a new menu item. Yeah, sounds like it's some crazy Hot Dog made with an egg from a southern island. Some fool was even sayin' the Hot Dog'll help you win fights! You oughta snack out on one!''"
**"''Hey, man, check this—I heard the hot-dog stand outside's gettin' a new menu item that uses a Mystic Egg! Did you know? Their Hot Dogs can restore your HP and FP during a match. That's some serious nutrish! I'm not sponsored—YET—just excited about some probably-amazing Hot Dogs! You oughta snack out on one!''" (Switch)
*"''Hey, you hear the latest, G-dog? My boys said they saw a STUNNIN' babe havin' a juice at the Fresh Juice Shop. King K could use a little shortie in his life, dig? Check her out for me, man!''"
**"''Did you hear the latest, G-man? My boys said they saw a STUNNIN' babe havin' a juice at the fresh-juice shop. She likes juice... I like juice... We already have so much in common! Check her out for me, man!''" (Switch)
*"''Listen, man... Keep it under your hat, but I'm thinkin' 'bout retirin' soon. If I stay any longer...well, my future might get shorter, dig? After next match, I'm gone. It ain't cool, man, that's for sure, but you know what? That's life, Double-G-dog.''"
*"''Listen... You be cool, man. Promise me you won't forget you once knew the King K!''"
*"''Wassup, dog? Good seein' you again finally, man, for real! Me, I UNretired! Let's rock this joint!''"

==[[Koopatrol]]==
*"''Uh, Great Lord [[Bowser]]... The, uh, crusty hag [[Kammy Koopa]] will arrive momentarily.''"
*"''I'm really sorry for the inconvenience, but please wait at the rear of the room.''"

==[[Koopa Troopa]]==
*"''Welcome, travelers!''"
*"''Hm? Where are you, you ask? Why, this is Petalburg! Sorry, but it's been a long time since we've had visitors here. We're, kind of remote. Yeppity, once that dragon Hooktail was spotted flying around this area... Well, it didn't help tourism, put it that way. People just stopped visiting.''"
*"''Crystal Stars, you say? Hmmm... Nope, can't say that I have. Sorry about that. You might want to speak with the mayor, though. He's old... Really, really old. As such, he knows all kinds of stuff we don't. Koopas of his age, are...um...really smart. Anyway, the mayor lives in that pink house up ahead. You should go check it out.''"
*"''So-called Great Gonzales! Don't think I'm gonna take it easy on you, baby!''"

==[[Koopie Koo]]==
*"''...Omigosh! That hat! Those overalls! And... And that magnificent mustache! You're [[Mario]], aren't you?''"
*"''Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! If only [[Koops]] were as brave as [[Mario|you]]...''"
*"''My boyfriend Koops is just sort of, well...wishy-washy. He's not quite timid, but... Well, I guess I just wish he would be more, you know, MANLY sometimes.''"
*"''Ohhhh... Koops... Why did I have to fall for someone like him?''"
*"''Wait... Was that out loud? Don't you dare tell him I said I've fallen for him! Please! I beg of you!''"
*"''I don't know why, but Koops has been acting odd lately. What could be bothering him? Probably nothing. He's always tweaked about something.''"
*"''Well, part of it, [[Koops]]... I THOUGHT I heard you say you're off to fight [[Hooktail]]...''"
*"''But...[[Koops|you]]'re joking, right? I mean, you're not exactly a powerhouse... [[Hooktail|He]]'ll eat you up!''"
**"''But...[[Koops|you]]'re joking, right? I mean, you're not exactly a powerhouse... She'll eat you up!''" (Switch)
*"''No, Koops, you don't. I mean, going off to some dangerous place? It's... It's stupid. So what if you're timid? And sort of a crybaby. I don't care about all that. I just want you to be you. So, don't go...''"
*"''FINE! IGNORE ME! STUBBORN KOOPA!!!''"
*"''Oh, my dear Koops... I'm sorry about before. I overreacted. So, I've been thinking... about your tough decision... and here's what I decided. This is the first time you've ever faced your deep fears. ...And I'm going to support you. I won't hold you back! Good luck, sweet Koops! I love you! ♡''"
*"''Mario, listen to me... You take care of my Koops. Please, you must.''"
*"''Koops, my sweet... I'll be right [[Petalburg|here]] waiting...for you to prove yourself.''"
*"''Is it me, Koops, or are you more...toned than before? Well, well, well, well... You'll grow out of that shell soon if you aren't careful... ♡''"
*"''Oh, my sweet Koops... I wonder if he's forgotten me on his big adventure? Men are so unpredictable... Still, I'm sure our love grows stronger with distance. ♡''"
*"''Oh, dear...''"
*"''[[Koops]]... You're OK, right? You promised me you'd come back OK...''"

==[[Koopley]]==
*"''Oooo... Ooooooooooooo...''"
*"''YAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'm out! I'm finally out!''"
*"''Hey, [[Koops|Son]]! You've gotten so big since I saw you last!''"
*"''Well, I came here a while back to deal with Hooktail, and all was well and good... But just before my finishing blow, he played a trick on me and gobbled me down whole. I've been hiding in my shell for the ten years since then... Inside Hooktail's belly! And boy, was it nasty! Yuck! I'm so glad to finally get out! Ahh ha ha ha ha ha!''"
**"''Well, I came here a while back to deal with Hooktail, and all was well and good... But just before my finishing blow, she used the smell from her feet to stun me, then gobbled me down whole! I've been hiding in my shell for the 10 years since then...inside Hooktail's belly! And boy, was it nasty! Yuck! I'm so glad to finally get out! Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha!''" (Switch)
*"''Hey, speaking of which... What are [[Koops|you]] doing [[Hooktail Castle|here]], anyway?''"
**"''Hey, speaking of which... What are you all doing here, anyway?''" (Switch)
*"''...Crystal Star? [[Diamond Star|This]] wouldn't be what you're talking about, would it? I found [[Diamond Star|it]] down there in Hooktail's belly. Nice, huh? I kept it as a souvenir.''"
**"''Crystal Star? This wouldn't be what you're talking about, would it? I found it down there in Hooktail's belly. Nice, huh? I was gonna keep it as a souvenir...''" (Switch)
*"''Nicely said, young Koops! THAT'S my boy! But always remember this: you are my son, Koops...and I am your father!''"
*"''No matter where it is you go, Son, just know that your old Koopa's rooting for you!''"
*"''Take care of young Koops, will you, Mario? I'm looking forward to the day my boy comes home a full-grown Koopa!''"
*"''Looks like you're working hard, Koops. Good for you! Don't push too hard, though. If you do, you may find yourself all gobbled up... Like me! Yar har har har!''"
*"''So tell me, Mario, how's my boy, Koops, doing? If he's not pulling his weight, you just let me know. I'll take his place in your group like THAT! Oh, yeah! Yar har har har har har!''"
*"''OK, Koops, it's time for me to teach you my own patented fighting technique! If you can master this skill, you'll be ready for any foe! I like to call it the... [[Power Shell]]! Hm? You already know it? Hmmm... So kids grow even without their parents...''"
**"''OK, Koops, it's time for me to teach you my own patented fighting technique! If you can master this skill, you'll be ready for any foe! I like to call it the... [[Shell Toss]]! Hm? You already know it? Hmmm... So kids grow even without their parents...''" (Switch)
*"''Mario, don't let Koops know, but I have this dream. Are you ready for it? Someday...I want to go on an adventure with Koops! I get the feeling that day's not too far off, somehow. That's two I owe you, Mario!''"
*"''[[Mayor Kroop|Mayor]]! It's the [[Diamond Star|Crystal Star]]! But I thought [[Mario]] had this thing...''"
*"''Hmmm... You may be right, but I don't know. But if anything's happened to my boy [[Koops]] and [[Mario]]...''"

==[[Koops]]==
*"''Um... Hi there, folks.''"
*"''Um... Excuse me! Err... I beg [[Mario|your]] pardon! Wait a moment! PLEASE!!!''"
*"''Pardon me for yelling like that... I was panicking. Umm... How to begin? M-My name's...Koops. I heard you're traveling to Hooktail's castle. So, anyway, I, uh... I have a favor to ask.''"
*"''Well... Ummmm... Oh, just... Just forget it. Never mind. Ignore me. Good... Good-bye.''"
*"''Ummmmmm... See... I was wondering... Would you... OH, PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU TO FIGHT [[Hooktail|HOOKTAIL]]! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU!''"
*"''I miss him, of course... I miss him badly. But this isn't just about avenging my dad. Well, no... That's not true. Revenge is a part of it, I guess. A big part. But the truth is, I want to finish what he started. For his sake. For everyone's sake.''"
*"''I... Man, this is embarrasing... See, everyone always says I'm a crybaby... A weakling. But if I can defeat Hooktail... Well, I won't be those things. I'll be strong, like my [[Koopley|dad]].''"
*"''No need to worry, though! After all, I'm traveling with Mario. He's the man!''"
*"''I'm sorry, Koopie Koo... I swear to you... I will come back to you a stronger Koopa!''"
*"''Oh, man… Hooktail Castle… The stories were all true… This place is TERRIFYING…''"
*"''Ummm… What’re they doing? Ouch! It’s no use, Mario! They’re all over me, man! What should we do?''"
*"''Ummm… M-Mario… L-Look at that!''"
*"''Oh, I don’t like the look of This… Come on! Run!''"
*"''Man… That was TOO close! Gotta shake it off… Hoo. OK. We got the key, so let’s go open that spooky chest.''"
*"''H-Hey! Who are you? Umm, well, you see… We’re here to beat Hooktail and get the…um…Crystal Star. So…don’t think we’ll let you get the Crystal Star first, no matter how cute you are!''"
*"''Darn!''"
*"''Ummm… Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?''"
*"''Oh, my! You’re so…bold… Is that legal?''"
*"''I wonder what her story is… I bet it’s an interesting one… Full of romance…''"
*"''That’s just not right!''"
*"''I’ve had enough of this! Let’s finish this guy off fast, Mario!''"
**"''I’ve had enough of this! Let’s finish this gal off fast, Mario!''" (Switch)
*"''Wow! We actually pulled it off, Mario! Now all we have to do is find that Crystal Star thing you’re looking for, Mario.''"
*"''Something wrong, Mario? You’re…um…shaking. Are you feeling all right?''"
*"''That’s a new Mailbox SP, isn’t it? Wow, neat! Did you get some mail?''"
*"''Wow... You got mail from a princess. That’s so cool! So, anyway, she’s unhurt! That’s good, at least… But I didn’t like the sound of those kidnappers looking for the Crystal Stars as well…''"
*"''Um… All right, Mario! Hold up that Crystal Star!''"
*"''Hey, uh, Mario, look there. The next Crystal Star showed up on the map. But… I’m sorry, but I don’t have a clue where that is. Um… I think maybe we should take it to Professor Frankly and let him look at it.''"
*"''Um… So, can you tell us where the next Crystal Star is or not?''"
*"''A great tree in the Boogly Woods, huh?''"
*"''Um… Professor Frankly... You should probably know... It’s about Princess Peach... Mr. Mario got an e-mail from her just recently. Her Highness said that the guys who kidnapped her are also hunting Crystal Stars. Oh, and she said she doesn’t even know where she’s being held. ...Yeah.''"
*"''Um... I guess all we can do is head to Boggly Woods to find that next Crystal Star!''"
*"''Hey! Mario! You see that? That was one of the things Professor Frankly mentioned!''"
*"''Um... Mario, that was uncool. Don’t say stuff like that. I thought you were…nicer. Relax, relax, little guy. We’re no bullies, I swear.''"
*"''Um... Aren’t you one of the creatures from Boggly Woods? Why are you down here?''"
*"''X-Nauts? What the heck are those? Sounds like tissues… to the extreme or something. Look, we’re not here to do ANYTHING to you, so relax. Tell us what’s going on, OK?''"
*"''A bunch of bad guys in the Great Tree? If those are the same guys who kidnapped the princess, they want the Crystal Star!''"
*"''Um... I guess we should… I’d feel pretty bad if we didn’t do anything. Plus, we do need to get the Crystal Stars before those X-guys do.''"
*"''So, the Boggly Woods, huh? Looks mysterious, all right. What’ll we run into next?''"
*"''Hey, I don't think anyone's home. It's too quiet... Maybe we should take off.''"
**"''Hey, I don't think anyone's home. The owner must be out right now... Maybe we should take off.''" (Switch)
*"''Oh, no... What’s the matter? Hey, don’t take it so hard… It does look sturdy, though. What do we do now?''"
*"''Not to be a worrywart, but how in the heck can we find somebody’s secret entrance?''"
*"''Gee... Is something wrong? Gee whiz, that must be some nice necklace, huh? …Hang on… You know what? It’s weird… I’m sure I just heard someone talking about a necklace…''"
*"''Uh-huh! Uh-huh! I remember! THEY’RE the ones with… Hey! Wait a second… What do you mean, you’ve been waiting for Mario?!? That sounds…suspicious!''"
*"''Whoa, whoa, scary lady! How do you know about the map and the crystals? Have you talked to Princess Peach or something? Hey, now that I think about it, who are you, anyway?''"
*"''Oh! Hey! I know you! Y-You’re that one girl… I-I never thought I’d see… Wait, uh… Listen. I mean, not that I’m happy to see you, but… I’ll shut up now.''"
*"''Aww, AGAIN? Why? How? You’re SO lucky, Mario!''"
*"''Man, she sure is cute.''"
*"''Umm, while we have your attention, can I ask you something? We’re looking for this thing called a Crystal Star… Have you heard of it?''"
*"''Whoa! A pipe appeared! That was kind of…spooky. Oh well, let’s keep moving.''"
*"''Is he a lost child? Aw, man. That’s so sad! Hey, maybe we should let him be, huh?''"
*"''Um… Doesn’t it feel like he’s looking at us sort of…well, longingly, Mario? I mean… It almost looks like he fell out of his nest and is looking for a new family. This might sound crazy, but… Do you think he might be hoping to join us?''"
**"''Um… Doesn’t it feel like he’s looking at us sort of…well, longingly, Mario? I mean… It almost looks like he fell out of his nest and is looking for a new family. This might sound silly, but… Do you think he might be hoping to join us?''" (Switch)
*"''Boy! This just isn’t right. Let’s do something before my claustrophobia sets in…''"
*"''Wait… You see those? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen columns like those before…''"
*"''Huh? Whoa, whoa, whoa! The… The tree just shook! What was it? An earthquake?''"
*"''Mario, look! Look look look! It’s the Crystal Star!''"
*"''What? Did he just… Hey! What’s going on here?''"
*"''D-Did he just day… Eek! H-Hurry! We have to get the heck out of here!''"
*"''Um… ‘Scuse Us!''"
*"''We aren’t going to let you leave, you…you big bully! You hand over that Crystal Star and…get out of this tree! Yeah, get out!''"
*"''Yikes! That thing IS strong! … But I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something just not right about him… Be alert, OK? We can’t let ourselves get careless…''"
*"''We pulled it off, Mario! I can’t believe it! Wow!''"
*"''We’ll come back and see you again, I’m pretty sure. But… For now, we gotta go.''"
*"''Uh-oh! Ohhhh, man! Incoming mail!''"
*"''Pretty nice, huh, Mario?''"
*"''Um… Go for it, Mario! Break out the Crystal Star!''"
*"''Cool! The next Crystal Star showed up on the map! Hey, but…is it me, or is it up in the sky or something? Um… What could that mean?''"
*"''But, um… Why would they need to seal the treasure away in the first place? You think maybe they just wanted to protect it from thieves and robbers?''"
*"''That’s not what?''"
*"''Whoa, Professor Frankly!''"
*"''Oh, yeah, right… Anyway, what about the next Crystal Star? It looks like a it’s floating on that map! Um… If it’s a floating city… How the heck are we supposed to get there?''"
*"''Well, that doesn’t sound hard. Anyone can use these “channels”, right? Right?''"
*"''Well, hey, that sounds easy! We just have to talk to this Don Pianta person.''"
*"''Um… Excuse me, but, uh… That’s not true! The treasure is real! Honest!''"
*"''Sure! We can do anything! What is it?''"
*"''Umm… What should we do? I mean. I guess we should go tell Don Pianta something. But I… I don’t want our luck to turn terrible… Whatever THAT means!''"
*"''Wow, we did it, Mario! We can go to Glitzville!''"
*"''Ummm… Yeah, this would be Glitzville, all right… How do they make it float? I mean, it hasn’t ever, you know, plunged from the sky or anything, has it?''"
*"''Time to hunt down that Crystal Star, huh, Mario? I know I’m ready!''"
*"''Wow! This place is so cool! Hey, Mario, look up there! There’s a battle match going on right now!''"
*"''Umm… You see that, Mario? The thing on that shiny belt! Is that a Crystal Star?''"
*"''Yeah… Yeah! It’s gotta be! That sparkle’s a Crystal Star! Umm… But that doesn’t make much sense at all. Why would it be on that guy’s belt?''"
*"''Boy… I don’t know, Mario. It’s not like we can just steal that guy’s belt… …Or can we? What should be our move here?''"
**(Steal that thing!)
**"''Ummm… Listen, Mario, I think the world of you, but really… We can’t do that. It just wouldn’t be right. The way I see it, we have no choice… You gotta fight your way to the top and win that belt fair and square!''"
**(Battle our way to the top!)
**"''That’s the ticket, Mario! Do this thing RIGHT! All you have to do is become champ and you’ll get that belt fair and square!''"
*"''So…I guess we better get started. There must be a novice sign-up somewhere… My tummy’s getting upset… Let’s find the guy in charge before I lose my nerve!''"
*"''Hey! That’s no fair! You can’t attack before the bell rings! That’s cheating!''"
*"''Come on, Mario! We can’t let a bunch of cheaters beat us. Let’s take them down!''"
*"''I’ll try not to get in your way, Mario…''"
*"''Ummm… OK, we can do this!''"
*"''We…won? Cool!''"
*"''We did it, Mario! Wow!''"
*"''…Hm? Is it just me, or do you think that egg… What? You want our help, egg?''"
*"''Umm… Your call, Mario. What do you want to do?''"
**(Help the little guy!)
**"''Yeah, we can’t ignore it… Good call, Mario. Let’s set this little guy free.''"
**(Let there be Hot Dogs!)
**"''Mario! You’re supposed to be the adult, here! Scaring babies just plain isn’t nice! The way I see it, there’s no two ways about this thing. We let this little guy go.''"
*"''Ummm… Provided that’s OK with you, too, sir.''"
*"''Well, cool. Looks like you’re free and clear, little guy. ‘Bye!''"
*"''Huh? What’s with you now? You want to follow us or something?''"
*"''Ummm… I think he definitely wants to stick with us. What should we do, Mario?''"
**(OK, it can follow us.)
**"''That’s great, Mario. You’re in with us, little buddy! Stay out of the way, OK?''"
*(No. Jumping eggs bug me.)
*"''Man! I had heard you were this nice guy, but…man. Wow. Anyway, we gotta take him. Just ignore Mario. You’re in with us, little buddy! Stay out of the way, OK?''"
*"''Wow! If we win, we’ll actually be in the major league! Let’s show our stuff!''"
*"''Umm… Hey, uh, Mario? Did you notice that the little bouncy egg isn’t here? Where do you think it went?''"
*"''Ummm…WHAT?!? You hatched out of that egg? That’s nuts… So you’re a Yoshi, huh?''"
*"''Ummm… OK, Mario. Are we gonna do it this time?''"
*"''Ummm… Mario? Wasn’t that your e-mail alert just now? Shouldn’t you check it?''"
*"''Gee whiz! That X guy again? He wants us to go to the “watering hole”? Who in the world is this guy?''"
*"''Wow, Mario! E-mails are coming fast and furious now!''"
*"''"The blockade in the minor-league locker room", eh? What might be behind it?''"
*"''Wow, Mario! That’s a research document on the Crystal Stars! Unbelievable! Someone commissioned a report on the Crystal Stars! A report with pictures!''"
*"''Ummm… Maybe I’m being paranoid, but it seems odd that someone would lose this.''"
*"''Oh… Well, there she goes… Taking that document we worked so hard to get…''"
*"''Well… I guess we know that the Crystal Star is in the arena, at least.''"
*"''Hey, that looks pretty good! You could probably get a quick energy boost from it…''"
**(Eat)
**"''All right! Cake time!''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''Really? Boy, you have some willpower, Mario. It looks so delicious…''"
*"''Umm… Was that King Bowser? What was he doing here? That…kinda freaks me out.''"
*"''Ummm… Mario? Your pocket’s beeping. Mail time!''"
*"''Oh! It’s from X again, huh? Telephone booth? Pavilion? Does he mean outside? You remember seeing a phone booth? Well, we better go look around.''"
*"''Hey! Who does that guy think he is, threatening us? But wait… Threatening us… Maybe that hate mail came from Rawk Hawk! Well, one way or the other, we need to be really careful from now on.''"
*"''Now we have to go to some storage room? Man… This seems like a lot of legwork. Is this guy just playing with us?''"
*"''Oh! Ms. Mowz! Hi there! Are you stealing something again? How exciting for you! Hey, by the way, a security guard heard you in here. Were you making noise?''"
*"''Oh, sure, right, of course! I didn’t mean to doubt you, Ms. Mowz…''"
*"''Oh… Mario, you lucky dog…''"
*"''Boy, Ms. Mowz sure is cute. Too bad I sound like such a dork whenever I talk to her. Hey, but enough of that… What was that last thing she said, about people upstairs?''"
**"''Boy, Ms. Mowz sure is cute. Too bad I sound like such a nerd whenever I talk to her. Hey, but enough of that… What was that last thing she said, about people upstairs?''" (Switch)
*"''Umm… “The staircase switch”? There’s supposed to be a staircase in here somewhere?''"
*"''Mario! Did you get all that? Fighters are going missing! Talk about scary! I figured King K just took an early retirement and headed home…''"
*"''Wow, that was TOO close. So, Mario, you heard that part about the Crystal Star, right? Ms. Jolene acted pretty weird, I thought. Kind of suspicious… We can look into it later, I guess. For now, we better clear out before they find us.''"
*"''Oh, goody, this guy again. He really seems to know a whole lot of stuff… Those missing fighters… The Crystal Star… You know, if we find this guy, we’ll have all the answers! But who could it be?''"
*"''Wow, that looks pretty darn good, doesn’t it, Mario? Let’s eat it, huh?''"
**(Eat)
**"''Cool! Snack break!''"
**"''Oh, MAN is that ever good! Hang on a sec’, Mario… There’s a little left…''"
**"''Hey… You know, this cake is so good that it feels like my whole body is going numb…''"
**"''Hi. I’m feeling OK, now… But good to see you took care of business anyway! Still… A poisoned cake… Somebody wanted us out of the picture. We better watch our steps.''"
**(Don’t eat)
**"''Oh, man… Are you sure? I bet it’s got that cookie crust, too…''"
*"''Ummm… Say, Mario, you notice this guy over here?''"
*"''Umm… You know what, Mario? That cake was poisoned! We almost ate that thing, too. If we had… Gee, if we had, we’d be in big trouble!''"
*"''Hey, another mail, Mario! Who is it this time?''"
*"''Oh, OK. It’s that X guy again. His messages still freak me out, but this is our only clue. The Great Gonzales posters in the lobby, huh? We have to peel them off? Well, let’s give it a shot.''"
*"''Ummm… What do you think that unlocks?''"
*"''WHAT THE HECK?!? H-How could this happen?!? Bandy Andy! And King K!''"
*"''Andy! We’re gonna get through this! Why shouldn’t we go near the ring?''"
*"''Hey! Mario! You see that? Wasn’t that…Ms. Jolene? My brain is starting to hurt trying to figure all this out. What is going ON?!?''"
*"''Ummm… Mr. Security Guy? Isn’t the ring this way?''"
*"''Hey, listen, wait up! Where are you taking us?''"
*"''Umm… Why are we in a minor-league locker room? And where is everybody? He said to wait here, but… I don’t know, Mario. We’re gonna miss our big fight!''"
*"''Look, no two ways about it, we’re gonna miss this match. We better find somebody.''"
*"''Ohhh…crud. Bad news, Mario. This door’s been locked. We’re trapped in here!''"
*"''Ummm… I’m pretty sure that we forfeit if we don’t show up at the match, Mario. We have to figure out a way to get out of here! And quick!''"
*"''Nope! Still locked!''"
*"''No good! This one’s locked too! I’m freaking out!''"
*"''Whoa. Is that what plumbers do? I had no idea, man. Wow. Anyway, let’s go!''"
*"''Phew! We made it…barely. Listen to all those cheers! Your fans are out in force! Come on, let’s get in there and beat this guy!''"
*"''Well, Mario, here’s our chance. We’re fighting this monster. I’ll be right behind you!''"
*"''What do you mean by that? Are you… Are you saying it was you who got us locked up by that security guard?''"
*"''So it WAS you! You’re the guy who’s been sending us Crystal Star hate mail!''"
*"''Wow! We pulled it off, Mario! Can you even believe it? But… You know, Rawk Hawk really didn’t seem to know about the Crystal Star… We still haven’t found the real one. I wonder where that thing could be?''"
*"''Ummm… Mario? Is it just me, or do you hear a voice?''"
*"''Could it be…a ghost?''"
*"''Y-Y-Y-Yikes! That Mailbox SP almost scared me to death! Turn down that volume!''"
*"''So...there is actually a ghost in here with us? Let's hide under the bed."
*"''Ummm… Is this the air duct? Where does it lead to?''"
*"''Hey… That’s Mr. Grubba! Could he really have made those fighters disappear?''"
*"''OK… Looks like he’s gone. He said something about his desk drawer, right?''"
*"''Hey, see that? I bet that’s the document Grubba hid. Let’s check it out.''"
*"''Wow! A machine under the ring using a Crystal Star? These are the blueprints! I can’t make much sense of this paper, but I think the Crystal Star powers it! If this document’s correct, then the machine can…gulp… suck the power out of people! Oh, man… You think King K and Bandy Andy got, you know…drained?''"
*"''You...great...big...JERK! How could you do that to King K and Bandy Andy?!?"
*"''Mario! Let’s go after him!''"
*"''Wow, Mario! Take a look! The Crystal Star!''"
*"''How could you use a Crystal Star just to look better? You won’t get away with this!''"
*"''Wow! Grubba got…really big! That isn’t good!''"
*"''Mario, we owe it to the other fighters to teach this maniac a lesson! C’mon!''"
*"''Ms. Jolene!''"
*"''Ohhh… So, our mysterious X…''"
*"''Gee… She seemed kind of aloof, but she really just loved her brother…''"
*"''Hey! Mario, look up there! The Crystal Star!''"
*"''So… The Crystal Star brought him back?''"
*"''Ummm... You sure you don’t mind us taking it?''"
*"''I guess it’s OK, then, Mario! Let’s take it!''"
*"''All right! That makes three Crystal Stars! We’d better get back to Rogueport, Mario!''"
*"''Ummm... Mario? Do you think that’s another e-mail from Princess Peach?''"
*"''Th-Th-They want to rule the w-w-world? Ummm… I don’t like the sound of that…''"
*"''Mario, thanks to you, I've gained courage and inner strength, and I've grown closer to my dad. I think I like myself more since I've known you. It's all so hard to put into words. Um...''"
*"''Wow. I am not feeling attractive right now…''"
*"''[[Three Shadows|YOU guys]] are the ones who are done for! Let’s settle this, once and for all!''"
*"''Let’s leave [[Three Shadows|these wimps]], Mario...''"
*"''Yikes! What a grump!''"
*"''No... way! No way, lady!''"
{{Quotes}}
{{PMTTYD}}
[[Category:Quotes|Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes by character (A–K)]]
[[Category:Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door|*]]